Let Me Find You
by LyssLovesTiva33
Summary: Meredith and Derek had the perfect life. Perfect careers, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**This is my new fic called Let Me Find You. Izzie never had cancer, George didn't get hit by a bus or join the army, and everything is as it should be..... This takes placed 3 years after end of season five.....**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

"Time of death," Meredith sighed. "13:02."

"We did all we could Mer," Derek told her. Meredith looked down at the 12 year old girl on the OR table. Amanda Dole. Only a few minutes ago she was alive, but now she was lifeless and cold.

"I... I.... we should have gotten her to surgery earlier," Meredith whispered as they went to the scrub room.

"We had no clue it was an aneurysm at that point. There was no way we knew it was gonna burst either," Derek told her kissing her cheek.

"We have to tell he father though," Meredith sighed. "All I want to do if go get Em from the day care and cuddle with her." Two and a half years ago, Meredith and Derek's lives were complete when little Emily Elizabeth was born at 5 pounds.

"Your shifts over now, you can go get her after...." Derek told her turning off the faucet.

"Let's go Der," Meredith murmured and left the scrub room and made their way towards the waiting room. When Matthew Dole spotted the two neurosurgeons he jumped off his seat and ran over.

"Dr. Shepherd's," he said sounding relived and nervous. "How is Mandy doing? Didn't you just..." He trailed off.

"Mr. Dole," Meredith began. "Your daughter...."

"No... don't say it," he hissed.

"We did everything we could. The aneurysm burst and..." Derek explained.

"SHUT UP!" Matthew screamed. Meredith jumped back. "You.... you said she would be okay! You promised!"

_"But.... but what does that mean?" Matthew asked fearfully from the side of his unconscious daughter's gurney. _

_"She needs surgery to clip the aneurysm. Other wise it could burst and bleed out," Derek explained._

_"But... but she is so young... I can't lose her.... you have to do everything possible," he begged._

_"Mr. Dole," Meredith said calmly taking out a picture in her wallet. And pointed to the little girl. "This is our daughter Emily. We will treat Amanda as if we are treating her. She is in good hands." Matthew looked up at them for a second, kissed Amanda's hand, and let them pass towards the OR. _

"We couldn't do anything..." Derek tried to continue.

"SHUT! UP! YOU KILLED HER!" he screamed. "YOU TWO ARE MURDERERS! SHE WAS A PERFECT LITTLE GIRL AND YOU RUINED HER! YOUR GONNA REGRET THIS!" With that he stormed out of the room and the hospital. Derek sighed and kissed Meredith's head.

"Der," she whispered.

"He's angry Mer, and confused. He just lost his daughter, he has a right to be angry," he reassured. She only sighed. "Go get Em. She has ways to cheer you up I can't even figure out."

"Okay Der," Meredith murmured, kiss his cheek, and went towards the elevator and to the day care floor. When Meredith entered the room, she immediately saw Emily coloring with a few of her friends. She used to be friends with Tuck until his father got full custody of him much to Miranda's dismay. Now Emily was like her little girl. She was the only baby in the family and probably going to be like that for a little while longer. She was everyone's little girl.

"Hello Dr. Shepherd," one of the assistants, Lauren said. "You here to pick up Emily?"

"Yes," she nodded and called for her daughter. Immediately her little head whipped around and Meredith smiled as she saw her daughter's eyes light up.

"MOMMY!" she squealed and ran towards her mother, jumping into her arms.

"Hey princess," Meredith said kissing her cheek. "How was day care today?"

"It fun," Emily babbled. "We pway wit bwocks and me make you a piture!"

"Well let's see it," Meredith said setting her down. Meredith laughed as she watched her chubby little legs run towards the table she was previously sitting at and pick up a paper before running back into her arms.

"This it Momma," Emily said handing it to her. It consisted of a bunch of squiggles. Meredith could make out three people. One that looked like her, one that looked like Derek, and a little girl in between them. They were all standing in front of what looked like house that was near trees. It was supposed to be their house on Derek's land.

"It's beautiful Em, thank you," Meredith said and put it in her pocket. "That's going on the fridge." Their fridge was covered with drawing and finger painting's Emily has made. Emily giggled.

"We home now?" Emily asked.

"Yepp we are going home," Meredith said. "I just have to stop by Daddy's office."

"We see Daddy?" she asked.

"Maybe," Meredith told her walking out of the day care and onto the elevator.

"Me push button?" Emily asked.

"You push the button," Meredith nodded. "Push this one Em." She pointed to the number 3 and Emily pushed it immediately with a giggle. "So what do you want to do when we get home Em?"

"Rella! Rella!" Emily squealed. Rella was Emily's word for Cinderella. That was her favorite movie of the moment.

"Shhh Em, not so loud," Meredith mildly scolded. Emily put her finger to her lips.

"Shhh," she repeated and Meredith nodded smiling. The elevator opened and Meredith opened Derek's office.

"Dada," Emily frowned when Derek wasn't found.

"Sorry baby," Meredith said. "Daddy isn't here. But you can see him when we get home."

"Okay," Emily said, pouting. Meredith put Emily on the couch and quickly slipped out of her scrubs and into "Mommy clothes" as Emily liked to call them. Emily played with Meredith's keys until Mer slipped on her coat and picked her up. As soon as they walked out of the office Emily spotted Mark, Lexie (her godparents), Izzie, and Alex at the nurses station.

"Unca Mark!" Emily squealed and wiggled out of her mother's grasp. As fast as her legs could carry she ran over to Mark and jumped into his arms.

"Hey munchkin," Mark tickled her stomach. "How's my favorite little girl."

"Me not little," Emily shook her head. "Me almost fwee." She held up three fingers.

"Not until September Em," Meredith told her walking over.

"How long till dat?" Emily asked tilting her head.

"In about 6 months," Izzie told her, while kissing her on the cheek.

"How long dat?" she asked, everyone laughed. Emily was always asking questions.

"A long time Em," Alex told her. Emily pouted.

"Me not like that," she said still pouting. "Me want to be fwee now."

"That's not something I like to see," a new voice said. Emily's eyes lit up.

"DADDY!" she squealed and turned around to see Derek walking towards them. Emily held her arms out for him and as soon as he got close enough, wiggled out of Mark's grasp and hurled herself into his arms. Derek wrapped his arms around her little body as Emily started to examine Derek's pocket and name tag with her tiny fingers.

"Hey princess," Derek said nodding hello to his friends. "How was day care today?"

"It fun," Emily babbled. "Me colored and cas and bwocks."

"You colored, played with cars, and played with blocks," Lexie said in mock amazement. "This must have been a big day. You must be tired."

"Uh-uh. Me not tired," Emily shook her head. "Me still gets to pway wit Mommy."

"Oh so we must be interrupting," Alex teased tickling the little girls stomach.

"Unca Awex, what's... intewupin?" Emily asked.

"You'll learn when your older Em," Izzie told her.

"But I am almost fwee," Emily said again, holding up three fingers. She then found Derek's pen and began clicking it.

"A silly almost three year old," Derek teased throwing her over his shoulder. This sent Emily into a fit of hysterical giggling before he lifted her to sit on his shoulder.

"Me tawer then all ou," Emily pointed out with a smile.

"Yeah, you are getting so big Em," Mark said tickling her foot. Derek held her in place as she started to kick her legs.

"Em, I think we better go now," Meredith told her as she noticed her getting hyper.

"Kay," she nodded. "Cause me hungyyyy!"

"Well we'll just have to fix that won't we," Meredith said. "Say goodbye to Daddy, Uncle Mark, Aunt Lexie, Uncle Alex, and Aunt Izzie."

"Bye bye!" she waved to Alex, Izzie, Mark, and Lexie. She reached up and left a wet kiss on Derek's cheek. "Bye bye Daddy." She then stuck her hand in her mouth.

"Bye princess, see you at home," he said and handed her to Meredith. Emily giggled as Meredith lifted her up on her hip and allowed her to examine her hair with her wet fingers. Meredith grimaced but she loved her too much to say stop.

"Bye Der," Meredith said as he kissed her cheek.

"Mommy, Feeboat?" Emily asked.

"Yes we are going on the ferry boat Em," Meredith answered. An hour later they were home. Meredith was cutting up cheese and salami for Emily in the kitchen. That was one of the only things she would eat for lunch.

"What do you want to drink Em?" Meredith asked as her daughter stood at her feet, her bear 'Beary' in her hands.

"Apple Duce," Emily answered.

"Apple juice it is," Meredith said picking her up and placing her in her high chair. Emily giggled and reached for the plate her mother prepared along with some watermelon. Emily giggled as she picked up a cracker and stuffed it in her mouth along with her hand. She then hoisted Beary up and grabbed her sippy cup and put it to Beary's mouth.

"What are you doing Em?" Meredith asked biting into her own sandwich.

"Beary tirsty," she answered before taking a sip.

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "He hungry too?" Immediately she picked up a cracker and held it to Beary's mouth.

"He hungyyyy too," Emily nodded. It didn't take long for all the food to be gone from Emily's plate.

"Me down Momma," Emily said banging on the high chair once.

"Emily Elizabeth, no banging," Meredith scolded.

"Orry Mommy," Emily said looking down. Meredith smiled and took her out of the seat.

"Your forgiven princess," she said. "Now... you wanna go watch Cinderella."

"Rella! Rella!" Emily giggled and started jumping up and down. Meredith put the DVD in for Em and cleaned up from lunch before sitting down with her. It wasn't long until Emily was asleep, Meredith, not realizing it was her nap time. Instead of putting her upstairs she allowed her to sleep on her lap for the majority of the time. She was still upset about Amanda and was easily comforted by her daughters sleeping form. Of course, it didn't take long for Emily to wake up as soon as the hour and a half passed. Immediately she became the rambunctious two year old again.

"Mommy what we do now!" Emily giggled. Meredith was about to suggest coloring but the thought of crayons and markers in the already messy living room made her shutter.

"Em, why don't you go to your play room for a little and maybe we can go for a walk later," Meredith suggested.

"Okay Mommy!" Emily giggled and grabbed Beary by the arm. Meredith shook her head as she felt the thump of her little feet through the floor on the way to the play room.

"Careful Em," she laughed and began picking up some of Emily's toys and DVD's that were scattered over the rug in the living room, despite the fact that they had a play room. That is when she heard a door creak open.

"Em!" she called. "Emily Elizabeth answer me!" There was no answer. All she heard was a door close.

"EMILY-" she broke off as something struck her in the back of the head and she fell to the floor and everything went black.....

* * *

**........... Who hit Meredith? Did Emily hear? What is gonna happen?**

**Do you like it or not?????? Should I continue???????**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**This is my new fic called Let Me Find You. Izzie never had cancer, George didn't get hit by a bus or join the army, and everything is as it should be..... This takes place about 3 years after end of season five.....**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

"Mommy," Emily called. "You pway wit me now?" There was no answer and Emily pouted, holding Beary close. "Mommy! Mom-" Just then she heard her mother.

"EMILY-" Her eyes lit up and she ran towards her mother's voice. She expected to see her mommy standing in the living room, but instead there was a strange man holding a gun. He was standing over her mother's limp form on the floor.

"Emily," he called. Emily shrunk back behind the wall. She was scared.

"It's okay. Emily, come out," he said with a creepy smile. He started to walk towards the play room so she ran and hid behind her toy box. Emily watched silently as the man came into the room and looked around. Dissatisfied with not finding her, he turned around and started to walk towards the kitchen. Now that he was out of sight Emily came out and went to her mother's body.

"Mommy," she whimpered fearfully touching her mom's arm. "Mommy. Mommy wake up." Meredith didn't move. "Mommy...." Emily was about to cry out when she heard him again. She whimpered and ran towards the stairs and began climbing them.

"There you are," he said with a smile while coming out of the kitchen.

"MOMMY!" she cried and tried to climb faster.

"Get back here kid," the man hissed and Emily started crying. Immediately she ran towards her room before he got to the top of the stairs. As quietly as she could while hugging Beary close to her, Emily opened up her closet door, climbed inside, and tucked her legs in.

"Mommy," she whimpered and tried to stop crying knowing he could hear her. She heard him walking outside of her room.

"Emily!" he screamed. "Emily get out here!" How did he know her name? Emily tried to push herself further back into her closet but she ended up knocking half her outfits off, creating a loud crash. Emily cried out, hugged Beary tight, and closed her eyes hoping that her Mommy would wake up......

* * *

Meredith groaned as she finally came to. Her eyes fluttered open but she was surprised to still find darkness.

"What?" she said hoarsely. Meredith attempted to move her hands in front of her eyes but they were tied together.

"Help!" she called. "Derek! Derek! Em-" That's when she realized. She was home with Emily when she was attacked. Meredith heart started to pound in her chest. Was she scared? Where was she?

"Emily!" Meredith screamed. "Emily it's okay honey, you can come out!" There was no answer. No movement in the house. That was very odd in this house, especially when Emily should have been home. She wasn't even sure how long she was out.

"EMILY! YOU HAVE TO ANSWER ME SWEETHEART!" Meredith yelled. "EMILY!" That's when it hit her. Was Emily even still in the house? Was she even if her own house?

"EMILY!" she screamed and started sobbing. "EMILY!.......... EMILY!........... EMILY!....... EMILY!" Her cries were soon drowned out by her sobs as she sat there shaking on the ground, immobilized by the blind fold, her legs tied together, and her hands tied together, hoping her daughter was at least safe.

* * *

Derek Shepherd felt so lucky that he had his family to come home to. He had a rough day. After Matthew had left they could not contact him. The little girl now in the morgue had absolutely no family, it was like she and Matthew never existed. Richard had him in the conference room all day trying to locate where Mr. Dole lived and trying to find out if Amanda had any other family. There was absolutely nothing. Exhausted Derek just wanted to snuggle with his daughter and wife.

Before Derek even walked through the door he knew something was wrong. It was the fact that the door was slightly open, plants on the porch were knocked over, and muffled whimpering was heard in the house. Immediately he burst through the door.

"Meredith! Emily!" he called.

"DEREK!" Derek heard Meredith cry. He ran towards the sound of her voice to find her sobbing on the living room floor. Bound by ropes and blind folded.

"Oh my god, Meredith," Derek gasped and bent down to take the blind fold off. When her eyes were revealed. They were red and puffy, tears still spilling uncontrollably. Derek began untying her arms and legs. "Meredith who did this to you?" Meredith shook her head and sat up.

"Emily," she sobbed. "She hasn't answered me... I was calling.... and..." Derek's eyes widened and his fist clenched. Before Derek could even move, Meredith sprinted towards the play room and cried out when she found it empty. "EMILY!"

"Emily princess!" Derek called while searching the kitchen. "Answer Mommy and Daddy." There was only silence besides Meredith's sobs. Derek watched as she sprinted up the stairs and towards Emily's room. Slowly he followed her but when she heard her scream in terror Derek quickened his pace. What he saw in the room made his blood boil.

Meredith was on the ground sobbing. Near her chest she clutched Beary, the one thing Emily would never leave without. She always needed Beary. She couldn't sleep without Beary. But that wasn't what made him want to rip his heart out. It was the blood that was spattered on the closet floor, but there was no one in there. Only a note taped to the wall. With shaky legs he walked over to the wall and read the note. He couldn't contain his gasp and the tears that sprung to his eyes.

"Derek," Meredith cried looking up at him. She had not noticed the note. As quick as she could she stood up and looked at the wall. Meanwhile Derek was staring forward, an unreadable expression on his face. The only thing that showed any of his emotion was the slight quiver of his lips. Her eyes scanned the note and Meredith let out a high pitched shriek.

_Shepherd's,_

_You stole my daughter away from me. Now I am returning the favor, I have yours. I don't want your money, I don't want your life. I want you both to suffer. So, you'll never see your baby girl Emily again, unless it is lifeless and cold in a coffin._

_- a friend_

"NO! NO! NO!" Meredith sobbed and collapsed on the ground again. "EMILY! MY BABY GIRL!" Derek snapped out of his trance and ran down stairs to grab the house phone and dial 911.

"Hello," the operator on the other line said. "What is your emergency?"

"You need to help us," Derek said quickly while drawing in a shaky breath. "My.... my daughter Emily.... she.... she has been kidnapped!"

"Sir, you need to calm down," she said noting his jittery behavior. "What is your name and are you sure this is a kidnapping?"

"Dr. Derek Shepherd... And Yes!" Derek yelled at her. "There's a note. My wife was attacked and tied up and he took her."

"We'll send people out to your house right away," the woman said. "What is her name?"

"Emily Elizabeth Shepherd," Derek said tears now falling down his face.

"Okay sir, just stay calm and the police will be there shortly, we'll find your daughter," the woman said and hung up.

Derek ran his fingers through his hair. This couldn't be happening. Someone couldn't have taken his little girl. But he did. And he knew who it was. Matthew Dole. He wanted to punch him in the face, he wanted to kill him. He wanted his daughter back. But Derek couldn't think straight. All he knew was he had to get to his wife. When he got to Emily's room she was leaning on the closet door, hyperventilating.

"Derek," she cried.

"I called the police Mer," Derek whispered. "Everything will be okay."

"Der... Derek... our baby girl. He has my Emily," she sobbed into his chest. Derek bit his lip and wrapped his arms around her.

"The police are coming Mer," Derek murmured. "They'll find her." Derek desperately wanted that to be true.

"We... we gotta call..." Meredith began. Derek nodded and pulled out his phone and handed it to Mer. He still had the house phone in his hand. Meredith dialed quickly and put the phone up to her ear. She was shaking and almost crying hysterically, but they needed all the help they could get.

"Hello?" Izzie said on the other line.

"Izzie," Meredith sobbed.

"Oh my god Mer!" Izzie exclaimed, "What's wrong?" Mer heard the click of a button and knew it was on speaker and at least Alex was near her.

"Em... Emily," Meredith cried.

"What's wrong with Em?" Alex asked. Meredith didn't answer for a second, she couldn't catch her breath, or form words over her cries.

"Mer?" George asked. George was over the house too.

"Someone... someone.... she's missing.... someone kidnapped her!" Meredith screamed hysterically into the phone. "My baby is gone!"

"Meredith," Izzie gasped. "Oh god..... Em! We'll be right over!"

"Who's we?" Meredith whispered.

"Cristina, Owen, George, Alex, and me," Izzie listed off quickly.

"Izzie... please hurry," Meredith sobbed, but Izzie already hung up and didn't answer. Meredith pictured her sprinting out of her old house which Meredith and Derek had let her keep once they moved out.

"Okay..." Derek sighed into the phone and then turned to Mer. "Mark's coming with Lexie, Bailey, Torres, and Arizona."

"Oh Der our baby girl!" Meredith sobbed. Derek helped her down the stairs and onto the couch. She still had Beary clutched in her arms. When the police arrived she was still curled up on the couch sobbing.

"Okay," the captain ordered most of the officers. "Spread out and search the house and the surrounding area and try to find evidence."

"There.... there is a note.... in... in... in her bedroom," Derek stuttered.

"Okay Mr. Shepherd," the officer said. "I am Officer White. I will be the head of your daughter's case. If you and your wife could follow me and my partner Officer Martin." Meredith looked up from the couch, and the woman, Officer Martin walked over to her.

"I know this is hard but we will do everything in our power to get your daughter back," she told her confidently. Meredith nodded and got up to follow them to Em's bedroom.

"I think we can conclude this is your daughter's blood," Officer White said. "But it's not enough..."

"To kill her," Derek murmured. "We know. We're surgeons." White nodded.

"Okay," he said pulling out his gloves and picked up the note carefully and put it in a sterile bag. Just then an officer came in.

"Area's secure," he told him. "No where to be found." Meredith whimpered.

"Our friends are coming over," Derek told them quietly moving closer to Mer. "Is that okay?"

"Yes," Officer Martin said. "The note seems to be the only evidence but hopefully it has his finger prints to identify him."

"We already have a clue who did it," Meredith choked out.

"Who?" White asked.

"We had a patient today. Amanda Dole. An aneurysm that burst and she bled out. Her father Matthew took it hard," Derek continued. "Vowed revenge on us too." They both nodded.

"Well we can confirm it with the fingerprints," Officer Martin reassured as they began to walk downstairs. "Are you aware of what time the kidnapping occurred?"

"Um... it was around three when I was attacked," Meredith told them in a small voice.

"So we can assume it's around then," Officer Martin nodded.

"Could we ask for a recent picture of Emily?" Officer White asked. "We are going to put out an Amber Alert and her face will be all over the news." Derek nodded and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. He handed him a picture of the three of them. They had recently just taken it in front of the monkey cages at the zoo when they went last month.

"She.... she was wearing," Derek stuttered. "A.... a... pink and purple frilly dress."

"Thank you," Officer Martin said. "May we ask how old is your daughter?"

"Two and a half," Meredith whispered. "She will be three on September 17th."

"Thank you, we have all the information we need," Officer White said.

"Now it's crucial to tell us if you get any more notes or a phone call," Officer Martin continued. "We will be in constant touch and we will inform you if we have any leads or get any spottings."

"Okay," Derek nodded pulling Mer close to him. "Thank you."

"Don't worry, we'll find her," Officer Martin reassured once more before leaving the house. Meredith started sobbing into Derek's chest once again, but as soon as the police left, Alex, Izzie, George, Cristina, Owen, Callie, Arizona, Miranda, Mark, and Lexie showed up.

"Meredith," Izzie called not bothering to ring the doorbell and running into the house. Meredith let go of Derek and allowed Izzie to take her in her arms. "Don't worry, they will find her."

"My baby girl," Meredith whimpered. "She's probably so scared. Em has never been away from either me or Derek for a long time. Only when she was in day care."

"She's strong Mer," Cristina reassured. "For a two year old. She'll be fine. The police will do their job."

"We'll all be okay," George told her as they watched Derek and Mark wallow together and turn on the TV.

"We're all here for you," Arizona added.

"She's like our daughter too," Miranda said.

"Why would he do this to us though?" Meredith murmured.

"Who?" Lexie asked.

"Der and I.... we think it was Matthew Dole," Meredith whispered.

"The man whose daughter died and he left?" Izzie asked and Mer nodded.

"I couldn't even stop him," Meredith sighed. "He attacked me, knocked me out, and tied me up. I.... I don't even know how long I was out, let alone how long I was screaming her name on the floor. For all I know he could have been listening to my cries. The could be out of the state by now too."

"He's just a sick bastard," Callie muttered. Just then beeps began coming from the television. Everyone turned towards it to see the words Amber Alert come up.

"This is an Amber Alert for Seattle and the surrounding area," the voice on the TV said. Everyone stayed quiet. "Around 3 o'clock this afternoon, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd was kidnapped from her home in Seattle Washington. Her mother was attacked and knocked unconscious and when she woke up, Emily was not there. She is a caucasian female who has dark curly hair and bright green eyes. She was last seen wearing a pink and purple dress. Emily is about 3 feet tall and weighs around 38 pounds. There is one suspect, a Matthew Dole who seemed to have a grudge against the family. If anyone has any information about Emily or Matthew please call 911 immediately. Once again, Emily Shepherd has gone missing at around 3 pm this afternoon. She is a caucasian female around 2 and half years old with dark curly brown hair and green eyes. If you have seen her, please contact police immediately.... thank you."

This was all that was needed to set Meredith off into hysterical sobs. That's when the phone rang.

"Hello," Derek choked out.

"Mr. Shepherd, it's Officer White," the officer said. "I just wanted to inform you that we have no record of any Matthew Dole is the Seattle area or in this country...." Derek put the phone on speaker. "But... the prints on the note matched a Jason Hartley from Atlanta Georgia...."

"GEORGIA!" Meredith screamed while Izzie, Cristina, and Lexie attempted to calm her down, although tears were running down everyone's faces.

"Well are we turning...." Derek began.

"I'm afraid I have bad news...." Officer White explained. "We almost know for a fact that Mr. Hartley will not go back to Georgia, not only because he has an alias, Matthew Dole, but he is wanted there..."

"For what?" Derek murmured.

"You won't like this...." White cautioned.

"He was charged with child abuse and... rape in 2008, but escaped from prison in 2009. From there he went to his house, murdered his ex-wife, Janice, and stole his daughter Amanda....."

* * *

Emily's eyes fluttered open and she let out a soft moan. Her eyes darted around her surroundings. She was in the back of a car she did not recognize because it was not her Mommy's SUV or her Daddy's Land Rover. She was scared. Also, her head hurt really bad.

"Mommy, Daddy," she whimpered fearfully as a shadow loomed in front of her. It was him, the man who was chasing after her and hurt Emily's mommy. The last thing Emily remembered was shutting her eyes in terror, then blackness.

"You're Mommy and Daddy aren't here," the voice hissed. Emily cringed as it turned around fully to the back seat. He was parked on the side of a deserted road. "And you'll never see them again."

"Why?" she cried. "I want my Mommy and Daddy."

"They aren't your Mommy and Daddy anymore," he snapped and grabbed her arm. Emily let out a wail. "SHUT UP!" He slapped her across the face making Emily cry out and tremble in fear. "Tell me your name..."

"Emily........ Elizabeth......... Shepherd," Emily whimpered, her voice shaking.

"Wrong!" he screamed and slapped her again. "That's not your name. It will never be your name again!" Emily pushed herself against the seat in fear. "You're new name is Hope Andrews! My name is Greg Andrews! But you...." he hissed grabbing her face and turning it towards him. "You call me daddy." Emily made no response. "UNDERSTAND!" He threw her head against the seat. Emily nodded. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" he slapped her face yet again.

"Yes," she wailed.

"Yes... YES WHAT?" Jason screamed and grabbed both of her arms tightly making her squirm in his grasp.

"Yes daddy!" she sobbed and started shaking. Jason threw her back.

"Good," he said curtly. "Let's go." All Emily or 'Hope' could think of is.... go where?

* * *

**I don't really have to say much about this.....**

**Do you like it or not?????? Should I continue???????**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

_"He was charged with child abuse and... rape in 2008, but escaped from prison in 2009. From there he went to his house, murdered his ex-wife, Janice, and stole his daughter Amanda....."_

"Derek," Meredith whimpered and moved closer to him.

"Have you heard anyhting yet?" Derek asked immediately, drawing his arm around Mer's shaking body.

"No, I am sorry Dr. Shepherd," Officer White said solemnly. "But, there is a small chance he is still in the Seattle area, especially since the Amber Alert is out, so we decided to expand it to all of Washington."

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Derek questioned.

"Dr. Shepherd," he said. "We have everything under control. All you and the Mrs. have to worry about is notifying us if you receive any other notes from Mr. Hartley or concerning Emily at all, or phone calls of any kind."

"Okay," Derek said dully. "Thanks." With that he hung up.

"Derek," Meredith sobbed into his chest. "He.... he abused and raped his own daughter, and now... now he has.... and he can.... Emily! My little Em!" Derek looked at his family sadly. They were all upset about this. Emily was their little girl as much as she was there's. She was the family's baby for the time being and now she was gone. That is when Derek remembered he hadn't called his family yet, the Shepherd's.

"Could you," he said meeting Izzie and Cristina's eyes. They both nodded and took Meredith from him. Right away, Mark following, Derek went to the kitchen and dialed his mother's phone number.

"Hello," Carolyn Shepherd answered.

"Hi Mom," Derek murmured.

"Derek," she exclaimed. "It's so great to hear from you... and I was thinking... since it's almost the summer and you have more time off, maybe for a week you, Meredith, and Emily..."

"Mom," Derek interrupted. Immediately she could tell something was wrong.

"Derek, what's wrong?"

"Someone... Emily.... Emily.... she... she was kidnapped," Derek choked out.

"Oh my... Em.... Oh my god Derek!" Carolyn gasped. "Who?"

"We.... we had a patient that we lost," Derek whispered. "Her father..."

"I'm coming out right away," she told him.

"I just..." Derek stuttered. "Mom... my little, my little girl... my Emily... she's gone."

"Derek, you have to...."

"I... I don't know," Derek said, tearing up.

"Derek you can't lose hope," Carolyn said before he could finish. "I will be out by tomorrow morning."

"Thanks...." Derek murmured leaning against the wall. "Could you... could you call the girls?"

"Of course sweetheart," Carolyn sighed.

"Bye," Derek muttered by the time the real tears came and hung up. Derek ran his fingers through his hair.

"Derek," Mark said. "It will be okay..."

"How do you know," he murmured and started to walk back to the living room where he heard Mer sobbing.

"There.... there has to... to be something we can do," she cried.

"Mer," he heard Lexie say. "We have to let the police do their job."

"But my little girl is out there... with that... with that bastard... he could hurt her," Meredith cried.

"We just have to pray he doesn't," Miranda sighed.

"We can get through this and Em will be fine," Izzie said confidently. Meredith looked up and saw Derek.

"Our baby," she whispered.

"Will be okay, we have to believe that," Derek murmured in her ear. "Let the police work and we will have our little girl back soon."

* * *

_The Next Day....._

"Hope," Jason hissed pointing at the terrified little girl in the back seat. "We are leaving this car. You will do exactly what I say!"

"Yes daddy," Emily whimpered pushing herself against the leather seat in the car. They were now in Oregon. With each passing minute, Emily wanted her Mommy and Daddy more, she got even more scared, and wondered if she would ever see her family again. She wanted her Uncle Mark to pick her up and swing her around. She wanted her Aunt Izzie to bake her muffins or her Aunt Cristina letting her use her stethoscope. Emily wanted the sweets that were always in her Uncle George's pockets and Aunt Lexie's smooth hair to play with. Emily wanted to be Emily again, not Hope.

"You will hold my hand and walk into that building," he said pointing outside to the building that had a bunch of machines making noise. "You won't make a peep unless I address you, you won't go anywhere I don't tell you to go, and you won't look suspicious. You are my daughter now, not those other people's. And you never will again." Emily nodded as 'Greg' got out of the car and went to the back seat.

Harshly he grabbed her little hand and pulled her out. His grip on it made Emily was to cry out in pain but Jason instilled too much fear on her for her to disobey. She had to fight the urge to cry. Even though she wasn't sure where she was going, Emily new she was going far away from her old Mommy and Daddy. She wanted to be with them, not her new Daddy.

When they entered the building, Emily looked up, fear evident in her big green eyes. She tried not to show it, but this place was so strange. Jason pulled her closer to a desk that was on the opposite side of the room. She felt like she was slowly shrinking as Jason started speaking.

"Hello ma'am," he said sweetly, smiling at the women. The women nodded back and looked down at Emily lovingly.

"You have a gorgeous little daughter," he said. "What's your name sweetie?" Emily stayed silent and tried not to flinch as Jason squeezed her hand.

"Sorry," Jason apologized. "Hope is a little shy." He smiled down at Emily.

"Well she is beautiful," the women said. "Now what can I help you with?"

"I would like two tickets for Flight 25," he said grabbing his wallet.

"A little last minute there..." she said cautiously. "You will barely have any time to check your bags and go through security."

"We'll manage, we don't have any bags," Jason shrugged. The women narrowed her eyes suspiciously and looked down at Emily. "Our house and everything was destroyed in a fire, my wife.... she didn't make it," he lied. Emily whimpered.

"I am so sorry for your loss," the women murmured sympathetically. She started typing into a computer. "You're in luck, there are two seats left in Coach, is that all right with you?"

"Yes, thank you," he said pulling out his wallet. Emily looked up at the two people talking. Her new daddy's hand was still grasping hers tightly. If only it wasn't. Her eyes darted around the large room. There were so many people there she could easily find a place to hide, but his hand was still holding hers.

"Thank you for choosing our airline," the women said at last. "Hope you enjoy your flight and here..." she motioned towards Hope with a lollipop. "This is for you." Emily timidly reached up for it.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice shaking. Jason pulled her away from the desk and around a corner where no one could see. Emily had started to unwrap the lollipop and put it in her mouth but her ripped it out. Emily started to shake with fear.

"Way too go you little shit," he exclaimed throwing the lollipop down the hall. Emily whimpered just before he slapped her in the face, hard. Emily started crying. "SHUT UP!" Emily couldn't stop crying so Jason had a firm grip on her shoulders and bent down to her eye level. "If you do anything to make anyone suspicious I will kill you and all of your old family. I am not kidding around... I have killed before..." Emily nodded fearfully.

"Y-yes daddy," she whispered and allowed him to take her hand. Instead, he grabbed her and picked her up. Now scared again, Emily started crying. She wasn't sure why he picked now to carry her. Scowling, Jason walked back over to the desk.

"Oh my, what happened?" the women who he spoke to earlier asked, noting Emily's swollen face.

"She was running away from me, tripped, then fell," Jason explained.

"Does she need any ice, I am sure we can get some," the women said. Jason looked at the clock.

"I am sure she is fine, we can get some on the plane, otherwise we will be late," Jason said dismissively. He only did that so it wasn't suspicious that Emily was crying. Emily stayed quiet as Jason got into a long line. She was still in his arms. It took a good half hour to get through the security line. All the while the loud noise that Emily heard was getting louder and louder. She never heard it before.

He then proceeded through a long hallway an semi outside onto a platform, then into a machine that had many seats. Jason placed her in one and sat next to her. A voice above started speaking.

"Flight 25 is departing from Oregon to Philadelphia. Please fasten your seat belts and enjoy your flight. Thank you," the voice said. Emily looked up confused as Jason buckled her seat belt. Her confusion was replaced by fear as the plane started. Emily started whimpering but that changed into a scream as the plane took off into the sky. Emily was right. She was going a long way from home.

* * *

"Derek," Carolyn Shepherd called as she entered her son's house. She had a suitcase filled to the maximum. She was willing to stay as long as her son and daughter in law needed her too. The first thing she saw when she entered the house was several of Meredith and Derek's friends sprawled out on the couch, exhausted. Despite the fact that it was already noon, everyone looked like they were up until two in the morning or later.

The next thing she saw was a pile of fliers. They had a picture of Emily, description, and any information needed on a lost flier. The last thing she saw broke her heart. It was Derek and Meredith at the kitchen table staring at a computer screen, coffee in their hands, Beary on the table. They were both oblivious to her arrival, but she could see what had them distracted. It was a picture of Emily and a man Carolyn presumed was the suspect on the Amber Alert site.

"Derek," she sighed. Derek and Meredith's head whipped around immediately. Carolyn's eyes softened. It hadn't been a day yet the two looked like crap.

"Ma," Derek murmured, stood up, and embraced his mother.

"Oh Derek," Carolyn sighed. "It's alright, I am here now, and Emily will be okay."

"I love you," Derek whispered, acting as if he didn't here any mention of his daughter. Meredith had not gotten up so Carolyn turned to her next. It didn't take long for her to embrace her daughter in law.

"Mom," Meredith whimpered. "He has her, he has Emily."

"I know sweetheart," Carolyn said. "But you will get her back. You have the police, your friends, your family, and me helping."

"He killed his wife," Meredith whispered as they broke apart, her voice cracking in grief. "He killed her for his daughter so he could rape her, just like he raped her before." Carolyn gasped. Derek had not mentioned this on the phone.

"Meredith," she sighed rubbing her arm gently. "The police are looking for him. The FBI too, you can't give up hope... they will find her in no time."

"How do you know?" Meredith murmured, sinking into Derek's embrace who had come from behind her.

"I just know," Carolyn said forcefully. "I know that our family will be okay and I know we will find Em. I know we have to believe that or there is no way we could go on living."

"Okay," Meredith nodded.

"Now..." Carolyn said making Meredith look up. "We need to wake up your friends, get those fliers out there, and get this house clean so Emily will have a welcoming environment to come home to." Meredith smiled weakly. The first time since she had come back into consciousness. "Why don't you get some rest."

"Maybe later," Derek answered. "Let's get those lumps off the couch first." Within a few minutes everyone was awake. Miranda, Arizona, and Callie were returning to the hospital, fliers in hand, Izzie and Lexie started making food, while everyone else was just trying to busy Meredith and Derek. That is when the phone rang at around 3 o'clock.

"I'll get it," Derek announced as the house got eerily quiet. Derek put the phone on speaker before answering.

"Hello Dr. Shepherd, this is Officer White, we have great news and not so great news pertaining to Emily," Officer White said.

"And..." Derek led on as Meredith ran towards the phone.

"You're daughter has been spotted," the officer said.

"Oh thank god," Meredith cried.

"Wait..." Officer White said. "I wasn't finished." Meredith fell silent, lacing her hand with Derek's and looking at her family with hope in her eyes.. "She was spotted in the back seat of Mr. Hartley's car at a toll booth going into Oregon. At that time the alert had not been all over Washington yet but the person had recognized Emily and Jason afterwards."

"But... but... so he is in Oregon with... with Em," Meredith whispered crestfallen.

"Is the alert going..." Derek began but Officer White interrupted.

"Wait..." he said and it fell silent again. "That car was found at Portland International Airport."

"What... what," Meredith murmured, squeezing Derek's hand.

"A worker inside said that she had sold them both tickets to Philadelphia," Officer White muttered solemnly. They could be anywhere by then.

"What does..." Derek began but trailed off as he felt Meredith's grip slacken on his. He turned around just in time to see his wife fall to the floor. "MEREDITH!"

* * *

**I don't really have to say much about this..... again.... so Philadelphia.....  
**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

_"What does..." Derek began but trailed off as he felt Meredith's grip slacken on his. He turned around just in time to see his wife fall to the floor. "MEREDITH!"_

Derek bent down immediately attempting to revive his wife.

"Mer," he said urgently. "Mer." Carolyn came over. "Wake up honey."

"Derek, talk to the police, I will take care of her," she murmured as Alex helped pick Mer up and bring her to the couch. Derek took the phone of speaker and picked it up again.

"Hello, you still there," he muttered, the life now out of his voice.

"Yes I am," Officer White said. "I would like to discuss the next steps we have to take in order to get Emily back."

"Okay," Derek breathed. She took a glance over to the couch. Lexie, Cristina, Izzie, and Carolyn were bent over Meredith with a cold towel. Alex, Mark, George, and Owen were all looking towards him.

"Since we can conclude they are now in another state the search goes over to them," the officer began. "That also means that the Amber Alert will switch as well. We have officers waiting now, and hopefully will catch the plane before it lands. If they don't, the same thing will happen. Emily's face and his will be all over the news, in the newspaper, and on the Amber Alert site."

"Do... do you think that will work," Derek asked. "He may not have had a disguise on him or her in Oregon but.... he is smart enough now. We don't even know if what he looks like now is what he really looks like. His appearance we have could be a disguise for all we know."

"Dr. Shepherd, just leave that to us, okay," Officer White said.

"Okay," Derek murmured. "Thanks for calling..... bye." Derek hung up and looked towards the couch again.

"Der... Der..." he heard Meredith whimper. Immediately he rushed over.

"I'm right here Mer," Derek reassured.

"Em.... Philly..... she..... he.... no," Meredith cried.

"Shhh," Derek murmured. "Take deep breaths.... and just relax..."

"How can I?" Meredith whispered. "He has our little girl... they are in Philly. She never was on a plane before..... she is probably so scared."

"Mer, the police are going to the airport right now. Unless the plane landed, they won't even let Em off the plane with him.... she could be ours again in a couple of hours," Derek told her.

"R-really," Meredith stuttered sitting up. "She could be...."

"She could be on her way home now," Derek whispered.

"Wait...." Meredith said. "You said.... unless the plane already landed."

"They aren't sure what time they got on the plane," Derek muttered.

"But there's a chance," Meredith said looking around at her family. "But there's a chance that she could be back here..... back here in a few hours..."

"Yes baby," Derek murmured. "There is."

"Then we have to step up the house cleaning," Carolyn exclaimed. "This house got destroyed from your all nighter last night."

"I hope you don't mind if I rest," Meredith said.

"Of course," she said sympathetically. Meredith walked into the kitchen grabbed Beary and went upstairs.

"Derek, do you think...." Mark said.

"I hope," Derek answered.

"What if...." Cristina began. Derek looked up with tears in his eyes.

"I don't know..." he whispered.

* * *

Emily Shepherd looked into the mirror at the little girl staring back at her. It wasn't Emily Shepherd. It didn't look like Emily Shepherd. Emily Shepherd has dark brown curly hair with bright green emerald eyes. The girl staring back at her had bright blue eyes and curly red hair. The girl staring back at her was Hope Andrews, not Emily Shepherd.

"Hope," Jason hissed, making Emily jump and spin around. There he stood, no longer with brown hair, but red hair like hers. "Come on."

"Yes daddy," Emily whispered. She let him grab her hand harshly, and walk out of the bathroom into the terminal of Philadelphia International Airport. The ride over there was terrible. She had been terrified and wailed constantly. This only made Jason angrier because all eyes were on him, everyone sympathetic to the scared girl 'Hope.' He then proceeded to soothe her and when she was only whimpering started whispering harshly in her ear.

_Jason frowned as the little girl he kidnapped wailed in the seat next to him._

_"Hope," he said his voice tight. "It's okay." The people in front of him turned around._

_"Oh the poor thing," the man murmured sympathetically. "What is her name?"_

_"Hope," Jason answered curtly. The women smiled at Hope.  
_

_"Is this Hope's first time on a plane?" she said. Emily nodded her head fearfully.  
_

_"Yes," Jason answered. Jason wrapped his arms around her and started rubbing her back. In a few minutes the sobs and screams were calmed down to whimpers. Now that the attention was off of them Jason decided to bend down and whisper harshly in her ear.  
_

_"Listen kid," he hissed. "Do anything like this again, and your dead. And your all old family is dead too." Emily nodded her head fearfully ad tried to stop her quivering lip._

"Don't say a word," Jason hissed at her as they started to walk towards the entrance. Emily looked around, there were a lot of people there, dressed in blue uniforms.

"Excuse me sir," one officer said. Jason's eyes widened in slight fear but hid it easily.

"Yes officer, how can I help you?" he asked.

"Did you just come off of the flight from Oregon?" he asked.

"No, we did not, we came off of the one from Florida... why?" Jason said with a straight face. The officer looked down at Emily and then back up. This made Emily squirm uncomfortably. She hoped he would recognize her.

"Oh... well there was a young girl, about your daughter's age reported kidnapped from the Seattle area. She was then seen in Oregon going on an airplane with... this man..." he showed him a picture of himself with brown hair, brown eyes, except now he had green eyes, red hair, and glasses. "This is the young girl." He showed him a picture of Emily which made Emily want to scream. It was her, just, she didn't look like herself. "Her name is Emily Shepherd, have you seen her or him?"

"No I haven't sorry," Jason said. "But I will keep a look out."

"What about you...." the officer asked bending down beside Emily.

"Hope," Jason said his voice tight.

"Hope, have you seen the little girl?" the officer asked in a nice voice. Emily didn't answer. If she did she knew she would scream and then get hit by Jason.

"Sorry officer," Jason apologized. "Hope's a little shy... but she hasn't been out of my sight since we got here."

"Okay, well thank you for your time," the officer said. "If you see him or her, call the Amber Alert hot line or 911."

"Will do," Jason said sweetly. He tugged on Emily's hand and pulled her out the door. and around the corner. Immediatley he slappe dher face making her cry out.

"Way to go, that couldn't have been any more suspicious....your name is not Emily, that is not you anymore..." he screamed. "Your name is Hope until I tell you otherwise. Your hair is red, you keep the blue contacts in, and you can't look shocked if you see your old self... UNDERSTOOD!"

"Yes daddy," she wailed.

"Good," he hissed. "Let's go!" He pulled her out around the alley and towards a bus. He paid, and sat her down.

"Oh," the women said from next to them. "You're daughter is so adorable!"

"Thank you," Jason said pulling Emily onto his lap.

"What is her name?" she asked.

"Hope," Jason answered.

"Her eyes are just stunning, she must get them from your wife seeing as you have green eyes, but her hair color is definitely yours," she gushed. Emily whimpered.

"Thank you, but we don't like to talk of her mother," Jason said.

"Oh... I am so sorry," the women said.

"It's okay," Jason said.

"Wait," she said and started digging through her purse. "How old are you sweetie?"

"2," Emily answered looking up at Jason who nodded in approval.

"Then for being two your can have two candies," she said handing them out to her to take.

"No tank you," Emily whispered. "Daddy said me not allowed to have candy."

"I am sure he will allow it," the women said smiling at Jason.

"You can eat it Hope," Jason said. "I won't mind... you deserve it." Emily's hand shook as she took the candies.

"Tank you," she murmured and unwrapped one.

"Your so well behaved," the women continued. Emily ducked her head into her chest, afraid what Jason would do to her after. Jason lifted her off his lap when the bus stopped and started to walk off the bus.

"Bye Hope," the women said sweetly. Emily just waved her hand and followed Jason off the bus and onto the streets of Philly. They were in front of a hotel.

"Come on," he muttered and pulled her towards the building.

"Where dis?" she asked.

"A hotel," Jason said. "This is where we will be living." This was the first time Jason mentioned anything about living anywhere. The only place she wanted to live was her large house on her real daddy's land. The house that looked out of the cliff with the breathtaking view, was next to the woods, and in front of the lake.

"Kay," she whispered and allowed him to pull her into the hotel and up to the front desk.

"Hello, welcome to the Best Western Hotel, how may I help you," the lady at the front desk said smiling down at Emily.

"Me and my daughter just got into town and need a place to stay, for about a month, maybe more," Jason said.

"Okay...." she said and began typing into a computer. "We have a room open on the top floor, is that okay?"

"Yes," Jason said and began working everything out. He had to let go of Emily's hand but obediently, she sat down on the floor at his feet. Once everything was set up Jason brought her upstairs and slipped the key card in the slot. Emily's eyes widened at the room. It wasn't even as big as her bed room and her 'daddy' said that they would be living in it.

Then she realized Jason was in front of her and instinctively shut her eyes, waiting for his hand to come in contact with her face. It never came.

"What are you doing?" he asked. Emily's eyes opened confused.

"Me talked," she whimpered. "You told me not too..."

"You didn't seem scared, it's fine," he shrugged and walked over to the TV and put the news on.

_"The young girl Emily Shepherd was found no where in the terminal. The search now must go on outside," a reporter said from the Philadelphia airport._

_"Thanks...." the next reporter said. "Here is Emily's picture and her kidnapper Jason." On the screen flashed two faces. "If you recognize either one of them please contact the police.__" _

Jason shut of the TV as Emily approached him.

"Go to sleep you little brat," he hissed before she could say anything. Too scared to do anything else, Emily obeyed.

* * *

"But... but... but... you said," Meredith sobbed as she just woke up from her nap. Officer White's recent phone call was what woke her. He had said that Emily was not found and the search was not progressing. Later Richard had called and expressed his sympathy. Then he gave Meredith and Derek two weeks off to look and wait for her.

"I told you that the plane could have touched down before the police arrived. The time differences Mer," Derek sighed, his own tears flowing.

"But..." she cried.

"Meredith," Izzie said. "All of the police officers in Philadelphia are looking for Em."

"But they were here too," Meredith sobbed.

"But he had time to run, he doesn't there," Lexie added.

"But she is probably so scared, she had never been on a plane before, let alone in a new place without us," she whimpered.

"There were some people on the plane that recognized them once shown their picture," Derek reassured. "They have pictures on the security cameras of them.... they are doing everything possible to find her."

"What happens if its not enough," Meredith cried into his chest. Derek comforted her along with all of her friends but there was one problem. That was their fear too...

* * *

**I don't really have to say much about this..... yet again... sorry that this is such a sad and heart breaking fic, for some reason I can't seem to make a happy one ;)  
**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

_One week later..._

"Mommy... Daddy..." Emily whimpered as she opened her eyes to the new room. She flinched when she saw the shadow of a raised hand and it slapped against her cheek.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU!" he screamed making Emily cower in the bed when she looked up to see her kidnapper. "YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!"

"Okay," Emily cried out in fear as she clutched the pillow that her head was on.

"Listen," he hissed. "I will have no more of this crying business. It's not my fault your precious Mommy and Daddy left you with me." Emily's eyes widened at his words. "They didn't want you anymore... neither did the rest of your family... so why don't you just shut up and stop whining because you are stuck with me now."

"Okay," Emily whimpered, her lip trembling.

"Get up," he barked. "We're going shopping." The neighbors in the hotel were beginning to become suspicious. Emily really only had two outfits. The one she was wearing the day she was kidnapped and a shirt he bought at the airport for her.

"Kay," Emily whispered and swung her tiny legs over the bed and onto the floor.

"Okay what?" Jason led on. Emily looked up at him confused. "OKAY DADDY!" he screamed making Emily fall back in terror.

"Okay daddy," Emily cried as Jason wrenched her off the ground. He held her down as he forced the blue contacts into her eyes. He then proceeded to harshly put the bald cap over her hair and placed the red haired wig on her.

"Perfect," he said, put his own contacts in, and left the hotel room, Emily's hand still securely in his.

"Hello Hope, Hello Greg," a woman named Gina said, her husband right behind her. They had a room two doors down and they both were constantly trying to be friendly to the two of them. "What are you two doing today?" She bent down and smiled at Emily. Jason pulled Emily closer.

"Well now that we are all settled we thought we would finally go shopping. The two of us really only have two outfits since everything was destroyed in the fire, isn't that right Hopie," Jason said with a smile. Emily only nodded her head.

"Oh," Gina exclaimed. "Why don't we go with you. Me and Tom don't have anything to do today."

"That is not necessary," Jason muttered.

"Oh yes it is," Gina insisted. "Hope, although she loves her Daddy, needs a mother figure and needs a woman to help pick out her clothes."

"But..." Jason began.

"She won't take no for an answer Greg," Tom laughed and patted him on the back.

"Fine," Jason sighed, knowing he had to say yes or risk looking suspicious. "What do you say Hope?"

"Tank ou," Emily whispered and looked up at Gina.

"Where were you planning on going?" Gina asked.

"Well I am not sure," Jason shrugged. "I guess it is a good thing you are here then." Jason forced a fake smile. Gina laughed and held her hand out to Emily. She looked up at her 'daddy' fearfully who nodded. Timidly, Em let go of his hand and took Gina's, finally feeling safe for the first time in a week.

* * *

"Mer," Derek murmured to his sleeping wife's form on the couch. That is where she has slept for the past seven days. The phones were accessed easier there then their bedroom.

"What?" Meredith answered groggily, her eyes opening. "Did... did they..." Derek shook his head sadly.

"No... nothing," Derek whispered defeated.

"But.... but... it's been a week... a week without... without my Em," Mer whimpered.

"Shhh," Derek soothed. "It'll be okay."

"How can you say that," Meredith snapped. "Our daughter... she is with this murderer... a rapist. And you think it will be okay. She's only two and a half!"

"I know Mer," Derek sighed.

"No you don't know," Meredith hissed. "You didn't carry her in your uterus for nine fucking months... she was never a part of you..."

"But she is a part of my life," Derek growled, his voice starting to rise.

"She was my world!" Meredith screamed.

"Well she was my fucking world too!" Derek yelled.

"What in the world is going on in here?"

Meredith and Derek froze. They forgot that Carolyn Shepherd was still staying in their house.

"Nothing Mom," Meredith whispered and turned away from Derek.

"Mer..." Derek sighed.

"I'm sorry," Meredith interrupted. "It's just... she's my little girl. I feel... I feel like I lost a part of me. And I won't ever be able to find it if I never find my baby girl." Derek took his wife in his arms.

"I feel the same way," Derek murmured into her hair.

"I... I haven't felt this empty... empty... since I met you. Since you gave me my beautiful daughter," Meredith whimpered.

"Shhh," Derek soothed. "Remember when she was born?" Meredith smiled, or came as close to a smile as she could.

_"Paternity leave is a real thing and I am taking it Richard," Derek growled. "Mer has been having Braxton Hicks a lot, including today so..."  
_

_"Derek," Meredith giggled and put her hand on her swollen stomach._

_"You have Nelson.... yes I am better but I am being there for my son and wife..." Derek continued._

_"Daughter," Meredith called._

_"Yes so we will have a Derek Christopher Shepherd Jr...." Derek chuckled.  
_

_"Or an Emily Elizabeth Shepherd," Meredith added. Derek glared at her playfully._

_"Yes, or an Emily Elizabeth Shepherd," Derek surrendered. Derek continued to argue with Richard when Meredith let out a gasp and grasped the kitchen counter._

_"Derek," she hissed. Derek was not paying any attention. _

_"Thank you Richard I..." Derek began but Meredith interrupted._

_"DEREK!" Mer screeched. Derek's head whipped around. "The Braxton Hicks.... well they were real!"_

_"Oh.... oh my god," Derek gasped. "Richard... get Izzie or Alex and tell them the babies coming and send an intern to wait outside." In a flash Derek hung up the phone and ran upstairs to start packing._

_"Derek," Meredith moaned._

_"Mer... just hold on... breath," he called running down the steps. Seeing Derek flustered made Mer giggle slightly until another contraction came. _

_"Derek... hurry," Meredith growled. Derek whisked her off to the car and they were at Seattle Grace in the span of a half an hour. As Derek helped Meredith stand up his shoes got increasingly wet. "My water broke...." Derek smiled._

_"Derek Jr's coming," Derek said._

_"Derek," Meredith spat. "Don't test me right now.... Emily Elizabeth..." The intern waiting with the wheelchair's eyes widened as Meredith sat down. By the time Meredith was up to the maternity floor she was practically screaming._

_"Here we are Mer," Derek said as Izzie came into view._

_"Hey... let's get you ready to meet your baby," Izzie said and got Mer settled and began examining her. "Your fully dilated.. time to start pushing."_

_"Thank god," Derek sighed._

_"What's that supposed to mean," Meredith snapped. Derek's face turned white as Izzie cracked a smile._

_"Okay Mer.... give me a big push," Izzie said. Meredith bent down and let out an agonizing scream._

_"Derek Shepherd we are never having sex AGAIN!" Meredith screamed. Derek frowned as Izzie started laughing. _

_"Your almost there Mer," Derek sighed and kissed her head. _

_"One more push and the head will be out," Izzie said."Push..." Meredith grasped Derek's hand tightly, making him wince, and pushed. Once the head was out Mer collapsed on the bed._

_"Iz... get his baby out of me," she groaned. _

_"He's your baby too," Derek said, the shook his head, immediately remembering how hormonal she was._

_"Not when she __is causing me pain Derek Christopher fucking Shepherd," Meredith spat._

_"Okay Mer," Derek murmured and placed another kiss on her head while meeting Izzie's amused gaze._

_"Shoulders now Mer... and the babies got Derek's hair," Izzie laughed. "Push..." It took two more pushes and the baby was fully out. A wail filled the air as Iz cut the umbilical cord.  
_

_"It's a girl," she told them as she placed her in Meredith's arms._

_"A girl," Derek murmured._

_"Emily," Meredith said in awe, looking down at her beautiful daughter._

_"Emily Elizabeth Shepherd, my princess," Derek sighed._

_"Welcome to the world Em," Meredith whispered to the tiny baby, running her fingers through the mess of dark curls on top of her head. "I'm your Mommy."  
_

"That was the happiest day of our life," Meredith sighed.

"We'll always have those memories," Derek murmured. Meredith frowned and tears threatened to spill again. "What's wrong?"

"I... I don't want her to be just a memory," Meredith whimpered.

"We'll find her..." Derek reassured stroking her hair. "And as long as we love her... she'll never be a memory. She'll always be in our hearts."

"In our hearts," Meredith repeated softly.

* * *

"Hope, are you excited about your new clothes?" Gina asked as she walked out of the mall, her hand still in hers. Behind her Jason scowled.

"Yeah," Emily giggled.

"That's good, your gonna look so pretty... and you can swim in your new bathing suit with your swimmies," Gina gushed.

"Tank ouu," Emily said.

"Well..." Jason interrupted, making Emily jump. "It's been a great day but I want to go out to the grocery store with Em- Hope then return back. I guess we will see you guys later."

"Okay," Gina surrendered letting go of Emily's hand. Jason grabbed it harshly and pulled her close. "I had a great time... bye Greg, bye Hope." Tom said goodbye as well and the two went on the bus and back towards the hotel.

"Come on," Jason said gruffly and pulled Emily to walk towards a grocery store. They walked a few blocks silently until Emily's feet began dragging and her pace slackened.

"What's wrong now?" Jason spat.

"Me tired," Emily whispered fearfully.

"Too bad," he hissed. "Your walking..."

"Me legs hurted dough," Emily whimpered.

"Come on," he growled and continued to pull her. Emily whimpered but obeyed as she was pulled through the streets of Philly. Even in the grocery store Emily walked beside him, even though he had a cart.

"Me legs hurted," Emily whined again.

"Shut up you brat," Jason hissed quietly so other couldn't hear him.

"Me tired," Emily cried.

"Stop it," he said.

"Me wanna go home," Emily whimpered.

"Hope Nicole Andrews, stop this at once," Jason growled, using the name he put on the fake birth certificate. Emily saw many other people looking at her and started to get scared. She wanted one of them to be her Mommy or Daddy or Uncle Mark or any of her family.

"Me scared," she sobbed and began to throw a screaming tantrum.

"Hope," Jason warned but she kept crying. She sat on the ground and wouldn't stop. Jason picked her up.

"No," Emily wailed. "NO NO NO NO NO!"

"Hope Nicole Andrews," Jason screamed as he saw all eyes on him and his 'daughter.' Angrily he stormed out of the store, leaving his cart, and hopped on the nearest bus. He stayed silent the entire ride, gritting his teeth, Emily was still crying, quieter now, into his chest. When they arrived at the hotel he went up to their floor, opened their room, and sat Emily on the bed. Jason locked the door and turned towards her. Emily was still crying but as he approached her she looked up. As soon as she did that his hand cracked again her face. Em let out a terrified wail.

Angered, Jason grabbed her face harshly and pulled her close.

"You will never, ever do that again, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" he screamed and threw her back on the bed. "DO YOU!"

"Yes," she cried. Jason picked up her arm and threw her across the room.

"STOP CRYING!" he yelled and kicked her in the stomach once. Emily couldn't stop so he kicked her again. Emily started to cough and whimper. he picked her up again and slammed her onto the bed. He started to unbuckle his pants but looked down at the little girl. She had a cut on her cheek and a big red mark. Her body was shaking uncontrollably and her face was stained with tears. Jason sighed and rebuckled them. He had a lifetime to do what he really wanted to do with her, when she was older.

"Your lucky brat," he hissed and threw her off the bed once more. "Time to go to bed." Emily nodded, her lip trembling and attempted to climb back up on the bed. Jason only knocked her off and she fell back on the ground. "You sleep there now." Emily nodded and settled on the floor. her new daddy hurt her, and scared her terribly. She wanted her old daddy back.

* * *

**See... I am not completely cruel. Okay yes he is still hitting her but... the man's a nut job...  
**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

"SHUT IT!" Jason growled as he punched Emily in the stomach, making her cry out in pain. Her little pink cast that was on her arm was clutched fearfully to her body. By now Jason was an expert at keeping Emily quiet and keeping himself quiet when he was hitting her.

For the past month this had became a daily routine. Emily would cry for her parents when she woke up, Jason would beat her, and Emily would stop. Luckily, by now Emily knew not to cry out as loudly when he beat her. It only made him beat her harder. This was a painful lesson for Emily in the beginning when it was hard for her to remember all his rules.

Jason no longer let her go out of the room. In the beginning he kept to hitting her in the stomach where her bathing suit was able to cover it but soon it got to hard to control where he hit her. Also, Gina had gotten way too persistent with letting Emily out. For an excuse, Jason chased her out of the room, acting like they were having fun, and towards the steps. Emily had tripped and fallen down, breaking her arm.

Now Emily was no longer allowed in the pool and Jason was playing 'protective' father. After one of his beating sessions, Jason would usually lock her in the room and sneak out of the hotel so there wasn't suspected child abandonment. Just like normal, Emily watched as Jason shut the door. She was alone for a long time until the door creaked open. She tried to remember what Jason said to do when someone came in and he wasn't there. The only thing the two and a half your old could think of was hide.

"Mommy," she whimpered slightly as she crawled under the bed as she pushed herself into the corner. "Daddy." She wanted them. "Unca Mark." She wanted her family. "Aunt Wex... Aunt Iz.... Unca Aex." She wanted anyone but Jason.

_"I heard there's a birthday girl in here," Emily heard a voice boom through her house while she was in her play room. Her eyes immediately widened. _

_"UNCA MARK!" Emily squealed and as fast as her legs could carry her, Emily ran into the foyer. Then she spotted her Aunt as well. "Aunt Wex."_

_"There's my girl," Mark smiled as Emily launched herself into his arms._

_"Unca Mark... me 2 now," Em giggled holding up two fingers. _

_"Yes you're very big," Lexie laughed._

_"Me sooooo big," Em told them stretching her arms up._

_"So big that I can't do this?" Mark questioned. He dipped his arms and flipped her around once before placing her on his shoulder. Emily squealed in delight._

_"Mark," Meredith warned as she walked up to them. "Be careful."_

_"Hey Mer," Lexie smiled as hugged her sister._

_"What's up Grey," Mark laughed as Emily started swinging her legs._

_"Unca Mark... why you call Mommy Grey?" Em asked._

_"Cause that's her name... or last name," Mark shrugged._

_"She Shepherd like me," Emily tilted her head. She didn't finish her thought as the door opened again._

_"Woah baby," a new voice said. "Are you sure that's Emily Iz... I thought she was only two today but she is so tall." Emily's head whipped around._

_"UNCA AEX! AUNT IZ!" Emily giggled._

_"Emily Elizabeth Shepherd," Meredith warned. "We're inside and that means inside voice."_

_"Ugh, protective Momma syndrome," Cristina groaned walking through the door, Owen, George, Callie, Arizona, Miranda, and Richard._

_"Shut up Cristina," Izzie rolled her eyes. "How could you not be protective of this little heart breaker." By now Emily was scrambling down Mark's leg and stood in front of her family, eye's shining._

_"Well doesn't someone look cute," Arizona laughed. Emily giggled._

_"Sup shortie," Cristina said. Emily then frowned._

_"Me not short... me big," Emily emphathsized by jumping as high as she could into the air._

_"Of course you are," Derek laughed and scooped her up into his arms._

She wanted to be with them for her third birthday, but instead, Emily was afraid she'd have to spend it in the smelly hotel room with her new daddy who hurt her.

* * *

"Mer.... Mer.... Mer honey you have to wake up," Derek murmured in her ear.

"No... I don't wanna," Mer whined into the pillow.

"We're gonna be late for work," Derek said.

"Too bad," Meredith muttered. Derek sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. If Emily was there this wouldn't be happening. Derek could hear his little girl's voice in his head.

_"MOMMY! You gotta waked up! Daddy said so. Pwease... I wanna go te my fwiends!"_

Whenever Meredith wouldn't wake up Derek could always count on his daughter's smile, giggle, and ability to control all of his wife's emotions. But not anymore.

"But Mer..." Derek protested.

"Derek," Meredith snapped. "My daughter is with a freaking pyscho and I don't know where she is so forgive me for not wanting to go into work."

"I know," Derek sighed. His mother had left a week earlier, when they both were forced to return to work. It seemed so much easier to get through to Mer when Carolyn Shepherd was there. She knew just what to say and what to do. Now Derek was alone as he watched his wife slip into a depression.

"I just want my Emily back," Meredith whimpered.

"I know Mer.... me too," Derek sighed as he scooped her into his arms and hugged her tightly.

* * *

"Hey Greg!"

Jason froze at the top of the steps. It was her voice, perky Gina. Luckily they were checking out the next day but Gina was to into Emily. Jason smiled.

"Hey Gina," he choked out.

"Where's little Hopie?" she asked.

"Oh.... um... she's in the room," he stuttered.

"By herself?" she questioned.

"Oh I was..." Jason bit his lip.

"You left two hours ago, was she alone all that time?"

"Uh.... no... I got a babysitter..."

"Where is she... or he?"

"Um...."

"Greg... what's the matter? Why can't you answer."

"I.... uh..... I...."

"God Gene!" Tom exclaimed walking out of their room. "This is just sick."

"What?" Gina asked. Jason breathed out a sigh of relief and was about to slip into his room.

"Greg you get the paper?" Tom asked him.

"Uh... no," he shrugged.

"This is terrible," Gina breathed looking at it. "The poor child is probably terrified."

"What?" Jason asked.

"This creep, Jason Hartley," Gina said showing a picture of him without his hair dyed and Em without her wig or contacts. "He kidnapped this adorable litte two and a half year old girl Emily from Seattle, apparently he escaped to here and still hasn't been found."

"Oh... that's a shame," Jason murmured.

"Yeah.... who is that sick... apparently he has murdered before. This little girl is in danger," Tom said.

"Oh well.... let me go relieve the babysitter," Jason muttered dismissively and slipped inside the room.

"Tell Hopie that I hope her arm is okay," Gina called warily. Jason nodded and shut the door and watched the couple leave the hallway from the peep hole.

"Get out here brat!" Jason screamed and slammed his fist onto a small table. "HOPE! He watched as the little girl crawled out from underneath the bed.

"Here I am," Emily whimpered.

"What the fuck were you doing under there?" he asked harshly and grabbed her arm to throw her on the bed.

"Da lady came," Emily told him. "Me do what you said."

"Good," he spat and slammed and duffle bag next to Emily on the bed making her jump.

"What dat for?" Emily asked timidly as Jason began throwing clothes into it.

"We're leaving."

* * *

**This chapter is a filler.... But will Emily be saved before Jason escapes with her? What will he do if he does?****  
**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

"We're leaving."

"Where?" Emily asked timidly.

"I don't know," he growled. He lashed back and sent Emily flying across the room with a wail. "Get your stuff." Emily crouched in fear but got up eventually to run towards her clothes that were stuffed in a single drawer. Carrying as much as she could carry she put it on the bed next to Jason.

"Here ou go," Emily whispered. He nodded and began stuffing everything into the suitcase.

"Get your shoes on," he said hurriedly. Emily grabbed them and brought them next to him. "What?"

"Me not know how tie," Emily told him.

"Just slip them on, I'll carry you once we're out of the hotel," he hissed. Emily did as she was told. Emily watched with wide eyes as he checked outside the hotel window for any cops and then sped out the door, checking behind him to make sure Emily was following.

"Greg," Gina called. "Where are you going?"

"We've got to leave," was all he said.

"Hope," Gina said hopefully. "Why do you have to go?"

"Daddy said so," Emily whispered looking at Jason who was already halfway down the hall.

"Come on," Jason growled and doubled back to grab Emily's arm harshly. The quick movement made Emily's wig slip and fall off down the hallway, leaving her dark curly hair exposed for the first time in a month.

"Bye Miss Gina!" Emily called once more as Jason picked her up and ran down the steps. When he was down to the front lobby he quickly threw the keys on the desk, not bothering to get the deposit. He had to get out of there. With Emily's wig gone he had to act fast. That's when he saw a man packing up his car alone. Quickly he set Emily down and walked up to the man.

"Give me the keys," he growled.

"What?" he asked. Jason punched him in the face.

"Give me the keys," he hissed. The man was adamant and didn't let them go. Unfortunately for him, Jason wasn't gonna give up without a fight. In a few seconds, the man was bleeding on the ground while Jason was stuffing Emily and their bags into the car. Slamming the door shut, Jason ran around to the drivers seat and put the keys in the ignition. A few seconds later he sped away.

"Where we going?" Emily asked quietly.

"Anywhere but here," Jason growled.

"Sorry I lost my wig," Emily whispered.

"It's my fault, my own mistake, just never let it happen again," Jason sighed.

"Kay," Emily murmured and curled up in the back seat. She watched as Jason sped through the streets of Philly, going the speed limit for no suspicion, but going exactly the speed limit. Emily gasped as they came to a bridge. This was one fear Emily had. She hated going over water. As Jason sped through he clenched his teeth as Emily let out high pitched wail after high pitched wail. Once they were over she slowly stopped, but it didn't stop his growing anger as they sped on for an hour.

It only stopped as he looked back and Emily was curled up asleep in her seat, sucking her thumb. He remembered she was only a little girl. He went into a parking lot, parked, and got out of the car. Gently he bent down and picked her up, trying not to wake her, grabbed the suitcase, and walked towards Atlantic City International Airport.

* * *

"Greg... Hope... you forgot..." Gina called after the father and daughter but stopped as she realized what just happened. She picked up the red wig as she made her way to the end of the hall.

"Gina... what's wrong?" Tom asked. "Was that Greg and Hope?"

"No..." Gina whispered. "Because they were not who we thought they were."

"What do you mean?" Tom asked.

"This fell of ''Hope's' head," Gina whispered holding up the red curly wig.

"What?" Tom asked.

"Do you still have the newspaper?" Gina asked.

"What one?" Tom questioned.

"The paper with the little girl Emily," Gina said, her voice low. Tom disappeared into the room and came back out.

"You think..." Tom began but Gina held her hand up. She was staring intently at the page. Briefly she remembered the color hair she saw speed down the hallway. She let out a gasp. "What?"

"We have to call the police.... now!" she exclaimed and ran into the room. "Hope is Emily... Greg is Jason! All this time... they were right in front of us Tom!"

"Gene they were in disguise, we couldn't have known," Tom reasoned.

"But... Emily... she is probably so scared, and her parents," Gina fretted.

"They couldn't have gotten far," Tom sighed. Gina grabbed the phone and dialed 911.

"This is 911... what is your emergency," the operator said.

"Hello, my name is Gina Phillips... I just spotted Emily... um...." She glanced down at the page. "Shepherd, and her kidnapper Jason Hartley."

"Ma'am... are you sure it's them. We have been getting loads of false reports," the operator cautioned.

"I know it was her god damnit," Gina snapped. "She had a wig on for the past month. He was running away with her and it fell off."

"I'll send officers over there right away," the operator said.

"Jason had a disguise, red hair and blue eyes, Ho- Emily had blue contacts in I am assuming," Gina added before she hung up.

"Thank you," the operator said and hung up. Gina and Tom ran down to the lobby where they found a man limping in.

"Oh my god," Tom exclaimed and ran forward. "Man... what happened?"

"Some whack job attacked me for my car," he choked out as Tom and Gina helped him sit. "He had a little girl with him." Gina gasped.

"Did he have red hair and blue eyes?" she questioned.

"As a matter of fact... yes," the man said. Gina sighed.

"No," she whispered.

"Gene, Emily has her wig off... her pictures all over Pennsylvania... someone will recognize her," Tom reassured.

"I hope so," Gina whispered. A few more minutes of silence and the police came bursting through the door. Gina raced over. "I am the one who made the call," she announced.

"Ma'am.... I am Officer Henry, this is my partner Officer Wood.... tell us everything you know about this man," he said hurriedly, knowing they didn't have much time.

"He's been living here for the past month with Emily," Tom told them. "They were disguised with red hair and blue eyes. We know Emily had a wig on, but not sure about Jason."

"They've been living as Hope and Greg Andrews," Gina added. "And I know it was them now. The disguise had me fooled, but now.... it's no question... I think I even have a picture." Gina fished through her purse and pulled out a picture of her and Emily on their shopping trip. The officers took it and looked at it closely. They then pulled out a picture of Emily with Meredith and Derek and looked closely.

"I think you were right Ma'am," Officer Henry concluded.

"Do you have any clue where they might have gone?" Officer Wood asked.

"No clue," Tom shrugged.

"But we believe he stole that mans car," she pointed to the beaten up man. Officer Wood ran over to get any information from him.

"Do you think you can catch him?" Tom asked.

"Her wig fell off right?" Officer Henry asked. Gina nodded. "Then Emily will be easier to recognize."

"Can you keep us informed?" Gina asked.

"We'll try, just check the news," Officer Henry said.

"We got the description of the car," Officer Wood called over.

"Okay..." Officer Henry nodded and the two officers ran out of the hotel.

"I hope she's okay," Gina whispered as her and Tom listened to the sirens speed away.

* * *

Jason carried Emily carefully in his arms as they pushed through the crowds in the airport. Surprisingly Emily was sound asleep, only whimpering or making any noise if someone bumped into them. Jason got in line for tickets to go anywhere but the east coast, at least for another month. He had no clue where they were going to go. He looked up at the flight schedules. The soonest one was in about an hour and a half. That would give him enough time.

"How may I help you," the woman at the front desk asked. Jason put his fingers to his lips. "Oh sorry," she whispered.

"Two tickets to Arizona," he said in a quiet voice.

"There is a lay over in Texas," she warned.

"That's fine," Jason shrugged. She began typing into a computer.

"Your daughter's beautiful by the way," she commented.

"Thank you," he nodded.

"Will you need to check your bag?" she asked.

"No, it's fine, it's small enough," Jason reassured, took the tickets, and started towards security. Emily slept the entire way onto the plane. Jason was just grateful of that as the plane took off and welcomed their newest life.

* * *

"Dr. Shepherd.... it's yours," a nurse said as a pager went off.

"I'm sure it can wait," Derek shrugged.

"Not yours," the nurse said and turned towards Mer. Just then Derek's went off as well. Meredith and Derek looked at each other immediately.

"What does it say?" Meredith asked.

"911, Emily," the nurse told them. Meredith immediately took off running towards the scrub room, grabbed her pager, and stripping her surgical gown at the same time.

"Get Nelson," was all Derek could say as he followed closely behind his wife. They didn't bother to scrub out as they took off down the hallways of Seattle Grace.

"What does it say?" Derek asked as Mer looked down at her pager.

"Nurses station," was all Meredith could choke out, tears pouring down her face. When they turned the corner, they saw Officer White standing there.

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Shepherd," Officer White nodded.

"What.... what has happened?" Meredith asked.

"Your daughter has been spotted again," Officer White told them. Meredith sucked in a breath.

"Where?" Derek asked quietly.

"In Philadelphia," he said. "Her and Jason were seen fleeing a Best Western where it is said they have been living in disguise this past month. They're neighbor recognized her after a red wig she has been wearing fell off. From there he stole a car and sped off."

"With our Emily," Mer whimpered.

"They couldn't have gotten far," Officer White reassured. "The color, type, and license plate of the car has been identified and spotted in several spots of Philly. All of Philly police is on the look out. In case that they don't find the car anywhere, we would like to make her case national."

"As in all over the US," Derek wondered.

"Possibly just the surrounding states of PA, but if it seems they have fled again, we will transfer her picture to all 50 states. And since he is a flight risk for many people along with your daughter, it is possible the FBI and several special victim units will get involved as well," he explained.

"So..." Meredith whispered, now noticing her friends out of the corner of her eye, they were listening as well.

"It is very possible we could have your daughter safe very soon," the officer nodded.

"Thank god," Derek murmured as Meredith closed her eyes, sunk into Derek's grasp, and let out a relieved sigh.

* * *

**Did he get away? Did anyone notice him? Emily's picture is not in New Jersey... but anyone from Philly recognize him? Oh yeah, just to let you know, Gina and Tom are no longer in this story, this was their last chapter...****  
**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

Emily had woken up midway through the flight, terrified like always. This time Jason knew how to 'calm' her down though. Luckily, at that point they were in the air so she wouldn't wail on the way down.

Before Em could let out a scream Jason bent down in her ear.

"You even think about doing that and your dead. You'll be outside this window before you even blink," he hissed in a hushed whisper. Although there is no way that Jason could throw her out the window, Emily's eyes widened at the thought and she shrunk back in her seat. "That's what I thought."

He sat back contently and began hatching up his latest plan. He had family in Arizona, but they would be no help. Once the police finds out they are in Arizona, that is the first place they would look. Then he remembered the layover in Texas and had a great idea. Before he could ponder it, Emily tugged on his shirt.

"Daddy," she whispered fearfully.

"What?" he snapped and Emily shrank back. Not the daddy she was hoping for.

"I gots to go potty," Em whimpered.

"Well go," he hissed.

"Where?" she asked.

"God," he snapped and grabbed her arm and pulled her to the bathroom in the back. He brought her in a stood there. "Well.... go!" Emily jumped back. "What are you waiting for?" She didn't want to go with him in there. In the hotel room, Emily usually was alone when she went, struggling with her dress, and struggling to get on and off.

Jason let out an agitated sigh and grabbed her. Quickly he pushed her dress up, pulled down her underwear, and sat her down on the toilet harshly. Emily whimpered as she watched him look at her.

"Go," he snapped and Emily obeyed.

"I done daddy," she whispered eventually, not meeting his eyes. Jason helped her off and tried not to think of her little body. Emily squirmed uncomfortably when he helped her get redressed and helped her back to the seat. When they sat back down, Emily kept staring at him.

"What now?" he hissed quietly.

"I hungy," she whimpered.

"Tough," he snapped and sat forward. Emily sighed and snuggled down in the seat, letting her growling stomach lull her to sleep.

* * *

Meredith sat in a conference room staring at her hands that have fallen in her lap. Richard allowed them to take it over while they waited news on Emily. Derek was talking to several police officers just down the hall. All of a sudden, the doors burst open.

"Is it true?" Meredith looked up.

All of her friends, at least George, Izzie, Cristina, Lexie, and Alex, were in the doorway.

"Was she really spotted?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah," Mer whispered. "Apparently.... um...." Meredith choked back a sob. "She.... she has a broken arm, and cuts.... lots and lots of.... of cuts."

"That bastard," Alex snapped. "He is going to pay."

"If they find her," Meredith murmured.

"Mer," Lexie sighed and took a seat next to her sister. "They have all of Philadelphia police looking for this guy."

"And in the past couple of years, how many Philly cops have been killed," Meredith hissed. "If they can't protect themselves, how are they supposed to protect my little girl."

"Meredith," Cristina said. "That's not fair you..."

"I know," Meredith finished for her. Her voice dropped. "But what if all of Philly police isn't enough? What if he is already out of the country with her, what if he has.... ki-" Meredith broke off with a sob.

"Don't think about that Mer," George whispered, coming protectively on Meredith's back and rubbing it gently. "We don't know what's going to happen in the next few hours, but it isn't the end. Even if he escapes with Em, they still have leads, they still have their pictures, hell, they could send them all around the world if they wanted to."

"They shouldn't have to send her picture around, she should be with us!" Meredith half screamed half sobbed.

"It's gonna be okay Mer," Izzie comforted.

"How?" Meredith asked.

"We just-" Alex began but was broken off by a loud voice in the hall.

"WHAT!?" It was Derek.

"Derek," Meredith hissed, her eyes widening. She immediately stood up, ran to the door, and ran to her husband. "What?" She hoped it was good.

"ARIZONA!" he screamed.

"What?" Meredith questioned.

"What?" Arizona said, confused.

"No, not you," Derek said. "The state."

"Derek I-" Meredith began but he cut her off.

"That bastard is taking her to fucking Arizona!" Alex caught Meredith before she hit the ground.

* * *

"Flight to Arizona now boarding." Jason sat there with Emily on his lap. She was falling asleep in a way that almost made her cute.

"Flight to Arizona, last call." Jason smiled.

A few minutes later Jason turned around and watched the plane take off. If they saw Emily on the security cam, they would be going straight to Arizona. Even if they were looking here at the layover, they would be looking on the wrong plane.

"Daddy," Emily whispered.

"What um.... Amber?" Jason questioned. Emily looked at him with wide scared eyes. "Yes, that's your name now."

"What your name now?" Emily asked.

"Mike Jacobs," Jason answered, he was getting good at this.

"Where we going now?" she asked.

"Far away," Jason told her.

"Why?" she asked. "Why we leave Sattle, why Illy, I wanna go..."

"Because," he hissed. "The people found out your real name, and we don't want that. Until I say so, your name is Amber Faith Jacobs and I am Mike Jacobs, now NO more questions." Emily flinched and pulled away slightly, her eyes wide with fear.

"Kay," she whispered.

"Flight to Nevada now boarding." Jason picked Emily and their bags up and began walking to security.

* * *

"How?" Meredith whimpered, now recovered. "You said... all.... police.... how could they get away?"

"He crossed state lines into New Jersey Mrs. Shepherd," the officer explained. "He went to Atlantic City International and booked a flight to Arizona. By the time they found the stolen car the flight had already left it's layover in Texas. We are trying to get in contact with the pilot of the flight and get him and her secured. He had to have made it through security so he will have no weapons on him and he should be easy to apprehend."

"So this is it," Mer murmured.

"Yes," the officer nodded.

"We'll have our Em back," Derek looked up hopefully.

"We should get contact very soon," the officer reassured.

"Oh thank god," Meredith sighed and leaned into Derek who embraced her. "She'll be ours again."

"Yes Mer baby, she will. We'll have our baby girl back real soon. They are in the air right now, there is no where they can escape," Derek murmured into her hair. They can escape however, if they are looking on the wrong flight.

* * *

**So close, yet so far. They are not in Arizona as everyone believes which they will soon find out. That lay over in Texas helped unfortunately.... and Jason is getting good at this too... But... did anyone recognize him, that is always the question. The next couple of chapters are going to be a little less of Emily and more of Mer and Der. Especially Der because of what he is about to do. I want everyone to wonder what is happening to Em...**

**A/N: Happy ending, I will remind you about that :)**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

* * *

Officer White sighed as he got off the phone, not wanting to go into the conference room the Shepherd's were now huddled in, praying for a miracle, calling family. They weren't getting a miracle.

For the past month he was assisting as much as he could to get the two year old back to the family she belongs to, not with the psycho. Not being in Philadelphia to search was hard. He was just as powerless as the Shepherd's, only being a messenger every time their daughter was spotted, not found.

With a deep breath, he opened the conference room and faced the room full of people. Meredith and Derek were on a single chair, Meredith crushed close to Derek's lap. Cristina, Izzie, and Mark were in there as well. When they heard the door open, Meredith jumped off of Derek's lap immediately and ran towards Officer White.

"Ha-have you heard anything?" she asked. Derek came up behind her, holding onto her arm fearfully.

"You might want to sit down," Officer White sighed.

"It's bad, isn't it," Derek's voice cracked.

"You might want to sit down," he repeated. Once the obliged, he took a seat next to them. "No one was allowed off the flight once it touched down. Security guards and police were at the door and police searched everyone... all the little girls on the plane.... none of them were Emily and Jason."

"But you said," Meredith cried.

"I know I did... but at the layover.... Jason must have bought another ticket, and not board the original flight," he murmured.

"What does this mean?" Derek asked.

"It means that the Dallas police will have to search their security camera archives, to find out which flight they went on.... hopefully... Emily doesn't have a disguise yet," Officer White said.

"Could they be in Texas?" Mer asked in a small voice.

"We are preparing for that option as well.... everything is in good hands Mrs. Shepherd," he reassured.

"Oh Em," Meredith sobbed, burring her face into Derek's shoulder.

"When will we know?" Derek asked.

"Soon.... but I suggest you take the Mrs. home, you both have a lot to ingest... I will contact you there once we have a lead," he told them.

"Okay," Derek sighed, defeated, helping Meredith up and out of the room. Their friends approached him.

"You really think they will be able to find her," Cristina hissed.

"You aren't giving them false hope... are you?" Mark growled.

"Because if you are..." Izzie began but Officer White cut them off.

"I believe that we will find where they are... I am as hopeful that she is found as all of you are..." he reassured. They didn't say a word, just nodded curtly. He followed them out and listened in on their conversation with their other friends.

"Mer was crying... what's wrong?" George asked.

"Was Em found?" Lexie asked.

"No," Mark choked out, and hugged his wife tightly.

"Oh no," Arizona whispered, linking hands with Callie. George leaned against the wall while Izzie cried into Alex's shoulder. Miranda came running up as well.

"Did they-" she began but was cut off as Callie shook her head. "Damnit." As he walked away, their eyes were on him, as if he was the bad guy. Andto them, he was.

* * *

"Derek," Meredith whispered, as she was huddled in their daughter's 'big girl' bed they bought her recently. "Derek!" Derek heard her call and ran in immediately.

"Mer?" he questioned. "What's wrong?"

"Any word," she murmured.

"Not yet baby," he sighed. "Are you hungry?" She rolled over.

"I can't eat," she muttered.

"Mer... sweetheart, you can't not eat... Em will need a strong and healthy mother when she comes home," Derek told her, coming around the other side of the bed.

"How can you do that?"

"What honey?"

"Be so optimistic... have so much hope to think that we will actually see her again...."

"Mer... it's the only thing I can do..."

"What do you mean?"

"Thinking I will never hear her laugh, see her smile, run my hand through her dark curls ever again hurts too much... I need to think that she will come back to us."

"What if they can't find her... what if he put a disguise on her again. What if..."

"They will...."

"Derek... _what if_," Mer urged.

"We'll get through it," Derek reassured.

"How?" her voice cracked.

"We're Meredith and Derek... that's why..."

"I love you," she murmured, pressing her face to Em's pillow once more. It no longer smelled like her daughter. It has been too long. And she probably sucked all the smell out of it the past month. Derek helped Mer down the stairs and they both sat at the kitchen table. After a long moment of silence, Derek spoke.

"Mer..." he whispered.

"Yeah Der," Mer sighed.

"I love you too."

"I know Der," Mer smiled. "Why did you decide to say it now."

"Because... when Em left the hospital I never said I love you... to either of you... I thought I would see _both _of you... at home," Derek murmured.

"Oh Der I..." Mer began but was cut off by the phone ringing. Immediately Mer jumped up and hit speaker.

"Hello," she said.

"Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd... it's me, Officer White," Officer White said on the other line.

"What is it... did you..." Derek began.

"We know where your daughter is," he confirmed.

"Oh thank god," Mer gasped.

"Where... are you sure," Derek demanded.

"Yes," the officer reassured. "On the tape, they saw Emily, not in disguise, on Jason's lap... he was in disguise but we recognized Emily. He sat there for about an hour before he got up, and headed towards the security gate for the flight to Austin, Nevada."

"So she is in Nevada," Mer whispered.

"Yes," he said. "Finding it so late, the plane had already touched down, but police there now have Emily and Jason's picture, and one with his disguise as well."

"What do we do now?" Mer whispered.

"Although we know where they are... it's obvious that Jason already has an extensive plan," Officer White began. "Since it is very possible he could escape to any other state in the US... I think we should make the case national... meaning we will have a press conference, explaining Emily capture and showing recent photos... and this press conference will be shown throughout the United States."

"Okay," Meredith nodded.

"Will we..." Derek began.

"You can come on... if you want... just ask Jason to return your daughter and ask everyone to be on the lookout," the officer said. "Now... have you thought about a reward?"

"Izzie... she has... she has made a fundraiser... to raise one... that was what she was talking about in the conference room with us," Meredith told him.

"Okay," he nodded. Then he hung up.

* * *

"Amber... come on," Jason said calmly as if he expected the two and a half year old girl to remember her new name. "AMBER!" Emily jumped and spun around to face him, eyes wide with fear.

"Yes daddy," she whimpered. This was the only thing she seemed to remember, to call him daddy.

"Come on," he grabbed her harshly, gritting his teeth.

"Where?" she asked as he placed her into a rental car outside.

"Anywhere but here," he growled as he slammed her door shut, and put their suitcases in the back.

"Where here?"

"The airport... we live in Nevada now," Jason said.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because... I already told you why brat!" he hissed and Em fell silent. She watched as he pulled up in front of yet another hotel. He watched her crestfallen face with a smile. "We are gonna get a house... just not now..."

* * *

_One week later..._

"Emily Shepherd was kidnapped on April 16th of this year out of her own home in Seattle, Washington. Her mother was knocked unconscious and heard nothing. Her kidnapper has been identified as Jason Hartley from Atlanta, Georgia," Officer White said into the microphone. Reporters and news crews from all over the country surrounded him. He held up a picture of Emily and Jason. "Emily is a two and a half year old, caucasian, female girl. She has curly dark, almost black hair, with green eyes. Jason has dirty blond hair and green eyes. The only whereabouts of the two we know at the moment is Austin, Nevada where they were spotted at an airport on May 23rd. Jason was last seen with a disguise of red hair and blue eyes and Emily presumably had blue contacts in. Their appearance is currently unknown. Jason is known for a quick escape so we ask you all to keep a look out for them. If you see them, please contact your local police. There is a 1000 dollar reward for the return of Emily to her parents. Do not approach him, Jason is known to be highly dangerous." Meredith and Derek stepped forward to the podium. "Now a word from Emily's parents."

"Jason," Meredith said into the microphone. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she had circles under her eyes. She had not made any attempt. "If you are watching this, please just give us our daughter back. It is not our fault that your daughter died on the table... before we could even get in, her aneurysm burst and she bled out in seconds, there was nothing we could do." Officer White stepped in.

"For all those who do not know, the Shepherd's are surgeons at Seattle Grace Hospital, Jason came to the hospital for his daughter who blacked out and needed an aneurysm clipped... she died on the table and Jason blamed the Shepherd's and took their daughter from them."

"She's right Jason," Derek said, as Officer White left. "We did all we could... we just want our daughter back... so please.... please someone just help us, she is only two... she needs her parents, we need her. She's our world...."

* * *

Jason chuckled as he watched the press conference.

"Pathetic," he muttered. "Please.... please... help us, she's our world," he mocked Meredith and Derek. "Well too bad! Your not getting her back!" He sat in his room of the two bedroom apartment he was renting. His hair was now dark brown, his eyes still blue. He didn't look like himself at all though. He then smiled. He had an idea to get them beg.

"Oh Jason," he praised himself. "Your so smart..." With that he marched up to Emily's room. Or Amber's... or whatever her name was. Swinging the door open he met the scared eyes of a curly blond little girl with gray eyes.

"Come on," he hissed and grabbed her hand. He hauled her to his bed and slammed her on the floor in front of the TV, she whimpered until she looked up. She saw Meredith and Derek. Her eyes widened in joy.

"MOMMY! DADDY!" she squealed. Her joy was cut off as her cheek was slapped harshly.

"They are not your Mommy and Daddy anymore... remember," Jason hissed in her face. "Well... only for today." Emily looked up at him confused before turning back to the screen of the TV. On the floor, she watched with wide eyes as the screen went blank, and Jason was dialing the phone.

* * *

"Do you think it will work?" Meredith asked Officer White as he dropped them off back at their house.

"There will be a lot of false reports, we know it, but hopefully it at least got Jason scared," the officer reassured. "Now everyone in the US who was watching the news today would have both of their pictures."

"So it's good... we're hopeful," Derek asked.

"Yes," he nodded. Derek opened the door and invited the officer in for a few moments. Just then the phone rang. Derek hurried to get it.

"Hello," he said.

"Derbear," Kathleen, his sister said. "I just saw the press conference... it's getting bad isn't it?"

"We are getting more hopeful now, don't worry Kathy," Derek sighed.

"But Nevada," he protested.

"It's closer, it's closer than Philly... it's better than it was," Derek told her.

"Are you and Mer okay... Mer looked terrible at the podium," Kathleen sympathized.

"We'll be find once we get our daughter back," Derek reassured.

"Well... me, the girls, and mom are here if you need us.... we can fly out whenever, or you can call if you just need to talk," Kathy told him.

"I know Kath... thanks..." Derek murmured and hung up. He turned around to see Mer there.

"Was that Kathy?" she asked.

"Yeah," Derek nodded. Officer White was still there as well.

"What did she want?" Mer questioned.

"Making sure we are all right," Derek shrugged. The phone rang again.

"Who could that be?" Mer asked.

"I didn't say goodbye... you know Kath," Derek smiled and Mer giggled slightly.

"Put it on speaker," she told him and Derek obliged.

"Kath I know..." he began, but froze as a man chuckled on the other line. Meredith grasped onto his arm.

"I don't think that's my name... you guys know my name, so how are you Shepherd's?" the man said casually.

"Jason," Derek growled.

"Oh... I don't think you should greet me like that," he laughed. "We don't want Em to get hurt, do we."

"Don't you dare hurt out daughter," Meredith hissed.

"Well... I didn't even know you had a daughter until you told me about her before Mands went into surgery.... and. Never. Came. Out." Jason told them. Meredith's face fell.

"Shut the fuck up," Derek screamed and held onto his wife. Officer White came forward.

"Jason... this is Officer White... if you return Emily, we will let you go... just give her to a hospital around where you are and we will get her back," he said.

"Yeah right," he scoffed.

"Please," Meredith wailed. "We're sorry."

"I know and I don't care," Jason said smugly.

"Just give Emily back," Derek begged.

"That's what I like to hear," he laughed. "Begging... but no... and that's not even her name anymore."

"Just don't hurt her," Meredith sighed.

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't," Jason shrugged.

"You son of a..." Derek trailed off.

"Mommy.... Daddy...." Emily whimpered.

* * *

**I know that was a very evil cliffhanger... And I know you all want Em to be back with Mer and Der, but trust me, I have a plan... The next couple of chapters are going to be a little less of Emily and more of Mer and Der. Especially Der because of what he is about to do. I want everyone to wonder what is happening to Em...  
**

**A/N: Happy ending, I will remind you about that :)**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update... my life was hectic but now that field hockey is almost over, the only thing in my way now is dance which is at night :) Except Saturday morning's until Decemeber, then I have Christmas Show rehearsal..... Then I will be free to write whenever.**

* * *

_"Mommy.... Daddy...." Emily whimpered._

"Em," Meredith whispered, as if it could not be true that that was her daughter. Her Emily. Her Emily Elizabeth Shepherd.

"You have five minutes... she doesn't know where she lives, she doesn't know anything, she barely knows her name.... enjoy," Jason growled huskily in the phone.

"Mommy... Daddy," Emily said hopefully.

"Em... baby girl we're here," Meredith said, tears pouring out of her eyes. Her voice didn't waver for a second though. She had the chance to talk to her baby girl. Something she thought for the past month would never happen again.

"Where are you," she cried.

"We're at home baby," Derek choked out, holding onto Meredith tightly. "In Seattle."

"Why am I not with you anymore," Em whimpered.

"We..." Meredith began.

"My new daddy told me that you didn't want me anymore... so you gave me to him... I thought you loved me, but why did you give me away," Emily said innocently. Meredith gasped and she began shaking. The son of a bitch lied to her daughter and made her think they didn't love her.

"Em baby we love you, very much, never forget that," Derek vowed.

"Then why?" she cried.

"Because princess," Meredith began, choosing her words carefully. "Mommy and Daddy were having trouble... with grown-up things, things you shouldn't be around, but we are good now...."

"Does that mean I am coming back to you soon?" she asked.

"We hope Emi," Derek whispered.

"Why do I have to keep moving around with daddy?" Emily asked.

"I don't know sweetheart, but maybe if you ask him he will tell you," Meredith said gently.

"When I ask him questions, he gets mad," Em whimpered. Meredith let out a quick sob. "Mommy you crying?"

"Mommy just misses you so much Emi," Meredith reassured. "That's all."

"I miss you too Mommy.... and you too Daddy," Emily whimpered.

"I miss you just as much princess," Derek added.

"I don't like it here... there nothing to play with," Em said.

"I'm sorry baby," Meredith whispered.

"I want to be back home with you," Emily cried.

"I know... but you want to know something Em?" Derek said.

"Yeah," she whimpered.

"At night, is there a window in your room that you can see the sky at?" Derek asked.

"Mhmm hmm," Em said.

"Well you know at night when the stars come out?" Derek said.

"Mhmm hmm," she nodded.

"Every night, before you go to sleep, look up in the sky and find the brightest star... that's our star," Derek told her. He was making this up as he went. Anything to comfort his daughter. Anything to comfort him.

"It is," Emily said, amazed.

"Yes, God made it just for us," Derek continued. "So every night, find it, and wish us a goodnight and tell us that you love us."

"Will you hear?" Emily asked.

"Yes baby," Derek nodded.

"Can I hear you?" she questioned.

"No," Meredith shook her head, stepping in. "But seeing that star will let you know that we are always with you, always thinking about you, and always love you."

"I will do it every night," Em vowed.

"Until we are together again," Meredith confirmed.

"Okay," she nodded. "I love you!"

"It's not night time yet," Meredith laughed slightly, choking on her tears.

"I know, I just want to hear you say it back," Em giggled. Meredith and Derek looked at each other. That was their Emily.

"I love you," Meredith smiled.

"How much?" Em asked.

"To the stars and back," Meredith gulped.

"Cross your heart," Emily questioned.

"Cross my heart," Mer found herself making an 'X' over her heart.

"And Em," Derek began.

"Times up," Jason interrupted and the line went dead.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Meredith wailed.

"Mer.... Shhh.... it's okay," Derek sighed and grabbed his wife before pulling her into his arms.

"We were talking to her Der!" Mer cried. "We heard our baby girl's voice again and that son of a bitch just hung up!"

"I'm calling for backup," Officer White told them. "With their help, maybe we can trace the call." Derek looked up from Meredith and nodded.

"Thank you," he sighed.

"You may want to call your friends... you need it," he told them.

"We will," Derek murmured helping Mer to the kitchen table.

"She... she's so scared Der," Meredith whispered. "Our Em... he's hurting her..."

"I know Mer, I know," Derek stroked her hair.

* * *

She wouldn't stop crying. She couldn't remember they weren't her parents anymore. She was useless and a burden.

Grabbing 'Amber' by her broken arm he threw her harshly back into her bed, her head snapping back, her mouth opening in a wail. Jason covered it before she made a sound and smiled. He was hers to control. She was two, she couldn't do anything...

* * *

"Mer," Izzie said as she ran into the house quickly. "What happened?" Mer was now curled up on the couch. She noted the police cars outside, the police in the kitchen, Derek was talking to them. "Mer..." Izzie murmured as she sat on the couch beside her. Richard only let one of them go to her, and she volunteered.

"Jason called," Mer choked out and Izzie gasped.

"What..."

"We begged... and we pleaded... but he shot us down," Mer whispered. "We offered him his freedom, but he won't give her back."

"Oh Mer..."

"He just had to give her back... why is that so hard?" Meredith wailed.

"Did he... he saw the..."

"I think he did.... and..."

"And what Mer?" She hesitated for a second.

"He let us talk to her... for five minutes," Meredith sobbed. Izzie's eyes widened and she held onto her friends as her body shook with grief. "She was so scared Iz... she sounded so scared... and he was hurting her... he says he gets mad at her and... I don't know how... what he does... she's not even three and that ass... he just took her from us and now is beating her... or worse... No parent has the right to beat their child and when the child isn't even yours... how could you..."

"So she still remembers who she is?" Izzie asked. "Who you are?" Mer nodded.

"He hasn't brain washed her yet... thank god... except...." Mer trailed off and shivered.

"Except what?" Iz questioned.

"He has her calling him Daddy..." Mer spat. The only one she should be calling daddy is Derek. Her real daddy.

"Oh..." Iz whispered.

"What did we ever do to deserve this Iz... what did Em do... she never had terrible twos like everyone says, she was the perfect child... why?" Mer cried.

"The police... what are they doing here?" Izzie asked.

"Tracing the call... trying to see where in Nevada he is... they started out in Austin but...."

"This sucks," Iz muttered. Meredith nodded in agreement. Just then Derek walked into the room. Mer looked up hopefully, but when they met eyes, he shook his head solemnly. He didn't even have to. The look on his face said it all. Mer let out a quick sob and her head drooped to her chest in defeat.

* * *

Amber didn't want to be Amber Elyse Jacob. Amber didn't want to be with her Daddy anymore. He hurt her. Her other Mommy and Daddy didn't hurt her like this. But they did give her to him, she still didn't understand why. Amber knew they loved her and she loved them. But why did they give her to a man that hurt her? Were they gonna hurt her when they got her back?

* * *

Derek watched from the kitchen table silently as the police officers and FBI agents shuffled in and out of his kitchen. They were carrying machines, contacting other precincts, everything they could do, or so they said. They didn't know anything more than he did.

Officer Martin was sitting there, explaining what they were doing as best they could... but he didn't here. He couldn't here. He just wanted it to be night. He wanted to look for the brightest star. He wanted to know that Emily was doing the same thing as him.

Derek's eyes traveled across the room. Machines were hooked up to their phone which was hooked up to a computer. An FBI agent sat there and was typing away. The Seattle SVU was on their phones, in contact with the office, taking phone calls about Em, most of them fake. He saw Izzie outside with Meredith, so he left them. He just sat and stared, hoping for a miracle.

"Dr. Shepherd," the FBI agent on the computer named Detective Greene said.

"Yes," Derek said looking up.

"After tracing the call back, it seems that Mr. Hartley made the call from a prepaid cell phone in the Austin, Nevada area. Because it was prepaid, we can't track it any further," Detective Greene told him sorrowfully.

"Oh," Derek whispered.

"We've been in contact with the Austin SVU," one of the female SVU officers, Detective Fuller informed him. "They have had many calls on your daughter's whereabouts, but so far there has been no truthful reports... but they are hopeful that it will be successful in the long run."

"Unless he runs away with her again," Derek spat.

"We are doing everything we can Dr. Shepherd," Officer Martin told him.

"Well everything isn't enough... that's my little girl out there... with that pyscho... she told us herself that he was hurting her! You need to work harder..." Derek snapped.

"Dr. Shepherd..." Officer White began but Derek held his hand up.

"Not now... I have to tell my wife the bad news. That it was false hope again... that's all we'll ever have it bad news after bad news, false hope after false hope... don't waste time on us... do your job and find us some answers of the whereabouts of our daughter..." Derek growled and stalked out of the kitchen towards Meredith. When they met eyes, no words were needed. Derek knew that all he had to do was shake his head and she'd know it was bad news. When Mer let out a sob he russhed to her side and gathered her in a hug. He would do anything to get his little girl back. He would do anything to get them out of the rut they have been in with false hope of Em's whereabout's. He would do anything to stop his wife's despair.

* * *

**Besides their conversation, this chapter was a filler.... Next chapter Derek does something drastic that could hurt his relationship with Mer, but possibly bring them one step closer to finding his daughter... But it could also hurt the investigation as well.... The next couple of chapters are going to be a little less of Emily and more of Mer and Der. Especially Der because of what he is about to do. I want everyone to wonder what is happening to Em...**

**A/N: Happy ending, I will remind you about that :)**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update... my life was hectic but now that Christmas Show is over the only thing in my life now is dance which is at night :) Especially since over Christmas break I am getting my wisdom teeth out :(**

**I got a review saying that this story is getting boring and that I keep promising a happy ending and showing no results.... but the thing is I am not planning on ending this story for a while and it's a happy _ending._ Things will get worse before they get better, but they will get better I promise.**

* * *

Derek felt a lump in his throat as he looked at his wife in bed. It had been a week after the call with Emily. There was still no results, no hope of finding their daughter. She hadn't moved from their bed since Officer White gave them the news that they haven't heard anything from Nevada. It broke Derek's heart to see her like that. The only thing Mer did was go to the balcony every night was find their star and say goodnight to Emily, closing her eyes as if she could hear her tiny voice. That was _all _she ever did. If it wasn't for Izzie bringing over muffins and other baked goods constantly, Mer would have given up eating as well.

She did make sure she gave her no blueberry muffins, Em's favorite.

Derek kissed Mer gently on the cheek and went down for his daily routine, or at least what he has been doing for the past week that Richard had given them off.

"Hello.... Seattle Precinct, how many we help you?" the woman at the police station said after Derek picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Hello.... it's Derek Shepherd, is Officer White there?" Derek asked.

"Oh... Mr. Shepherd, hello," she greeted. She was used to his calling. "I'll connect you over right away."

"Hello... Dr. Shepherd," Officer White said.

"Officer White have you..." Derek asked.

"No... I am sorry.... the Austin police haven't connected with us... that could be good news meaning they are working feverishly on the case," he said.

"Could," Derek spat. "So I should tell my wife there COULD be good news concerning the whereabouts of our daughter in the near or distant future!"

"I'm sorry... we are doing... and they are doing everything they can."

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!" Derek boomed. "YOU are not there.... none of us are there... they could be overlooking her they could be..."

"Dr. Shepherd," Officer White said. "May I remind you that we are doing our job to the best of our abilities and you should not get involved for..."

"I could get in the way or get in danger," Derek finished in a low voice. "Goodbye, I will talk to you tomorrow.... now I have to go tell my wife more bad news." He slammed the phone down.

"Nothing," Mer's weak voice said from behind. He must have woken her when he kissed her and she must have followed him.

"I'm sorry Meri," Derek sighed holding onto her shoulders gently and kissing her forehead. Mer shivered and reached towards the phone.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Calling Mom," Mer told him and began dialing. He kissed her again on the head and went to make coffee. He sat down at the kitchen table and watched his wife carefully.... listening intently. He heard his mom on the other line.

_"Hello?" _

"Mom?"

_"Meredith! Honey how are you holding up?"_

"Fine I guess," Mer sighed. "Missing her."

_"Of course you are honey.... have you guys heard anything?"_

"No," Mer croaked. "Nothing... the police... here in Seattle they don't know anything, Nevada... they won't tell us anything..."

_"Maybe you guys should come out to New York for a few days, you have time off, I know, I called Richard, clear your head."_

"I don't know... I'll ask Der."

_"He'll want to come dear... and the girls want to see you.... I am pretty sure Nancy would even fly in from Connecticut."_

"We'll think about it..." Mer murmured and tried to meet Derek's eyes that said she wanted to go, but he was off into a train of thought that he hadn't heard any of it. The only thing he heard was the hurt in his wife's voice, how broken she was without her daughter. How their family felt incomplete without that little girl. He needed to do something, and now he knew what...

* * *

Mer, after hanging up with her mother-in-law, decided to take her advice and call Kathleen. She was hesitant to, but she decided to instead of going back to Dr. Wyatt. Carolyn had said things about needed to speak what she was feeling and needed to let it all out.

Before she dialed she turned around looking for her husband, but he had disappeared into his office. She grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down at the table and listened to the phone begin to ring.

"Hello?" Kathleen said into the phone.

"Kathy... it's me, Mer," Mer told her.

"MEREDITH!" she exclaimed and a small smile creeped upon her lips.

"Yeah... I think we've established that's my name," Mer said.

"Sorry," Kathy apologized. "It's just, I've wanted to speak to you... but DerBear would never let me... and I just wanted to say how sorry I am that this has happened to you... Der told me that bastard called and let you talk to her but cut you short, and... if you need to talk, I am here."

"That's what I was calling about actually," Mer confessed. "Mom said I should, she has ways and could here it in my voice."

"The grief," Kathy questioned.

"The guilt," Mer admitted quietly.

"What?" Kath asked. "You did _nothing _wrong Mer."

"I was watching her Kath... and I thought it was her... if I had just investigated instead of blaming her of making the noise... this would have never happened... I could have grabbed her and called the police... I could have..."

"No," she commanded. "You cannot do that Meredith... the only one who is at fault is that asshole who took her from you... not you... not Der.... him."

"But it doesn't mean that I still don't feel responsible," Mer whispered.

"Mer... it's not true," Kathy told her. "You couldn't do anything... it's NOT your fault."

"Mom said something about coming up to New York... for a visit... maybe just a weekend or... just to clear our heads and..."

"Oh Mer that's a great idea!" Kathy exclaimed.

"You think?" Mer murmured.

"You need your family... and I know you consider your friends in Seattle like Izzie and all them family but..."

"Yeah... I get it... I gotta talk to Der."

"I bet you he wants this as much as we do and you do..."

"Yeah..." Mer sighed and looked to her husband's office, wondering what he was doing.

* * *

_Two days later..._

Mer was getting really confused. Derek was so distant the past couple of days. He hadn't called the police everyday like he used to and he wouldn't wake her up and make sure she got out of bed. She was getting worried. Mer was so preoccupied with that she didn't notice the packed suitcase that sat in front of her husband's office. That morning, she sat down at him at the breakfast table and brought it up.

"Der," she murmured, looking up at him. He was doing something on his phone. "Derek... ever since I talked to mom the other day... you've been acting weird.... what's wrong?" He opened his mouth but closed it. "Derek?" He still didn't answer. "Der, please, tell me what's wrong," she begged.

"I'm leaving," he whispered. Mer's eyes widened in shock.

"What," she whimpered, her voice scared.

"I said I am leaving," he said a little louder. Mer heard the hurt in his voice.

"Leaving.... why... where.... what did I do," Mer stuttered, tears pooling around her eyes. Derek's eyes softened and he reached out to cup her cheek.

"I'm not leaving you Meri," he murmured. "I'm leaving Seattle... I am going to Nevada... I can't sit back and watch the police do nothing to find Em, I have to find her myself."

"The police said... stay..." Mer shook.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY!" Derek snapped and Mer flinched. "Sorry," he whispered. "I can't stand you this hurt."

"Then I am going with you," Mer said standing up on shaky legs.

"No," Derek shook his head. "No you are not."

"Don't you want me...." she gasped.

"Of course I do... but it's too dangerous," he told her.

"For you too," Meredith wailed. "You can't leave me!"

"It's the only way," Derek sighed.

"No it's not!" she cried, tears coming down her face. "You can take me with you... or not go at all.... listen to the police... or at least take me.... please." It hurt Derek to see her so desperate. Mer looked in his eyes and for a moment thought he listened, but he still shook his head.

No... Mer, this is dangerous, this guys who has our baby girl is dangerous. He already hurt you and has Em, I can't lose both of you... I am going so I don't have to lose either of you.... besides.... if I see this man... I don't know if I will be able to stop myself from killing him with my bare hands right on the spot... and I don't want you to be there for any of that..."

"But then you shouldn't go," Meredith begged. "The police will find Em and bring her back... I can't lose _you_."

"I've already booked the flight, I'm leaving soon," Derek murmured and got up to move beside her. He took her by the shoulders and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Please," she whispered.

"I love you Meri," Derek said. "I'll call..." With that, he turned around, grabbed his suitcase, and opened the front door. He looked back once, then closed it, leaving Meredith standing in the kitchen, shocked, terrified, heartbroken, and hurt.

"DEREK!" she called. "NO!" By the time she ran out of the house, Derek's car had already disappeared behind their house, down the path towards the mainland, and now all Mer could see was view of Seattle over the cliff, their cliff. She ran back inside on shaky legs and dialed Lexie and Mark's house number, she got Mark.

"Hello," he said.

"Mark," Mer whimpered.

"Mer," he said, shocked.

"I need you," she cried.

"What... why?" Mark asked. "What has Derek done?"

"He left," she sobbed. "He's gone to Nevada to look for Em himself, he left me all alone Mark!"

"I'll be right over... Lexie too," Mark said urgently.

"Hurry... I can't be alone," she cried.

"Hang in there Mer," Mark said and hung up. Mer sat down at the kitchen table and hugged her legs. She knew her husband was doing this for her, and their little girl. But like he always did, he thought to soon, and didn't think of the consequences. He's trying not to let her hurt so much, but him leaving just makes her hurt more. Meredith is just praying that his plan works, because if it doesn't and Jason actually sees him there, they may be even further away from finding their daughter.

* * *

**Okay... so Derek just up and left to Nevada, leaving his wife. Now many of you will say he wouldn't do that, but he is doing it for her and his daughter, but will this help???? Or will it make matters worse.... The next couple of chapters are going to be a little less of Emily and more of Mer and Der. Especially Der because of what he just did. I want everyone to wonder what is happening to Em...**

**A/N: Happy ending, I will remind you about that :) Also, everyone who reviewed on my author's note will not be able to review on this chapter....**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update... I have midterms and a majorly hectic life that I am trying to get a hold of.... No Derek in this chapter.... just Mer..... there is mention of his impulse though.....**

**I got a review saying that this story is getting boring and that I keep promising a happy ending and showing no results.... but the thing is I am not planning on ending this story for a while and it's a happy _ending._ Things will get worse before they get better, but they will get better I promise.**

* * *

Mark wasn't sure what he would find when he walked into the Shepherd house. He did know however, that depending on the condition of his sister-in-law, he would just be angry, or pissed off at his brother. When he entered, Lexie by his side, Mark Sloan was _extremely_ pissed off at his brother.

"Mer," Lexie called, only the whimpers could be heard. They found her in the kitchen, still clutching the phone. "Oh Mer."

"He just.... he just got up and left," Meredith whispered. "He just... left."

"I'm gonna kill him," Mark hissed.

"No Mark," Meredith shook her head.

"Mer... he..." Mark began.

"It's not his fault Mark," Mer told him.

"Then who's fault is it?" Mark asked.

"I don't have to answer that.... you know..." Meredith said quietly. "It's Derek Mark... he acts without thinking."

"But it doesn't give him an excuse," Mark shook his head and took out his cell phone.

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked.

"Giving him a piece of my mind," Mark said.

"No!" Meredith exclaimed, snatching the phone out of his hand. "I need you to do something for me.... and if you call Derek he'll be suspicious."

"Meredith, Mark, Lexie!" Izzie's call came out of nowhere.

"You called Izzie?" Mer asked them.

"We weren't sure.... we weren't really sure what to do," Lexie admitted. "Iz... kitchen!"

"Meredith," Izzie sighed and ran to hug her friend. "I can't believe he actually did it."

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked.

"The nurses.... they um... had a bet," Izzie admitted.

"The vultures have been betting on my life... my screwed up...." Meredith hissed.

"It's not screwed up Mer it's just..." Lexie said.

"Lex.... my daughter had been _kidnapped_ and my husband ran off to Nevada to try and find her," Meredith said. "If that's not screwed up then I don't know what is."

"It's not perfect, we'll admit it," Izzie said. "But that doesn't mean we give up hope. Now Derek is helping find Em.... if anyone can do it Derek can."

"Yeah... I guess," Meredith sighed.

"And we'll be here for you until he comes back," Lexie said. Mark nodded in agreement and wrapped his arms around his sister-in-law protectively.

"Actually um..." Meredith murmured.

"You're not thinking of going there are you?" Mark asked, looking at her closely.

"Of course not..." Meredith said. "It's just.... Mom.... she invited Derek and I to come to New York for a few days.... especially me.... I was gonna see if the offer still stood even though Derek is gone."

"Are you sure Mer?" Izzie said cautiously.

"Guys... they are my family," Mer told them.

"Hello," Lexie said. "Sister sitting right here."

"I know Lex, but... I think I just need to get out of Seattle for a little bit.... maybe let Kathy and Liz drag me shopping, listen to Nancy bitch about her ex and make me laugh, or...." Meredith got interrupted by Mark.

"I think it's a good idea," he interjected. "If anyone makes you feel better it's Mom."

"Exactly," Meredith nodded. "I'm not running away from it.... I just need a break. Not think about what happened so maybe when I come back, I will have more hope."

"If it's what you want," Iz shrugged.

"It is," Meredith said. "And there is something else." She looked at Mark.

"What?" Lexie and Mark asked at the same time.

"You know Derek.... when he puts his mind to something, there is no turning back.... and I know we won't get him back until she is found or...." Meredith trailed off. "But.... I want to know he's okay.... when he told me he was leaving, he sounded violent and.... I don't want him or Em getting hurt. And I know it's a lot but I was wondering, I don't know."

"Mer, you're rambling," Mark said. "Spit it out."

"Mark," Lexie hissed and slapped him on the shoulder.

"I was wondering if you could follow him," Meredith blurted out, looking directly at Mark. Her green eyes pleading.

"What?" Lexie gasped.

"Your his best friend, his brother.... you're the only help he would probably accept.... and I won't rest until I know that Derek is being safe and not going crazy," Meredith explained. "If he sees this guy, he'd kill him. And that may mean we'd lose Em forever because we wouldn't know where she is. And that can't happened. I need someone to go to Nevada and be his rock. He would send me or anyone else back in a heart beat, but not you Mark."

"Mer," Mark said, still a little shocked.

"You don't have to," Mer sighed. "But, Em is your goddaughter and I just thought..."

"Of course I will go Mer," Mark told her.

"You will," Meredith's eyes lit up.

"If it means so much to you I will," Mark reassured. "I know very well how Derek can be and.... he does need someone there.... and I will be that someone." He looked at Lexie. "Do you mind?"

"If he sees you you can get killed," Lexie fretted.

"He doesn't know me Little Grey," Mark shook his head. "He only knows Derek. I'd be fine, I promise." Lexie sighed and looked at Mer.

"For Em I guess," Lexie murmured.

"That's why you're my girl," Mark smirked.

"I'm you're wife idiot," Lexie smacked him on the chest as he kissed her gently.

"Thank you," Mer whispered, her feelings all of a sudden catching up to her again as she flung her arms around Mark's neck, crying.

* * *

After much sobbing, Meredith finally got herself under control and realized she had to call Derek's sister's and mother to tell them how stupid he really was. Plus, she needed to see if the invite was still available. Thinking emotionally, she decided to call Kathleen. She would be the calmest of them all. Carolyn would start scolding him even though he wasn't there. Nancy, his oldest sister would go off on a rant before Mer could say anything. Liz, his younger sister would hang up right away and call Carolyn. And then Megan, his youngest sister, would skip everyone else and go right to calling Derek which would be useless. Meredith would never get what she wanted out.

"Hello," Kathleen said.

"Kathy," Meredith said, sniffling.

"Mer... wha-what's wrong?" Kath asked immediately.

"He's gone," she whispered.

"What do you mean he's gone.... are you talking about Derek?"

"Yeah," Meredith began.

"My asshole of a brother left you!" he screamed.

"Not me," Meredith covered for him. "He left for Nevada."

"I'm calling in the girls," Kathy said immediately. "And Mom.... they'll want to hear what you have to say."

"But I wasn't," Mer began but she heard Kathy was already dialing. "Finished yet." It took about two minutes for everyone to get on.

"Kath what is this about?" Nancy asked.

"Meredith... tell the-" she got cut off.

"MER!" Meg, Liz, and Nancy exclaimed. "Oh my god... what..."

"Girls.... let her explain first," Carolyn said harshly.

"What I was saying," Kathy said as Mer stayed silent. "Was that Mer needs to tell us what our idiot brother did."

"What did my son do Meredith?" Carolyn said gently.

"He left," Mer whispered.

"WHAT?!" all four of them explained.

"Not me.... to Nevada," Mer said, she was used to this happening by now.

"For Em?" Meg asked.

"No... for a tea party... of course Em!" Kathleen snapped.

"Kathleen Janice Shepherd," Carolyn snapped. "You do not have to get sarcastic."

"Well why else would DerBear be going to Nevada," Kathleen said.

"It doesn't give you the right," Carolyn said.

"Mer... how are you holding up?" Liz asked ignoring everyone else.

"Don't let her say she is fine!" Mark said in the background.

"Markie!" Megan said.

"Hi girls," Mark said dryly.

"I am taking it off speaker now," Meredith said in a monotone voice.

"Seriously Mer, how are you?" Nancy asked.

"As well as can be expected I guess," she shrugged.

"I can't believe he just abandoned you," Kathleen spat.

"It's your brother guys.... he thinks without acting," Meredith defended her husband.

"Your defending him?" Nancy asked.

"I'm sorry, but I have to agree with the girls.... you are clearly more affected then him dear," Carolyn told her daughter in law.

"But I don't have to watch the love of my life fall apart," Mer said. "I get what he was going at, he was acting on an impulse."

"Still..." Kathleen sighed. "You're alone."

"That's why I called," Mer murmured.

"What?" Meg asked.

"Mom.... does the offer still stand even if it's only me?" she asked her mother-in-law directly.

"Of course it does sweetheart," Carolyn said. "And you'll be staying in this house, not at a hotel."

"Staying," Nancy said. "Your coming to New York?"

"Yeah...." Mer said. "I need my family."

"When are you going, I need to book my flight," Nancy asked.

"Saturday sound good?" Mer questioned.

"Perfect," Carolyn said. Hopefully this was what Mer needed.

* * *

**Meredith convinced Mark to go to Nevada with Derek.... will he accept his help in finding his daughter? And what about Mer, will New York really help her????.... The next couple of chapters are going to be a little less of Emily and more of Mer and Der. Especially Der because of what he did. I want everyone to wonder what is happening to Em...**

**A/N: Happy ending, I will remind you about that :) I only got this chapter up because my parents aren't home to make sure I study lol! :) Plus, it's not that hard to study for an orchestra or choir midterm lol!**

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer...... do you think I own it????? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart....**

**Last chapter was focused solely on Meredith. This chapter, starts with Mer and Mark going to the airport, Mark to Nevada, Mer to New York, but the majority of the chapter is Derek (and Mark once he gets there).... At the end I may have Mer arriving in New York or something, I am not sure, I will see when I write it :)**

**A/N: Derek's part begins really soon after he landed that day and then continues to when Mark shows up....**

* * *

Meredith sighed as she collected her final things in her bag. She had no clue what she needed. Knowing her mother-in-law and sister-in-law's, they'd be doing god know's what. Meredith wasn't even sure how long she was planning on staying. In the back on her mind she wanted to stay until Derek got back, but Derek could take forever. He wouldn't be back until Emily was back. Plus, she couldn't impose on Carolyn too long. But she also knew that if Carolyn wanted her to stay longer then she was going to, she wouldn't have a choice.

"Mer!" Mark called, as she heard her front door open. She shivered. Remembering that day all too well.

"Up here!" she said, her voice cracking.

"Your not naked are you?" he asked.

"No," Meredith snapped as he came in.

"Good, because Derek would murder me," Mark said with a smirk.

"Thank you again, for doing this," Mer sighed as he came around the bed and wrapped an arm around her comfortingly.

"Derek and the girls, at one point were my only family...." Mark said. "Now you are, Lex is, and Em is.... I'd do anything for any of you."

"I know," Mer sighed as she reached up to hug him.

"Meredith," Meredith heard Lexie say. She peeked over her shoulder to see Lexie, Callie, and Arizona. Arizona and Callie had not been able to come over last night when everyone had come to say goodbye to Mer, some of them had to still work.

"Hey," Meredith replied weakly as she walked up to her co-workers, now her friends and family. As she hugged Callie, she swore she could hear Emily complementing her hair as she always did.

_"Aunt Cal-eee your hair is soooooo pretty.... even prettier than my Mommy's!"_

She moved to Arizona next. Her name was always too hard for Emily to pronounce.

_"Hiiiii Aunt Zona!"_

When Meredith stepped back she could see in the two woman's eyes that they were thinking the same thing as she was.

"When you come back from New York, I bet you that Derek will be home," Arizona smiled.

"I hope, because that means..." Meredith sighed.

"Exactly," Callie said confidently as Meredith moved to her suitcase. She tried to zip it shut but failed.

"Mark help," she moaned as she sat down on it. Mark shook his head and laughed.

"Goodness Grey," he smirked. "How much stuff you got in there?"

"Mark... we are talking about the woman who raised you.... Carolyn Shepherd.... if I didn't come with enough stuff, she'd buy me more stuff.... and you know she'll insist on me staying for as long as possible," Meredith pointed out.

"True," Mark shrugged. "Knowing Ma, she'd make you stay for at least a month." Meredith sighed.

"What's wrong?" Arizona asked.

"A month," she whispered. "It's been more than a month."

"Mer," Lexie sighed.

"I can't believe it's been a month since I saw my baby girl," Meredith murmured as Mark zipped the suitcase.

"And with Derek helping I bet it won't even be another month," Arizona told her.

"Yeah," she mumbled and retreated to her bathroom.

"Do you really think that New York will help?" Callie asked Lexie and Mark.

"Not a chance," Lexie shook her head. "But... she does need to see the rest of them. It can give her a distraction."

"I always thought that they were the perfect family, and now this," Arizona sighed.

"They are still the perfect family, just in three different places," Mark murmured.

"Let's pray to God that little girl is returned home soon," Arizona said as Meredith came out of the bathroom, her face now blotchy and red, it was clear she was crying.

"Ready," she said.

"Let's go," Mark said, grabbing her bags as Lexie, Callie, and Arizona helped her to the car to go to the airport.

* * *

Derek looked up from the drawer he finished putting all his clothes in. He looked around the room slowly. It wasn't at the best hotel in Nevada, he could have afforded that, but this specific hotel was only a few blocks away from the police station. It didn't matter anyway, he wasn't going to be spending much time there anyway.

"Emily where are you," he murmured as he pulled out a picture in his wallet. It was of the two of them. Meredith had snuck up from behind them when they were on the dock. Derek was fishing and Emily was sitting next to him, watching the water intently. At that moment when Mer snapped the picture, the two of them had turned towards each other, most likely in a laugh. Agitated, Derek stuffed the picture back into the wallet and turned on the TV. It was almost noon, meaning the news would be on soon. And Derek knew, that if the police were really searching as hard as they said they were, there would at least be a brief mention of the case.

Derek sat and watched as the news anchor's talked about shooting, the weather, the latest sports, and just as Derek was about to turn off the TV and call Officer White back home in Seattle, Emily's picture flashed on the screen. Jason's was there too but Derek only focused on his little girl.

_"The search still continues for the two year old girl Emily Shepherd, believed to be in the Austin area. She was abducted from her home in Seattle, Washington over a month ago. She was last seen with a Jason Hartley who is wanted for rape and murder in his hometown of Atlanta, Georgia. The two are believed to be wearing disguises so be on the lookout for anything suspicious. If you have any information on Emily's whereabouts, please contact the Amber Alert or Nevada police hotline at..."_

That's when Derek turned it off. He was satisfied to know that the search still continued, but it was clear they were not working hard enough. Not hard enough for him anyway, Emily was still out there with Jason instead of in his arms. It was now time to make his first in many visits to the Austin area precinct. He left his room and grabbed his keys to his rent-a-car and made his way down the street. Before he even walked in, he saw the WANTED picture of Jason and LOST picture of Emily. Gently he ran his fingers over Emily's picture, he wanted her back so much.

"Excuse me," he said, walking up to the front desk.

"Just a second," the secretary mumbled as she typed away in the computer.

"I don't have a said," Derek commanded.

"Too bad!" she snapped, still not looking up.

"I need to talk to the man in charge of the kidnapping case of Emily Shepherd," he said.

"Do you have information on her whereabout or her kidnapper," she asked, still annoying Derek for she hadn't looked up.

"No..." Derek sighed. "But I wish..."

"We all wish that little girl was safe with her family, but she isn't, and he is busy trying to make that happen so I must ask you to leave sir," she said calmly.

"Actually," Derek began. "I was hoping to hear any leads you had... or pretty much all the information on that case."

"That sir, is impossible, do I have to call security?" she hissed, now turning to the phone.

"Is it still impossible if my name is Derek Shepherd?" he questioned with a smirk. The secretary's head snapped up. "Emily's father," he confirmed.

"Mr. Shepherd... I am sorry... we um... we weren't expecting you," she said surprised.

"Of course not," Derek said nonchalantly.

"If you could take a seat in our waiting area, I will let Detective Wood and Detective Lynch know you are here," the secretary said, now completely flustered.

"That would be appreciated, thank you," Derek nodded and complied. He looked around briefly before turning on his phone. He knew what would happen in about five seconds. Once it was fully on, it began beeping every second. _Missed Calls, Voice Mails, Text Messages_ flashed on his screen. There were over twenty of them. Several from Izzie, Lexie, and Cristina, one from Mark, Callie, Richard, Arizona, and Miranda, many from Alex and George, and an overwhelming number from his mother, Nancy, Liz, Kathy, and Meg. None from Mer.

He shook his head, turned off his phone, and then stood up. Two officers were talking towards him.

"Mr. Shepherd," the first one, a man said, extending his hand to shake his. "I am Detective Wood, this is my partner Detective Lynch... we are the heads of your daughter's case." Derek nodded and shook both of their hands in turn.

"Hello," he said curtly.

"We were not expecting you," Detective Lynch commented. "Is there any reason you are here?"

"Besides the fact that my daughter is with a murdering rapist... no," Derek said dryly.

"I'm sorry," Detective Lynch murmured.

"I've heard that enough," Derek shook it off. "I also came here because my wife and I have heard no news... heard of no leads, since the press conference over a week ago. You have told us nothing and so have the police back home... I came here to find answers."

"And I am sorry, but we can't give them to you," Detective Wood said.

"Excuse me," Derek hissed.

"I think it is in your best interest that you return home," Detective Wood told him.

"I don't think so," Derek spat.

"Mr. Hartley know's what you look like, you could put your daughter in more danger," Detective Lynch told him gently.

"And when you do find her," Derek said. "I want someone in her family to be there... she has been with a stranger for the past month and a half... she deserves to see some familiarity." He felt a rush of anger when she saw the detectives eyes soften.

"I know this is hard Mr. Shepherd," Detective Wood said.

"It's Dr. Shepherd," Derek finally hissed. "And isn't it possible. That if Emily sees me, she'd come running."

"We don't know if he is taking her out," Detective Lynch said.

"You don't know my daughter... she needs to be taken outside, or she wails... she sees me, she comes running, end of story," Derek growled. The Detectives looked at each other and then sighed.

"Would you like to come upstairs, and see our current advances Dr. Shepherd?" Detective Lynch murmured.

"Yes, very much," Derek said calmly. "Thank you." As they led him upstairs, Derek looked around. There were several phones ringing, piles of papers everywhere, and the most evident was the boards that lined the office, each for a specific open case. The one in the middle, the largest, caught Derek's attention. It wasn't just one, it was three. The first one had Emily's picture on it, the next had Jason's picture on it, and the next had a large map of Austin Nevada where they had flags on the area's they already visited. Derek was happy that the number of flags was large.

"Who do we have here?" a man said coming out of the office.

"Captain, this is Dr. Shepeherd... Emily's father," Detective Lynch said.

"Hello Dr. Shepherd," the Captain said. "I am Captain Reese. I assume you are here to see how the search for your daughter is coming along."

"Yes sir," Derek nodded.

"Well... come over here," Captain Reese said as he led his way over to the board. Derek stood in front of the boards and looked intently. He saw pictures from airports, Jason carrying Em or dragging her along. There was one he recognized from Philadelphia International, two people were circled, but it didn't even look like Emily. There was one where there was a girl with red hair, Emily in disguise, who was with a woman he never saw before. The name Gina Phillips was underneath it, and that's when he remembered the woman who indentified her in Philly. There was a picture from the airport in Seattle, Texas and one from the airport here. There was also a picture of the three of them together.

"So far, we have covered these regions," Captain Reese said waving his hand over the map. "We have been going door to door, searching intently, and so far had no luck."

"Okay," Derek breathed.

"We believe that Jason is acting as if she is his daughter," Detective Lynch continued.

"I know that for a fact," Derek murmured.

"How?" Captain Reese asked.

"He called our house a week ago, after the press conference," he sighed. "He let us talk to her for a few minutes, but he was listening in so we couldn't say anything... she just said that her new daddy..." Derek broke off shivering.

"How come we have not been told this?" Detective Wood asked.

"Because," Derek sighed. "The call could not be traced, all it told us was that it was on a prepaid cell phone, and he probably has a stash of them."

"Does he have your cell phone number?" Captain Reese asked.

"No, just the house phone," Derek shook his head. "And now only my wife is home."

"Okay," Captain Reese nodded.

"So... how can I help?" Derek said finally.

"What do you mean?" Captain Reese questioned.

"How can I help in the investigation... I did not come all this way for nothing," Derek repeated.

"Dr. Shepherd... I do not think that is the best idea," he said cautiously.

"I am not leaving Nevada until Emily is found," Derek stated.

"Well you may have to for her safety," Captain Reese said.

"Then I will where a disguise," Derek growled. "My daughter has never been away from us for more than a day... it's been a month and a half... I haven't heard her voice in over a week... I am not leaving her alone in another state and you cannot say anything to me to make me think otherwise."

"You must leave this up to us Dr. Shepherd," Captain Reese advised.

"And you have done such a great job already," Derek scrutinized. "Emily is not found yet."

"These things take time Dr. Shepherd," Captain Reese said.

"All the while he could be abusing her," Derek hissed. "While you just say 'these things take time.'"

"I understand you are upset but..." Detective Wood reasoned.

"None of you will understand how it feels to have the single most important person in your life me taken away unmercifully," Derek yelled.

"Dr. Shepherd calm down," Detective Lynch told him.

"I won't calm down until my daughter is found," Derek said simply and walked towards the door. "I'll leave my cell number with your secretary call me." Derek did that and exited the precinct without another word. He drove his car to the hotel, left it in his parking space, grabbed a picture of Emily out of his pocket, and began walking the streets of Austin.

* * *

_Three days later..._

Derek woke was sitting up in bed, watching TV distractedly. After parading through the streets the past three days he had found no leads to the whereabouts of Emily. The only thing he found out was that he was no longer in the shape he used to be. So that meant he was going to wait until 12 to continue his search. All he really did was show Emily's picture around to everyone, look through supermarket's, malls, drug stores, for any sign of his baby. He made so many copies of her picture and handed it out to everyone.

All of a sudden, someone knocked on his hotel door.

"Who is it?" he called.

"Room service," the voice said on the other side, for a second he recgonized the voice but shook it off.

"I didn't order anything," he said.

"Derek Shepherd! Open the damn door!" the voice now shouted. Now he knew his suspicions were correct.

"Mark," he said cooly, opening the door and letting him in.

"You, are the hardest, stubborn, ass of a man to find," Mark hissed. "I've been searching for you since I landed four hours ago!"

"Why are you here Marcus?" Derek sighed.

"One... Marcus is not my name," Mark pointed out. "And two, you can not do this alone."

"I can and I will," Derek murmured.

"You can't and you won't," Mark corrected. "Plus, your heartbroken wife is worried sick."

"That's just Meredith," Derek murmured. "By the way... how is she?"

"You'd know that she is falling apart if you bothered to call her," Mark narrowed his eyes at him.

"I was waiting to call home until I found something out about Em," Derek sighed.

"Now you have to call New York," Mark told him.

"So that's how they know," Derek muttered.

"Yes... they know... but they weren't surprised... they all know your an idiot," Mark accused.

"So I am an idiot for wanting to get my daughter away from a pyscho path?" Derek questioned harshly.

"No... you're an idiot for leaving your terrified, lonely, and broken wife alone," Mark said.

"It... it was all I could do... I.... I couldn't watch her suffer any longer.... I needed answers," Derek whispered, defeated.

"Have you found them?" Mark asked.

"Sorta..." Derek sighed. "They are trying... just not hard enough."

"For your standards... Derek, you have to leave it up to them," Mark pressed.

"Go home Mark," Derek said dryly.

"Not until you do," Mark said. "I promised Mer I'd make sure you don't do anything stupid... besides.... Jason has no clue who I am... If anyone can spot Em... I can."

"I'm her father," Derek hissed.

"I'm her godfather," Mark pointed out.

"Fine," Derek muttered.

"Thank you," Mark nodded curtly. "So... what have you found out so far..." Derek told Mark the areas he had covered and the areas he still needed to search. Austin Nevada was a bigger place then they thought.

* * *

Meredith exhaled deeply as she got out of her seat. The plane ride had been long and painful, Meredith just thinking about Emily riding in one for the first time. Really the second time, but at that point when they visited Derek's family for Emily's first Christmas, she was only three months old and wouldn't remember a thing. Meredith couldn't imagine how scared she was, or if Jason comforted her or not. The only person that should have been comforting her was herself or her husband.

With shaky legs she walked off of the plane, entering the terminal. The crowd's were enormous and Meredith could just imagine how easily it was for Emily and Jason to get swallowed up and disappear. No wonder the police had had such a hard time trying to locate them.

Meredith walked over to find her luggage slowly. She briefly wondered what Emily was wearing now. What kind of luggage were they carrying. Would it be so long before she sees her, that all her clothes that line her closet will be too small. Just as Meredith spotted her suitcase and lifted it off, she heard her mother in law.

"MEREDITH!" she exclaimed. Meredith turned around and sure enough, there was Carolyn Shepherd, arms stretched wide, ready for an embrace.

"Mom," she whispered as the two women met.

"Meredith," Carolyn repeated. "Oh honey I am so sorry." And just like that, Meredith felt a rush and realized that this was not going to help. Being surrounded by Derek's family without Derek. The family, besides Lexie, that shared Emily's blood. The thought almost made Meredith sick to her stomach, but she realized that no matter how hard it was, that she needed to be here.

* * *

**Next chapter will be a mix of Mark/Derek in Nevada and Meredith with the Shepherd girls in New York.**

**A/N: Happy ending, I will remind you about that :) **

**PLEASE R&R!!!!!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer... do you think I own it? :)**

**Summary: Meredith and Derek Shepherd have the perfect life. Perfect careers, money, huge house, lots of land, supporting family, and adorable two and a half year old daughter, Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. She is the perfect combination of Meredith and Derek. She had Derek's dark, curly hair, but Meredith's emerald eyes, nose, mouth, and laugh. Emily was their world. But it only takes one day for a world to fall apart...**

**This chapter's a mix of Mer in New York, hanging with the Shepherd's, and Mark and Derek in Nevada. Hope you like it!**

* * *

"Come on honey," Carolyn Shepherd broke Meredith out of her thought. "The girls want to see you." Meredith sighed and picked up her bags.

"Okay," she murmured as Carolyn began leading her to her car.

"What's wrong... other then your daughter being kidnapped and you idiot husband?" she asked gently.

"Nothing... what's pretty much it..." Mer told her. "I am that peggable now... but the situation I am in now is kind of obvious anyway."

"Meredith... Derek, I know my son, won't rest until he finds Em, you'll see her again, you'll hear her voice again," Carolyn reassured.

"Derek said that too, before he left... he is always saying it... but Jason, he said that next time we'll see her in person... he said that next time we see her, she'll be dead," Meredith gasped.

"Oh honey," Carolyn breathed, knowing very well what he said but every time she heard it her heart ached more. "Have hope... I said it a month ago and I will say it again and again until Emily is back... right now it is all we have."

"And that's why it is so hard to have," Meredith whispered. "Knowing that that is the only thing I can hold on to. Hope that I will see my daughter again. Hope that he doesn't hurt her. Hope that he doesn't kill her."

"With us by you're side for the next couple of weeks, maybe you can learn how to," Carolyn pondered. "A few days with us Shepherd does anyone some good. Even someone who lost their daughter."

"I have missed you all," Meredith thought aloud, trying to convince herself as well as her mother in law. "But I miss her more... so so so much more." A few tears rolled down Mer's cheek.

"Of course you do honey," Carolyn sighed. "You wouldn't be a mother if you didn't."

"I can't stop wondering what she is doing right this very second," Mer whispered. "What he's doing to her. What she is thinking. If he brain washed her or not. I mean... he raped and abused his own daughter from when she was two to when she died at 12, excluding the two years he spent in prison before he broke out. That's eight years of suffering for his daughter, his own flesh. He did most of it without his wife knowing too before he killed her. What is stopping him now from doing that to Em? He may be forcing her to call him daddy but he isn't her daddy, there is absolutely nothing stopping him." Meredith stepped into her car.

"Don't think of that," Carolyn shook her head. "Anything but that."

"Then what should I think about?" she asked.

"The memories," she told her. "The great times you had with Em, the good and the bad. Plus all of the amazing ones you'll have when you get her back. When Derek is the only one she is calling Daddy... that's what you think of."

"Yeah," Mer nodded. "The memories." She hoped _that _wasn't all she was going to have left of her daughter. On the ride to the infamous Shepherd house, Meredith nodded off, exhausted from her seemily endless flight. She slept peacefully until Carolyn had to wake her for they were at the house. Meredith breathed a heavy sigh as she grabbed her luggage. She hadn't seen the Shepherd sister's since the last Christmas, that was five months ago. She was much closer to them then she had originally expected, mostly with Elizabeth and Kathleen for they were the closest in age to her. Nancy had taken forever to warm up to her enough to be accquantinces and now almost friends and Megan, although the youngest, was very protective of her bother and hadn't like the idea of a post-it wedding. Because in there eyes they were already married, when she first met them Meredith agreed to let them attend a small ceremony in city hall and Meg finally began to like her. But now matter how close she was to them, she didn't really want to see them, especially since it was because of her family's current situation.

"Meredith!" she heard a voice exclaim before she even took a step towards the house. She saw four girls with dark hair begin to fly out of the house, headed for her.

"Hey," Meredith said weakly as Meg reached her first and embraced her.

"Oh Mer... this is unbelievable. I am so sorry about what is happening to you," she said and Mer nodded, used to the phrase.

"If you need to talk more I am here," Kathy told her, now her turn to hug her. Meredith nodded again, already knowing her answer, no thanks.

"I told you not to officially marry that idiot brother of mine... he's a brainless brain surgeon," Nancy sighed and hugged Mer awkwardly.

"I am so glad you are here," Liz finished off, having a hard time hugging her with a large pregnant stomach. Meredith soon got lost in a sea of commotion.

"Girls!" Carolyn snapped. "Do not harass her! She just got off a plane less then an hour ago, she's exhausted. Give her space! She does not need reminding right now!"

"Mom it's..." Meredith sighed but the girls cut her off.

"No... we're sorry Mer," Kathleen said.

"We were just excited to see you," Liz murmured. "It's been torturing us."

"We'll let you get settled into the guest room and take a nap," Meg said, grabbing her bags out of her hand. "You need you're rest." Mereth smiled softly. The four girls, capable to be harsh, all had their mother's kindness.

"Especially since the dinner," Nancy said.

"Nancy Lorraine Shepherd Scott!" Carolyn exclaimed. "I didn't... I wasn't..."

"What dinner?" Meredith asked.

"Tom and Nancy brought the kids up too..." Carolyn explained. "And I thought I would take advantage of the fact that we were all here with dinner but... if you..."

"I don't mind," Meredith shook her head. "If I am here to visit the Shepherd's why not just have them all at once.""

"I'm glad you're okay with it," Kathleen said.

"Now let's get you to a bed," Carolyn commanded as she saw her yawn again. But it wasn't only the yawn, it was the shakiness of her hands, the unsteady voice, and the tears glittering in Mer's eyes, knowing that she wanted an escape.

* * *

"So what's the plan now?" Mark asked once Derek finished reviewing what he had done so far.

"I was going to keep on searching... I thought that was obvious," Derek said cooly.

"Okay... handing out pictures is not searching, it's not helping," Mark informed him.

"How do you know?" Derek asked harshly.

"One... her picture and his is all over the news," Mark said.

"Shut up," Derek muttered.

"Hey, it's true," Mark defended. "And two, if you hand her picture to the guy accidentaly, who knows what will happen... what he'll do to Em... what he'll do to you." Derek shuttered just thinking of Jason laying a hand on his little girl.

"I would not do that... and am not stupid," Derek hissed.

"I'm not saying you are," Mark sighed. "But how do you know? Who knows what kind of disguise he has, on her and on himself."

"Then what do you suggest we do?" Derek whispered, looking down.

"You said the police won't except your help because he knows you... that bastard doesn't know me," Mark said. "Maybe they'll except mine?"

"Let's go to the station," Derek nodded and grabbed his coat.

"Good," Mark smiled and followed his friend out. "So where is it? Do I need to go to my room and get the keys to my rent-a-car?"

"It's a few blocks away," Derek shrugged. "We're walking."

"So you don't have a car," Mark asked. "Because walking is pathetic."

"The airport is far away from here... what do you think I walked there too?" Derek asked. He reached into his pocket next to the room key and grabbed the keys. "Happy."

"Very... because who knows where we will need to go," Mark said. "Especially if they let us help."

"I may need a disguise or something... he knows me," Derek said.

"And dye you're hair... no thanks... You're wife sent me out here to help you, she'd kill me if I let you do that," Mark informed him.

"Even for Em... wait... SHE sent you out here... I thought..." Derek said, a little shocked.

"You Derek Shepherd... should stop thinking," Mark shook his head. "Because you are brainless, you may have a big heart but..."

"It's my daughter Mark," Derek shook his head. "She's out there and we don't know if she is okay. We haven't heard from him... he hasn't been spotted. We've been given false hope after false hope and I needed answers. I needed to try myself."

"I understand that, Mer understands that, but..." Mark said.

"But nothing," Derek said as he came to the car and got in, Mark next to him. "I need her back Mark. Jason or whatever his alias is now has taken her across the country and back, away from us, I need her back."

"Of course you do Derek," Mark shook his head. "There's no doubt." Seeing his friend so desperate he sighed. "So what are we going to tell the officers?"

"That he doesn't know you, that you can assist wherever needed," Derek told him.

"What have they been doing so far?" Mark questioned.

"They've spread out all over the city," Derek said.

"I thought this place was supposed to be small?" Mark said.

"There isn't a big population, which is probably why Jason chose to come here, except at the same time it doesn't make sense seeing that Em should be found by now," Derek sighed.

"Could they have been somewhere else the whole time?" Mark asked.

"Not likely since the next major places is miles from here," Derek said.

"What is that?" Mark asked.

"Eureka I believe... I was thinking of traveling up there, the police told me they were searching there as well," Derek said. He stepped out of the car after he pulled into the police station. Mark followed him inside.

"Mr. Shepherd... we weren't expecting you today," the secretary he now knew as Karen informed him.

"This is my best friend Mark Sloan," Derek introduced. "Emily's godfather... he showed up unexpectedly to help so..."

"Go right up, Captain Reese and Officer Lynch are up there right now," Karen told him, not looking up again. "Nice to meet you Mr. Sloan."

"Technically it's not," Mark said. "We wouldn't be meeting if..."

"Come on Mark," Derek rolled his eyes and pulled his friend towards the stairs. "That was rude."

"She was a bitch Derek..." Mark said.

"I won't disagree but..."

"Dr. Shepherd... what are you doing here?" he heard Officer Lynch ask.

"Oh... this is my friend Mark Sloan... he's Em's godfather and he showed up unexpectedly so..." Derek explained.

"Officer Amelia Lynch," she said, sticking her hand out to shake his. Mark obliged.

"Since you won't let me help officially because he knows me... I thought Mark could help since he's never seen Mark before in his life," Derek said.

"Dr. Shepherd... that was not the only reason... you should both go home and let us do our job," she told them.

"Officer Lynch, no offense... but... this place doesn't have a big population, if you are having this much trouble finding Em..." Mark reasoned.

"The population is over 500," Officer Lynch said cooly. "While that is not as much as say... Philly... where Emily was taken previously... here in Austin, besides the main part of town where we are now, everyone is more spread out, more distant."

"All the more reason to let me help," Mark said. "I would give my life for that little girl. My wife would understand." Mark hid a smirk as she saw her eyes darken when he said wife.

"Surely you have children," she said.

"We just got married six months ago," Mark nodded. "No kids yet." He folded his arms against his chest. "I am here to help and will do anything you need. I am here for Derek and if he isn't leaving, I'm not." At this point Derek was very grateful for his friend.

"Very well then," Officer Lynch sighed. "Captain!"

"Yes... Dr. Shepherd... what are you doing here?" he asked. Derek sighed and explained everything again.

"Come and see what else we found out then," Captain Reese nodded and led them over to the bored which has changed since. "We have several of our computer technologists create these images." He ran his hand over the several images now on a fourth board. "These are computer generated images of the possible changes of hair color and eye color that Emily and Jason could have." Derek gasped looking at the picutres of the little girls. None of them were his Emily, none of them looked like her, but one of them could very possibly be her right now.

"So..." Mark said.

"We are going to being putting these out as well..." Captain Reese explained. "Now about Mr. Sloan helping us out..."

"It's Dr. Sloan," Derek corrected.

"A doctor as well?" he questioned.

"He is... but continue," Derek nodded curtly.

"I am not sure how he can be used I am afraid," Captain Reese told him. "What we have been doing so far is scanning the city, going door to door, trying to find any evidence of either of them."

"And why can't Mark help with that?" Derek asked. "More people."

"We'll think about it," Officer Lynch nodded, looking at Captain Reese. "But... we know that you will do it anyway so... if you find anything out, here's my cell number and the number to the station." She handed them a card. "And here are copies of these pictures." She handed them a folder.

"Thanks," Mark nodded. "We'll be in touch." Mark looked at Derek and the two exited the room.

"So where do you want to start?" Derek asked.

"I was thinking lunch," Mark smirked. Derek looked at him in shock. "We can't find her on an empty stomach."

"Whatever," Derek sighed. "You're treat."

"Yeah right," Mark scoffed. "Where?"

"I've been eating in... but there's a bistro across the street from the hotel," Derek told him. "There?"

"That's fine," Mark smiled. "You're treat?"

"My daughter's missing," Derek said flatly.

"Touche," Mark muttered as they got into the car and drove to the bistro. The hostess sat the down and they order their drinks.

"So where do you want to start?" Derek asked.

"It's only me who can do this Derek, you know that," Mark sighed.

"Okay... what do you want to do after we get me a hat and sunglasses," Derek said. Mark shook his head.

"Um... houses?" Mark questioned.

"We can't just go up to a house and say, 'Hi, we are looking for that bastard Jason Hartley who kidnapped my daughter Emily... are you that bastard'," Derek shook his head. "We are not police and if it is Jason we get killed."

"Then what do you propose we do?" Mark asked.

"Say we are taking a survey?" Derek shrugged.

"Of what?" Mark asked.

"Do you ever really take the survey when people come up to your door?" Derek asked.

"No," Mark said.

"We just need to see their face and compare it to the picture's," Derek told him. "We can change it every other time."

"Well are you the smarty pants," Mark muttered.

"I am a brain surgeon," Derek beamed.

"And I am a plastic surgeon," Mark huffed.

"Well I save people, I don't give face lifts," Derek smirked.

"Burns Derek, I take care of burns!" Mark exclaimed. "I-"

"Sorry for interrupting... Here are your orders," the waitress smiled.

"Thank you," Derek nodded.

"And can I just say that you two are a very cute couple," she said sweetly and walked away just as Mark was taking a sip of his water.

"COUPLE?" he choked out and water spewed out everywhere. Derek chuckled.

"Maybe that can be our next alias," Derek smirked.

"Shut up ass!" Mark hissed.

"Come on it was kind of funny," Derek laughed.

"I... I won't even address that," Mark shook his head and delibrately looked down at his food. For the first time since Em was kidnapped, Derek didn't have sorrow overpowering his heart, he wasn't thinking what he would do if Jason killed her, he was thinking what they would do, the fun they would have, when they got her back.

* * *

Meredith woke up to the sound of footsteps running through the hall. That's how she used to wake up. Emily running into her room screaming 'Mommy, Mommy wake up! I want to give you a kiss!' She sighed as she swung her legs over the bed. It was already 4 o'clock meaning that most of the family was probably downstairs.

"Now or never," she muttered and looked into the mirror and brushed her hair. She had to at least make her appearance look like she was okay even though inside was a different story. Because inside Meredith was bursting with rage, sorrow, heartbreak, longing to hold Emily in her arms again. Gently Meredith pushed the door open, the footsteps had to be kids running downstairs and now she was alone on the floor of the house.

"Let's get this over with," she sighed, running her hands through her hair as she made her way down the stairs. Immediately she was overwhelmed by a flury of adults and kids. As her eyes scanned the room, she desperately tried to remember all of their names.

Nancy was married to Tom, they had four children, twins Henry and Rebecca who were 13, David who was 7, and Amy who was 5. Kathleen was married to Matthew, they had five children, Michael who was 12, Sarah who was 10, Joshua who was 7, Alyse who was 4, and Morgan who was three months old. Elizabeth and Sean had five kids, one on the way. They were Kristen who was 13, Jenna who was 9, twins Kevin and Bridget who were 5, and Audrey who was 2, luckily the next baby was a boy they were naming Ryan. Finally Megan and Greg had four children, one on the way, Lauren who was 12, Connor who was 8, Sammy who was 4, Jessica who was 1, and the boy they were expecting next they were naming Andrew.

"Aunt Meredith!" she heard a little voice say. It was Audrey, the closest to Em. Close behind her was Alyse and Sammy. She watched as the three little girls ran up to her and threw their arms around their waist.

"We didn't know you were coming," Alyse giggled.

"Yeah," Mer smiled slightly and ran her finger through her trademark Shepherd dark hair. "It was last minute."

"Hi Aunt Mer," Rebecca, Lauren, and Kristen greeted her with slight smiles. They were older and knew what was going on.

"Hi guys," Mer smiled as more of the family realized she was there.

"Aunt Mer, where's Uncle Derek?" Sammy asked.

"Oh um..." Meredith whispered.

"And where's Emi?" Audrey asked and Mer gasped a little.

"Audrey!" Kristen exclaimed. "I told you..."

"It's fine Ali," Meredith sighed.

"No it's not Mer," Liz sighed and came up to her youngest. "Audrey Marie what did I tell you?"

"I forget," she murmured.

"You remember," Liz said sternly.

"Not to talk about Em," she whispered.

"And why not?" Liz guided.

"I forget," Audrey said. Liz sighed and took her hand gently. Meredith closed her eyes tightly as Elizabeth led the little girl away. She sighed and walked towards the rest of the family

"Meredith," Tom, Nancy's husband said. "I am so sorry." He hugged her tightly and Mer felt comforted by the manly embrace.

"Thank you," she nodded as Sean, Liz's husband hugged her.

"How are you holding up?" he questioned.

"Best I can... knowing the police are looking for her helps," Meredith whispered.

"If there's anything we can do," Greg, Meg's husband said.

"There's not much, but this helps," Meredith reassured as Matt, Kathy's husband hugged her next.

"I'm glad you came here," he said and Mer smiled. That was the first greeting that didn't directly mention the situation.

"Thanks," Mer nodded and broke apart from them. She looked to see some of the younger kids around so she wiped away her tears. She felt Amy tug on her shirt, Nancy's youngest.

"Aunt Meredith, can you play with us?" she asked sweetly. Mer opened up her mouth to say something but Nancy interrupted.

"Not right now Ames," she told her. "Aunt Meredith is coming to the kitchen."

"But last time Uncle Derek told us that Aunt Mer couldn't cook," David, Nancy's seven year old said.

"David!" Nancy scolded but Meredith started laughing, a few more tears coming out of her eyes.

"It's fine," Meredith said. "Yeah, I can't cook very well Dave." Nancy still smiled apologetically while she led her to the kitchen.

_"Mommy what you doing? Daddy tolded me you no allowed in kitchen cause you makes big big fire!"_

She found all of the Shepherd girls in there, even Liz with Audrey. Liz turned around and prompted her daughter.

"I'm sorry Aunt Meredith," Audrey whispered, tears in her eyes.

"It's okay sweetie," Meredith put on a fake smile and hugged her young niece. "Why don't you go find Sammy and Lysee, they are still in the living room." The little girl's face lit okay.

"Okay!" she giggled and ran out.

"I'm so sorry Meredith," Liz sighed. "I didn't..."

"Liz," Meredith grabbed her hand. "It's fine."

"No it's not... I should have..." Elizabeth murmured.

"It's not your fault at all," Meredith sighed and sat down in the chair between Kathleen and Carolyn.

"Do you want some coffee honey?" Carolyn offered.

"Yeah... coffee would be good," Mer murmured. Carolyn got up and began pouring a cup for her.

"So... how our idiot brother even bothered to call you yet?" Megan asked. "Because..."

"No... and neither has Mark," Meredith told them.

"Mark?" Kathleen asked. "Why would Mark call you?"

"I didn't tell you guys," Mer looked up as Carolyn set her cup in front of her. "Well... I was rushed off to bed as soon as I came but... anyway... I asked Mark to go to Nevada with Derek, or follow him there because I didn't trust him."

"You Meredith Shepherd... are genious," Liz said. "If anyone will talk Derek to coming back it's Mark."

"No," Mer shook her head. "Not coming back... helping him... Mark is Em's godfather, he would do anything for her just like Der and I."

"I guess that is smart too," Carolyn nodded. "But isn't it dangerous."

"We don't know," Meredith shrugged. "Aparently he had a gun when he attacked me but... he couldn't take it to Philly on the plane... so who knows."

"Well then... since Derek won't answer any of our calls..." Kathy said. "Time to call our other brother."

"Oh guys... I..." Meredith began but it was too late, Kathy already had the phone to her ear.

"Mark... MARKIE! You answered!" Kathy said. "Yeah she's here... yeah she told us... you were right and um... here... okay I will, hold on for a sec." She set the phone down and put it on speaker.

"Hello," Mark said.

"Hi Mark," the girls chimed in.

"Hello Mark," Carolyn said.

"Hi Ma, hi girls... and Mer right?" Mark asked.

"Yeah, I'm here," Meredith said weakly.

"How our brainless brother doing?" Nancy questioned immediately.

"Crazed, obsessed," Mark answered. "And worried sick. About Em and Mer."

"He lost the right to care about Mer when he left her alone!" Liz snapped.

"He did it for a good reason guys," Mark sighed. "This place, as small of a population it has, is huge and spread out and... we're lucky that they let us help."

"They're letting you help," Meg gasped, shocked.

"They really are," Mer murmured.

"They are," Mark nodded.

"What... what... Mark... how is it looking?" Meredith asked cautiously. "Any leads?"

"Not yet Mer, I am sorry... like I said, everyone is spread out... they haven't even covered half of the house in the past two weeks," Mark said gently.

"Oh," Meredith whispered, her gaze dropping to her lap.

"But they've been thorough, don't you worry Mer... they'll find her," he said confidently.

"Yeah," Mer sighed. "Um... I... I'm going back up to bed..."

"Okay dear," Carolyn sighed. "We'll send someone up for you when dinner is ready, that sound good." She grabbed her hand gently as she stood up.

"Mhmm," she murmured and sulked up the steps.

"Guys, take care of her," Mark said, worriedly. "She's like my sister and... I care about her and... I'm really worried."

"Mark... take care of him," Carolyn told him.

"I will," he promised.

"And we will," Liz promised.

"Bye... we'll be in touch," Nancy said.

"Bye," Mark said and the line went dead.

"Will it ever end?" Meg asked.

"I don't know," Kathy shook her head.

"Let's just hope the two of them take care of themselves as well," Carolyn nodded and looked towards the steps where Mer disappeared, not knowing that she was currently crying herself to sleep.

* * *

**Next chapter will be whatever... not sure yet haha! Things will probably continue with Mer in New York and Derek in Nevada... possibly Mark gone... things will slow down a little bit until something happens...**

**A/N: Happy ending, I will remind you about that :) **

**PLEASE R&R!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I have a disclaimer... do you think I own it? :)**

**This chapter was really really really hard to write... this is one of my most popular stories and I hate it that it is so hard to deliver. I am having a lot of writer's block so if any of you want to help... I will tell you what I was thinking about but it continues the rutt of nothing really developing in the story... Well you'll see... this chapter is not really that... this is mostly filler, more boring stuff, but a big thing happens at the end...**

**Also, blame my friend VerySpecialAgentTiva who got me into the show NCIS! The past three weeks that I have not updated was because I was watching it but luckily... um... I have finished hah! So... blame her for my hiatus :)**

* * *

_"Mommy! Mommy! Lookee! Look at me!" Emily giggled as she rode her tricycle down the long driveway. "I go fast! Fast, fast, fast!"_

_"Not too fast Emi... be careful," Meredith warned._

_"Otay," she nodded and began peddling faster. Meredith laughed and shook her head. Out of no where she veered towards the woods, disappearing into the brush. "Mommy!"_

_"Em hold on, I'm coming!" Meredith called, running towards her, but when she got there, Em has disappeared. "Em!" she called again and began searching the bushes. "Emily!"_

_"Mommy!" Meredith heard her call, she seemed further away before. _

_"Emily!" she screamed._

_"Mommy!" Emily called again, her voice getting scarce._

_"Emily!" Mer called again but was met with silence, complete and utter silence. "EMILY!" she sobbed._

Mer woke with a start, her eyes looking towards the ceiling of Carolyn Shepherd's guest room. It has been two weeks since Mer has arrived in New York. Two weeks of 'relaxation' if that's what you would call it. If relaxation meant sleepless, nightmare filled nights.

The past two weeks Meredith has gone shopping, out to countless dinners and lunches, seen Wicked the musical for the first time, had spa days, and everything else galore with the Shepherd sisters.

Every once in a while Cristina, Izzie, Lexie, Alex, Callie, or Arizona would call to check up on her, tell her the happenings at the hospital, or just to chat. Every day, Mark would call, telling her everything they did that day with the case and where they did not find Emily. But never the two calls she wanted, the two calls she needed.

One of them being from Derek, saying he is sorry for leaving her alone but that it was all worth it. The other from the Seattle police department. Both about her daughter being found, alive.

By now it has been two months. Two months since she last saw her little girl, her life, her love.

She was beginning to feel lonely, trapped, scared. Scared for Em, scared for Derek, scared she may never see either of them again. It seemed as each weel, day, hour, minute or second passed that it would be less likely for Meredith to see her little girl again.

She just needed a call, saying that she was okay, that she was alive. And even now she felt like it was a long shot. Jason would not budge. That ass that has her daughter would never give her back willingly.

Their only hope was the reward. Having it started at $1000, Izzie's collection was now at $10,000 and still growing. Even that was a long shot. She felt like she was paying for her daughter and that sickened her. Really she was paying for the capture of Jason.

Meredith's life felt like a drabble. Her pain prolonged. Every minute without Em was like she died a little more inside.

What Mer would like to do would be live her life as she would with Em. Stop her wallowing and go on. Wait for her to come home. But if she did that, Meredith felt like she was giving up on her duaghter. Not caring, and Meredith could not do that.

As long as there was hope Mer would wait. And waiting meant wallowing.

She wondered how Derek was going. Was he close to finding her? Or is he waiting like she is, hurting her for no reason?

As she spent time with Kathy, Liz, Megan, and even Nancy when she was there; Meredith began to resent Derek.

For leaving her alone.

That was the effect of the sisters in his family. They loved him unconditionally but still hated him when he was being an ass. And leaving Mer was classified as a major ass, even if it was to find their kidnapped daughter.

Kidnapped.

She hated that word. _Kidnapped_. She was stolen from her, right out from under her, like she was a possesion. She wasn't a possesion. She was her daughter. She own flesh and blood.

Mer could remember every detail about her. Her smile, her laugh, the way her curly hair fell on her shoulders, the exact spot her dimples were, the place where she like a ponytail put. Her distinct cry Meredith could always tell it was hers. Her love for her parents. Their love for her.

Meredith got this overwhelming feeling to run. Run away from her misery. Run home. Wait for Emily to come home.

"Meredith?" she heard Carolyn Shepherd say. Immediately Meredith shut her eyes as the door creaked open. They opened again as it was shut.

She was going home. And Meredith prayed that somehow, Emily was waiting there for her.

* * *

Derek looked at his cell phone in remorse.

_Mer's cell._

Slowly and cautiously he clicked the 'call' button. Placing it to his ear he heard the phone ring once. Jumping from the sound, his pulse racing, he clicked 'end.' He heard the dial tone.

In Derek's mind he thought it sounded like a flatline.

He shook his head to clear it and looked towards the alarm clock in his room. It said 6:30 am, meaning it would be 9:30 am in New York where Mer was.

He was a coward and Derek knew it. He would go to great lengths to protect his daughter and his wife, but at the moment, he was doing neither.

He was a failure.

They made no advances in the investigation. The only thing that they did was eliminate the places where Emily was not. At the moment, there was a stretch of 10 miles they have not covered yet. In those 10 miles, maybe 230 residences. Not a lot, but the entire thing would take another two weeks because of how far apart they are.

It was going no where. If Emily was not found in any of those places, they would have no leads, they would probably never find her.

"Why the hell are you up so early," Mark growled as he turned over in the bed. He looked over at him. "Don't answer that."

"Thanks," Derek nodded.

"Where to today? he asked. Derek got up and moved to the large whiteboard and posters they dragged into the hotel room. There was a gigantic map of Austin and other surrounding areas, many X's and question marks. There were also push pins of three colors. One blue, one red, and one yellow. The blue was where the police were covering. The red were where the detectives were covering. And the small amount of yellow pins were Derek and Mark's places.

Mark and him were almost finished, there were two places left. One was another hotel on the other side of town, and the other was a large apartment complex just on the outside of Austin.

"Either the Best Western across town or..."

"I say the Best Western," Mark said. "He seems to like those. That's where they were in Philadelphia."

"Good idea," he said. "Breakfast?"

"Room service?" Mark said.

"Sure," Derek nodded. "I misplaced the menu last night though."

"When you were drunk off your ass," Mark scoffed.

"Do you blame me," Derek hissed.

"Why don't you call Mer?" Mark said.

"Shut up," Derek growled. "I will when I am ready... I'll be back, going to the front desk." Derek walked down the stairs and looked around the lobby. There were not that many people there, but Derek had made sure he knew them all. There was only one child, a six year old girl named Ashlyn who asked her parents to buy her a bear and gave it to him. 'For Emily Mr. Shepherd, when you find her... she deserves something to hold on to, she is probably scared,' was what she said. The only reason they knew who he was and who Emily was was that they recognized him from the televised press conference. It gave Derek some hope that some people saw and cared. But it also scared him into a disguise while investigating places.

"Hi Mr. Shepherd," the young girl said.

"Ash don't run," her mother said. "Hello Derek."

"Hello," he smiled, fake of course.

"What are you doing today?" she asked.

"What I do everyday," he nodded.

"Good luck!" Ashlyn giggled. "You still have my bear?"

"I do," he nodded. "I'll see you guys later." He walked back to the elevator and back to his room.

"NO!" he heard Mark boom. "ABSOLTUELY NOT!"

"What?" he asked.

"He needs me... I can't... aren't there others?" he yelled.

"Mark?" Derek asked.

"You ass!" he screamed and snapped his phone shut.

"Mark!" Derek yelled. Mark turned around. "What's wrong?"

"Richard... he's making me come back home," Mark growled.

"That's all," Derek said. "I thought it was the police... saying... saying, well, I don't know."

"You're not angry," Mark said. "Because... I want to help and..."

"You've helped tremendously," Derek sighed. "You are my best friend Mark and I am so glad you helped... it's almost out of our hands again and although that makes me angry... I am grateful enough as it is to have had Richard let you take off and for you helping me... you can go home... I can look at the last places myself."

"Really?" Mark said.

"Really," Derek nodded. "Thank you Mark. I... I couldn't ask for a better friend."

"She's my goddaughter..." Mark shrugged. "And go... I can move out on my own, go find her."

"Thanks Mark," Derek said again. "Say hi to everyone for me."

"I will," he nodded and hugged Derek. "Find her Derek... and call Meredith."

"When I'm ready," he sighed and went into the bedroom to get ready for another days work.

* * *

"Meredith," Izzie exclaimed as she rushed for her in the airport terminal.

"Hey Iz," Mer sighed.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't have to answer that Iz..." Meredith said.

"Mama Shepherd or Emily?" Izzie asked.

"Both..." Mer sighed. "Carolyn kinda felt betrayed but... she understands at the same time."

"It will be fine," Izzie reassured.

"I am just waiting for the call I will get from the girls once they get to Mom's house and sees I am no longer there," Meredith chuckled slightly.

"Well... give the phone to Cristina... she'll give em a mouthful," Izzie said. "She's had a lot of Mer deprivation."

"Speaking of Cris... does anyone know I am back?" Mer questioned.

"No... I left the house right after you called and forgot my phone," Izzie shrugged.

"Mer?" they heard her name get called. They turned around to see Lexie standing there.

"Lex," Mer smiled, happy to see her sister. "What are you doing here?" She asked when she hugged her.

"I was going to ask the same thing," Lexie said. "But... Mark... he's..."

"Mark, does that mean... is Derek... are... Emily..." Meredith babbled. Lexie looked down.

"It's just Mark... there's a high profile case and... Chief needed him," Lexie explained.

"He left Derek alone," she choked out.

"As stubborn as Derek Christopher Shepherd is... I think he will be fine Mer," a newer voice said.

"Mark!" Lexie exclaimed and flung herself into his arms. "I missed you."

"You too Lex," Mark nodded. "So much." He looked up. "Mer... what are you doing home?"

"It was too much," she shrugged. "It was time to come home... How, how is it going?"

"Almost done," Mark nodded and hugged Meredith. "If he's still there with her... he will be captured and she will be back home within two weeks."

"And if he's not," Meredith questioned.

"They've been monitoring all ways out of the town..."

"Town? I thought it was..."

"This place is small but spread out, which is why it is taking so long."

"But... they are almost done, that's a good thing..." Lexie added.

"Then why isn't Derek home?" Mer asked.

"He's prepared to... move wherever... wherever the investigation goes," Mark admitted.

"Of course," she muttered and walked off.

"This is not going to end well," Izzie murmured. "For any of them is it?"

"No Iz," Mark sighed. "No it's not."

"Perfect," Lexie whispered and watched Meredith stalk off.

* * *

_Two weeks later..._

Derek couldn't believe how hard it was to find an apartment complex on the outskirts of this small part of Nevada. And the police were no help in helping him find it. But now, photos in hand, glasses and hat disgusing him, and his longer beard, Derek sat in front of a tall building which Derek was surprised had many cars parked outside of it.

He walked into the office.

"Hello, can I help you?" the man at the front desk asked.

"I don't know," Derek shrugged. "Are you the owner of this place?"

"Yes I am... who are you?" he questioned.

"I can't tell you... but if you watch the news you will know soon enough," Derek said.

"Every room in this place has cable... except mine," he said. "So no. Who are you?"

"Derek Shepherd," he said in a low voice. "My daughter Emily was kidnapped."

"And you're trying to find her, here... I can usually spot abnormal people and everyone here seems nice enough," he shrugged.

"Mr..."

"Rivera," he nodded.

"Mr. Rivera, could you take a look at these photos for me?" Derek asked.

"It couldn't hurt," he said curtly, putting his glasses on. Derek handed him the photos.

"This," he pointed to the picture of Emily. "Is my two year old daughter... and this," he pointed to Jason's picture. "Is her captor." The man said nothing, just kept staring at them. "Sir... do you..." Still nothing. "Then I guess I will be on my..."

"Wait!" Mr. Rivera exclaimed and pulled out his computer keyboard and began typing furiously. Derek held his breath. A minute later Mr. Rivera turned the computer towards Derek.

"Does this look like your daughter and her captor?" he questioned. "Amber and Mike Jacobs." Derek looked at the picture of a man with dark brown hair and blue eyes, and a girl with curly blond hair and gray eyes. Nothing like his Emily.

"It's not..." he began but froze when he spotted the small birthmark that was on her shoulder, shape almost liked a quarter moon, that was Emily's birthmark!

"What room," Derek said, his voice so low and like a growl that it did not even begin to sound like him. "It's them."

* * *

**Cue cheering... (But not too much cheering, btw sorry!)**

**A/N: Happy ending, I will remind you about that :) **

**PLEASE R&R!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's! I only own Emily and that bastard Jason! **

**Okay, so it seems a lot of you agree that this story is in kind of a rutt, so no, it's not going to be shorter, but there will be different kind of angst that will keep Meredith and Derek going. It's no longer going to be depressing, sad but… well you'll see. You guys are starting to miss Emily as well, but that will end next chapter (; So I hope you all continue writing this because this is a difficult fic to write, it makes me depressed but since I started and most of you like it, of course I will continue lol! If I decided to stop writing (not that I want to), I am pretty sure I'd get hunted down haha! **

**Okay, enough rambling… here's the next chapter (which deals directly with the aftermath of last chapter)**

* * *

_"Does this look like your daughter and her captor?" he questioned. "Amber and Mike Jacobs." Derek looked at the picture of a man with dark brown hair and blue eyes, and a girl with curly blond hair and gray eyes. Nothing like his Emily._

_"It's not..." he began but froze when he spotted the small birthmark that was on her shoulder, shaped almost liked a quarter moon, that was Emily's birthmark!_

_"What room," Derek said, his voice so low and like a growl that it did not even begin to sound like him. "It's them."_

"Room 329," he answered. "Are you sure sir? They seemed like a nice little family… I was…"

"They are not a nice little family," Derek snapped, slamming his fist on the counter. "That is my terrified daughter who has been taken from me for 2 FUCKING MONTHS!

"I'm sorry Mr. Shepherd," the man said. "I just meant if you were sure that this was them… I do not want one of my tenants harassed for no reason."

"It is not no reason if it eliminates another place where my daughter is not, it brings us another step closer to finding her, whatever the results," Derek growled. He turned and began walking towards the stairs.

"I am not allowing you to just go up there Mr. Shepherd… if it is him, I do not want to be responsible for your death, I saw the news, this man is dangerous," the man said. Derek immediately flipped open his cell phone and dialed the first number he saw, Detective Lynch.

"Hello Dr. Shepherd… how can I help you?" she asked.

"I found her," he murmured.

"Are… are you sure Dr. Shepherd, the last time you thought you found her we almost arrested an innocent man," she said cautiously.

"This girl has the same birthmark as my Emily, it's her, she's been staying in that apartment complex, that last place I was to look… she is here Detective Lynch. She was here the whole time," Derek said, keeping his voice calm.

"Portable to central," he heard her say. "We have located the whereabouts of Emily Shepherd and Jason Hartley…" Derek's voice tuned her out, barely catching the words. "All units." And. "He may be armed." And finally. "Silence your alarms."

"Dr. Shepherd," she said to him. "Stay where you are, do not go up to him. Stay in the lobby, I repeat, stay in the lobby. You will not know we are coming, we do not want to give him another chance to escape."

"Okay," he murmured. He was finally going to get his little girl back. A little overwhelmed, Derek collapsed into a nearby chair, his hearting pounding, the room spinning. All he wanted was Emily back. All he wanted was his best friend to be with him, to keep him calm. All he wanted was his wife.

He wondered what Meredith was doing right now. In New York, or back in Seattle. Completely oblivious that her daughter was finally going to be returned to her. He thought doing this was a mistake. But it was because of him that they found where he was. He knew Mer would be angry with him, but now she wouldn't be.

"Dr. Shepherd," Derek heard Detective Lynch snap him out of his thoughts.

"Detective," he gasped.

"Do you want to join us?" she asked kindly. "Emily will want her daddy. Her real daddy." Derek smiled widely.

"Thank you," he whispered and got up. He followed the group of 6 or more cops hustling up the stairs. His heart began beating faster as they approached room 329.

"It's the police, open up!" Detective Lynch shouted. "We've got you surrounded!" Nothing happened. "Open the door!" Still nothing. "We're coming in!" One of the officer's karate kicked the door open and Derek watched in shock as they burst in the room, going to save his little girl. Or so he thought.

When Derek finally got a glimpse of the room, his heart sank.

* * *

"I mean… they dragged me to see Wicked," Meredith slurred, her head almost resting on the edge of the bar. "It was fun… but not… ME; I don't see Wicked. I don't shop."

"But you do eat," Alex reminded her. "They took you out to eat." He sat there, staring at his friend in astonishment. He could not remember a time where Meredith got this drunk. Even before her pregnancy with Emily. At that time she and Derek were happy. Nothing was wrong. For years their lives had actually fallen into a blissful peace. Until that man walked into the hospital with his dying daughter. The daughter that probably wouldn't have been dying if he hadn't kidnapped her or abused her. Alex shuttered thinking that he kidnapped Em and could be doing anything to her at the moment.

He shook his head to get the thought out.

"What was I thinking," Meredith rambled. "I love them but they are girly, they are bright and shiny… I am dark and twisty." She downed another shot of tequila. "How was that supposed to help me… tell me!"

"You're not dark and twisty Mer," Izzie reasoned. "You're…"

"Scary and damaged," Mer finished. "Another one Joe…"

"Meredith," Joe sighed, reaching where she was. "I think you're done."

"My _daughter_ has been kidnapped Joe," Mer slurred. "And my husband has left me to find her. Let me ALL alone."

"One more," Joe said as Meredith turned to her friends.

"He LEFT me," she exclaimed. "All… all… alone."

"But Mer you have us," Lexie said.

"I'm all alone," she sighed. "And so is my daughter. And now so is Derek."

"Mer," Mark cut in. "Not that I am defending him or anything, but he seemed to be a big help. We seemed to help a lot. We allowed the police to search the more important places sooner."

"More important?" Mer asked.

"Hotels, apartments, things like that," Mark told her.

"Well what did you guys do?" Mer questioned quietly.

"We went door to door, pretending to be survey people in disguise… we had a picture on our clipboard instead of a survey, and just compared the faces," Mark told her. "We eliminated hundreds of houses for the police. And it was amusing seeing Derek in his disguise because he had to look the most different."

"Do you have a picture?" Alex asked.

"If you think it will cheer me up it won't," Mer informed them, downing her final shot and grabbing her coat.

"Where do you think you are going Mer?" Mark asked.

"Home," she said. "To my empty house. Where my daughter AND husband should be waiting for me… but my husband is too busy interfering and probably screwing up the whole fucking investigation and losing Emily forever."

"Mer don't think like that," Izzie said.

"If anything he is helping bring Em back quicker," Lexie reassured.

"When something happens to prove that is when I will believe it," Mer said and moved towards the door. Alex was quick to jump forward and snatch her keys. Meredith looked at him, sighed, but let him lead her to her car; she got in the passenger's seat. She said nothing the ride back. She didn't get out on the ferry, she barely acknowledged Alex's presence. When he parked her car for her and hopped into Izzie's car who followed them; Mer didn't even wave goodbye. She just walked into her house and plopped down on the couch. Curling up in a ball.

Most likely she'd end up sleeping there. She didn't have the energy to get up the stairs. She wasn't even sure if she'd make it to the bathroom when the effects of all the alcohol she consumed set it.

That was why when the phone rang, Meredith had barely stumbled in time to catch it.

"Hello," she whispered into the phone.

"It's his fault you know," a husky voice said. She thought she recognized it, but in her drunken haze she couldn't put her finger on it.

"What? Who's?" was all she mumbled out.

"That idiot husband of yours, he's the reason I did what I did… why I left Austin," the man said again.

_Austin._

This was Jason. And he was saying he must have seen Derek and it drove him away.

"He should have listened to the police," Jason laughed and it made Meredith's blood curl.

"No," she whispered as the line went dead and the phone fell out of her hands. The tears fell immediately. "NO NO NO NO NO!" she sobbed and collapsed onto the floor. What did he do? She had no clue. That's when the doorbell rang and the breath she was sucking in to continue her sob got caught in her throat.

"Hmmmm," she moaned as she pushed herself to her knees and hoisted herself up to her feet. With slow shaky legs she answered the door. It could be an axe murderer for all she cared. She gasped, tears still running down her face when she saw who was on the other side of the door.

"Derek."

**

* * *

**

**Okay, so how I see this story going is that, no, I don't want it to end. No I don't want it to be short. And no, I do not want it to continue drabbling in the direction it is going. So what did I decide to do. No, not get rid of the angst. But bring in a different angst for Meredith and Derek. Most of you probably know what it is and will probably dislike it. But see it as a way they are distracting themselves from the reality. Very much like they did in my other fics Stuck in the Middle and Love Can Never Be Forgotten hehe (:**

**But anyway… please please please review! It makes me update faster which you all love, granted the next update is either If Only I Knew or Love Can Never Be Forgotten but the sooner I update them (which are almost finished btw) the sooner I update this fic!**

**I could always use more ideas so I would appreciate it if you decided to share a way you would like this story to go, I will give you full credit!**

**A/N: Also, I was wondering if you could all vote on my poll on my profile. It's for my next fic (it's NCIS and I will write it after I finished LCNBF and IOIK), and if you watch NCIS you will know why it's an Israeli character, but even if you don't I would like you to vote on it anyway. Thanks! I already have a general idea on the name but I just want to be sure.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily and the bastard that kidnapped her… no one else :(**

**IMPORTANT: I changed my penname from merder4ever33 to LyssLovesTiva33, so this is still me, still written by the same person, just under a different name.**

**I am warning you now, when you read the end of this chapter, you will hate me and probably want to stop reading this story… but I BEG of you, do not give up on it so easily, things are different then they seem… that is all I will say. I REPEAT, THEY ARE DIFFERENT THEN THEY SEEM… and with that… here is the next chapter…**

* * *

Derek sighed as he took in the appearance of his wife, or rather the smell. The first thing he noticed was the stench of tequila that wafted towards him. He was shocked. Meredith had not picked up a drink since they had the idea of having a child. She never wanted to.

Other than the smell, her hair was a mess. It looked like it hadn't been washed for days. There were circles upon circles underneath her eyes. She looked exhausted. She looked like she all but gave up.

"Meri," he breathed, reaching his hand out for her cheek. Derek sighed when she flinched away. "Mer."

"What are you doing here Derek," she choked out. Her voice was low, almost inhuman. Not his wife.

"I live here," Derek told her.

"But our daughter is not with you," Mer said calmly. "That's why you left me right? To bring our daughter home."

"Mer… I-"

"SHE'S NOT WITH YOU!" she screamed.

"I tried Mer… I," Derek choked out.

"You left me all alone!" she yelled.

"I know," he whispered.

"I… I can't look at you," Mer spat. "Not right now it's just… I can't Derek."

"I'm sorry," Derek murmured.

"Not good enough," Meredith growled and slammed the door in his face. Derek jumped back, narrowly escaping the door hitting his nose. She was drunk, she needed time. On the other side of the door he heard Mer's sobs.

"I'll be back tomorrow Meri," Derek sighed and turned around towards his car. He had nowhere to go.

Mark's? No, his wife, Lexie Grey, would most likely share his wife's view on what he decided to do. Owen's? Unless he wanted to get murdered by Cristina, no. Arizona and Callie's? Absolutely not. They were his friends but he didn't need their constant questioning.

Izzie and Alex's?

They seemed the most logical. Alex, protective of Mer, was also very good friends with Derek. He had his own impulses and could at least begin to understand why Alex left. Izzie, one of Mer's best friends, was also protective of her friend; but Derek knew that she was rational. She, unlike Cristina, would hear Derek's side of the story before killing him. She was sympathetic.

Even with all of that logic, Derek's hand shook as he rang the doorbell of Izzie and Alex's house. It was a feeling all too familiar, seeing as he has done this before. Except back then he was just a cocky attending, hardly knowing what love really was. He had stood on this porch seeking forgiveness, but back then it was with Mer.

"Hel-" Izzie began but broke off. "Derek," she muttered coolly. Derek sighed. Maybe it will be harder then he though.

"Iz who is at the door?" Alex asked.

"Hello Izzie," Derek sighed. "Hello Alex."

"Shep," Alex nodded his head curtly.

"You are probably wondering why I am here," Derek said.

"And not at your own house!" Izzie interrupted. "YEAH! Why aren't you with Mer? Hasn't she suffered enough without you already!" Alex put a hand on his wife's arm.

"I think what she means is, why aren't you going home?" Alex asked. "Home, home."

"Because she kicked me out," Derek murmured. "So she really was suffering."

"She was Derek," Izzie snapped. "You left her alone. She already lost your daughter and…"

"I know," he said, angry with himself. "It seemed like a good idea in my head."

"Everything seems good in your head at first," Alex said. "But eventually it always seems to lead to idiocy."

"So she kicked you out?" Izzie said. He swore he could hear some compassion behind her question.

"If you could consider it that," Derek told her. "I didn't even make it off the porch. I didn't even… get to explain."

"Derek," Alex said. "Mer just called us before you came. Mentioned nothing of you being home… but she got a phone call."

"From the police?" he asked hopefully.

"No," Izzie shook her head. "From Jason." Derek's shoulders slumped and he leaned against the doorframe in defeat. The bastard beat him to it.

"What he say?" Derek rasped.

"That it was your fault, all your fault that he did to Emily what he did, why he left Austin," Izzie explained.

"Well I knew that," Derek told them. "He left a note."

"Why don't you come in and tell us your side of the story," Alex suggested. Derek only nodded and allowed them to lead him inside to the couch.

"Where should I start?" he asked.

"Mark explained what you guys did up until he left, so, start there," Alex said.

"I went to the last neighborhood to do the survey thing," Derek explained. "Disguise and all, I went door to door, it took about two weeks without Mark."

"Did you find his house there?" Izzie asked.

"No, that was my last neighborhood… from there I went to an apartment complex on the outside of town where once I cleared the landlord of suspicion, I showed the pictures to him," Derek continued. "He showed me a picture of a father and a daughter, Amber and Mike Jacobs, who have lived there for the past month, about Emily and Jason's age."

"Was it them?" Alex questioned.

"Not at first, they were disguised… but Em had a tank top on," Derek told them.

"The birth mark," Izzie said knowingly.

"I called the police, they came silently, and we went up to the apartment," Derek said. "There was no answer at the door, so they kicked it open and what we found…" Derek gulped. Izzie grabbed Alex's hand in shock.

"What?" Izzie choked out.

"The room was trashed, except for the table that held his laptop, a few of his used phones, two notes and…" he trailed off.

"What?" Alex asked.

"A piece of the dress Emily was wearing on the day she was kidnapped," Derek sighed.

"Oh Derek," Izzie murmured.

"The first note said that he saw me, explaining to the police everything he did while there and how they didn't catch him," Derek explained. "He taunted them."

"And the second," Alex asked.

"Was addressed to me," Derek sighed. "Saying that this was the last thing I would ever get to hold on to my little girl. Mer was right it's all my fault." He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Yes it is," Izzie nodded, Derek looked up at her shocked. She grabbed his hand. "But you were doing what any father would do to protect his child."

"They would have found them eventually if I had not gone there, why couldn't I have listened," Derek snapped, standing up.

"If Iz and I ever have children," Alex told him. "I'd have done the same thing for them."

"But I bet you would have helped, not screwed everything up," Derek said.

"Enough of your pity party Derek," Izzie said. "Go upstairs to the guest bedroom, sleep it off, go into work tomorrow, and act like it is a normal day. I will talk to Mer."

"Thanks Iz," he murmured, not bothering to argue with her that he could not act like it was a normal day. He was halfway up the stairs before he turned around. "Thanks for listening to my side."

"What are friends for," Alex shrugged as Derek made his way to the bedroom, laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Missing his daughter. Missing his wife.

* * *

"Hear him out Mer," Izzie begged as she followed her friend around the halls of the hospital.

"And you call yourself my friend," Mer muttered. "He abandoned me!"

"You weren't like this before you left for New York," Izzie informed her.

"I had time to think in New York," Meredith argued.

"He has an explanation you need to hear from him Mer," Izzie told her.

"Izzie," she snapped.

"It's different then what that bastard said… there would be no problem if he hadn't beaten Derek to telling you!" Izzie defended.

"But he did," Mer pointed out.

"Hear him out Mer! You haven't even seen him all day, he's a mess! He has no clue what to do with himself!" Izzie exclaimed. "Richard only has him on consults and scheduled you completely away from him! He's lost!"

"As he should be," Meredith hissed. "I was lost without him."

"You were in New York the whole time, you wouldn't have been with him anyway if he had come, the girls would have done the exact same thing they did to you then," Izzie pointed out. Meredith stopped abruptly. She was right.

"Does he regret it?" Mer asked quietly.

"With all his heart," Izzie nodded. "He just wants to talk to you." And just like that, Meredith ended up in the cafeteria, sitting across from her husband. They sat there in uncomfortable silence.

"Derek… Izzie said you wanted me to hear you out," Meredith said. "I'm listening." Derek sighed and began repeating everything that he has been saying all day. Except this time, he went into more detail. Making sure his wife knew that everything he actually did, actually helped the investigation. Up until Jason must have spotted him.

"So that's it," Mer nodded.

"That's it," Derek murmured.

"Jason… he… he said that…"

"He's a bastard Meredith, he took our daughter, of course he would say things that would hurt you," Derek said.

"I guess you are right," Mer sighed.

"So you forgive me?" Derek questioned.

"Not yet," Meredith said. "But I will." She gave him a small smile.

"I missed you so much Meri," Derek said, reaching out to push a stray piece of hair falling down her face behind her ear.

"I missed you too Der… I-" she broke off when her cell phone began to ring. She picked it up and gasped.

"What?" Derek asked immediately.

"We need to go to the police station," Mer said anxiously, jumping up. Derek was right behind her. They said nothing on the ride over. The car was full of tension. No longer towards each other but towards the development of their daughter's case. Whatever it was that they found that it was so urgent they come.

"Dr. Shepherd, welcome home," Officer White said to Derek.

"You can scold me later for what I did," Derek snapped. "Why did you call us down?"

"We had some development in the case, the detectives from Austin have been working closely with us," Officer Martin explained.

"And…" Meredith whispered.

"They were able to hack into his computer and see that he recently bought a ticket heading towards New Orleans," she explained.

"And after that towards Minnesota," Officer White continued. "At first they thought he was only leaving a trail, but they assume he figured that he would be able to establish a new identity before they found their place in Nevada and began following his movements."

"No one could find him in any airports in Nevada, but they found blond hair dye in the sink indicating he now is a blond… in the airport in New Orleans they caught up with him," Officer Martin explained. "They are sending the Minnesota airlines security footage over here now… but here is Jason in New Orleans."

They put the frozen picture up on the big screen.

"This is Jason," they said, pointing to a man who had a little girl clutching to his hand. "And this is Emily. We found them again. Once we see the footage from Minnesota, we will hand it off to them and follow his movements once again. They are very hopeful."

"We got it sir," a man said from behind the desk. He typed away at his computer and eventually the picture was transported onto the big screen.

"Officer Martin can show you two to our conference room, you can wait there while we try and locate Mr. Hartley again, we must assume he changed appearances again," Officer White said.

"Sir!" another officer said. "We found him!" Everyone's head snapped towards the screen. There Jason was. Same disguise as before. Same clothes. But there was one other thing. One major thing.

The video was still playing, and they watched as Jason turned his head towards the camera.

"Zoom," Officer White commanded and they obeyed. The image distorted, you could barely make out the menacing smile on his face, and his hand waving at them. As if he knew they would watch this eventually. But that was not the 'one major thing.'

"No," Derek whispered. Tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

On the tape, there was no little girl clutching his hand. Looking terrified as she had before. There was still no little girl as they followed him into security and onto the plane. Emily was gone.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Meredith let out a gut wrenching sob, collapsing to the floor.

"I'm sorry," was all the officers could choke out.

* * *

**THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY SEEM! I REPEAT! TRUST ME!**

**Please review, the more reviews I get, the sooner I will update! Especially after leaving it like that…**

**And this story is going into yet another different direction then it was going to, after I got a random amazing idea when I read an anonymous review to my story (that I deleted only because I do not want to give it away to anyone). So, like I said, continue reading, this story is going to have a lot more twist and turns, but will most definitely turn out happy at the end (:**

**A/N: Do you think you could all take the time to look at my profile and vote on my poll for the title of my first real, long, NCIS fic… and if any of you read NCIS fics could you take a look at my three-shot NCIS fic entitled Crossfire… thanks! (:**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily and any other OC's we meet along the way… everything/everyone else is owned by Shonda!**

**I wanted to ask any NCIS fans to check out my NCIS Tiva child three-shot entitled Crossfire, or to vote on my poll in my profile for the title of my first long, multi-chapter NCIS fic… there are two options; An Angel's Pain and New Found Angel, I cannot seem to choose (the description of the fic is on my profile page) so even if you do not read NCIS ff I would appreciate it if you could just tell me your favorite title for it…**

**This chapter was pretty hard to write, not sure why since I had it in my head. It didn't really go the way I planned so tell me if you think I should fix it or whatever. If any of you have any better ideas I would be glad to hear them and I will add them in/rewrite this chapter... thanks! WARNING: ANGST!**

* * *

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Meredith let out a gut wrenching sob, collapsing to the floor._

_"I'm sorry," was all the officers could choke out._

"Where is she!" Derek exclaimed. "Where is my daughter!"

"She's… She's not there Dr. Shepherd," Officer Martin shook her head.

"Well where is she then," he growled.

"H-he… Jason, he got on the plane alone," Officer White told him. "Emily is not there."

"How do you know it is him?" Derek hissed, glancing down at his distraught wife.

"We are not sure," Officer Martin commented.

"Well the next time you imply my daughter might be dead you better be pretty damn sure," Derek growled and bent down beside Mer. "Meri…"

"No," she cried. She began hitting his chest. "No, no, no, no!"

"Meredith," Derek sighed.

"Y-you you killed our daughter," Meredith screamed shoving him away from her. Derek's eyes widened and he jumped back from her.

"Mer," he whispered, shocked.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" she screamed. "Get AWAY!"

"Stop it," he hissed.

"I want you out of the house," Meredith continued. "When I come home I want all of your things gone! I want them GONE!"

"Mrs. Shepherd, calm down-" Officer Martin said coming beside her.

"YOU!" she hissed. "You didn't help us. You only gave us false hope, and now there is NONE!"

"Like your husband said," Officer Martin reasoned. "We do not know if Emily is dead until we are sure that is Jason." Meredith glared at her.

"He is NO husband of mine," Mer said, her voice low. Derek visibly flinched. "I see it in your eyes. I see that that is Jason. And I see that my daughter is not with him. I see that she is DEAD because of you! Because of all the idiots who don't give a damn!"

"You are making a scene Mrs. Shepherd," Officer White said.

"Its Ms. Grey now," Meredith shook her head. And now was when Derek's eyes blazed with anger.

"If you want to act like this Meredith that is FINE!" Derek screamed. "Don't come CRYING to ME when _you_ can't handle being alone again! YOU ARE NO WIFE OF MINE! My wife doesn't act like this! They were trying to help us!"

"Just like you tried to help," Meredith said. "You were a coward Derek."

"At least I TRIED! Not got DRUNK!" Derek yelled.

"I am going to ask that you guys leave NOW!" Officer White interrupted. "Before we have you both arrested for public disturbance!"

"Gladly," Derek muttered and pushed past Meredith. "Good luck getting home without a car Meredith!"

"I'll take the bus," she screamed after him. She turned back to the room of shocked police officers and detectives. "I guess I am going to start planning my daughter's funeral." With that she left as well.

"That went well," Officer Martin muttered. Officer White turned back to the frozen screen.

"We failed," he whispered, his head drooping.

* * *

Derek got in his car and drove. He wasn't going anywhere. He was driving in circles. He would have kept driving but the gas needle dropped to E.

Slowly Derek drove into the gas station in a trance. He started pumping the gas, put his credit card in the machine, and slammed his car door.

He felt tears threatening to spill out of his eyes, but he was still too fumed to let them fall.

He couldn't believe how quickly they blew up. An hour ago they were making up, completely confident that their daughter was going to be found in either New Orleans or Minnesota but now… now his daughter was dead. He lost his wife. He lost his house. He lost everything.

Emily. His daughter. His sweet green eyed princess was gone. She was gone forever. He would never hear her giggle again. She'd never call him Daddy again. He'd never have a family again. Everything that was important to him was gone. The only thing he had left of what he once had was crumpled in his pocket.

Derek reached in to pull out the note from Jason. He never thought that the piece of the dress was really going to be the last thing he had of him. Derek brought the cloth up to his nose and breathed it in.

Emily.

It smelled like apple juice and lavender. His Emily.

"EMILY!" he screamed and stomped towards the wall of the gas station. With as much force as he could, his fist collided with the brick wall. In pain he jumped back, gasping, and grabbing it. "SHIT!" And just like that Derek fell apart, slumping against the wall he let himself go. Crying, no sobbing for the things he lost.

His house. His wife. His friends (inevitably). His daughter. His life.

"Sir," the man from the gas station said as Derek began to calm down after twenty minutes of sitting there. "You need to move your car." Derek nodded numbly, standing up, his hand throbbing, Derek returned to the Land Rover. He continued driving around until before he knew it, he was sitting outside the hospital.

In a trance Derek made his way inside, telling a nurse to page Dr. Torres. She walked in.

"Derek," Callie gasped. "Wh-What happened?"

"I punched a wall," he shrugged, showing her his bruised up and red hand.

"Oh my god," she gasped. "You need an x-ray."

"I don't have time for that," he muttered. "Just set it and put it in a cast. It hurts but I can move it… I did drive here."

"You drove here?" she asked shocked. "Where is Meredith?"

"Probably burning all of my property," Derek shrugged.

"What?" she questioned. "Why?"

"Because I killed my daughter," Derek murmured.

* * *

Meredith drove on autopilot towards the hospital. Her anger towards Derek was gone, or at least hidden for the time being, and was replaced with depression, complete and utter defeat. When she stumbled in the front entrance and up towards the surgical wing, it was clear her friends were not expecting her.

They had seen them leaving the hospital, they knew there was development. If she looked any way close to how she felt, she knew they knew.

"Mer," Cristina gasped. "What's wrong?" Meredith ignored her and stood in front of Izzie.

"Mer," Iz gasped, shocked at the condition she was in.

"Iz," she whispered. "I need…"

"You need what Mer?" Izzie questioned.

"I need you to plan her funeral," Meredith moaned and collapsed in her friend's arms.

"Em," was all that Izzie could choke out.

* * *

**I told you that there was going to be a lot of angst. *sheepish smile* Like most of my fics, things will get worse before they get better, and they WILL get better. I finally am no longer stuck, I KNOW what I am going to do (: So just sit down and enjoy the bumpy ride, just keep reading and you will be pleased, I promise you! THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY SEEM!**

**So PLEASE review, the GREY'S GODS WANT YOU TO (stolen from VerySpecialAgentTiva except hers is NCIS)**

**A/N: Reminder to vote on my poll or read my fic if you are into NCIS fanfiction, thanks! And… REVIEW!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it :( It was all out at Walmart!**

**Last chapter Meredith and Derek had a blow out fight, and like I said, everything will get worse before it gets better… but you will be half happy/ half upset at the end of this chapter… I am actually getting into the next part of the story. I am out of the woe is me, depressed Meredith and Derek. They still feel like that, but they are taking it out on each other.**

**This chapter is more of a filler but major things happen still.**

* * *

"You did not kill Emily," Callie told Derek for the fifth time in the past hour after he forced him upstairs for an x-ray.

"Tell that to my wife," Derek sighed. "I mean… ex-wife."

"Derek Shepherd stop playing martyr," Callie snapped. "She is still your wife, you are Meredith and Derek, everything will work out."

"Even after my daughter is dead?" he whispered. "Because Jason saw me in Nevada."

"You don't know she is dead yet," Callie reminded him.

"She's not with him, as he went on the plane," Derek said. "She's either alone and scared and starving… or dead."

"I'm so sorry Derek," Callie sighed as he finished wrapping Derek's left hand in a cast. He nodded and got up. "Where are you going?"

"Back to my house to get my stuff, and then check into a hotel I guess," he shrugged.

"Nonsense," Callie shook her head. "One, you can't drive. Two, you can't pack up your stuff by yourself. And three, no friend of mine is staying in a hotel when Ari and I have an extra room."

"No," Derek said. "I can't impose."

"You need your friends at a time like this, at least until you and Mer make up," Callie said.

"If we ever make up," Derek hissed.

"Stop saying that," Callie scolded. "You stay here while I go get Arizona." Derek sighed and sat down, not really sure why he was complying but did it anyway. Two minutes later he was practically knocked off the exam table as Arizona wheelied into him.

"Oh my god Derek," she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "I am so so so so sorry about Emily."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed.

"And don't even think about staying in a hotel, you are coming home with me and Calliope," Arizona said.

"Okay," he sighed again. Arizona eyed him suspiciously.

"Let's get you home," she nodded and pulled him out of the room and towards his car. Derek fought the urge to smile. He did have some pretty awesome friends. But just then he froze. If he and Meredith got a divorce, there went Izzie, there went Alex, George, Lexie, hell even Cristina. And following suit of their lover's maybe Owen and even Mark too. Callie and Arizona were the only ones to have been his friends first, other than Owen and Mark but their hands were tied because of Cristina and Lexie.

He was in a daze as he grabbed as much of his clothes that he could fit in his suitcase, his laptop, and everything else of his he could find. Just as Derek was ready to leave his house, in the corner of his eye he saw Beary sitting on the mantle.

Tears glittering his eyes he touched the bear gently. Something his baby girl would never do again. He messed up, big time. And it cost Derek his family.

Callie placed a hand on his shoulder and helped lead him out of the house that held too many memories. Maybe it was a good thing he was leaving, because maybe it would make remembering those memories, a little less painful.

* * *

Izzie, Alex, Cristina, George, and Lexie all gathered around what used to be Meredith's kitchen but was now just Izzie and Alex's. They were looking in on their friend, who was curled up on the couch in a heap on tears.

"What are we going to do?" George questioned.

"We can't let her go on like this, it's too painful and it's too… she can hurt herself," Lexie said. They all looked at Izzie.

"Why do you think I know what to do?" Izzie asked.

"Because Mer was the one who pulled you off the bathroom floor," Cristina said.

"Dead fiancé, dead child, it is close enough," Alex said.

"It is not close enough; I hardly knew Denny and hardly loved Denny… Meredith carried Em around in her stomach for nine months before having her for two and a half years, it is not close enough, I have no clue what to do," Izzie hissed.

"Well neither do we," Cristina said.

"And you call yourself her person," Lexie said.

"If we don't hug each other, we do not cry together," Cristina said.

"You are a great friend Cristina," George hissed.

"Shut up Bambi, I don't see you doing anything," Cristina told him.

"Stop calling me that," George growled.

"Well if you would," Cristina began but Izzie interrupted.

"Stop fighting," she yelled. "This is not helping Meredith and this is not helping us! We… we all loved Em… she was part of our family and…"

"She's gone," Lexie choked out.

"Meredith and Derek are not going to be the only ones who are grieving," Alex mentioned. "But can we stop fighting so we can help Iz plan her funeral. After that… we have all the time in the world to grieve."

"I…" Cristina began but froze. "How do you… how is there a funeral when we have no body?"

"You bury an empty casket," Izzie said. "And fill it with things of Emily's I guess. It would have… a headstone and everything."

"We shouldn't be talking about this," George shook his head. "We should be… I don't know, planning her third birthday party, not her funeral."

"3 months," Izzie sighed. "She always said she was so close to being three."

"And now she never will be," Lexie whispered, a tear falling down her cheek.

"What… what are we going to do about Derek?" Alex asked. "He's our friend too."

"They are separated Evil Spawn," Cristina said. "And the fact that you are here with Mer says you chose which side you are on."

"And where do you think your fiancé is," George said. "At Callie and Arizona's, where Derek is staying for now."

"Same with Mark," Lexie mentioned.

"Our family, it is never going to be the same… is it," Izzie sighed.

"No duh Barbie," Cristina said. "No matter how much I hate little kids, I even tolerated the munchkin."

"So… flowers…" Alex said. "She loved lavender as much as Mer right? And lilies, those are customary." They all stared at Alex in shock. "What, you think I have never been to a funeral?" He said a little too loud, making the now silent crying Mer on the couch hear and cry out.

"Look what you did now Alex," Lexie hissed and ran to comfort her sister.

"It's not my fault," he said. "It's that bastard's fault."

"Derek or Jason?" Cristina asked. None of them had an answer. They all knew it was Jason's fault, but the fact that Mer was so broken made them furious at their friend as well.

* * *

"You don't have to Mer," Izzie said a few hours later as Meredith had the phone in her hand. "I'm sure Derek has already called." Mer winced at his name. "Sorry."

"Lexie, you talked to Mark," Mer whispered. "He didn't call did he?" Meredith looked closely at her sister, trying to figure out if she was going to lie or not.

"No," she sighed giving Izzie and everyone else a helpless look. "He didn't."

"Then…" she said and pressed the call button.

"Mer," Cristina tried to stop her but Meredith just stood up and walked towards the front door.

"Meredith dear," Carolyn Shepherd greeted. "It's so nice of you…" She froze when she realized that at the sound of her voice, Meredith took a sharp breath. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not your daughter-in-law anymore Carolyn," Meredith said, flinching as she no longer used the word Mom.

"What on earth do you mean?" Carolyn asked.

"I guess I will see you guys once more on Saturday," Meredith mumbled.

"Meredith honey I am not following," Carolyn said.

"Is that Mer," she heard Kathy pipe up and heard a click. She was on speaker.

"Saturday, the last day I will see you… ever," Mer whispered.

"Why?" Nancy asked, worriedly.

"Because that's when we scheduled her funeral," Mer choked out.

"Mer," Liz whispered.

"She's dead… Emmy's dead," Mer cried.

"Nuh-No," Carolyn choked out. "I refuse to believe that Meredith."

"You have to," Meredith whispered. "I did at first… but all the evidence… she's dead Mom."

"Oh Mer," Megan murmured. "I… I just… no…"

"Why are you no longer my daughter Meredith?" Carolyn demanded.

"Because Derek is the reason she's dead… we're done, we're finished. We cannot come back from this… it's impossible," Meredith whispered.

"No, you can't," Nancy said. "Mer you just… can't."

"I'm calling a lawyer… I'll see you on Saturday… call Derek for any more details… bye," Meredith whispered and hung up.

"Mer," Cristina sighed.

"I really loved them," Mer whispered. "They were a great family… I am going to miss them so much."

Everyone sprung into action, knowing water works were coming again. Their hearts broke for Meredith. For Derek. For Emily.

* * *

Derek looked up at Mark with his blood shot eyes as he saw 'Mom' come up on his caller id.

"She called them," he whispered. "She beat me to it."

"Do you want me to talk to them for you?" Mark asked.

"No, I have to be a man," Derek sighed and hit answer.

"Before you yell and scream at me… I know I messed up, I know I am an ass, and I know I deserve to die," Derek said.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd, don't you dare talk like that," Kathleen snapped before Carolyn could say anything.

"Guess I'm on speaker," Derek murmured.

"Oh Der, I am so sorry," Carolyn whispered. "I… you should not have to go through this."

"You are not mad?" he asked.

"Why on earth would we be mad?" Nancy questioned. "You just-just lost your daughter."

"Because it was my fault," Derek sighed. "For losing Emmy, for losing Meredith. I lost my family and it was my entire fault."

"Nonsense," Megan hissed.

"It may feel like that," Carolyn scolded. "But the only man responsible is Jason. That bastard is the only person at fault here. Not you. And when both you and Meredith figure that out… lawyer's will be the last thing on your mind."

"She's called a lawyer already," Derek gasped.

"Oh Der… I thought you knew," she sighed.

"No… she flipped out at me mom… and I did not have any say until it was too late and we were both too angry," Derek said. "It's over."

"The hell it is!" Liz said.

"Face it…" Derek shook his head. "You'll see Saturday. Mark told me all the details. It starts around 10 am, our church. You can follow the hearse to the cemetery. Bye." The line went dead. He looked up at his friends again.

"She called a lawyer?" Arizona asked.

"My life is over," Derek gulped.

* * *

"Come back here you brat!" a man with a voice Erin did not recognize as she ran through the woods. Her little legs carrying her as fast as they could away from him. The voice was not her daddy's. But it was the man her daddy left her with. Howard.

Tears ran down her face as she let out a scream of anguish. She could hear his rustling footsteps getting closer.

This man hurt her more than her daddy did. This man scared her. This man's eyes were so dark and so full of hate.

_Howard_.

The name did not fit. He was a mean man. Meaner then her daddy. In Erin's mind she called him a monster. He looked like a monster.

"ERIN!" he screamed. That was her new name, for now. At least while she was living with Howard. She actually wanted to go back to her daddy.

Erin tried to get away faster, but with her increased speed her little legs got tired and were easily tripped by a branch that got in her way. She fell forward into a pile of rubble, her face scratching against the leaves and brush that littered the ground. Fearfully Erin turned around and looked up.

"Gotcha," the monster hissed as he loomed over her. Her brown eyes wide with fear as his almost black eyes looked at her longingly. He covered her mouth with his hand and she felt something stab her arm. That was the last thing Erin remembered before the world went black.

* * *

**I will let you sit on that. I know, I am evil lol! But I need to keep you all in for the bumpy ride (:**

**Please review! THE GREY'S GODS WANT YOU TO!**

**A/N: If any of you read NCIS fanfiction, check out my profile and vote on my poll for the title of my first multi-chapter fic… here is its summary:**

**Ziva centric. Ziva David has always shown an interest towards children, but when 10 year old Aliah McCallin is found at a crime scene, she never expected the connection to be so strong. No one on the team expected how quickly she would weasel her way into their hearts. But when it's discovered that they have similar pasts, Ziva will stop at nothing to protect her, going as far as to admitting something that could risk her position on the team. As they dig deeper into the past of this young girl, one of Gibbs' rules is the least of their worries. The team soon finds themselves in a race against time to save Aliah, NCIS, and prevent a terrorist attack that would make 9/11 look like a normal day in New York City.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Sorry for the wait but school work got ahead of me but at the moment I am ahead of it so I will be updating as often as I can!**

**Disclaimer: I only own the characters you do not see in the show…**

**So things look really bleak for this story right now, but the end of the next chapter (just like last chapter) will please you and make you hate me at the same time, but this time it is not so vague. Also, be prepared for a time jump that will happen, I won't tell you how long, but there will be one. Two actually, one soon, and one after that…**

**There will be two chapters of Emily's funeral, one with POV's of her family and one that is the POV of Mer/Der and someone else *wink wink* **

**This chapter is part one of Em's funeral which means not a lot of Mer and Der but a lot of other characters, flashbacks, etc. I took this approach to change the view and shake things up… once these chapters are over, things will slowly begin to look up. I am actually close to fixing everything because of the time jumps. There will be one thing that will make all of you really really happy and give you hope, just stay with me till that happens in about four, maybe five chapters ;) ENJOY!**

* * *

"Iz, you ready?" Alex called from the bathroom. There was no answer. "Iz?" he called louder.

From the mirror, Izzie was shaken out of thought. "Huh," she mumbled, looking at her reflection and the black dress that she was wearing.

"I said are you ready?" he repeated, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Can you um… zip me," Iz gestured to her open back. Alex nodded and came up from behind her, zipping her dress up.

"You're a good friend Iz… doing this for Meredith and Derek, even if they were speaking I don't think they could have done this without you," Alex said, wrapping his arms around her waist as resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Do you think they will survive this?" Izzie asked. She was talking about Meredith and Derek's relationship. After hearing Mer's side of the story, the both of them reached out towards Derek. Both were right and both were wrong in what they did. Both of them were unwilling to forgive the other and it was pissing them off.

"Realizing that this is reality may help," Alex said. "They will need each other these next few months."

"I still don't believe it," Izzie whispered. "It cannot be true."

"They haven't found her body yet but… there is no other way unless he just left her somewhere… in that case…" Alex trailed off.

"She'd be dead by now," Izzie shuddered. "It's sick."

"All we can do is be there for them," Alex said.

"I don't want to choose between them Alex," Izzie said. "Mer was our friend first but… Derek he, he's done so much for us in the past, it's just…"

"Let's hope they don't make us," Alex said simply.

"It's gonna be a beautiful service," Iz said out of the blue after a few brief moments of silence. "I made sure of it."

"As it should be," Alex nodded. "Em was a beautiful little girl…"

"Remember when Meredith and Derek went out for their fourth anniversary," Izzie smiled. "The long weekend they took, and left us in charge of Em."

"We didn't sleep for three days Iz," Alex reminded her.

"But remember how much fun we had?" she giggled and closed her eyes, holding on to a brief memory of the little girl who brought her so much joy just about every day of her painfully short life.

"_Most of her toys are in her diaper bag or in her pack n' play, so entertainment shouldn't be a problem," Meredith listed off. "If she gets really antsy one of the videos we have for her can amuse her for hours. Her hungry cry is usually higher pitched then her wet cry so you will have to distinguish that early on and she will not go to sleep if her bear is not with her. She won't get tired of crying, it will go on for hours."_

"_Mer," Alex chuckled. "We got it; we can take care of her. If all else fails we will call you… besides, it's practice for us."_

"_It's just, we never left her for this long," Mer mumbled, leaning into Derek. Obviously feeling guilty for their time away._

"_But we're gonna have so much fun aren't we Em?" Izzie cooed while bouncing the little girl on her hip. Emily smiled and stuck her hand in her mouth. Meredith sighed and leaned over to kiss her daughter gently._

"_Be good for Auntie Izzie and Uncle Alex baby," Meredith said. "We'll be back soon. I love you so much."_

"_I love you too sweetheart," Derek added, kissing her as well._

"_Bye," Izzie said, waving one of Emily's arms at them as they walked down the driveway._

"_Call us please Iz," Derek said._

"_We will!" Alex called as he shut the front door. This was a very bad idea. From the minute Emily had been placed in Izzie's arms, her eyes were on her parents. And with the door shut, her visual of them had been compromised and immediately she let out a devastated wail._

"_Shh Emily," Izzie soothed. "It's only for a few days, they will be back soon." Emily waved her hands angrily at the door, continuing to sob._

"_Iz what do we do?" Alex questioned as he waved her bear in front of her but to no avail did it calm her._

"_Come on Em, it's okay," Iz said, frowning as Emily knocked the bear out of Alex's arms. Quickly he grabbed her pacifier, handing it to Izzie to stick in her mouth. That, like the bear before it, ended up on the floor. "Shh Emi." Alex watched as her curls began to stick to the sides of her soaked cheeks as tears continued to pour down her face._

_A similar wail continued throughout the night, only ceasing for about two hours but restarted when a large crack of thunder and lightning reawoke the household. As Izzie and Alex went running towards the small cot they had set up in their guest room they looked at each other briefly._

"_It's gonna be a long three days," Alex sighed as Izzie picked up the wailing child._

"She always was a Mommy and Daddy's girl," Alex murmured.

"She always will be," Izzie commented. She looked at herself in the mirror once more before opening her mouth again. "Let's go."

* * *

Lexie watched Mark carefully as he drove the rainy streets of Seattle. It was the perfect weather for a day like this. A day when they'd be burying an empty casket that was to symbolize the tragic death of their goddaughter.

She watched out the window as the rain pelted the glass before her and the car passed the ferry dock. Lexie closed her eyes. It seemed like everything was going to remind her of Emily today. Emily loved the ferry boats. She loved the water. Lexie never met a two year old before Emily that loved the water as much as she.

Lexie was so consumed with thought of Em that she didn't even realize what the gasping noises from beside her were until they were not only gasps, but sobs.

"Mark!" Lexie exclaimed

"I can't do it Lex," he shook as he pulled the car off the side of the road. "I can't." Mark buried his face in his hands.

"Mark…" Lexie sighed.

"We should have found her!" Mark sobbed. "We were going to look in the apartment complex she was held up in first because it was the farthest place!"

"You had no idea she was there," Lex whispered, a few tears escaping her eyes.

"But it was my fault," he yelled and slammed his fist on the steering wheel. "It was my fucking brilliant idea to go to the closest place first!"

"Mark, it's no one's fault but that bastards Marcus! We've been telling Meredith and Derek that all week… don't become as stubborn as them now," Lexie hissed.

"My names not Marcus," Mark muttered.

"And now you're sounding like the old Mark," Lexie smiled.

"How can you be so happy?" he sighed.

"What makes you think I am happy? It's called distracting yourself Mark," Lexie murmured.

"We should be going to work, not a church," Mark whispered.

"It's gonna be beautiful, I was helping Izzie a little," Lex said.

"Is that supposed to comfort me?" Mark questioned.

"I thought maybe if you knew that it was fit for Em… I don't know… I just know that it will be perfect," she said.

"Tell Meredith and Derek that," Mark muttered. "If both of them even show up."

"You'd think one of them wouldn't? I thought the Shepherd's are even coming?" Lex gasped.

"I don't know anything anymore, what's going through their heads… Emily wouldn't want this, she hated whenever someone even yelled," Mark reminisced.

"Remember Mark…" Lexie smiled. "The day after her first birthday, when we took her to that Sesame Street live thing."

"Oh god," Mark chuckled.

"_You guys sure you want to take her by yourselves?" Meredith questioned as Lexie bent down to pick up the little girl in her playpen._

"_Ex," Emily giggled while patting Lexie's face._

"_We could buy other seats just so…" Derek began._

"_No," Mark shook his head. "We're doing this for Em, and you guys as well. You're on squirt watch 24/7 even when she is in the day care… Em needs time with her favorite Aunt and Uncle who double as her godparents while you two need a day by yourselves."_

"_Are you sure," Mer warned as she handed Mark Em's diaper bag. "She can be… quite a handful…" She smiled lovingly at Emily who was giggling while reaching for Lex's necklace._

"_You're not a handful are you Em?" Lexie questioned as she grabbed her tiny hand and moved it away from her necklace. Emily turned towards her and smiled._

"_No," she giggled._

"_You're going to be good for Aunt Lex and I right," Mark said._

"_No," Emily piped up. They looked towards Meredith and Derek._

"_Her favorite word," Derek chuckled. "I love you princess."_

"_Ove ou Dada," Emily puckered her lips and gave Derek and sloppy kiss on the cheek._

"_Be good, I love you too," Meredith added and kissed Em._

"_Y too!" Emily waved her little hand._

"_Bye," Mark nodded. "Come on my girls…" The last thing they saw of Meredith and Derek were them shaking their heads and kissing. "You excited to see Elmo Em?"_

"_Ig Ird!" Em exclaimed._

"_Big Bird too," Lexie laughed. "And the cookie monster." Lexie ticked her stomach, sending Em in a fit of giggles. They had no clue what Meredith and Derek were talking about when they said she was a handful. Throughout the show she was quiet, she ask as politely as a one year old could for a Big Bird stuffed animal, and easily allowed Lex to change her diaper unlike a few months ago. That was until when they were leaving and Em dropped her Big Bird on the ground. Just as Lex was about to pick it up some little four year old twerp picked it up and ran towards his parents._

"_HEY!" Mark yelled after him. He heard Em whimper but believed it was because of the loss of her toy._

"_Mommy, Daddy, look what I got!" the boy said._

"_Where did you get it?" his mother questioned._

"_Some lady gave it to me," he lied._

"_Excuse me," Mark said. "But that was my niece's."_

"_Andrew is that true?" his father asked._

"_No… it's mine," he said defiantly._

"_I bought it for my niece," Mark boomed. Em whimpered again._

"_Nuh-uh," the boy whined. Mark snatched it out of his hand and handed Em to Lex._

"_WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" the man yelled. "That was my son's."_

"_That was MY niece's… I have the receipt," Mark said._

"_GIVE IT BACK!" the man screamed, yanking on it._

"_GET OFF ME ASSHOLE!" Mark boomed pushing him._

"_UNCA MAK!" a loud screech interrupted the fight as Emily began sobbing. _

"_Em," Mark gasped. "Shh baby… look what you did," he hissed at the man. The man and his family stalked away as Lexie and Mark whisked Emily out of the place._

"_Did that man scare you?" Lexie questioned. Emily shook her head._

"_Unca Mak," she whimpered._

"_Uncle Mark scared you?" Lexie gasped._

"_Ell oud," she whispered._

"_I'm sorry Emi bear," Mark sighed. "I didn't mean to but that man was trying to steal your Big Bird."_

"_No ell," she shook her head._

"_I won't anymore, I'm sorry princess," Mark placed a kiss on her head._

"_It otay," she murmured leaning into him. Mark placed the now a little ruffled Big Bird in her arms._

"_IG IRD!" she giggled and hugged it close. _

"Meredith and Derek almost killed us… but we were lucky that Em not only cried because of yelling, but because her Mommy and Daddy wouldn't let her be alone with her godparents," Lexie smirked.

"We're never gonna have a special day with her again," Mark whispered.

"Well lets go say goodbye… today is going to be special… today is for Em," Lexie sighed as Mark started up the car again.

* * *

Callie stepped into the church hand in hand with Arizona. She felt safe in a church for the first time in forever, because this was not a Catholic church. A church that believed same-sex relationships were a sin. It was the first time she felt safe in a church, but she would rather she was not there.

"Calliope, are you okay?" Arizona questioned.

"No Ari, I'm not," Callie whispered as she looked towards the front of the church, there was a casket in front of the church open for memories of Em they would like to bury with her casket. On both sides of the casket sat Meredith and Derek. Meredith on the left, Derek on the right.

"Me either… we can be not okay together," she murmured. Callie felt for the engagement ring that sat on Arizona's left finger and felt comforted to move forward towards the casket. In her left hand sat a copy of her favorite picture of her niece with the two of them… they didn't have the heart to give in the original.

When at the front of the church they separated, Arizona going to Meredith first, Callie to Derek.

"Derek," Callie whispered. "I'm so sorry. I know I have been saying that all week it's just…"

"I know… what are you giving?" Derek nodded. Callie looked up into his eyes and saw the unfallen tears he refused to let go. Slowly she held up the picture and Derek looked at it smiling. "Perfect."

"I thought so," Callie smiled weakly pulling Derek in an embrace. She looked up after a few seconds and moved over to Meredith who was still clutching to Arizona. Meredith looked up tear-filled and let go. Arizona squeezed her arm comfortingly before allowing Callie to share her remorse.

"Hi Callie, thank you for coming," Mer whispered.

"I'm sorry I couldn't say this to you sooner Mer… but I am so incredibly sorry for your loss," Callie murmured.

"I get it," Mer sighed. "It's okay… what's important is that you are here now… for Emi… what did you bring?" Callie showed her the picture. "I figured…"

"I'm so sorry again," Callie said hugging her friend gently, letting go a second later. Mer choked back a sob as the next person approached her. Callie and Arizona met in the middle in front of the casket. Without a word Callie placed the picture in the casket upright, facing them.

"I remember that day like it was yesterday," Arizona smiled. The picture was one of the three of them. Em, Callie, and Arizona. They were in the park, no more than 6 months ago when a person with a camera had come up to them.

"_Do you mind if I take your picture? You can just continue what you are doing," he asked. They were at a community day and it was a niceish day out. The man was a photographer obviously._

"_Why not?" Arizona shrugged. _

"_Aunt Zona! Aunt Callie!" Emily squealed as she came running up to them with a balloon clutched in her tiny hand. "Lookee at it!"_

"_That's a nice balloon Em," Callie nodded._

"_Balloon fly away!" Emily exclaimed, letting it go._

"_You are such a silly girl; didn't you want your balloon?" Arizona questioned._

"_Angels want balloon more," Emily giggled._

"_That was very nice of you," Callie said as Arizona launched towards her and began tickling her stomach._

"_AUNT ZONA!" Emily giggled. "AUNT CALLIE HELP ME!"_

"_Oh no, you are not getting out of this one," Callie smirked and launched towards her as well, joining in. Just then a picture snapped. They almost forgot the man was standing there._

"_Here, you can go on this website tonight, I will have all the pictures uploaded, use this code and you can purchase it for $7.99."_

"_Thank you," Callie nodded. Together that night, Callie and Arizona went on the website and were in awe at the picture._

Like Derek said, it was a perfect picture. Emily was posed almost perfectly in Arizona's arms and Callie and Arizona tickled her unmercifully. All three of their mouths were open in laughter, Emily's the biggest. Her green eyes were open wide, her tiny hand pointed at the sky. In the distance and from the angle the man was out, you could see the balloon as clear as day. Flying up to the heavens.

Slowly Callie turned around and walked out of the church. Before entering they had left a balloon outside, another thing to remind them of Emily but obviously they couldn't put it into the casket. Arizona followed her out as Callie untied the balloon. Looking into the sky Callie let go of the balloon, a tear falling down her cheek.

"For you Em," she whispered. Callie felt Arizona's hand twine with her, her hand stroking their wedding band or what symbolized their marriage in their family's eyes. The tears in her eyes matched Ari's. The minute their eyes locked Callie grabbed her face and pulled her into a passionate kiss that lasted for several moments.

"Let's go Calliope," Arizona sighed as they walked back in hand and hand, and sat with their family.

* * *

Carolyn Shepherd's heart clenched when she looked back in the terminal. All of the women decided to go to the funeral while the men stayed back with the children. Nancy and Tom came up from Connecticut and the entire family headed for the airport.

After sorrowful goodbyes and "Give them our sympathy's" or "I want Em to have this's" the five women boarded the plane.

In the back of her mind as Carolyn looked at Liz's almost third trimester stomach and Meg's barely second trimester bump, she thought about the fact that she no longer had 19 grandchildren… and soon she would only have 20 instead of 21. It broke her heart. It was almost unbearable.

Em would have been so happy to be a big cousin again seeing as how much she loved baby Morgan, but it wasn't the case. Morgan would never remember her big cousin Emily, and Brian and Kyle will have never met her.

The ride to Seattle was silent; there was not much to say. Emily was dead. Derek and Meredith were getting divorced. Instead of getting relief from the amount of stress and sadness these past couple of months, the family was launched into full on grief. Nothing would ever be the same.

All they could do was hold onto their items for Em and everyone else's like their lives depended on it.

The ride to the church was silent as well. In their minds they were grieving the loss of their niece and granddaughter, so when they got there, they could focus on Meredith and Derek.

The minute they walked into the church their eyes went to the casket, almost filled to the top of little things for Emily. The next thing was Meredith and Derek. Not on the same side, but opposite. There were two different lines as well.

They recognized Meredith's family in the pews; they recognized some other doctors and nurses they met when they had come to see a newborn Emily, they even recognized Meredith's sister Molly, the one she honestly did not care for. After the lines died down the Shepherd women approached the couple. Carolyn and the girls went to Meredith first.

They knew nothing would comfort her. They knew from experience a few weeks ago. So all the five of them could do was hug her. Hug her and lie, saying that everything would be okay. Because it wouldn't.

When they made their way over to Derek they saw him flinch as if he was afraid one of them would lash out at him.

"Oh honey I'm so sorry," Carolyn sighed and embraced him. She took a step back when Derek stiffened. "Derek… what?"

"Y-you don't hate me," he stuttered. It was then when they got a full look of him. He hair was flat and lifeless, his beard was in full force, and his eyes had week's worth of lines underneath them. He looked terrible. It was then they realized how hard leaving Mer was for him, not just Mer.

"Baby brother," Nancy spoke up. "We could never hate you… you're our brother. As annoying and brainless as you can be sometimes, the most we could ever be is mad at you." She hugged him gently.

"We love you Derbear," Liz whispered hugging him. "And we are so incredibly sorry."

"Neither of you should have to go through this," Meg spoke up.

"If you ever need to talk, I am sure my number is still 2 on your speed dial," Kathleen said, a hint of a joke. Derek laughed, choking back a sob.

"10 years and you still believe it Kath, I thought shrinks were supposed to be smart," he joked.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd, you are such a… a… a kind father who did everything he could to save his daughter, and for that Derek… one day you are going to go right up to heaven and be with Em forever," Kathleen murmured. "I mean it Derbear."

"You're so strong my boy," Carolyn said. "Everything will work out." He looked towards Mer who Izzie had moved to the first pew. Izzie, Lexie, Alex, Mark, Cristina, and Owen were sitting in the front row as well as Derek so they would not have to sit next to each other.

"Nothing that is important to me… I messed up Ma," Derek whispered.

"People make mistakes… don't call a divorce lawyer till your sure… you both made mistakes that only time can fix," Nancy spoke up.

"But time can't bring my baby girl back," Derek sighed, running his hand through his unkempt hair.

"But it can bring back the memories… you need to hold on to them Derbear… they'll make things a little easier, they bring people back together," Liz reassured.

"I hope your right Lizzie," Derek murmured. He nodded his head towards them and went to sit next to Mark in the pew. The girls placed their items in the casket and sat four rows back behind Mer's extended family. Kathleen and Nancy watched Derek the whole ceremony, Meg and Lizzie Mer's. Carolyn however got lost in the picture at the front of the church. There was one of Em around the age she was before she was kidnapped, and the other was her newborn picture.

This picture was special to Carolyn because she was the one who had taken it.

Even at one hour old her son's daughter, her first grandchild with the Shepherd name, was perfect. Everything about her was. From her perfectly bright emerald eyes to the amount of people that had been in the room that day. Carolyn knew she could rest easy that night, despite how crappy of a hotel they had gotten at the last minute. She could rest easy because she knew Emily died as she lived…

_Loved_.

* * *

**Some of you requested that we see her relationships with her families so that is what I did, a little bittersweet but I hoped you liked it! Next chapter may add Cristina in with Mer/Der POV because I was making this chappie too long.**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! THE GREY'S ANATOMY GODS WANT YOU TO! (:**

**A/N: If any of you read NCIS fanfiction, check out this summary of my first multi-chapter fic entitled New Found Angel:**

**Ziva centric. Ziva David has always shown an interest towards children, but when 10 year old Aaliyah McCallin is found at a crime scene, she never expected the connection to be so strong. No one on the team expected how quickly she would weasel her way into their hearts. But when it's discovered that they have similar pasts, Ziva will stop at nothing to protect her, going as far as to admitting something that could risk her position on the team. As they dig deeper into the past of this young girl, one of Gibbs' rules is the least of their worries. The team soon finds themselves in a race against time to save Aaliyah, NCIS, and prevent a terrorist attack that would make 9/11 look like a normal day in New York City.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, I don't own the characters, and I don't make money off of it… 21 chapters and nothing has changed.**

**So things look really bleak for this story right now, but the end of this chapter (just like two chapters ago) will please you and make you hate me at the same time, but this time it is not so vague. Also, be prepared for a time jump that will happen, I won't tell you how long, but there will be one. Two actually, one next chapter and one after that…**

**This chapter is Emily's funeral part two so it will be sad and most likely filled with Mer/Der angst (Mer's are mostly thoughts, Derek's is where most of the angst takes place so I warned you now), but it will be the last of the devastating chapters… I think… so… ENJOY!**

* * *

Cristina twined her hand with Owen's as she walked through the doors of the church. The necklace around her neck where the engagement ring Owen gave her three years ago banged against her chest.

Together, they decided she was not the kind of woman who would wear a ring on her hand, but maybe as a necklace so she could scrub in easily but he would still have his claim on her. They also decided that they were not wedding kind of people. With a slightly pregnant Meredith as a witness, city hall was their best bet. No ring, no dress, nothing. It had been perfect though.

Two years ago, Cristina had also never been the person to like children. She cringed at the thought of spit up, diapers, and crying. She didn't want kids, she didn't like to be around kids, and Owen respected her for that because neither did he.

But things change.

Emily Elizabeth Shepherd changed her.

From the second the little emerald eyed girl looked up at her and placed her hand gently on her cheek, Cristina Yang was hopelessly in love with her, however much she tried to deny it. When she was around her friends, she hardly looked towards the little girl, but when they weren't, Cristina was like putty in her hands. That was when she wasn't watching her for a long period of time.

She remembered a day when she had been forced to watch over 3 month old Emily for almost the entire day.

"_Cristina, thank god," Derek sighed as he ran down the hallway, a whimpering Emily in his arms._

"_What's with the kid?" Cristina asked._

"_Meredith is sick and doesn't want to be around her, but I have surgery in twenty minutes…" Derek explained. "Can you take her?"_

"_Isn't the day care open?" Cristina questioned._

"_She's too young, they start at 6 months," Derek explained. "Please Cristina." Cristina looked the little girl up and down. She had no surgeries today and was going to spend the day trolling for some, guess that was out of the question now._

"_Hand her over," she rolled her eyes._

"_Thank you, we owe you," Derek said, kissing Emily gently and handing her over to Cristina. "Here's her diaper bag." Cristina bent over to pick it up and gasped._

"_What the hell is in that thing?" she exclaimed._

"_Diapers, wipes, baby powder, bottles, her bear, pacifiers, change of clothes, her pack n' play, her…" Derek explained as he walked down the hallway._

"_What am I supposed to do with this stuff?" Cristina hissed._

"_You'll figure it out," Derek smirked, at the same time shivering at the thought he was leaving his innocent baby girl with Cristina of all people. Cristina held up Emily and looked at her closely._

"_What am I supposed to do with you?" she murmured and shook her head as she gurgled before hiccupping."Let's find Izzie, maybe she will know what to do with you…" Unfortunately, Izzie was in surgery most of the day, so Cristina found herself in the attending lounge. _

"_Bahsofala," Emily giggled as she laid on her back on the floor of the lounge._

"_What you say makes no sense," Cristina shook her head. "Cristina… can you say Cristina?"_

"_Habanoso," Emily babbled._

"_What is the point of having kids if they can't talk," Cristina shook her head as she lifted her closer. Just then, Emily hiccupped again before spitting up on Cristina's scrubs._

"_EMILY!" she exclaimed. At the loud noise, the little girl began to sob. And they continued, and continued, and continued. Cristina was unable to calm her down with anything that she had in the diaper bag. She didn't want to eat, she wasn't wet, she wouldn't stop crying enough to get her pacifier in her mouth, and she was exhausted._

"_What is going on in here?" Owen asked walking in. "Cristina, why do you have Em?"_

"_McDreamy is in surgery and Mer's sick," Cristina whined. "She's been like this for the past hour!"_

"_What did you do?" he asked._

"_She did this!" Cristina exclaimed, lifting her away for a second to show the spit up that still sat on her scrubs._

"_Let me take her, you clean up," Owen said. Cristina nodded, a scowl on her face, and went the bathrooms. She got a new scrub top and went back into the lounge, surprised to find it quiet. Owen was bouncing her up and down, Emily was leaning on his chest, drinking for a bottle calmly. _

"_Did you trade her in or something?" Cristina asked._

"_You just have to be patient with her…. here, take her, I need to go back to the ER," Owen said, placing Emily in her arms. Cristina looked down, the bottle was finished._

"_What do I do now?" _

"_Burp her," Owen shrugged. "But use the towel please; I don't want to lose my wife when you go insane from more of her crying." Cristina nodded and did as he said, Emily burped contently, Cristina decided to change her diaper, and she settled in her arms. The little girl's eyes looked towards her._

"_What do you want?" she asked. The baby blinked and rested her hand on her chest before banging it gently and yawning. "You know, you are kind of cute when you are quiet." When Derek was finished his surgery, Owen told him where she was. There he found Cristina on a chair fast asleep while Emily slept on her chest. They stayed that way for hours on end, no more wailing coming from that part of the hospital for at least the rest of that day._

For some strange reason, Cristina had kept the scrubs with the spit up on them. Or somehow they got back into her stuff that day. Anyway, she still had them. They reminded Cristina a lot of her niece. She honestly never saw her that often when she was alive, she had always been busy in surgery, but the scrubs reminded Cristina that there was a little girl out there who loved her Aunt Cris or Cwis as much as she loved her.

She regrets maybe only seeing her once or twice a month. She took it for granted thinking that there would always be a day that the chubby cheeked little girl would come running down the hallway and leap into her arms, not wanting to let go. Cristina didn't want to let go of the memory; that is why it wasn't the scrubs she put in the casket. It was a picture. A picture that Derek had snapped that day during the time she was sleeping.

It was always Cristina's favorite picture, but it was Emily's too. And she deserved to have it more than her.

* * *

Meredith could hardly fathom what she was doing in the church. She knew what it was for, but she couldn't feel it. People came up to her, whispering their sorrows about the loss of their little girl, but she wasn't their little girl. Emily was _her_ little girl.

Emily Elizabeth Shepherd had been in Meredith Shepherd's womb for exactly 8 months, 35 days, 6 hours, and 29 minutes. Meredith experienced a large amount of pain to push her baby girl out at 6:29 am on September 17th. But that pain was nothing compared the the feeling she had in her chest right now.

No one here knew what it was like to lose a child and their sympathy was making Meredith a little angry. The only ones she did not care about how many times they said 'sorry' were the Shepherd's. The family she was bound to lose in the inevitable divorce from her husband.

Meredith couldn't even remember their fight. The fight that ended everything.

But she wasn't sure if she was ready to take it all back yet. She was too numb to be even thinking about these things at the moment. Meredith was a hundred percent sure she was not even going to remember this day either by the time it was over.

She didn't _want_ to remember it. Just like she honestly didn't want to remember her fight with Derek. Maybe if she didn't, it would be like it never happened and things would be better or at least the pain of the loss of her husband would be a little less than the pain of losing her daughter.

The priest at the front of the church was talking about their little girl. Sharing memories that they shared, others shared, but the only one that mattered to Meredith was lying on the couch, her little daughter's head in her lap fast asleep, as Meredith watched the rest of Cinderella because she did not have the heart to move her.

That was the last time Meredith held her close. The last time she ever saw her.

April 13th.

The day Meredith's life she once had ended.

* * *

Derek looked down as the priest spoke up once more.

"The procession will now continue to the cemetery her parents picked out for her where a plot will be laid out to forever honor her memory. Emily Shepherd may be gone in life, but she will live forever in the hearts of people who loved her," the priest said. "She was taken away from the world so cruelly, but a small comfort is that she will never know the pain she suffered while away from her parents again. Her soul with rise into the heavens, a beautiful two year old girl." Derek's head snapped over to the opposite side of the pew where sobbing was heard. It was Meredith.

He failed her. He failed Em. And now Derek was left to live with that failure.

Soon Derek heard more sobbing or at least heavy crying. It sounded close, but no one else was crying as much as he heard.

That was when he felt Mark's strong arms wrap around him, as well as Callie's. It was then when Derek realized it was him who was crying.

Mark and Callie led him outside towards the plot of land they picked out for Emily's empty casket. Arizona was behind him. With the comfort of his friends his cries went silent.

Next to him stood Meredith surrounded by Izzie, Lexie, and Cristina. Izzie looked up and gave him a small smile. She hadn't spoken to him since his and Meredith's fight, but the small gesture reassured Derek that she would not be one of the friends he lost in the divorce.

"Thank you," Derek nodded the Mark, Callie, and Arizona. He stepped forward to where George, Owen, and Alex were helping carry the casket towards the plot. "Oh Emi."

"It'll be okay man," Alex said, as he passed him. George squeezed his shoulder gently. Derek looked back at them; maybe he'd only lose Mer in the divorce. At least he could hope.

Things went silent as everyone circled the plot. The priest began talking again and the funeral people began handing out flowers. Derek held his rose and all of a sudden realize Meredith was standing next to him.

"Hi," she murmured.

"Hi Mer," Derek whispered.

"Iz did a great job didn't she," Mer nodded.

"She did, perfect for our little girl," Derek said. Mer opened her mouth to speak again but the priest interrupted.

"Now let's say our final goodbyes to Emily by placing a rose on her casket, her parents will go first," he said, nodding to Meredith and Derek. Together, Mer and Der looked up at each other, and then moved together towards the now closed casket.

"Goodbye my angel," Mer said. "I'll never forget you. I'll never let you go."

"Be good baby girl," Derek sighed. "I love you and I'll miss you." Derek and Meredith stepped back and watched as more and more people approached Emily's casket.

"It's not fair is it," Derek shook his head.

"No it's not… I…"

"What the hell?" Derek hissed all of a sudden. Meredith's head snapped up and came face to face with a good amount of Seattle's police department.

"Please Mr. Shepherd," Officer Martin said.

"I don't want you here, go!" Derek boomed.

"Derek," Mark sighed.

"GO!" Derek screamed.

"Dr. Shepherd, we…"

"You failed our little girl!" Derek screamed.

"Derek, stop it!" Meredith exclaimed.

"You are one to talk," Derek snapped. "You first blame them, and then me! I tried! I DID MORE THAN THEM! They let him get out of the state! THEY let our baby girl get killed!"

"Now who is acting like an ass, isn't that what you told ME last time," Mer yelled.

"Meredith, Derek, stop it!" Izzie yelled.

"Please, this is a time of mourning, not fighting," the priest interjected.

"Shut up," Meredith and Derek snapped at the same time.

"We are very sorry," Officer White nodded.

"Get out!" Derek screamed.

"THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE DEREK!" Meredith exclaimed.

"HOW COULD YOU SAY _THAT_?" Derek yelled.

"THEY TRIED!"

"AND I DIDN'T!"

"NO! YOU KILLED HER!"

"THEY KILLED HER! THE POLICE KILLED HER!"

"STOP IT!" a new voice cut in. Carolyn Shepherd stepped out through the crowd. "I've seen enough!"

"Mom… stay…" Derek began.

"No… you, go to your car!" Carolyn commanded. "Meredith Shepherd, you do the same!" They both stared at her incredulously. "NOW!" With a final glare at each other the two stalked away in opposite directions.

"Oh Emily, if only you knew how much we need you," Carolyn whispered as she looked up towards the attendants. "I think it is over… Izzie, I am sure your luncheon would have been appreciated a lot more on non-selfish people, but I do not think it is happening, thank you anyway…" Carolyn looked at her daughters. "We should be going."

"But Mom," Kathleen interrupted.

"They don't need us, they need each other, and they need to find that out themselves," Carolyn shook her head. With that she took off in the direction of Derek.

"I'm sorry Emily," Mark shook his head in voice for everything that just happened.

* * *

_One day later…_

"I'm here," a man with light blond hair and green eyes said into the phone.

"I can see that Jay," Howard said as he approached him in the airport.

"Shut up idiot," Jason hissed under his breath. "My name is not Jason… it's… um… Andrew. Andrew Locke."

"Okay Andrew," he nodded. "Follow me; I will bring you to the house."

"You got a house already?" Jason said, surprised.

"Yupp, in Chelsea…" Howard said proudly. "Townhouse all paid for."

"Good job," Jason nodded. He walked out of the airport and almost choked on the NYC air. "God I hate New York."

"You'll learn to love it… oh yeah, got you a job too," Howard said.

"Doing what?"

"Plumber."

"What the hell!" Jason hissed. "Make that any more obvious!"

"You are good at it," he shrugged.

"Because that's what I used to be!" Jason growled. "I'll just have to quit."

"And you don't want to make it obvious," Howard accused.

"Maybe if you weren't such an imbecile," Jason rolled his eyes. They walked through the streets of New York silently. Howard could tell Jason was fuming. He had been mad already when he moved from Connecticut but people got suspicious. He needed to go to New York, it was easier to blend but close to Pennsylvania. Too close for his liking.

"Here it is," Howard nodded.

"Nice," Jason muttered and ran up the front steps. He put his hand on the front handle and was surprised to find it open. "ARE YOU MENTALLY RETARDED?"

"We were out for less than an hour," Howard informed him. "And she can't reach the front door."

"And if someone came in?" Jason growled. "Where is she?"

"GET OUT HERE!" Howard boomed. Five seconds later a little girl sulked around the corner, sporting an orange cast on her left arm.

"What did you do to her?" Jason asked.

"Reason we had to leave Connecticut," Howard smirked. "Erin get over here."

"Erin?" he asked.

"I named her," he said proudly.

"Don't like it," Jason shook his head. Just then, the little girl looked up at Jason.

"Daddy!" she whimpered and hugged his legs. It's now he sees a black eye.

"What the HELL!" he exclaimed, picking her up.

"Daddy that man is mean," the little girl whimpered.

"She doesn't even have a wig!" Jason hissed.

"I cut her hair," he shrugged. Jason looked closer at her and saw the botched hair cut.

"It looks like shit," he growled. "You're useless."

"You never told me what to do man," Howard hissed. "No one has seen her, I haven't even met the neighbors yet."

"And I am left to clean up your mess," Jason shook his head. "Don't worry Rachel, this idiot won't be taking care of you anymore."

"Rachel, that's my name now," Rachel looked up at him.

"Good enough?" he asked setting her down. She nodded.

"Mer middle name?" Howard asked. "For her birth certificate?"

"You don't need to worry about that," Jason said.

"Why?" Howard asked.

"Rachel, go back to where you were before," Jason said. The little girl nodded, the dark, uneven, partly curly, dirty hair on her head bouncing behind her.

"Why man?" Howard asked again.

"Because," Jason said calmly, raising a gun with a silencer and shooting him in the head. Howard fell to the floor, dead.

"Daddy," Rachel whimpered. "Daddy what did you do?"

"Get out of here brat, GO!" Jason ordered. Rachel nodded and spun on her heels, sobbing.

"Sorry man," Jason shook his head looking at Howard. "You weren't needed anymore." Jason dragged him downstairs and placed him in the freezer that sat there, that way he wouldn't stink up the place. After that deed was done he decided to make the house look like he lived there. All of a sudden, Rachel was at his feet again, taking something out of his pocket.

"Daddy, why do you have a picture of me in your pocket?" she asked, holding up a picture.

"THAT'S NOT YOU ANYMORE!" he screamed and slapped her across the face.

"What do you mean?" Rachel whimpered.

"Emily Shepherd is dead," Jason smirked. "Rachel Locke however, is alive."

* * *

**So yes, you were all right, Erin (well now Rachel) is indeed Emily. And Howard was the man who was helping Jason out all along, they met in prison and such and both escaped together. Howard is the one who has helped create their alternate identities, driver's licenses, birth certificates, etc. So now that you know Em is alive, do you hate me a little less?**

**Either next chapter or the chapter after that will be the time jump…**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! THE GREY'S ANATOMY GODS WANT YOU TO! (:**

**A/N: If any of you read NCIS fanfiction, check out this summary of my first multi-chapter fic entitled New Found Angel:**

**Ziva centric. Ziva David has always shown an interest towards children, but when 10 year old Aliah McCallin is found at a crime scene, she never expected the connection to be so strong. No one on the team expected how quickly she would weasel her way into their hearts. But when it's discovered that they have similar pasts, Ziva will stop at nothing to protect her, going as far as to admitting something that could risk her position on the team. As they dig deeper into the past of this young girl, one of Gibbs' rules is the least of their worries. The team soon finds themselves in a race against time to save Aliah, NCIS, and prevent a terrorist attack that would make 9/11 look like a normal day in New York City.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy! I only own Emily Elizabeth Shepherd!**

**This chapter is the one all of you have been waiting for… the one that finally gets me out of my rutt. Yes, that means a time jump that will fix a lot of things, explain a lot of things, and now make the story go a lot faster.**

**Throughout the time this has happened, Meredith and Derek have been separated (not divorced) while Derek has been living in a rented apartment across from the hospital. Izzie, Alex, George, Callie, Arizona, and Miranda have been the same but Lexie and Mark have gotten pregnant (will be explained in the chapter). Meanwhile, Rachel (Emily) and Andrew (Jason) have been living their life in NYC.**

**Here is the next chapter… enjoy!**

* * *

_5 months later…_

Rachel opened her eyes to her dark room. It was day time, she knew it was, but when she looked out her window it was dark. Three months ago, her daddy had painted them black because she spent too much time looking outside of them. According to him, they'd find out about her if she did.

Her daddy didn't let her out of the house like he used to. Not since he changed her hair and eye color. He hardly let her out of her room. Especially when he wasn't home, and sometimes he didn't come home for hours.

"Daddy?" Rachel called softly, knocking on her door that locked from the outside, not that she could reach the door knob anyway. "Daddy?" She smiled as she heard the door unlock.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Andrew growled and pushed her back. Rachel fell to the ground with a bump.

"I-I I'm hungry," she whimpered, shrinking back.

"What did I tell you," he hissed, getting in her face. "You must WAIT until I get you food… I am your father, I make the rules. What kind of household would that be if I let my two year old tell me what she wants?"

"Three year old," Rachel whispered.

"WHAT?" Andrew screamed.

"It's September 17th… I think," she murmured, looking down. "It's my birthday, or at least it was."

"WELL NOW IT'S NOT!" Andrew slapped her across the face. Rachel felt blood in her mouth and closed her eyes.

"When is it?" Rachel questioned.

"April 13th," he smirked. "That's your birthday; now get out of my sight!"

"You're in my room," Rachel informed him. She was expecting the next slap on her face. "I'm still hungry though…"

"You don't deserve to eat today," Andrew said simply, walked out, slammed the door, and locked the door just as the phone began to ring. Rachel picked herself up off of the floor and put her ear to it.

"Hello, Locke's plumbing," he answered the phone. "Yes… Sounds like it's just a faulty pipe... I'll take a preliminary check and see what I can do… alright… sounds good… I'll be right over… Twenty minutes." Rachel stood at the door until she heard the front door of her house open and then shut.

She hated her daddy. He was so mean but she couldn't do anything about it. No one knew about her to stop him and she was only three. Rachel wasn't sure why she knew today was her birthday, it was a feeling. She felt this feeling before.

This feeling she felt every night, when a blond woman and dark haired man would appear in her dreams and by her bedside when it was dark. She didn't know who they were, but they certainly looked like they did. They called her Emily, they told her Mommy and Daddy loved her; but Rachel's name wasn't Emily, she didn't have a Mommy, and her Daddy did not love her.

The only thing she did know was that whoever Emily was, it was her birthday today; because this morning, before she woke up, the man and the woman were by her side again.

"_It's September 17__th__ Emily… it's your birthday… happy birthday baby… Mommy and Daddy love you."_

Rachel wished to god she was Emily. Then she would have both a Mommy and Daddy who loved her.

* * *

Meredith's eyes opened warily, the tears still stinging her eyes. She had stay up till midnight last night; she had stared at the clock in silence until it turned to exactly 12. She was willing the clock to just stop. The world to just stop. So that maybe the day she was dreading since she buried her daughter's empty casket would never come.

Emily's third birthday.

The age her baby girl would never be, but would have been if she had still been with them.

_Them_.

Meredith Shepherd wasn't even sure if there was a "them" anymore.

They haven't spoken to each other since the day of Em's funeral five months ago. Once or twice a week they crossed paths in the hospital, but usual her friends, that were all still friends with Derek, were good at scheduling their usual routines around the couple. Mark, Callie, and Arizona taking Derek while everyone else took Mer.

There was one small glitch. In a way, there was still a "them."

Because since they have no spoken, they have not contacted lawyers, they have not gotten a divorce.

Meredith was still a Shepherd; spoke to all of the Shepherd's but Derek. Things were as they always were, except for the fact that she was alone. That she did not have her husband anymore, or her daughter.

When the clock had indeed struck midnight, sobs erupted from all over Meredith's body. She was sobbing with her whole body, unable to control it until she ended up exhausting her body into sleep.

"Oh Em," Mer sniffed. "Oh my Emi baby." The past five months have flown by. Her life didn't seem complete without Emily or Derek and fell into a pattern of simplicity. She had barely cried after the funeral, because she felt so numb. It felt good to let all of the tears and sadness out.

The second she made it downstairs, the phone began ringing off the hook. Everyone knew she had the day off because Richard had forced her and she knew for a fact that they'd begin checking on her the second one of their shifts were about to begin.

When the ringing of the telephone began to annoy the hell out of her, she changed her message, so now every time someone called and she ignored it, instead of the mechanical voice Meredith had allowed to be her voice mail when she and Derek separated; it was now…

_Hello, this is Meredith telling all of you I appreciate your call and your worry but today I'd rather be left alone. I will allow you to all harass me tomorrow but if even one of you think of coming to my front step, you may not make it out alive… okay, I'm kidding… but please I-_

It cut off but Meredith figured she got the message across when after about ten more calls to the house, the calling ceased all together. She did have about 40 messages left on her voice mail, but she'd possibly listen to them later.

"Peace and quiet," Mer whispered as she ran her fingers over a crinkled finger painting on her refrigerator. Content with everything, Meredith allowed silent tears to flow down her face as she made a cup of coffee.

Just as Meredith took a sip of her bitter black coffee she has taken to drinking since she'd rather be awake with strong coffee than asleep and dreaming of her old life; there was a knock at the door.

Agitated, Meredith stalked towards it, muttering under her breath. Without bothering to look out the side window, she flung the door open.

"Whoever it is… I thought I-" Meredith began but trailed off.

"Hi," the man said on the other side of the door. He too, like Mer, had a blotchy face from crying.

"Hi Derek," Meredith sighed.

* * *

Derek was not even sure of what he was doing as he got up at 6 in the morning, unable to sleep since he sat in his bed at 11, when he got in the car, went across the bay in the ferry, and drove up the driveway of the house he once shared with his wife and daughter.

It wasn't until he saw the house that he began to cry.

It wasn't until two hours since he arrived did it take Derek enough courage to get out of the car.

An hour after that was when he finally gained enough courage to knock on the door.

Like he said, he was not sure of what he was doing, even up to the point where Meredith, blotched face and all, opened the door.

"Hi," he said, unsure.

"Hi Derek," Meredith sighed.

"Hi Mer," Derek repeated.

"You said that already," Meredith said flatly.

"I know," he shook his head. "I don't know what I was thinking… I just…" Derek began to turn around but stopped when he felt Mer's hand on his arm. God it felt so right to be close to her again.

"No… why don't you, um, come in," she mumbled.

"I don't-" he began but Meredith pulled him inside gently.

"Want some coffee?" Mer questioned.

"That'd be great," he whispered as he took in the house he left five months ago. It looked the same, except that all the pictures of Emily were overturned, not that Derek could blame her. All of the pictures of Em in his wallet were sitting in his nightstand now.

"Here," Mer offered the cup as he sat on the couch. Derek gulped. It was his mug. The mug that said #1 daddy with Emily's baby footprint painted on it in pink. She hadn't thrown it away. "Of course I wouldn't throw it away."

"I didn't realize I was speaking out loud," Derek mumbled, blushing, looking down.

"It's okay," Meredith murmured, sitting down beside him. They fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"I miss you," they both blurted out at the same time and they snapped their heads up towards each other.

"I'm sorry," Derek croaked.

"No I'm sorry," Meredith said.

"It's my fault," they said at the same time again. Now, they looked into each other's eyes. Derek watched Mer's quickly fill with tears.

"Oh Derek!" she sobbed and flung her arms at him, after putting her coffee down.

"Mer," he whispered in her hair, smelling the lavender scent he missed so much. "I know… I know."

"I never meant any of it," she whimpered.

"Me either," Derek sighed.

"We were stupid, we were selfish, we were taking our anger out on each other while we only had one person to blame but we couldn't catch him," Meredith cried.

"He took Em away from us… of course we were angry… more at ourselves than each other," Derek commented, all of a sudden feeling his own tears prick at his eyes.

"Oh Em," Mer sobbed. Derek's coming out of nowhere as well.

"She'll always be in our hearts Mer," Derek reminded her. Meredith looked up out of his arms and at his face again. She cupped his cheek gently.

"I love you Derek."

"I love you too Mer." And he allowed her to place a gentle kiss on his lips before collapsing in his embrace once again. "Forever."

* * *

"Where is he," a middle-aged woman muttered as she stood in the middle of her kitchen, water soaking up towards her feet. It was all over her newly done floors and refurbished cabinets. "He said 20 minutes! It's been 30!"

She grabbed a mop and began attempting to sop up some of the water since she had exhausted all of the towels in her laundry room.

"Damnit!" she exclaimed as more water began to pour from underneath her sink. Just then someone rang her doorbell. "Thank god!" She ran to the door and opened it, squeezing some of the water from her dress. "Hello."

"Hi," the man greeted, coming equipped with tool box and the usual plumber look. "Andrew Locke from Locke's plumbing."

"You got here just in time," the woman said. "My kitchen is about to become a part of the Hudson."

"Well let's see what I can do Mrs..."Andrew greeted, unsure of her name.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Where are my manners?" She held her hand out to shake Andrew's hand. "I'm Carolyn Shepherd."

* * *

**Will not comment on this… I'll let your mind wander for a little… but… I answered your prayers (sort of) about Mer/Der. Emily's birthday was very bittersweet but it did bring them together again, at least for one night.**

**Please let me know what you think about this chapter! This is the turning point in the story!**

**R&R!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily Elizabeth Shepherd (or at the moment Rachel Marie Locke) and that bastard Jason Hartley (or at the moment Andrew Locke)… no one else!**

**So, you were all clearly not expecting that little twist were you? Bet you are all glad you stayed aboard the bumpy ride that is this fic lol! Now let's continue… with chapter 23!**

* * *

"Mrs. Shepherd," Andrew nodded.

"Oh please, call me Carolyn," Carolyn told him. "Now come this way and you will see what a mess my kitchen has become." Carolyn grabbed him by the arm. "Please forgive the state of my house, it is usually a lot cleaner but I had to act quickly before the entire middle floor is flooded." Andrew stepped into the kitchen and looked around. There was a reason he chose this as a career path back when he was a fresh out of high school Jason Hartley. He found a wife he was in love with and she was pregnant with a baby girl. He needed to get paid, without having to know a lot, and he always was good at thinking on his feet.

"You do have quite a leak," Andrew said as he surveyed the damage. "I'll start off by turning off your water supply. That way the leaking stops."

"That would be wonderful," Carolyn smiled as Andrew went outside in order to turn off the pipes. When he was finished he returned inside.

"Did this just begin?" he questioned.

"Yes it did, an hour ago maybe, when I tried to wash some dishes," Carolyn explained. Andrew nodded and grabbed his toolbox and knelt underneath the sink.

"Then there will hopefully not be all that much water damage," Andrew said. "It looks like you just have a leaky pipe. I'll be able to fix that easily."

"Thank you so much Andrew… it's funny, I have a grandson named Andrew, we call him Drew, do you prefer to be called anything?" Carolyn questioned.

"Andrew is fine," he nodded. "How many grandchildren do you have?"

"21…" she said proudly. "Or… um… 20 I guess." She looked down and Andrew realized something had happened to her 21st so he did not ask any questions about that.

"That's a lot," he breathed.

"Five children," Carolyn said proudly. "Are you married?"

"Was," Andrew muttered out.

"Children?" she questioned.

"Would rather not talk about it," Andrew showed a face of disgust. God was he a great actor. If it wasn't for being a criminal, he could move to L.A or try out for Broadway.

"I'm sorry," Carolyn said solemnly.

"It's fine… you didn't know," Andrew dismissed it and busied himself among his work, listening to Carolyn walk around the kitchen most likely trying to clean up. He didn't look up for anything more than a tool or two, an uncomfortable silence settling on the house.

"You are an awfully quiet man Andrew," Carolyn informed him. "Nothing like my son, he has the biggest ego and a big mouth."

"Sounds like a buddy of mine," Andrew smirked. "I let him do the talking, I do the wooing."

"So you have your own little system huh?" Carolyn smiled.

"You could call it that," Andrew said.

"What's his name?" she asked.

"Howard," he gritted out. It was half true, although he was no longer alive. Howard did the dirty work of their previous partnership. Worked out all of the loopholes while all Andrew had to do was act around whatever he laid out for him. He was very lucky Howard had left the birth certificates and everything in the house before he killed him, otherwise, when Rachel got older, she would be forced to stay in her bedroom.

"Interesting… well… I…" Carolyn began but Andrew stood up.

"Done," he nodded.

"Already?" she gasped.

"I am very good at what I do ma'am," Andrew smiled.

"Clearly," she breathed.

"Just gonna turn on the water and see if my patch will hold up," he told her. Once he saw that it was perfect, he handed her the bill. "I have to order a more permanent patch and I will call you once it is in."

"That's cheap," she commented as she looked at the bill. "Last plumber I had nearly cost me $2000."

"When I come to put the more permanent patch on it will cost more," he informed her.

"But it's still good," Carolyn smiled widely. She just found a plumber.

"That's why I'm good ma'am," he told her. "Only me in my small house, truck's owned by Howard, I try and give back for what I don't need."

"Well… if I have any other problems, you know who I will call," Carolyn said. "Mind if I hand some of your cards out?"

"No Ma'am," Andrew shook his head. "Now if you'd excuse me, I must be going. The bill can be paid whenever; I have a lot more houses to do today."

"Alright," Carolyn said, walking him to the door. "As soon as I get out to the bank."

"Whenever," he shrugged again and bid goodbye to the older woman. He'd like to say that she reminded him of his mother, but, his mother was a bitch. A cold-hearted bitch that let his father beat the shit outta him. Maybe if she had Mrs. Shepherd as a mother he wouldn't have been such an asshole to his own _real_ wife and daughter.

He hopped from house to house for the rest of the day, arriving back at his house at around 8pm. When he opened the door and turned on the light, he would have never guessed what the hell his daughter was doing sleeping on the couch. But he could see that the door to her bedroom was open at the top of the steps.

"RACHEL!" he boomed and slammed the door shut; watching as the little girl with short blond curly hair and blue eyes shot up and turned around to look at him, fear evident in her bright blue eyes.

* * *

Meredith was disoriented as she opened her eyes, surprised to find herself on her couch, comfortable in someone's embrace. That embrace was no one other than the man she believed would eventually be her ex-husband.

"Derek," she murmured, realizing he too was asleep. She wondered how they got there. From evidence around them, it seemed that they did exactly what Meredith wished they could have done after Emily's funeral. They talked. They kissed. They said I love you's. They made up. Meredith thought it was all a dream, but she was clearly awake now. "Derek," she repeated, nudging him this time.

"Hm… what," he mumbled.

"It's 7pm," she informed him.

"That long," he murmured gruffly. "We were just…" Just talking. Just making up. But he remembered exactly what happened last when he looked at the tv screen.

"Is that her first birthday party?" Mer asked. On the screen sat a baby Emily on her mother's lap. Hands mid clap as a present sat in front of her.

"Seems like it," Derek sighed. "Two years ago today."

"Two years ago she was ours Derek," Mer whimpered.

"I know Mer," Derek whispered and kissed her head. "I know."

"It's not fair," Mer sighed. "I said that… so many times but… what did she do to deserve this?"

"I wish I knew Meri," Derek said, pulling her close.

"It's… it's dark out Derek," Mer said. "Do you… you want to stay for dinner and then maybe…"

"Let's take things slow Mer," Derek said. "We had this talk. Maybe in a week we can have dinner… maybe tomorrow…"

"You can drive me into work," she offered. "My car has been on the fritz and… I need it checked."

"Sounds great," he smiled widely. He got up and Mer walked him to his car. "I'll see you tomorrow…"

"See ya," she mumbled. "I-I-lo-"

"I know Mer," Derek told her cupping her face and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I do too." Mer sighed and realized that was all they could really offer at the moment. In all the stress they could say it, but right now, things were too tender. The fights, the strife, the healing process needed to take more time for it to be successful. She watched as his lights disappeared down their long driveway before turning back inside.

For the first night in five months, Meredith had a full night of sleep despite the fact her husband was not next to her. The sheer prospect of the fact he might be next to her again in a few weeks were enough.

Derek felt the same way. For not sleeping at all that night, wanting the clock to stop at 11:59 so the third birthday of his dead daughter would not come; he was happy it did. Despite the tears, the fact that his baby girl never turned three, he finally made up with his wife and that was enough to put him to sleep that night.

When they woke up the next morning, they got ready for work, just as they would have two days ago, except things were different. They didn't regret it, they didn't have to worry about seeing each other in the halls of the hospital, and they were going into work together for the first time since a few weeks after Emily was first kidnapped.

"Mer," Derek called into the house, without ringing the doorbell.

"Not bothering to knock huh?" Mer smirked.

"Oh… I…" Derek began.

"It's fine," Mer smiled as she grabbed her purse. "Let's go." On the ride over they didn't say much, because they didn't have to. Just being in a normal routine in each other's company made them happier than words could express.

As they came into the hospital parking lot, Derek took a deep breath and opened her car door for her to get out.

"I always loved it how chivalry never died with you," Mer smiled.

"Comes with the ego I guess," he chuckled. Mer shook her head and moved closer to him. He put an arm gently around her and held her close. When they walked through the doors, they immediately felt all eyes on them. When they went onto the elevator, they immediately heard the hushed whispers.

It wasn't until they approached the nurses' station before they recognized anyone. The entire corridor went silent as they entered. Lexie, Mark, Izzie, Alex, Callie, Arizona, George, Cristina, and Owen were there, staring, in awe.

"What the hell," Mark muttered.

"Is this some sort of joke?" Izzie demanded. "If so… it's not funny."

"It's not Iz," Mer sighed. "We… we finally grew up I guess and realized our mistakes."

"So what, you're just back together," Izzie continued. "One day can't do that!"

"We never said we were back together… but we're trying," Derek offered.

"How…" Izzie began again.

"I'll explain later," Meredith offered. "But there is something I need to do first." She approached Lexie timidly.

"What?" Lexie gasped. Mer smiled sadly and felt Derek's hand on her back. When Lexie announced she was pregnant, it had been a shock. Meredith was the first in their group to get pregnant. Emily had been the only child in their family and with Emily gone; there was no one, until now. Izzie had been ecstatic, George had been supportive, Alex and Cristina had snarky words, Mark was acting as the proud daddy, and Meredith had said nothing,

For the past month the sisters had barely spoken despite how hard Lexie tried. Meredith ignored her. Shot her down. As if she had broken an unspoken shrine that said no one could get pregnant because her daughter was gone; and that pissed Lexie off.

"I haven't been a good sister," Meredith shook her head. "I've been selfish. You're three months pregnant and I haven't even acknowledged it yet. I should be helping you plan the nursery. Plan the baby shower. Answer questions because I have done it before… I've been a bitch."

"I wouldn't say bitch," Lexie whispered.

"That's beside the point," Mer sighed. "I haven't been there for you… and I am so sorry. I… I really don't know what to say to make it up to you." She looked into her sisters eyes. "Except congratulations." Mer gave her a genuine smile. Something no one has seen since the day of Em's funeral.

"Thank you," Lexie gasped and embraced her. All of a sudden she began sobbing. "Thank you so much."

"It's something I should have done a long time ago," she whispered and lifted her arms to hug her back, meeting the gaze of approval from Mark, Izzie, and the rest of her friends.

"Mer," Derek whispered as she broke off from Lexie. Lexie in turn, turned to Mark crying. "Remember what you were saying what Emily did to deserve wha-what happened to her…"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"I've been thinking," Derek sighed. "All of this fighting… it's been stupid. And I know we know this already. We've been acting like children and… and the fact that Emily is dead is not the whole point."

"Then what is Derek," she asked, turning towards him.

"We… we had two amazing years with our baby girl… and all I keep thinking is…" Derek trailed off.

"What?"

"What did we do to deserve _her_?" Meredith gave him a small smile as he pulled her in to an overwhelming hug.

"I guess we'll never know," Mer shook her head and buried her head deep within his arms.

* * *

**So, I will tell you now that I am not misleading you in any way with what is happening here… Meredith and Derek are slowly rebuilding their relationship and well… I won't really comment on that last bit of the New York POV because, this story is about cliffhangers and cliffhangers are what keep readers (:**

**Sorry that this chapter was sort of uneventful minus the whole Mer/Der even more makeup and Meredith's final congrats to Lexie on being pregnant… the story will pick up really quickly after a few more chapters that are like this… everything will happen so fast you will probably have to reread it a few times… anyway, until then…**

**R&R! It makes me update faster ;)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. I only own Emily/Rachel…**

**This chapter is the final "explanation chapter." It gives excuses, if gives answers to the previous tiny cliffhanger, more Mer/Der time and… well… next chapter all of the action just kind of EXPLODES :D**

* * *

_"RACHEL!" he boomed and slammed the door shut; watching as the little girl with short blond curly hair and blue eyes shot up and turned around to look at him, fear evident in her bright blue eyes._

"Daddy," she whimpered.

"What the HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Andrew screamed.

"I-I- I climbed on my bed, and fell on the door… th-the lock broke!" Rachel whispered.

"And why would you think that's a good idea?" he hissed.

"I wanted to go outside-" Rachel began but broke off as his fist connected with her stomach and she fell to the floor with a bump and quick sob.

"Shut up…" he growled. "Now listen up." Rachel looked up at him in fear. "This is what we are going to do. We will walk out of this door, get in a taxi, go to a store, buy you some clothes, and come back home. You will not say a word unless I squeeze your hand, and it will not be suspicious… UNDERSTAND!"

"We get to go outside," her eyes lit up.

"UNDERSTAND!" Andrew grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her. She let out a scream.

"YES!" she wailed. "Ca-Can I ask you something?"

"What," he hissed in her face.

"Why?" she whispered fearfully.

"Because," Andrew told her. "When you get older, taller, people will get suspicious, and you will need to go to school."

"School," Rachel smiled widely.

"Yes," Andrew muttered. "Now let's go." He pulled her out the door at the same time his neighbor John was leaving.

"Hey Andrew," he called. "I-" he froze when he saw Rachel. "Who's this?"

"Rachel," Andrew said sweetly. "Meet Mr. Kenton, he's going to be your new neighbor."

"Hi," she whispered shyly.

"Who is she Andrew?" John asked.

"She's my daughter," Andrew answered. "Custody battle went sour but I finally got her."

"Congrats," John nodded. "Are you going to need babysitter's at all? I am sure Amy will be willing to help when you are at work." He was talking about his 16 year old daughter.

"Thanks for the offer, but I already have a day care picked out for her," he told him. "But right now we need to go out shopping. Her mother refused to give me any of her clothes."

"Sorry 'bout that man," John said. "Well I'll see you later."

"See ya," Andrew nodded before taking Rachel's hand again, calling for a taxi, and getting in as if everything he said wasn't a lie.

* * *

"Ugh," Derek muttered as his pager went off. He and Meredith were sitting in his office, talking. Mostly about what they could do to get better but unfortunately they were interrupted, or not.

"Pit?" Mer guessed.

"Wanna come?" he asked. Meredith looked up at him and smiled widely.

"We haven't…" Mer began.

"I know, let's go," Derek said happily and left the office, Meredith following eagerly.

"This feels so right doesn't it," she giggled.

"I've missed this," he agreed.

"Do you think things will ever be the same?" Mer asked.

"I don-" he began but was cut off by a frantic paramedic that began to list the vitals off for the child that was laying on the gurney.

"3 year old Daniela McGuire, found in her bed seizing, BP dropped on the scene, vitals low," he listed off. "Parents en route." Meredith stared at the little girl on the gurney with wide eyes.

"Mer, will you be okay?" Derek asked. Not only was it the first case they worked on together In 5 months, but it was a child, the age Emily would have been. She had been working with Nelson, who usually took his left over's and were never children because parents liked Derek more than him.

"I'm fine," Mer said harshly.

"Alright then," Derek said as they hustled her into an exam room to look at her medical history while Meredith listed off medication to pump into her small, fragile, and still thrashing body. Derek started to examine her while Meredith held her hand.

Five minutes later, she was finished seizing, they were waiting for CT to have an opening, and Derek was talking to her parents. Meredith was staying with Daniela, trying extremely hard to push all thoughts of Emily out of her head. Despite the fact that Daniela did not look anything like Emily, Meredith couldn't help but imagine this being her little girl.

Meredith could remember every detail of Emily. The birthmark on her shoulder, the freckles on her nose, the softness of her hands and feet, the scar on her chin from the time she fell of her bike and needed 6 stitches, the twinkle in her bright emerald eyes, and the curly sheen of her dark brown, almost black hair. The little girl in the exam room had almost white bright blond hair that was slightly curly and had bright ice blue eyes. She shouldn't remind her of Emily but she did nonetheless.

"Mommy," the little girl whimpered. Meredith's eyes shifted to Daniela's now opened eyes.

"No Daniela, I am Dr. Shepherd, you are in a hospital," Mer explained.

"Why," she asked.

"There's something wrong and we are trying to find out what," she told her quietly.

"I don't like hospitals," Daniela cried. "My head hurts and I want to go home. I want my Mommy!"

"You can see your Mommy soon, but we need to take care of you right now," Mer reassured. "Can you let us do that? Can you be brave?"

"Okay," she sighed.

"I see she's awake," Derek said, pulling out his flashlight and shining it in her eyes briefly. "Hi sweetie, I am Dr. Shepherd."

"But she's Dr. Shepherd," she pointed out, pointing to Meredith.

"She's my wife," Derek smiled. "Now we are going to go upstairs and put you in this machine called a CT. It's not going to hurt but we will need you to lie really still, can you do that?"

"Can I see my Mommy?" Daniela asked,

"After we're done," Derek promised.

"I can do it," she nodded.

"Good girl," Derek smiled and nodded to Meredith and the nurse to wheel her upstairs. Meredith got her situated in CT before going into the observation room where she met Derek.

"Hey," he nodded after they sat in silence for several minutes.

"This is what I really missed," Mer mentioned.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Seeing-" Mer began but again was caught off as the lab technician alerted them.

"Damnit," hissed Derek as he saw the small tumor that was visible in the right side of her brain.

"Can you get it Der?" Mer asked quietly.

"It'll be difficult, but yeah, I think I should get most of it… with any luck it won't be cancerous and she'll never have another problem… get an OR prepped. We should get it out now before she has another seizure," Derek ordered. Mer nodded and obeyed.

Surgery always gave her a rush, but brain surgery was the best. But the best surgeries were always with her husband. She loved the sound of that. Her _husband_. It was the first time in such a long time that she could call him her husband. She hardly remembered the surgery, just the skill of Derek and the fact that he let her make the initial cut. That's what they both loved most about surgeries together. The fact that they were in synch the whole time. How one could start and the other could finish. It was why they were perfect for each other.

It went flawlessly, the entire tumor was out and Daniela was now in recovery with her parents. While Meredith watched, she couldn't help be envious. Daniela would be going home with her parents in a couple weeks god forbid the tumor was not cancerous while Meredith and Derek could never take Emily home.

From outside Meredith watched Derek as he examined her, talked to her parents, and gave her a sticker for her IV bag. When he met her outside, she was almost in tears.

"Mer, what's wrong," he put his hand under chin. "Are you okay?"

"I never got to finish what I was saying earlier," Mer whimpered. "The one thing I missed more than working with you is…"

"Is what Meri?" he questioned.

"Seeing how amazing you are with children," she whispered before sobbing in his arms.

* * *

_Several weeks later…_

"Rachel get back here!" Andrew snapped.

"But I wanna go to daycare," she wailed. "I don't wanna go back in the basement."

"Too bad," he hissed. "Miss Harper is sick and can't take care of you."

"But Jimmy and I were going to get married today," she said. Andrew rolled his eyes at his daughter.

"Too bad," he grabbed her arm where she yelped. A large bruise was already there.

"But it's the morning daddy, beatings are at night," Rachel informed him with a whimper.

"Are you going to daycare today?" he hissed.

"No… I haven't been there for four days," she sighed. "I like it at daycare… I get fruit snacks and…"

"And what? I don't provide for you," he growled. "You get bread and water everyday don't you?"

"Only a little. I'm still hungry," she cried.

"Too bad… like I said… you aren't going to daycare today," he yelled. "Now get down there."

"But Howard's down there," she shivered. "It's cold and wet and… I'm hungry."

"Stop saying that!" he screamed and grabbed her arms where he knew the bruises were before giving her a little shake. "No food today!"

"I wanna go to daycare!" she sobbed. He slammed her against the wall.

"Now listen up kid, if I count to three and you are not downstairs in the basement, I will beat you so fucking hard that you will never be able to go to daycare and marry Jimmy again! Got it!" he yelled in her face. She nodded and scampered down, allowing him to slam the door and lock it.

Andrew's plan had gone sour this week. Their usual routine was beating at night when he got home, attending to her wounds, going to bed, getting up the next morning, threatening her to stay quiet, bringing her to day care, going to work, picking her up, and starting it over again.

Miss Harper was sick though which meant she couldn't watch the brat this week. Even though other parents offered to watch Rachel, he refused because she did not know to stay quiet about what he did to them. This of course led to her having to stay home alone again until Miss Harper was well again.

He told them his friend Howard was watching her, but, he was dead. Technically he was still in the house though so it was not a complete lie since she was downstairs in the basement, the only place she couldn't escape from since it was dark, and the door was on the stairs.

Andrew grabbed his stuff for work, hearing Rachel's cries from downstairs, smiled, turned on the tv to drown it out, and left the house.

* * *

"So, when are you going to call Mom," Mer told him as she grabbed him coffee and sat it down for him.

"When I am ready," Derek answered.

"It's Mom you're talking about," Meredith smiled. "She'll find out eventually and be pissed we didn't tell her."

"You still call her Mom?" Derek questioned.

"Why not?" Mer shrugged. "We're still married, we may not be living together but… she's still my mom."

"You know that's not what I meant," Derek told her. This was one of the rare mornings where neither of them had to work. They fell into this routine where Derek would stay till about 11 before leaving for the hotel, then at 6 the next morning he'd come back to have breakfast with Meredith before to work together.

The two of them were all but inseparable. They weren't healed, but they were close. But, they were happy.

"I know," Mer smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "But… I really don't want to get the wrath of Carolyn Shepherd."

"At least you didn't grow up with her," Derek reminded her.

"Oh god, I couldn't imagine what she'd say about the pink hair stage," Mer giggled.

"She went through it with Liz, but… it was purple," he laughed.

"No wonder she's my favorite," she smirked.

"You never told me what you did when you visited them," Derek said. Mer frowned slightly.

"I didn't do much of anything… it hurt… being away from you and all the kids reminding me of…"

"I understand, my sisters are a tad overbearing."

"Tad is not the word I'd use," Mer joked. "I don't think there's an accurate description out there." Derek chuckled. "Kinda like trying to describe the size of your ego."

"That hurt Mer," Derek muttered.

"But it is so true," Mer giggled, sitting on his lap. "But it's one of my favorite things about you."

"Not the hair?" Derek asked. "Or my smile? Or my nose?" Meredith started laughing out loud.

"Like I said… the ego."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Only someone with a big ego could think that that nose is one of your better qualities," she bit her lip.

"It must be Pick on Derek day or something," Derek sighed.

"You know I love you Der," Mer whispered.

"I'll never forget again," Derek smiled. They sat in silence except for the hum of the coffee machine for what seemed like hours, his words lingering in the air.

"Derek… do you want to move back in?" Mer asked quietly.

"I thought you'd never ask," Derek said happily, picked her up, gave her a tiny spin before planting a kiss on her awaiting lips.

* * *

"Derek Shepherd, I will kill you one day or another," Carolyn Shepherd muttered as she got his cell phone voicemail. "It's been months since I had a conversation with you longer than two minutes." With a sigh she hung up and went upstairs to send him an email as well.

"That boy is going to be the death of me," she shook her head and froze as she heard the sound of rushing water coming from her bathroom. "What in the world!" she exclaimed and ran towards. "Not again!"

The bathroom, a lot like her kitchen was filled with water.

"Live in a house for forty years and this is what happens," she muttered before running back downstairs to find the card for Andrew Locke's plumbing.

She felt bad doing this though knowing that he probably had so much on his mind. When he came two weeks ago with the part for her kitchen sink, he looked distracted. After her motherly interrogation, she got him to admit that he just won a custody battle for his three year old daughter Rachel. Her mother ran away with her two years ago and was found and arrested for kidnapping a few days earlier.

He now had custody of Rachel, but she did not remember him and he was having a very difficult time. She could imagine the gorgeous little girl she was seeing as he was an extremely handsome man. She was looking forward to seeing him again just to see a picture of her. But, Andrew was such a troubled young man, trying to make a living in New York, and seriously considered not calling for him to give him some break. Her mind was quickly changed when she heard a crash from upstairs.

"Hello, Andrew… this is Carolyn Shepherd, I have another problem."

* * *

**Sorry for the boring, not great chapter… but… Did you see what I did with Daniela? She has blond curly hair and blue eyes, maybe a little foreshadow or whatever ;)**

**Like I said before… EXPLODES! (Next chapter is the beginning, so it's not going to be like Hydrogen bomb explosion but the next chapter… OMG lol! I am quite a tease ;])**

**Please R&R!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Only Emily/Rachel and Jason/Andrew! **

**This chapter is not the explosions exactly, but the part where the people who place the bombs place them if that makes sense. Everything that happens in this chapter starts the domino effect of the BOOM (: So please hang in there… A lot of it is Mer/Der fluff…**

* * *

Andrew went up the now familiar steps of Carolyn Shepherd's house. The first time he had seen it, he had not paid much attention. In the five months he worked as a plumber in New York, he encountered snotty rich people who lived in the Hamptons, the prostitutes who lived in any old dirty apartments, but never a single sixty year old mother of five who had the ability to make him feel how his mother never let him feel.

"Andrew, thank god you're here," Carolyn exclaimed before he even rang the doorbell. "My poor old house is falling apart. This is what I get for not moving out when my children moved out but I seem to not be able to give up annual holiday dinners."

"What seems to be the problem?" Andrew asked.

"My upstairs bathroom this time," she huffed. "If I knew how bad these pipes were going to fail this much…"

"It could not be the pipes, just faulty previous plumbing jobs," Andrew reassured.

"I turned off the water," Carolyn informed him. "And most of the water is already cleaned up."

"I'll go take a look at it," he nodded at her. She followed him upstairs to keep herself occupied. Despite the fact that her girls were constantly visiting, she welcomed a male presence in her house. Andrew shifted uncomfortably, even though he trusted Carolyn Shepherd, he did not trust people looking at him so closely. After a quick look, it seemed as if it was the same problem as her kitchen pipes and provided it's quick fix. That meant he would be back again. Andrew almost felt excited.

After informing Carolyn of this, he made a quick stop at his truck and was surprised to find her busy in the kitchen.

"Andrew, do you have any other calls to make today?" she asked.

"Not until 4," he answered.

"Then sit," she commanded.

"What?" he chuckled uncomfortably.

"My son is never here for me to cook for him, " she said. "Now I'm not going to except no for an answer."

"Carolyn," he shook his head. "I couldn't impose."

"Nonsense," Carolyn reassured. "If you're going to be my go to plumber and my house is going at the rate it is, I'm going to need to get to know you." Without meeting her eyes he gulped.

"Alright," he said nervously and took a seat at her kitchen table.

"Now, how has Rachel adjusted?" she asked.

"Excuse me," he gasped.

"Your daughter," she pressed.

"Oh," Andrew said. "My daughter."

"How old is she again?" Carolyn asked.

"Almost three," he answered.

"What's her care situation?" she questioned. "Where is she now?"

"I have a day care picked out for her," Andrew clarified. "The woman who runs it is sick today so she is in the care of my neighbor's 16 year old daughter."

"Is she better off now?"

"Much," he nodded. And it was true in a sense. "She's talking a lot more. Asking less about her mother. I think we are going to be good." He watched as she placed a plate in front of him. In contained what looked like a sandwich but tasted much better than any other sandwich he ever had. "This is amazing," he commented.

"It should be, it's my son's favorite," Carolyn chuckled.

"Your son is a very lucky man," Andrew smirked.

"I'm sure your mother loves to cook for you," she supplied.

"Dead," he said darkly.

"I'm sorry."

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Of course," she nodded and she directed the conversation back to Rachel. Between bites, Andrew was able to spew lies out like nothing. It surprised even him. Once he was finished, he began to excuse himself when Carolyn's phone rang. "It's my daughter Andrew, do you mind showing yourself out?"

"Of course not," he shook his head. "I'll call you when the parts come in."

"Thank you," Carolyn smiled and answered the phone. "Nancy, hi…"

"Goodbye," he nodded and opened the front door.

"Are you kidding me! And they didn't call me… Dere-" Andrew shut the door to cut her off. He froze. Was she about to say Derek? As in Derek Shepherd? As in the asshole who killed his daughter? The man whose daughter he kidnapped?

"No," he whispered confidently. Carolyn may have the same last name Shepherd but she lived in New York, he lived in Seattle. They seemed close and he doubted they'd be that close if they lived across the country from each other. "It couldn't be."

* * *

"They know," Derek whispered as he walked into the house with a final box of his stuff from his apartment.

"Who knows what?" Meredith questioned, following behind him closely.

"My family, they know," he sighed.

"How do you know that?" she asked.

"Look at the answering machine," Derek pointed out. Meredith saw that the red light was flashing.

"That doesn't mean-" Mer broke off as she looked closely. "Shit." Sure enough, there were at least ten missed calls. The last one being two minutes ago. "So maybe they do."

"And we didn't tell Mom ourselves."

"We're screwed," she muttered.

"So do we call Mom or…" the phone rang. "How does she do that?"

"She's Mom," Mer smirked. "Answer it."

"You answer it," Derek shot back.

"We'll both answer it," she sighed and hit speaker.

"Derek Christopher and Meredith Elizabeth Shepherd!" Carolyn's voice came over the speaker. "Why in the world have you not called me yet! Why would you not call and tell me! What did I do to deserve this?"

"Mom-" Mer began.

"I'm not done yet," she hissed. "Your daughter was kidnapped and killed, I get it. You were upset and devastated, but the two of you acted like fools! It was neither of your fault yet you blamed each other. You spent 5 months without speaking! And then… all of a sudden, with no warning, I hear you're back together again! Have you two been lying to us or…"

"Mom, calm down," Derek said.

"Don't tell me to calm down Derek Christopher, I am in no mood to calm down," Carolyn barked. "You destroyed your family for the sake of getting back together?"

"Mom, let us talk please," Meredith said.

"I'm listening," Carolyn said.

"We are too," voices came from behind.

"You really gathered up the troops Ma," Derek chuckled.

"Talk," Carolyn barked.

"So this is what happened," Mer explained. "On Em's birthday, we both had off and Derek showed up on the front step. It was a shock but a relief, and I let him in."

"She offered me coffee, we sat on the couch, and we just… talk… for hours," he breathed.

"It cleared the air, we weren't perfect, we weren't fixed, but we were in a better place than before," Mer explained. "We even worked together and walked in together at work for the first time."

"From then on we just went out of our way to talk, fix things," Derek said. "I am moving back in today, not like it was sudden, but two weeks or more after our initial make-up, we took our time."

"And we've been looking for a couple's counselor that could help us rebuild our relationship, and maybe even help with our grief over Emily," Meredith finished and they went silent.

"Are you done?" Kathleen asked.

"Yes," Derek said.

"Good god, they found their brains!" Nancy exclaimed.

"Are you really sure they aren't voice recordings?" Meg questioned.

"Well we're pretty sure of that Meg," Mer giggled.

"What do you have to say for yourselves?" Carolyn asked.

"We're sorry to each other and all of you, we put you in the worst situation and Em's funeral and… we're sorry," Derek repeated.

"I'm so proud of you!" Carolyn exclaimed. "If I was there I'd kiss you both but I can't leave because my house is falling apart and the plumber will be here in a few days."

"I could always fix it for you Ma," Derek told her.

"No thanks, I trust this man," Carolyn reassured.

"And not me," Derek feigned hurt.

"Who do you think did the original repairs… your father… so no," Carolyn chuckled and Derek smirked at Mer.

"We need to finish unpacking," Derek excused.

"Don't be a stranger!" Liz spoke up. "If you think you are ignoring us for Thanksgiving you are sadly mistaken."

"Of course not," Mer giggled. "Goodbye." They hung up before any could protest.

"Let's get my things to our room," Derek smiled widely and linked hangs with Meredith to grab the boxes and finally be home again.

* * *

Meredith and Derek both stared at the building in front of them guiltily. The last time they saw anyone from this building, they were screaming at each other and them, devastated that they gave up on Emily and they lost her forever.

"You ready?" Mer asked.

"As I'll ever be," Derek gulped.

Their first session with the couple's counselor had been yesterday. The two of them had gone almost two hours over their scheduled time. When the talking began, it just flowed and everything was let out in the open. Dr. Walker, the counselor, had said she never saw two people so willing to get over their strife and their grief and become one a couple again. She mentioned how sorry she was on the loss of their daughter, gave tidbits, but all in all, they'd probably be done going to her in no time. Both Mer and Der liked her, until she said the final thing.

Go to the Seattle precinct, and apologize to Officer White and Martin.

With a sigh they both walked into the building and towards their squad room. They found Officer Martin sitting at her desk. The bulletin board was still there, now with vast more things on it. Emily picture was now on the deceased side.

"Dr. Shepherd's!" Officer Martin exclaimed.

"Hi," Mer offered a smile as she rushed over. Officer White followed more slowly.

"May I ask what you're doing here?" he asked.

"Apologizing," Derek said. "It took us almost 6 months to find that out, plus the 2 months Em was missing and we kept blaming you."

"Well… thank you," Officer Martin breathed.

"We knew you were trying your best and that you did all you could… now at least," Mer supplied. "We're back together, we're… regretfully moving on with our life. Emily will always be in our hearts but… things are different now."

"Congrats," Officer White breathed.

"Thank you for being there for us, the months we didn't know, and even the funeral where you weren't wanted," Mer added. She broke off to hug Officer Martin. She stepped back a little shocked but hugged her back happily.

"You're welcome," she nodded as Mer let go. "Do you… um… do you want to see how we have been tracking Jason's movements after he went to Minnesota?"

"Yes," Derek said immediately. Officer White smiled for the first time since he saw them.

"We have reason to believe he stayed in Minnesota for a few days because soon after, a man with a similar face structure but different hair showed up two days later at a different airport in the area," he explained. "From there he got on a plane to Tennessee, then Georgia. From… there… he uh…"

"Flew to Seattle didn't he," Mer said darkly. "Because that would be around the day of Em's funeral."

"He's an awful SOB," Officer Martin growled. "From Seattle, he went to Connecticut and then… he disappeared. We only recently found this and have not gotten all of the footage from surrounding airports from where he landed in Connecticut. Some misplaced them because it was 5 months ago. We are confident we can find where he finally settled down once we get the missing footage. But there is also a possibility that he settled down in Connecticut."

"So… he hasn't been flying under the radar is what you are saying," Derek murmured.

"Yes," Officer Martin nodded. "At this rate, he'll be in custody in no time."

"And this time, I believe you," Mer smiled widely. She turned to them, this time hugging Officer White. It wasn't finding Emily, her daughter was dead, but it was the next best thing. The bastard would finally pay for what he did.

* * *

**So let's go over the things now. Andrew is suspicious or wondering about Carolyn's family. Everyone knows Mer and Der are back together. Meredith and Derek are now seeing a couple's counselor. And the police are slowly getting hints to where Jason is located… how is that all going to play out…**

**R&R and keep reading to find out ;)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I only own Rachel (Emily) and Andrew (Jason), nothing else!**

**I have one word for you… ****EXPLODES****!**

* * *

"Room or basement?" Andrew asked.

"I get to choose," Rachel croaked out.

"Now before I change my mind," he snapped.

"Room," she said immediately. Her room no longer had blackened windows because the neighbors knew about her and he could not raise any more suspicion then there could already possibly be.

"Off you go," he nodded. Rachel turned around and looked briefly at the kitchen. "Now or you won't get food when I go home."

"Water?" she asked.

"Not now," Andrew shook his head. Rachel hung her head and stumbled up the stairs. When she tripped, it revealed a large bruise on the back of her leg. That was the reason she was not returning to day care yet, the week she had been forced to stay home had been hard for both of them. She got in her room and turned around.

"Daddy, when are you coming home?" Rachel questioned.

"I only have on job today, soon," he reassured. Rachel nodded and sat down on her bed. Andrew shook his head and locked the door while pushing a desk and chair from the hallway against it.

"Bye daddy," her little voice was heard from behind the wall. Andrew shook his head; it was when she was cute and pathetic like that when he almost regretted hitting her. _Almost_.

Right when the soft cries began was when Andrew left the house after grabbing his things and keys. Hopping into the car, he went to the only person he felt he could talk to anymore, unless he counted going into the basement as talking to Howard which could be considered borderline insane.

"Andrew," Carolyn Shepherd rejoiced before he even knocked.

"Carolyn," Andrew smiled eager to do work for her, talk, and probably get a meal out of it. Something his daughter didn't know of anymore.

* * *

"Meredith," Derek called into the house. "Mer?" There was no answer from his wife. She had a shift that ended earlier than him, yet there was no sign she was in the house except for her car in the driveway. That was until he went to the kitchen table.

_Don't freak Derek; I'm just upstairs… waiting for you ;)_

_~ Mer_

A smile spread across Derek's face as he put the note down. He knew exactly what she was hinting around to, something that was scary to both of them, but Dr. Walker had talked with them for over two sessions that went at least a half hour over schedule and confirmed that it was indeed time.

Nervously and excitedly, he walked up the stairs to his and Mer's room. Immediately his eyes widened. Surrounding the room were different lit candles, illuminating the room. On the floor leading to the bed were rose petals. On the bed…

"Hey Derek," Mer whispered, standing up. On her body, if you could call it anything really on her body, was lacy lingerie that hugged every curve to her tiny body.

"God Mer," he groaned.

"You like?" she smirked. Derek just stared at her. "Or… is it too much?" Derek opened his mouth to speak but she continued to ramble. "I knew it… I am so corny; this was such a stupid idea. I was just, you know, trying to make our first time since, it happened, special but this was corny, stupid and… god I am an idiot!" She began pacing the room.

"Mer!" Derek tried to interrupt.

"I mean I didn't even ask," Mer muttered. "How do I know you want to? Cause you know, sex makes babies and our baby was taken and…"

"Mer," he said grabbing her shoulders. Mer looked up. "Shut up." She looked confused but the look of confusion was replaced by his lips on hers.

"So…"

"You're adorable," Derek whispered. "But you talk _too_ much." Mer giggled as he pressed his lips against hers and lifted his shirt over his head.

"God Der I love you," Mer gasped as he tore of her top and they fell to the bed; beginning to make love. This was the final step to healing their relationship. They apologized, they talked, they visited Em's gravesite together, they told their family, they dealt with their grief, they made it part of their lives, a life that they could live without hurting too much.

"I love you too," he grunted.

"I'll never let you go again," Mer promised.

"No more talking," Derek smiled, his hands making her way to her pants. Any coherent words in either of their heads were immediately wiped from their brains, that was, of course, until they were done.

"That was amazing," Derek murmured. Mer didn't respond as he lay next to her. For a second he thought it was because she was basking in the moment, but that was until her entire body began shaking. "Mer," he gasped. He turned towards her worriedly. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Derek," she sobbed. "I want my Emily back!" He felt a lump grow in his throat as she curled in a fetal position. As quick as he could, he ran into the bathroom and began filling the bath rub.

"Shh Mer, I know," he whispered coming back.

"I-I-I miss her so much," Mer choked out.

"Me too," he breathed and wrapped his arms around her. The fact that her body was shaking uncontrollably and it would be almost impossible for her to get up. Derek lifted her petite body and placed it in the bath tub.

"Derek," she whispered. "Can you join me?" Derek didn't answer but stepped in the tub behind her and wrapped his arms around her stomach. A position he used to assume when they'd take bath's together when Mer was pregnant with Em. "She's in a better place right."

"No better place," Derek agreed.

"You're wrong," she shook her head.

"What do you mean Mer?" he questioned.

"She belongs with us," Mer whimpered. "The only place she should be is with us." Derek closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to the back of her head. He couldn't say it out loud, but he totally and completely agreed with her. Their lives would never be the same without their little princess Emily.

* * *

"Andrew Locke," Carolyn called up the stairs. "I am so glad you are dedicated to finishing my bathroom today but you have been working for three hours straight. If you do not come down in five minutes for a lunch break I will throw this Panini out!" Andrew smirked as he put down the wrench. This job was a lot more difficult than her kitchen sink and he was only about half finished.

"You drive a hard bargain Mrs. S," Andrew chuckled, jogging down the stairs.

"Cute," she teased. "Carolyn please Andrew."

"Sorry," he apologized.

"So, how is Rachel?" she asked like always.

"Carolyn," Andrew shook his head. "I've told you enough about my family which consists of myself and Rach, what about yours? All I know is that you have 5 children."

"And 21… er 20 grandchildren," Carolyn said, correcting herself as she said 21.

"Oh my goodness," he gasped.

"My children are Nancy, Kathleen, Derek, Elizabeth, and Megan," she answered as Andrew took a bite of his sandwich. Immediately he sucked in a breath and choked briefly. He took a deep breath. How many Derek Shepherd's could there be in the world? Tons probably. "I have a picture of them all from last Christmas, let me go get it." Andrew gulped.

"Calm down Jason," he hissed to himself, so worried he actually called himself his old name.

"Here it is," Carolyn rejoiced, returning from the living room. She turned it towards him and began pointing to each small family in the large family in the picture. "Nancy and Tom have four children, twins Nicholas and Rebecca who are 14, David who is 7, and Amy who is 5. Kathleen and Matthew have five children, Michael who is 12, Sarah who is 11, Andrew who is 8, Alyse who is 5, and Morgan who is nine months old. Elizabeth and Sean have six. They were Alison who is 13, Jenna who is 10, twins Kevin and Bridget who are 6, and Audrey who is 3, and now have a baby boy named Brian. Megan and Greg have five children, Lauren who is 13, Connor who is 9, Sammy who is 4, Jessica who is 2, and a baby boy named Kyle." Andrew watched in amazement as she paused at the three people standing nearest the tree.

"This is my son Derek," she said finally. "And his wife Meredith. They had a little girl named Emily Elizabeth, but several months ago she was kidnapped and killed. She's the girl who's been all over the national news."

Andrew went completely white and spewed out the glass of ice tea he recently to a sip of…

* * *

… **I'll let your minds wander about what is about to happen.**

**PLEASE R&R! More of an explosion comes later and will come faster with more reviews.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: If I have said the same thing for 27 chapters, what makes you think it will change now?**

**Btw, this chapter is short, but filled with action at the end… ENJOY!**

* * *

_"This is my son Derek," she said finally. "And his wife Meredith. They had a little girl named Emily Elizabeth, but several months ago she was kidnapped and killed. She's the girl who's been all over the national news."_

_Andrew went completely white and spewed out the glass of ice tea he recently to a sip of…_

"Andrew?" Carolyn said shocked. "What's wrong?"

"I-uh," he coughed.

"Didn't expect that I was the grandmother of that poor girl, did you?" Carolyn sighed. "Of all the Shepherd's in the world right…" She placed the photo down. "Did you know they still haven't found the man who killed her? Last time I heard, he disappeared around Connecticut."

"I'm sorry Carolyn but I have to go," Andrew blurted out, standing up abruptly.

"No you don't… I'm fine," she shook her head.

"I really have to," he growled and ran to the front door.

"Andrew?" Carolyn questioned. "ANDREW!" By the time she got to the front door, he was already in his truck, speeding off to his house.

"Hey Andrew," John said as he parked in his parking spot and sped into his house. Andrew ignored him, leaving John to narrow his eyes but enter his house anyway. As quickly as he could, Andrew grabbed the extra birth certificates, driver's licenses, and anything else Howard had left him; throwing them in the passenger seat of his car.

"Rachel!" he yelled, throwing the chair on the ground and pushing the desk out of the way. He opened the door to find her curled up asleep on her bed, her cheeks still red, flushed, and wet from crying. "Get up!" he snapped. The little girl's head popped up fearfully.

"Wha-" she began but was cut off with a wail when he snatched her up. Even Andrew was surprised at how light she had become. "Daddy?"

"Shut up," he hissed as he ran down the steps and out the front door, not even bothering to shut it behind him. As quickly as he could, with no one on the street, he shoved Rachel in the back portion of the truck, and took off towards the Lincoln Tunnel.

* * *

"Today's a good day," Mer smiled as she approached her friends at lunch.

"Who are you and what have you done to Meredith Shepherd?" Cristina questioned.

"Derek and I had sex last night," she smirked.

"Oh Mer, I'm so happy for you!" Izzie exclaimed.

"Only Barbie would be happy you had sex," Cristina rolled her eyes.

"So not hungry anymore," George sighed.

"Really O'Malley," Alex scoffed.

"Enough," Meredith huffed. "Why can't you just be happy that Derek and I… we're not moving on but…"

"We're happy for you Mer," Lexie said, sitting down with her four month old pregnant body. "Even if I don't know why you are happy."

"They had sex last night," Cristina answered.

"Speaking of sex," Lexie began. "When you're pregnant… oh my god, it has never been better."

"I know right," Mer smiled. "Enjoy it now, when your little girl or little boy is here, you're getting none of it. I know."

"You really are getting better," Izzie breathed.

"You expected me to lie about that?" Mer questioned. "Guys, my daughter's dead, and I've been mourning her since she was kidnapped. I can mourn more when that bastard who killed her is caught, but right now, I'm in a happy place. I'm remembering Em as who she was to us, our princess."

"Jesus, all because of sex," Alex blurted out.

"Seriously Mer?" Derek questioned as he walked past her lunch table with Mark.

"I'd be happy to scream it across the cafeteria for you," Mer offered.

"Scream what," Mark's eyes widened.

"I don't wanna know," Callie muttered, walking past.

"It was about sex Torres!" Cristina called after her, and the entire cafeteria hushed and looked towards them. The entire table was silent until George got up and threw away his tray. For the first time in months, Meredith enjoyed a laugh that felt so good, her stomach hurt.

* * *

"Now look at this mess!" Carolyn exclaimed as she went up to her bathroom. "What got into that man?" She looked around her bathroom in disgust. His tools, still there, were scattered and overflowing into the hallway, the plaster lay open, and his wallet sat in the middle of the floor. It must have fallen out of his pocket.

"Andrew Locke, you are getting an earful out of me," she muttered and grabbed the phone to dial his number.

_We're sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer connected_.

"What the…" she began.

"MOM!" a voice was heard from downstairs. All of a sudden Carolyn remembered it was a Wednesday. On Wednesday's, both Kathleen and Lizzie had longer lunch hours than usual, and always came to share a cup of coffee. In all the excitement of the past ten minutes, Carolyn had completely forgotten.

"MOM!" Liz's voice called again.

"I'm coming," Carolyn called and hustled down the stairs, Andrew's wallet in hand. "I don't answer for two seconds and you two freak out."

"Sorry," Kathleen said sheepishly. "Weren't sure if you and your plumber friend…"

"Kathleen," Carolyn snapped. "That man is younger than your brother that's just… is this how I raised you?"

"She's not the only one Mom," Liz smirked.

"What am I going to do with you girls," Carolyn shook her head.

"Hi to you too Mom," Kathy hugged her mother.

"Sorry, I'm just really confused right now," she apologized.

"Why?" Kathy questioned.

"Hey, who is this other seat set for?" Liz asked, making her way to the kitchen.

"Andrew," Carolyn answered. "Or it was… I made him take a break from working on my bathroom and before he even finished he just took off."

"Maybe he forgot he had another job he needed to do," Kathleen shrugged.

"He left his tools in my bathroom too," she shook her head. "But he does have a daughter so…"

"Yes, maybe he needed to go and get her," Liz reassured. "No need to fret Mom."

"I am not fretting," Carolyn said sternly and put a cup of coffee on. "So how has your…"

"Is this his wallet?" Kathleen interrupted, spying the foreign wallet Carolyn placed on the counter. She quickly snatched it.

"Is this how I raised you, to snoop in other people's personal effects?" Carolyn put her hands on her hips.

"Not snooping, investigating," she shook her head and opened it.

"Not much in here," Liz concluded, bending her head in towards it. "Is this his daughter?" She pulled out a small photo of a blond girl, looking up at the camera innocently.

"I assume so," Carolyn shrugged. "I never met her nor seen a picture of her, but he did tell me a lot about her… she…"

"She's cute," Liz shrugged. "Blond hair, blue eyes."

"Must take after her mother," Carolyn placed the coffee in front of her girls, looking towards the photo. She motioned to his driver's license. "Looks nothing like him."

"Well, everyone can't have perfect genes like our family," Liz laughed. "Every kid comes out with dark brown curly hair and blue eyes, Em was the only one…" They trailed off. Carolyn shook her head and took a seat at the table, Liz took a sip of her coffee, and Kathleen stared at the photo intently. That's when it clicked.

"That's it!" Kathleen exclaimed.

"What?"

"Look," she hissed. She had stayed silent this entire time, looking at the photo. Something didn't seem right. This little girl didn't look like a blond.

"I don't see…"

"Take away the blond hair and blue eyes and but dark brown curly hair and green eyes…" she said morbidly.

"Holy…" Liz gasped. Kathleen whipped out a photo of Em from her own wallet, the one from her funeral. Carolyn gulped.

"Mom, that man you made friends with, he didn't have a daughter," Kathleen growled. "He stole one!"

"Rachel's Emily," Carolyn whispered. She looked at the two photos side by side, it was inevitable. "Andrew's… Jason." Her face went pale and she looked like she wanted to throw up, or faint.

"Emily's not dead Mom! She's been right under our noses!" Kathleen exclaimed.

"Holy shit," Liz gasped again, unable to say anything else.

"Mom, we got to call the police before he gets away!" Kathy announced. Within five seconds, the phone was in Carolyn's shaking hand. She had always been so good at judging character; the one time that it failed her, could have cost her youngest grandchild her life…

* * *

**Will they get there in time?**

**Please R&R!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily and Jason! (I can finally say that again!)**

**I really have no comment about last chapter and this chapter… except that this basically picks up right after in a different POV.**

* * *

"This woman believes she found that kidnapped girl that man Jason Hartley took," Detective Janice Walker told her partner Detective Kenny Stone. Stone grabbed the file he had on Hartley, one that was transferred over when Connecticut was ruled out and his trail was shown to move towards the city.

"Jan, she's dead, her parents buried an empty casket for her months ago," he informed her.

"She knows that, her name is Carolyn Shepherd, Emily's grandmother," Janice said. "She says Jason has been disguised as a man called Andrew Locke and she has been his daughter Rachel Locke. His cover was a plumber but he left his wallet where they found a picture of Rachel and her family confirmed it was Emily." He typed the name Andrew Locke in his computer.

"Andrew no middle name Locke, moved here six months ago, owns Locke's plumbing… oh…"

"What?"

"There's no record of him… past six months ago," he whispered.

"She's faxing over the picture of Rachel," Janice announced and Kenny rushed to the fax to pick it up. "Okay Mrs. Shepherd, we'll find your granddaughter, thank you." She hung up the phone.

"I'll be damned," he gasped. "It's her."

"Hello, central," Janice barked in her phone once she handed Carolyn over to someone else. "Detective Janice Walker requesting backup at," she glanced briefly at Kenny's computer screen. "1673 W 23rd St in Chelsea. Suspected kidnapper Jason Hartley living undercover. He does indeed have Emily Shepherd in his custody, she is not dead."

"Let go Jan," Stone exclaimed, grabbing his gun and sprinting to the car, putting the lights on immediately. He was followed quickly by his partner and soon most of the precinct. By the time they arrived at the house, it was surrounded by police cars and they noticed neighbors looking around nervously.

"Call a coroner," a police officer hissed and Janice's eyes widened.

"Detective Janice Walker, called this in… did you find Emily? Was she…"

"He cleared out," the officer answered. "Downstairs we identified a strong smell; there we found the body of Jackson Purcell, found with ID of a Howard McGinty. Purcell was a known friend of Hartley in prison, the two of them escaped together. He was a pro ID maker, birth certificates, etc. From the smell he's been dead for months. Probably was helping him out the whole time, for years, and Jason got…"

"Tired of him," Janice finished.

"Some loyalty," Kenny muttered.

"You're guy is still out there," he told him. "But this was definitely his house; we found a prayer card for Emily Shepherd's funeral."

"No more bodies," Janice said.

"Expecting more?" he questioned.

"Hopefully not," Janice sighed. "He's still got the girl Ken."

"This is Detective Kenny Stone," he exclaimed in his walkie talkie. "We are declaring this a state of emergency. Kidnapper Jason Hartley is on the run once again. In his custody is a three year-old girl. Close off all exits to the city. No one is getting in or out until we find them! We need teams at every exit to search. If found, approach with caution, if he threatens the little girl back off, I repeat back off!"

"Where should we go Stone?" Janice asked.

"Lincoln tunnel, he's been known to use Jersey as an escape, search every car," Kenny said hopping into the driver's seat.

* * *

"What the hell?" Jason slammed his fist on the steering wheel, honking loudly. He had to be about in the center of the Lincoln tunnel through traffic and suddenly stopped. There had to be hundreds of cars in front of him and the 1 mph speed he had been going dropped to 0 mph. Suddenly, someone approached his car and he stiffened; letting out a sigh when it was another car driver.

"Dude, do you know what's up?" he questioned as Jason opened his door.

"No, traffic just stopped," Jason gritted out, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

"You guys know what's happening?" the man asked a group of other people.

"Some from up further said that the police are searching for some kidnapper, no one is getting out of the city," he answered. Jason cursed under his breath, he was stuck.

"We better get in our cars," another random person said. "We don't want to be targeted; this whole ordeal will go faster."

"True," Jason nodded and shut his door. He watched as everyone returned to their cars. From the back, he heard something crash, Emily was getting restless and more scared.

He was screwed.

* * *

"Hey Mer," Derek placed a gentle kiss on her lips as he approached her in the resident's lounge. "How are you?"

"Bored outta my mind," she mumbled, deepening the kiss. "Charts."

"Sounds fun," he smirked. "Guess a subdural hematoma, basically solo wouldn't thrill you."

"What time?" she gasped.

"An hour."

"You're spoiling me," Mer smiled.

"I'm your husband, I'm allowed to," Derek reminded her. Suddenly, Mer went quiet.

"Do you think one day we can spoil another kid like we did Emily," Mer spoke up, looking down.

"Don't think like that Mer. Not right now."

"Derek, as much as I miss my baby girl, I also miss being a Mommy."

"You are always going to be Em's Mommy, it won't ever change."

"Will we ever get over it Derek?" Mer questioned.

"I don't think so, but one day, I hope we can love another child just as much as we loved and still love Emily."

* * *

"Thank you for cooperating sir," police officer Anna Wyatt said as she shut his trunk. "We're sorry for the inconvenience. We'll try and get you outta here as soon as we can."

"It'll help catch that bastard," the man nodded. "I heard about him when those parents were on national news; he's a messed up dude."

"I agree completely," she nodded and moved on. After about five more cars, Anna approached a large white van.

"Officer Anna Wyatt, I need to gain access to your van," she announced, knocking on the side. "Answer me." She moved around the side and froze, her hand flying to her gun. The van was empty, the door locked. "I NEED BACK UP OVER HERE!" Within two seconds the van was flanked by fellow officers.

"What is it?" someone asked.

"Driver's missing," she hissed."Van's locked."

"NYPD! Is there anyone in there!" someone exclaimed. "If there is, open up!" A thump answered them.

"Get in the door," Anna commanded someone, moving to the trunk where the thump answered them.

"Detective Janice Walker, I called this in," a woman said next to Anna when she obtained a crowbar. Anna and several others trained their weapons on the back. "WE'RE COMING IN!" Detective Walker yelled as she jammed the crowbar in the door. With a slight tug, the doors flung open.

"Come out with your-" Anna began yelling but froze as a small scream interrupted her. As their eyes readjusted to the darkness of the combinations of the darker tunnel and no light in the back, everyone let out a gasp.

Lying in the middle of the trunk was a girl. Her dark brown, almost black hair was cropped ion a random way, dirty, greasy, and dull. Next to her, sat a blond wig. Her emerald eyes were bloodshot and had tiny scratches underneath them, but otherwise were lifeless and full of fear. The length of her skinny arms were covered in bruises and her ribs shone from underneath the dirty dress that covered her body.

"It's her," someone whispered, holding up a picture of Emily Shepherd.

"Emily," Anna murmured, taking a step forward. Immediately Emily flinched and let out another short scream.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I'm not going to hurt you. No one is ever going to hurt you again. I'm a police officer, you can trust me." Anna held out her hand, surprised when the frail little girls arm reached out to grasp her tiny hand in hers. Anna lifted her light body in her arms. Emily was supposed to be three, this girl weighed and looked like a one year old. When she accidently hit a bruise, Emily let out a whimper. "Shhh."

"I'll call a bus," Janice said quietly. Anna held Emily against her.

"Shhh," she said again. "It's okay. You're going home…"

* * *

"You excited?" Derek asked as he met up with his wife in the scrub room.

"How could you tell," Mer smirked.

"Surgery doesn't start for another twenty," Derek told her.

"Shut up," she mumbled.

"Hey, you haven't had a solo since…"

"You can say it Der, I haven't had a solo since Emily died… which is why I am so excited," Mer smiled sadly. "This woman has a daughter around Emily's age, and if I can save her, she can be with her daughter and protect her which I can't do anymore."

"You're amazing, you know that," Derek whispered, kissing her head.

"You're the one who gave me the surgery," Mer said. "I-" She was interrupted by their pagers going off simultaneously. "Ugh, can you get mine. If I am not needed I don't want to have to scrub in again."

"They both say the same thing," Derek said. "Conference room, it's Officer White."

Mer's eyes widened and didn't even bother to throw away her paper towel before sprinting out of the scrub room towards the conference room. Officer Martin was there as well, and neither had even been able to get into the conference room before both Meredith and Derek approached them.

"Did they do it?" Meredith asked. "Did they find him?"

"No," Officer White shook his head. "Not him."

"Then who?" Derek questioned.

"Emily," Officer Martin said. Mer's face dropped.

"H-her body," Mer stuttered. "So we can give her a…"

"No Meredith," Officer Martin smiled. "Not her body. They found her. They found her _alive_."

Derek was in such shock that he wasn't able to catch Meredith as she fell to the ground.

"Emily is coming home."

* * *

**…. Cue a bunch of screaming for the moment that people have been waiting for (:**

**Told ya it was a happy ending!**

**I really doubt I even have to say this but Please R&R!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily Elizabeth Shepherd!**

**Sorry it's been longer than I wanted, junior year is getting pretty hard with SAT's and required PSSA's coming up and teachers deciding to give us a bunch of SAT vocab crap and finish all of the assignments we need to be finished before our PSSA's take over…**

**OMG, you all floored me with the response from last chapter! 52 reviews! I cannot begin to thank you all enough for that!**

**Enough talk… here is the REAL moment you have all been waiting for…**

* * *

Greta Michaels has always loved being a social worker. The child did not always accept what you had to do in the first place, but in the end she knew it was better for them in the long run and eventually they would realize that too.

Things were different with Emily Shepherd.

Because her parents were in Seattle, Greta had been called to be her voice and escort her back home. Not her usual circumstances and not her usual attitude.

Of the twenty years she has done this, the children she has been helping have never been quite like Emily. Since the case was transferred to New York, Greta had followed it. Presumed dead, there was a hunt for her kidnapper and killer; it turns out it was still only kidnapper. For almost 6 months Emily had been living with this man Jason Hartley and not where she belonged with her parents.

"Emily," she sighed, looking at the little girl on the gurney. "I will be right back, okay?" She only gave her a blank look and said nothing. Greta turned around to face her doctors. It was mandatory for her to be checked out at the hospital after she was found. It broke her heart as she looked into the deep emerald eyes, one probably full of life, now dull and confused.

"Miss Shepherd is cleared to go on the plane," the doctor informed her. "Her parents have asked that she be brought as soon as she can. She will be further cared for at the hospital they work at. Barring any emotional trauma, she is strong enough to go to Seattle without further treatment."

"Thank you," Greta nodded, signing the discharge papers and turning back to Emily. The flowered dress she had on was dirty, as if she had worn it for weeks. The day care place that once took care of her said that they had to be closed for two weeks and Emily did not return when it reopened. It was the last outfit they saw her in. The man she was forced to live with had such little respect for her that he would not even change her.

Emily was now curled up in a ball, bruises shown on her arms and legs. You could see her ribs through the dress despite the fact that it was two sizes too big. It was scenes like this that made Greta regret her job. The monster hadn't even fed her.

"Sweetheart," she called gently. "It's time to go home." Emily responded with another blank look as Greta scooped her in her arms and carried her out of the hospital. When they entered the airport, Emily stiffened and buried her face into Greta's shoulder. There was obvious trauma there, and Greta gulped at what might transpire when they were in the air. Surprisingly, Emily was very stoic, almost calm during takeoff, practically distant by the time they were in the air.

The young girl had yet to talk at all since being rescued, which could be problematic. Her parents, the minute they saw her, would want to grab her and hold her; but Greta was not even sure if she remembered them. This was the moment to find out.

"Honey," Greta smiled, reaching out to stroke her cropped, dirty, and greasy hair. "Do you think you could tell me your name?" Emily turned to her. "I won't hurt you."

"Rachel Marie Locke," Emily croaked and Greta's heart sank. That had been their cover. Greta opened her mouth to speak but Emily continued in a tiny voice. "Where is my daddy?" Greta smiled widely.

"You're gonna see your Mommy and Daddy real soon," Greta reassured, reaching for the little girls hand, marveling at the innocence that was lost in all of this.

"But I don't have a Mommy," Emily's head dropped and she went silent again.

"Damnit," Greta hissed under her breath as her suspicions of a severe brain washing were confirmed. Emily only knew of her 'daddy.' The man who beat her, abused her, and hated her. She wouldn't remember the loving man and woman who were anxiously awaiting her arrival after six months separation. After all, the whole world believed that Emily Elizabeth Shepherd was dead while Rachel Marie Locke was very much alive.

Greta Michaels was regretting this reunion now. A time that should have been celebrated, could mean even more trauma for this victimized family.

* * *

Meredith shakes uncontrollably, tears blurring her vision at the very thought of seeing her baby girl again. Her Emily, her little girl that she believed was murdered by this bastard had been living in disguise all along. Derek's arms slips around her, very much in shock of what has transpired in a mere two hours.

Two hours ago, they had been picking up the pieces of their lives and trying to put them back together; trying to live without the darling princess. Now, Meredith and Derek were sitting in an airport terminal, awaiting the moment they'd see their little girl very much alive.

"This feels like a dream," Mer whispered. "My Emi is alive."

"It's not a dream Meri, we've got her back," Derek kissed her head.

"It's a miracle," Izzie said from behind them. "Our own little miracle, meant for this family." Meredith turned around to face her family. Izzie, Alex, Mark, Lexie, George, Cristina, and Callie were sitting behind them, waiting for the same moment. Arizona, Bailey, Owen, and the Chief had to wait back at the hospital; no one wanting that many doctors out of the hospital at once.

"I just… can't believe it," Lexie whispered. "My little boy is going to get to meet his older cousin."

"As it should be," Mark nodded, his hand resting on Lexie's growing baby bump.

"Its fate," Callie spoke up. "It has to be… otherwise…"

"Of all people to call that plumbing service," George shook his head.

"We're getting her back Derek," Mer sobbed, turning towards him completely, wrapping her arms around him.

"It's going to be a long road, but we do," Derek whispered into her hair. "We have her forever." The group of doctors fell to a silent, simply in awe at the fact that kidnapped was no longer going to be a word in their vocabulary. Suddenly, Officer White and Martin approached. Seeing Meredith and Derek still caught in an embrace, talked to the rest of the family.

"Did they find him yet?" Alex questioned, his hand balling in a fist.

"Not yet, he somehow managed to escape the tunnel whether by car or foot, and no one was able to catch him after they ensured the custody and protection of Emily," Officer Martin explained.

"Give us the truth," Mark spoke up. "What is she… how is she… did he beat her or…" He can't seem to finish any of what he is trying to say, all of it too painful to say out loud, let alone know if it had been done to his goddaughter.

"You know as much as we do, her initial condition was frightening and shocking, but it may have been the fact that her eyes had swelled because she clawed the contact she was forced to wear out of her eyes, or maybe he had, whatever it is, has gone down; that is all we know, the primary concern has been getting her home," Officer White answered reassuringly. Himself even upset with the fact that this has happened to the girl he has been trying to rescue for all of these months.

"As it should be," George nodded.

"I-" Izzie began but her eyes traveled to the arrivals and departures as the flight from New York City suddenly said _Arrived_. Meredith and Derek had looked up and none of the family dared to move as their eyes went to the gate.

Would they even recognize her? She was three now, they had only know her as a two year old wishing she was three.

Was the abuse as bad as they imagined?

Would she recognize them?

Would she even remember them?

All thoughts disappeared from their head as the final two passengers walked towards them.

"EMILY!" Meredith sobbed.

* * *

Who was Emily?

That is all Rachel Locke can think as she sits in the plane with this strange woman. She only knows one Emily, and she lived in her dream world. She didn't exist.

The woman; however, continued to call her Emily, as if everything Rachel once wished for was actually coming true.

There was one problem with this idea. Emily had two parents, a blond woman and a dark-haired man, two people she forever had etched in her mind, two people she wanted as parents. Rachel only had her daddy.

When they got on the plane, Rachel was so used to being a good girl that she had not made a noise despite how scared she was, how many memories haunted her from being on planes; and she wasn't even sure why.

When they finally landed, she was relieved but very confused as to why she was taken from her home. New York was her home, but when she heard the words Seattle, Rachel remembered that that was where Emily lived.

The woman who has been with her took her hand gently and did not carry her this time.

"You're home Emily," she said and Rachel sighed. She had heard that before, or something like that...

_"The airport... we live in Nevada now," Jason said._

_"Why?" she asked._

_"Because... I already told you why brat!" he hissed and she fell silent. She watched as he pulled up in front of yet another hotel. He watched her crestfallen face with a smile. "We are gonna get a house... just not now..."_

The lady led her back in the airport, making Rachel shiver, she hated airports and she wasn't even sure why...

_Way to go you little shit," he exclaimed throwing the lollipop down the hall. She whimpered just before he slapped her in the face, hard. She started crying. "SHUT UP!" She couldn't stop crying so Jason had a firm grip on her shoulders and bent down to her eye level. "If you do anything to make anyone suspicious I will kill you and all of your old family. I am not kidding around... I have killed before..." She nodded fearfully._

_"Y-yes daddy," she whispered and allowed him to take her hand._

Rachel felt the lady squeeze her hand and suddenly let go. When she looked up at her, the lady smiled and nodded in front of her.

"EMILY!" someone sobbed. Rachel gasped, it was them, it was the woman and man from her dreams...

"_It's September 17th Emily… it's your birthday… happy birthday baby… Mommy and Daddy love you."_

Mommy and Daddy...

_MOMMY!" she squealed and ran towards her mother, jumping into her arms._

_"Hey princess," Meredith said kissing her cheek. "How was day care today?"_

_"It fun," Emily babbled. "We pway wit bwocks and me make you a piture!"_

She was there princess...

_"Me not like that," she said still pouting. "Me want to be fwee now."_

_"That's not something I like to see," a new voice said. Emily's eyes lit up._

_"DADDY!" she squealed and turned around to see Derek walking towards them. Emily held her arms out for him and as soon as he got close enough, wiggled out of Mark's grasp and hurled herself into his arms. Derek wrapped his arms around her little body as Emily started to examine Derek's pocket and name tag with her tiny fingers._

_"Hey princess," Derek said nodding hello to his friends. "How was day care today?"_

_"It fun," Emily babbled. "Me colored and cas and bwocks."_

She had a family that loved her...

_Mommy," Emily called. "You pway wit me now?" There was no answer and Emily pouted, holding Beary close. "Mommy! Mom-" Just then she heard her mother._

_"EMILY-" Her eyes lit up and she ran towards her mother's voice. She expected to see her mommy standing in the living room, but instead there was a strange man holding a gun. He was standing over her mother's limp form on the floor._

_"Emily," he called. Emily shrunk back behind the wall. She was scared._

_"It's okay. Emily, come out," he said with a creepy smile. He started to walk towards the play room so she ran and hid behind her toy box. Emily watched silently as the man came into the room and looked around. Dissatisfied with not finding her, he turned around and started to walk towards the kitchen. Now that he was out of sight Emily came out and went to her mother's body._

_"Mommy," she whimpered fearfully touching her mom's arm. "Mommy. Mommy wake up." Meredith didn't move. "Mommy..." Emily was about to cry out when she heard him again. She whimpered and ran towards the stairs and began climbing them._

_"There you are," he said with a smile while coming out of the kitchen._

_"MOMMY!" she cried and tried to climb faster._

_"Get back here kid," the man hissed and Emily started crying. Immediately she ran towards her room before he got to the top of the stairs. As quietly as she could while hugging Beary close to her, Emily opened up her closet door, climbed inside, and tucked her legs in._

_"Mommy," she whimpered and tried to stop crying knowing he could hear her. She heard him walking outside of her room._

_"Emily!" he screamed. "Emily get out here!" How did he know her name? Emily tried to push herself further back into her closet but she ended up knocking half her outfits off, creating a loud crash. Emily cried out, hugged Beary tight, and closed her eyes hoping that her Mommy would wake up..._

Her name wasn't Rachel Marie Locke, it was Emily Elizabeth Shepherd. Her daddy wasn't her real daddy. He took her from her big house in the woods, the one that overlooked the cliff.

"MOMMY! DADDY!" she cried and sped off towards them, as fast as her little legs could carry her. Suddenly her Mommy ran towards her too, tears streaming down both of their faces. When she was close enough, Emily leapt into her arms. "MOMMY!"

"Emily," Meredith sobbed. "Oh my Emi girl, you're home, you're home baby. I've got you."

"I love you Mommy!"

* * *

**I know you were all worried that Em wouldn't remember them, but I am guessing that the dreams helped! This story has come this far, but it is far from over as well. You all went through Em's journey, but Meredith, Derek, and her family didn't… so let's watch as they help her overcome this terrible trauma… **

**BUT… SHE'S BACK HOME! (insert even more happy screaming than last chapter!)**

**Please R&R!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaim****er: I only own Emily Elizabeth Shepherd! Nothing else!**

**Well, from the response of the last two chapters I take it you guys are finally happy with me again! It's gonna be a long road, but worth it in the end. This chapter is only the beginning…**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Derek's feet felt glued to the ground from shock as he watched the little girl he believed to be dead for five months, his little girl, hurdle towards them on unsteady legs screaming his name. _Daddy_.

Daddy, he was her daddy and she was back to him. He was in awe.

"MOMMY! DADDY!" she cried and sped off towards them, as fast as her little legs could carry her. Suddenly her Mommy ran towards her too, tears streaming down both of their faces. When she was close enough, Emily leapt into her arms. "MOMMY!"

"Emily," Meredith sobbed. "Oh my Emi girl, you're home, you're home baby. I've got you."

"I love you Mommy!"

"I love you too baby girl," Mer buried her head in Emily's hair.

That's when Derek noticed. His little girl did not look like his little girl. She was older, but didn't look it. She was thin to the bone, her eyes looked tired and bloodshot, and her hair was chopped sloppily and greasy. It broke his heart. He knew it was his Emily. She sounded like his Emily, but he didn't know this Emily. The last time he talked to her was when she was a two and a half year old Emily.

He watched her frail arms hug Meredith as tight as she could and Derek couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh Em," he chokes out and launches himself towards her.

"Daddy," she whimpered and turned to bury her head in his shirt. The minute her words hit his ears all air went out of his chest. Her touch immobilized him. He never wanted to move from this spot, never wanted to let go of her again. This felt like an impossible reality, he was afraid he would wake up and it would all be a dream.

Nothing about this seemed real. He wished these past seven months never happened, and at the moment, it didn't matter that they happened. At this moment, they were back together as a family.

"Oh Emi Emi Emi," Meredith cried. Emily looked up to face them both.

"Mommy, Daddy, why are you crying? Aren't you happy to see me?" she asked. Her words hit him like a truck as he suddenly realized how much he was crying. In an instant he saw not only the face of his heartbroken and scared daughter but his wife crying so much she could hardly stand; his family behind them, hugging each other and crying as well; the people around him, crying themselves, realizing who they were, taking video, pictures, and discussing this wonderful reunion. To Derek, nothing mattered but his wife and his daughter.

"Baby, Mommy and Daddy are just happy to see you, so so happy that it is making us cry," Derek was hardly able to explain.

"W-why wasn't I with you?" Em questioned.

"Because that mean man took you away," Mer said.

"Daddy," she whispered.

"Yes angel?" Derek questioned.

"No," Emily shook her head. "That man I was with, he made me call him daddy, he named me Rachel... but you are my daddy and I'm Emily."

"You never have to be anyone but Emily again," Meredith told her.

"Promise?" Emily said.

"I promise," Mer nodded.

"You're going to stay with us forever," Derek added, pulling her closer and resting his head against Meredith's. The look in her eyes showed even more emotion than her body was showing. While she was sobbing almost uncontrollably, her eyes showed the vast amount of happiness that matched his. It was overwhelming. Two hours ago they were talking about maybe having another child and now they had their child back in their arms.

"I never have to be with him again?" she whimpered.

"Never ever," Mer said forcefully. "You're ours Em. What he did was terrible. He took you away from us for so long. Months we can never ever get back. You turned a year older, you got bigger, and you got stronger. Mommy and Daddy thought we lost you forever."

"Forever?" Em cocked her head to the side.

"Yes…" Derek nodded. "This is where you belong."

"I forgot," Emily murmured.

"What sweetie," Mer croaked out.

"I forgot," she whimpered.

"Shhh Em, its okay," Derek calmed.

"I forgot," she sobbed. Suddenly, their tears were lost in the sudden ones from their daughter. It's when it hit them that it was real. This was happening. After six months of searching she was home and she was again the number one priority in their life actually here, not unknown.

No words could really comfort her, but Meredith rocked her back and forth while Derek kissed her forehead as she gently as he could, savoring every moment that they could finally comfort her again. When she was calmed down, she buried her face in Meredith's chest. Now that their sobs had stopped and no tears left Emily anymore, they heard the cries of their friends.

"Hey baby, there are other people who missed you just as much as us," Meredith told her. Emily looked up as Meredith walked over to everyone slowly. Her eyes shifted to them and their hearts broke as she recoiled in fear.

"Mama, who?" she whispered. Derek sighed and watched as his friends physically flinched at the fact she did not remember them.

"Baby, you don't remember," Meredith questioned.

"No," her lip quivered. They knew it would be a regular occurrence, but this was a moment they wanted to remember forever, they wanted to be ecstatic about her return, not only remember the tears.

"Its okay princess," Derek reassured. "You don't have to right now." They watched intently as the little girl they hadn't seen in such a long time took a close look at all of them, her three-year old brain attempting to push past the trauma and remember back to a time that felt distant to everyone.

"Family," she asked and everyone's eyes lit up.

"Yes baby, they are your family," Mer told her. Emily's tired eyes stared right at Mark and looked him in the eye.

_"I heard there's a birthday girl in here," Emily heard a voice boom through her house while she was in her play room. Her eyes immediately widened. _

_"UNCA MARK!" Emily squealed and as fast as her legs could carry her, Emily ran into the foyer. Then she spotted her Aunt as well. "Aunt Wex."_

_"There's my girl," Mark smiled as Emily launched herself into his arms._

_"Unca Mark... me 2 now," Em giggled holding up two fingers. _

_"Yes you're very big," Lexie laughed._

_"Me sooooo big," Em told them stretching her arms up._

_"So big that I can't do this?" Mark questioned. He dipped his arms and flipped her around once before placing her on his shoulder. Emily squealed in delight._

"Uncle Mark?" she guessed and the smile that spread across Mark's face was rewarding enough for everyone. It showed that maybe they would be alright. She looked at Lexie. "Aunt Lexie?"

"That's right Em," Mark choked out. "I'm Uncle Mark." She looked around and everyone else, her eyes wide with fear. She looked at Alex, Izzie, Cristina, Callie, and George.

"I-" she stuttered.

"It's okay Em," Izzie spoke up. "You don't have to remember us… I'm-"

"Aunt Izzie," she finished. "Uncle Alex, Aunt Cristina, Uncle George, and Aunt Callie."

"That's-"

"Where's Aunt Zona, Aunt Bailey, Uncle Owen, and Uncle Richard?" she asked her parents.

"They are waiting to see you later," Derek whispered.

"Can I see them now," her eyes sparkled with tears yet again.

"Yeah baby, you can see them now," Meredith said, suddenly remembering how light she felt in her arms, the amount of bruises visible on just her arms and legs, the fact that she was kidnapped and finally returned to them after 6 months. She needed to go to the hospital, where Arizona, Bailey, Owen, and the Chief were.

"Aunt Lexie," Emily turned toward her godmother, although she was probably no longer aware of this fact. "You…"

"You're going to have a baby cousin soon Em," Lexie explained, her hand landing on her swollen stomach.

"Baby," she gasped. "In there, how'd it get there?" Suddenly everyone burst out in laughter, she was still their Emily. Scarred, traumatized, older, bruised, and so many other things that they can hardly list; deep down, underneath everything, she will still the question asking, hyperactive little girl they all knew and loved. This question was the first step, the first sign, no matter how things looked now; they were going to be okay.

* * *

**The Shepherd's have a lot to deal with and I hesitate to mention there are more than five months unaccounted for where no one (except me of course/Emily) knows what really happened. Everything will be brought out in the open and this family will be tested… keep going… it will be worth the outcome!**

**Please R&R!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: 31 chapters… nope, still not happening! I only (semi) enjoy the show…**

**Thank you for the amazing response on the past few chapters, I guess it's because I made you all wait 29 ;) Well, now that she is home… this story will move faster but unfortunately not be entirely happy just yet. They are a family again but there are emotional issues to deal with.**

**This chapter picks up about an hour after the last… like I said; this story will move faster, just not this chapter…**

* * *

Derek looked in the backseat of the car where Meredith was sitting; Emily curled up on her lap.

"Mer," Derek said. "She asleep?"

"Yeah," Mer choked out. "Oh Der, it really happened. We got her back."

"I know Mer, I can't believe it," he whispered. "But-"

"Derek, she's so thin," Mer murmured. "She weighs less than she did when she was 1. Her beautiful hair it's…"

"Bastard cut it," Derek growled, too loud and Emily let out a whimper.

"I'm gonna kill him," Mer kissed Em's head gently. "I will." Derek watched as she moved her arm and allowed herself to look at the bruises that lined her baby girl's arms. "Oh god Derek."

"It's gonna be a long road Mer, but we'll get there," Derek reassured. "It may look so… so bleak right now but…"

"Derek, she seems so much like our Em but so grown up at the same time," Mer gulped.

"She's three, remember that," Derek said.

"I'll never remember that day," Mer's eyes squeezed shut and Em shifted uncomfortably in her arms when she realized she was squeezing her too. "It just doesn't seem fair; we've missed months of her life."

"But we have years to gain them back," Derek smiled. "It's what we never thought would happen, it was the unspoken words between our very existence. That it was all a mistake and Em was alive."

"It didn't feel right," Mer nodded. "I felt like I was missing a piece of me but it could be found… Derek, I never want to feel that again."

"You won't," Derek nodded, pulling into the hospital parking lot. They could already see their friends who had gone ahead of them to collect Arizona, Owen, Bailey, and the Chief waiting outside the ER doors.

"He hasn't been found yet," Mer reminded him.

"Don't think like that," Derek shook his head.

"Emi, Emi baby wake up," Mer told her daughter.

"Mommy," she whispered groggily and Mer smiled, she missed being called that.

"Let's-" Derek began but suddenly they were surrounded but camera, reporters and flashing lights.

"Mrs. Shepherd, is that really your daughter?"

"Mr. Shepherd, how does it feel to have her back?"

"Are you guys afraid that Jason Hartley has not been captured yet?"

"Mr. Shepherd, is it true that you are going to sue the Precinct for giving you false information?"

"What the hell," Derek hissed. "Get out of my face."

"Can we get a picture of Emily?" Derek whirled around to try and find the owner of that voice so he could punch him.

"MEREDITH!" they heard Izzie's voice cut through. Derek looked over at his wife who was shielding a now wailing Emily with her entire body.

"Move out of my way," Mer hissed.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOSPITAL PARKING LOT!" Richard voice boomed suddenly.

"You better or else!" Mark threatened as Lexie and Izzie latched onto Meredith's arm and began hauling her and Emily into the building.

"Mama, who were those people," Emily whispered.

"My God," Bailey gasped. "It's really her."

"I know," Mer smiled slightly and lifted Em on her shoulder. "Baby, they were people who were just really happy you were back."

"But I didn't know any of them," Em informed her.

"I know but…"

"Then why were they happy I was back?" Emily tilted her head.

"Yepp, it's definitely her," Owen smirked, twining his hand with Cristina's.

"Who'd you expect it to be," she snapped letting go of his hand quickly.

"I-" Owen began, stepping back. Tensions suddenly spread throughout them.

"Guys, not now," Arizona said, pushing her way to the front of the group who settled themselves around Em and Mer after getting them inside. "Mer… bring her in here, we've been waiting."

"Thanks Arizona," Mer smiled slightly but turned around. Her smile turned to a frown as she could not find Derek.

"Aunt Zona," Emily mumbled, snapping Mer out of her thought.

"Yeah Em," Arizona smiled. "It's me."

"Why hospital?" she questioned to no one in particular.

"Just need to make sure everything is okay," Mer told her, carrying her into the exam room. She settled her on the bed and Arizona attempted to close the door.

"No way," Lexie said, her stomach protruding into the space where she tried to shut it.

"We're going too," Izzie spoke up.

"No you're not," Arizona hissed.

"I am chief," Richard reminded her.

"And if I need your services or anyone else's I will call… the only person who will walk through this door uninvited will be Derek, understand?" Arizona said, realizing Derek was not there.

"We are her family and she's finally home," Izzie begged.

"And she doesn't need to be the center of attention," Arizona hissed, closing the door. "No one knows what happened to her, no one really wants to face what happened to her… but that girl may look like Emily, sound like Emily, even act like Emily, but she is not going to be the same Emily ever again. She is scarred, traumatized, and she doesn't need a crowd of doctors surrounding her as I undoubtedly find more and more bruises, dehydration, and god knows what else. I'm not asking you to leave, I am asking that you give us space and do not open this door."

"You heard her," Bailey said and Arizona nodded before turning back inside the room.

"Thanks," Mer sighed, hearing every word of it. Arizona only grabbed her hand and smiled.

"So Miss Em, where should we start?" Arizona questioned.

* * *

"Who do they think they are?" Derek exclaimed as Mark hauled him into the building. He started to follow where Izzie and Lexie led Mer but Mark stood in front of him. "Get out of my way!" He tried to shove past him but Alex and George, soon joined by Owen stood back up. "I need to get to my daughter."

"No, you need to calm down," Owen said.

"My daughter was kidnapped and taken away from me for 7 months, I need to see her!" Derek's voice boomed.

"Which is why you need to calm down before seeing her," Mark said, putting his arms up towards Derek.

"Think about it, with you screaming like that…" Alex began.

"You could remind her of Jason, or worse, the man they found in the basement of where she was living," George said. "You don't want that, do you?"

"Everything was fine, fucking perfect until those damn reporters," Derek growled. "Stepping into our personal lives like it is their right… I should not have to fight them off for her, they should leave us the hell alone. They should leave Em-" Derek broke off.

"I know man," Mark clapped a hand on her back. "It doesn't seem right. Those assholes exploiting what should be a time for celebrating and reunion."

"I just got her back and…" Derek whispered.

"You have her forever now Derek," George informed him. "Take this time to cool off, she isn't going anywhere."

"She's beautiful," Derek sighed. "When I held her in my arms for the first time in so long… I expected her to feel heavier, not lighter than what I remember. She's gotten taller than the last time I saw her, she's three and I never got to be with her on her birthday. I was supposed to be with her for all of her birthdays, be with her everyday…" Derek's eyes began to leak tears and he quickly wiped them away, even if it was hard because they were coming so quickly and superfluously. "Oh god, I have her back." Derek began mumbling under his breath as his words were lost in his tears. His friends caught words like, 'gonna pay' and 'protect' and 'bruises.'

Derek shrunk down on the wall he was leaning against and let his cries come out, he hated showing these emotions in front of his friends, but he had no choice.

"Derek, go to her, you need her as much as she needs you," Alex spoke up. Derek nodded and walked along the corridors to the place where several of his friends and other doctors were gathered. He entered without speaking a word to them and found quite a scene.

"NO MAMA!" Emily wailed curling against her mother's arm.

"Baby girl, Aunt Zona needs to give you something to make you stronger," Meredith whispered.

"No needle," she shook her head adamantly. Derek smiled, a lot of things have changed and will change, but she was still a little fighter.

"It will make you feel better, it's just a little stick and then it's over," Arizona attempted to calm her. None of them were sure if the needle triggered the outburst, or the hurt that was associated with the needle.

"Sweetheart, you need to listen to them," Derek interrupted.

"Daddy," Em whimpered. She looked up at him with the green eyes he longed to see in so long, they contained so much pain and trauma he wanted to look away. He suddenly saw she was just terrified, but also she looked even smaller than before. He sat down on the other side of her and took her in his arms. "Daddy, why are you crying?" Derek had an idea.

"Aunt Zona wasn't lying when she said it was just a prick," Derek murmured in her ear. "I got one too and it really hurt for just a second and it was over… but I am a big cry baby, strong, brave girl like you could handle it much better than me." Em nodded, thought it over for a second, and then reluctantly held her arm out to her Aunt. Arizona inserted the IV in a swift motion and Em didn't flinch.

"Daddy, you a big baby, that didn't hurt at all," Em huffed. "What's it doing?"

"It's giving your body more water," Meredith explained in the best way. "You didn't have enough."

"Oh," Em nodded.

"Okay Em, now I need to take off your dress okay," Arizona told her. Emily's lips quivered for a second but with one look at her father replaced it with a look of determination. Derek was in awe. God knows what she went through and she had a brave face on. They'd let her do this for now, but Meredith and Derek already had a plan. Arizona maneuvered the dress around the IV and Meredith immediately let go of Emily and turned to a bed pan that was underneath the table, letting the few contents of her stomach out. Derek grasped the table so hard that his knuckles were pure white.

Her little body once untouched and soft, were no longer that. Her arms and legs were littered with bruises varying in sizes and calluses galore. She was still perfect but it both terrified and angered them that Emily had to go through so much pain.

Emily continued to keep her brave face on as Meredith and Derek regained composure and sat by her, holding her. Arizona bit her lip as she felt healing fractures, tender spots, and everything she had been fearing of finding five months ago… except now it was one hundred times worse.

After a CT to rule out internal bleeding and an x-ray to insure every broken bone was healed properly, Emily's face had begun to lose its paleness and she became a lot more hydrated. 3 hours had passed since they arrived at the hospital, 4 since they got her back, and she was finally ready to go home.

Eagerly Emily hugged her family, allowing them the release of emotions once Meredith and Derek left. They pulled up to the ferry boat and Em's eyes widened in fear.

"NO!" she cried as the car traveled onto the boat.

"Em, what do you mean," Mer questioned from beside her.

"NO!" she sobbed.

"Emily baby, what's wrong," Mer pressed.

"Scared," Em whimpered.

"Of the ferry boat, but you love ferry boats," Mer said.

"Scary," she cried again. "Me no remember." Meredith bit her lip, so did Derek.

_Mommy, Feeboat?" Emily asked._

_"Yes we are going on the ferry boat Em," Meredith answered. _

"_YAY! YAY! YAY!" Emily squealed in delight._

It was one of her favorite parts about going to work with them, riding the ferry boat there and back. Derek or Meredith holding her near the railing so she could look out at the bay in wonder.

The car was already blocked in, the boat already moving; they were trapped with their now shaking daughter. Derek got out of the front seat and moved towards the back. Em, already in Mer's arms, now had Derek's wrapped around her tenderly, careful not to bump a bruise. The trio suddenly formed a bond, no one could break. They were a family again and no one could stop that.

Safe in her parent's arms, Em stopped shaking and took deep breaths to calm herself down. Mer whispered in her ear comforting words while Derek kissed her repeatedly.

Eventually they had to move because the ferry docked and they made their trek home. A day Meredith and Derek never wanted to end; one that started out so sour and ended so happy, was slowly coming to an end.

The second Em saw the house, they saw she remembered. Meredith didn't even get the chance to carry her in because her little legs sped off towards the front door. It felt so right to have her home again. Soon enough, their house would be filled with the pitter patter of feet and chatter of a little girl again, not sobs and mourning. It would be their house again.

The next few hours flew by. Em explored the downstairs in wonder, ignoring the play room and the living room rug. They ate a light dinner because, since she had been without food for so many days, took much could make her more sick. Meredith gave her a bath, one that took almost an hour from the dirt that caked her skin to her rediscovery of feeling clean again. Afterwards, the little family of three snuggled in the family room, again not wanting to let go. It wasn't until Em yawned that they moved.

That's when everything went wrong.

"Welcome back my angel," Mer whispered in her ear as Derek opened the bedroom door. Emily stood there in shock and awe. "Go-" That when she let out a piercing screech followed by loud sobs. In alarm, Meredith scooped her up.

"Emily, what's wrong sweetheart?"

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" she squealed repeatedly. "NO!"

"No what?" Mer asked, taking a step into the room. This led her to become hysterical. Meredith, realizing it t was her room that was causing this stepped out immediately. As swiftly as he could, Derek grabbed a pair of pajamas and shut the door behind him. Emily, by now, buried her head into Meredith's shoulder, gripping on to her for dear life.

"It's okay, you don't have to go in there," Derek said, he ran his hand through her slightly wet hair. "Shhh… it's okay. You're okay."

"MOMMY! DADDY!" she cried. They looked at each other and sighed, this was the price of having her back, a price that was priceless and they were do it no matter what, but a difficult one. One that would cause much pain.

Somehow they managed to maneuver the pajamas on her, two sizes to large but it would have to make do for the night. Slowly they went into their room, Em's cries still shaking the house. Derek turned down their bed and laid her down in the middle, in between where they lay a second after. Together they took turns rubbing circles on her back and kissing her still smooth skin on her cheek, doing whatever they could to calm her. She was getting exhausted fast but Meredith suddenly remembered Beary who had since made a home on her dresser.

This only made things more difficult for them to bear. The blank look in her face when she showed her the bear only confirmed that it was a miracle Emily had remembered their names, let alone their house and her family. Trauma haunted places in the house, things she probably didn't even understand. She remembered almost nothing, the reason she had wandering eyes all evening.

Eventually her tiredness of a terribly long day and sobbing for so long wore Emily out and allowed her to fall asleep fitfully.

Meredith and Derek lay awake, in silence, simply staring at each other yet holding a conversation that could last a lifetime.

Tomorrow would be a new day; everything they feared would soon become a reality. Yet, the reality of the situation would probably soon hit them as well. Despite the fact they had their daughter back, things looked grim. Chief gave them a month off, in hopes that they could start building a bridge to recovery for Em and reintroduction into life how it once was for all of them.

In spite of all of this, there was one glimmer of hope.

Meredith and Derek eventually fell asleep, but when Derek had woken up around 2 in the morning. He suddenly realized it was not all a dream and Emily was really in between him, wrapped in his wife's arms. But not only that, but in her sleep, Emily had grasped Beary in her arms, and pulled him close to her chest.

He would hold onto this one little moment for the minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months to come.

* * *

**Like I said, a long way to go… Em can't sleep in her room, she doesn't remember Beary, and she doesn't remember ferry boats, etc. Do not worry, I will not take all of this trauma lightly as you will see next chapter…**

**Please R&R! It makes me update faster. (Sorry for the delay with this one, I had to study for the SAT's, and has the PSSA's all this week too! And next week. And the week after that :/)**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily, nothing else!**

**This chapter picks almost right up from where it ended… here is the beginning of healing for Emily and Meredith and Derek… I will continue to say that it will be a long road and the angst will not stop, but it's not angst as it once was. It is healing angst so stick with me, at the end, the healing angst will be miniscule, always there, never forgotten, but less…**

**Anyway, let's get on with it… here's the next chapter… ENJOY (:**

* * *

"Mama! Don't let him get me!" Emily's screech interrupted Derek and Meredith's somewhat peaceful sleep. Since Emily had come home 4 days ago, every day had been similar to this. Just as they would begin to fall asleep Em would have a nightmare and wait them up. Usually it took about an hour to get her back to sleep and the cycle would repeat itself. Today had been a bit of reprieve. This was only the third nightmare of the night at it was already six am.

"Em baby," Mer sighed, stroking her soaking wet hair. Her little girl was trembling, sweating, and whimpering.

"Daddy, help me!" she cried. "No… you're not my daddy!"

"Baby girl, you need to wake up, daddy is here," Derek said, rubbing her back as gently as he could in hopes to make her wake up. He had to be gentle; they learned from the first night, the night they had gotten no sleep at all, that if they woke her up quickly and shook her at all, it only pushed her deeper into her nightmare and the cries when she got up would escalate into hysterics.

"Please Emily, wake up sweetheart, it's just a nightmare," Meredith begged. They watched as her entire body jerked and her eyes flew open. It shocked them, that a three year old would have such a terrible nightmare. Months ago, before everything happened; she used to have nightmares about ghosts and monsters under her bed and in her closets. Those were nothing in comparison, god knows what she dreamed about now. She wouldn't tell them.

"Mommy, Daddy," Emily sobbed as she grasped Meredith's shirt and she buried her face deep into her chest. Derek continued to rub her back.

"Shhh, it's okay," he whispered. "We got you; Mommy and Daddy got you." They wondered, if Jason was captured maybe these terrible dreams would stop haunting their baby girl, but they also knew that the trauma was already there. It didn't matter if the bastard was dead or alive… he hurt their baby girl.

"You had me before," she cried. "But he still got me."

"Is that what happened honey, in your nightmare?" Meredith asked, pulling her closer and letting her head rest on her lap.

"Mommy," Emily whimpered, not responding. Meredith and Derek looked at each other, a sigh of resignation passing between them.

"Do you want to go back to sleep sweetheart?" Derek asked. Em shook her head and looked into Derek's eyes. The terror that sparkled through her green eyes angered Derek so much, anyone who caused his daughter this much pain.

"Come on," Meredith lifted her up. "Let's get you cleaned up." Emily rested her head on Meredith's shoulder as she walked towards the bathroom and began filling the tub with water. She didn't care that it was five in the morning; she was doing this for her daughter, maybe if she could develop some normalcy in her life things would start to look up.

She lifted Emily's sweaty pajama gown off of her and handed them to Derek. With hesitation, she placed her in the bath. Em used to love bath time, something most parents couldn't really say that, but now she just sat there, staring blankly into space.

Meredith ran a wash cloth up and down her arms as Derek came in and placed a cup of coffee on the sink. They both stared at her, in awe.

The bruises that had been old on her body were now gone, the new ones, beginning to fade. Other than the fact that Em was now three and her hair was not the same, she was started to look like their old Emily. Only look however; not act. She may never act like their Emily again and that broke their heart.

"Hey Em," Derek smiled. "Look what I have." He held up a rubber duck and squeaked it. Emily looked at him blankly. "Don't you remember baby?"

"Ducky?" she questioned.

"That's right," Derek said, squeezing it again. This time, Emily smiled.

"What is it doing Em?" Mer asked,

"Quacking," Emily guessed with a giggle.

"Wanna try?" Derek asked. Emily nodded as Meredith rinsed the shampoo from her hair. Derek handed it to her gently.

"Quack," she narrated. "Quack! Quack!" She began squeezing the duck while giggling. "Funny!"

"Yes it is baby, it's funny," Mer said. She tickled her stomach. "Quack…"

"Mommy," she squealed.

"Quack quack," Meredith said, squeezing the duck. Soon Derek joined in and they suddenly were able to enjoy a moment where all three of them were laughing carelessly, all over a duck. Just like old times.

As quickly as this moment began, it ended. The water started to get cold and triggered something, and the sobs of Emily replaced the laughter they had all shared. It was something Meredith and Derek were coming to realize, the moments, as amazing as they were, were brief, but they'd enjoy them while they could because they didn't come often.

* * *

Emily latched onto Meredith's hand hesitantly as she lifted her out of her car seat. The new car seat they had just bought because her old one had been too small. Placing on the ground, Meredith and Derek watched as she looked up at the sign on the building in awe, even though she couldn't read.

_Chance, Daniels, and Roberts Child Psychiatry Practice_

The Seattle PD had recommended Dr. Chance for Emily the day after she was returned when they had to make an official complaint. Officer Martin had said he worked wonders with children who had been traumatized and that the police department often used him. That was enough for Meredith and Derek to make an appointment with him, Dr. Chance, hearing who she was, chose the soonest possible date.

"Mommy, where we?" Em questioned.

"We're going to talk to a special person, that sound fun?" Mer asked, hopeful. Emily tilted her head, confused.

"To make you feel better peanut," Derek explained. Emily took a step back.

"Its okay princess," Meredith sighed, bending down to pick her up. Together they walked towards the elevator. Confined spaces made Em nervous so she buried her face into Mer's shoulder until the elevator dinged and the doors opened. The entire family took in the office. There were bean bag chairs, comfy chairs, a desk, and toys galore scattered all over the place. The walls were painted a mixture of rainbow colors and there were three corridors that were labeled Dr. Chance, Dr. Daniels, and Dr. Roberts.

Meredith sat down with Emily, placing her in a beanbag chair, while Derek signed them in. There were two other families in there; and when Derek rejoined them they all shared a look like, 'you're in here too.'

"Do you wanna play with the blocks Emily?" Meredith questioned her as Em's eyes stared at the blocks that sat on the table in front of her. Em shook her head no but continued to stare at them, almost in wonder.

"Mama, can we go home?" Emily asked.

"No sweetheart, not just yet," Meredith answered.

"Emily Shepherd," the woman at the front desk said. "Dr. Chance is waiting." Meredith and Derek nodded, standing up.

"Come on baby," Derek said, motioning her to follow, but Emily shook her head.

"No," she buried her face in her hands.

"Here," Mer said, picking her up.

"NO!" Emily screeched and began to toss and turn in her mother's arms. "NO!"

"It seems we have a problem out here," a woman spoke up, walker out of the corridor labeled Dr. Chance. "Dr. Amelia Chance… you must be the Shepherd's."

"Hi," Derek nodded.

"And this must be Emily," Dr. Chance smiled. Emily peeked over towards the woman but hid back into Mer's arms a second later. "Hm… Miss Emily is nervous isn't she?" Emily didn't acknowledge her.

"I'm sorry," Mer murmured. "She… she doesn't like strangers, never did. But now…"

"It's understandable Mrs. Shepherd-"

"Please call me Meredith," Mer spoke up. "And Derek."

"Meredith, Derek," Dr. Chance nodded as Emily was successful in getting out of Mer's arms and sat back down. "I've heard about everything, I saw her medical report from after she was returned to her. There is no doubt in my mind that there is a lot of trauma buried deep under, and it will be hard to get it out, but we need to try."

"She's been having nightmares, and refuses to tell us," Derek explained.

"Maybe in a few weeks I will address that, but right now I just want to get to know her, her get to know me… establish a connection so she will feel open to talk," Dr. Chance said.

"She used to love to draw," Meredith whispered. "And play make believe."

"Great," Dr. Chance smiled, turning away from them and bending down beside Emily. "So… you don't like strangers, huh?" Emily turned further away. "Me either…"

"You don't?" Emily murmured. All three adults smiled.

"No, they scare me too," Dr. Chance said. "So, let's not make ourselves strangers." Emily looked up as she held out her hand. "I'm Dr. Chance, what's your name?"

"Emily Shepherd," Emily said, holding her hand out to shake hers.

"Do you want to know something," she whispered. Emily looked at her. "Do you?"

"Yeah," Emily smiled. Dr. Chance bent down closer to her ear, but Meredith and Derek could still hear.

"There is another room that has cooler toys than in here, and there is paper and crayons and…" Em's eyes widened.

"Can I go!" she straightened up excitedly. "Please?"

"Since you asked so nicely I think that would be great," Dr. Chance smiled. "Do you want to follow me?" She held out her hand again. With a look back at her parents Emily took it gently and followed the doctor down her corridor.

"Mom, Dad, you can stand right there," she let them know. "It's best if the parents monitor… you know her better than I do." There was a two way mirror from the look of it, one that Emily couldn't see.

"Mama, Daddy," Em said to them as she looked in the room. "You coming?"

"Emily, this place is special," Dr. Chance explained. "It's a place that's only for you."

"Really?" her eyes widened. Meredith and Derek nodded and her, putting a brave smile on as she skipped in the room. The room had similar walls to the waiting room. In the center there was a table set up that had two chairs. There were bean bag chairs, dolls, a doll house, trains, cars, blocks, stuffed animals, musical instruments, and a large bin of everything from markers, to colored pencils, to crayons, to other arts and crafts. On the side of the table where Dr. Chance sat down, there was a pad and pencil, but also a jar of candy. Emily was offered one but declined claiming, as she grabbed a piece of paper and crayons that she didn't like to get food on her artwork.

"She's in heaven Der," Mer said, amused, as she began to draw already, her tongue sticking out as she concentrated.

"That's my Emi girl," Derek nodded. "She warmed up to her fast…"

"Because she's your Emi girl," Mer smiled, leaning against the window, watching her daughter fondly.

"What are you going to draw Emily?" Dr. Chance asked her.

"What do you want me to draw?" Emily asked. "I take requests." Dr. Chance laughed.

"Why don't you draw your family?" she suggested with a smile and watched carefully as she drew three people. One woman with blond hair, one man with curly dark hair, and a girl who had short dark hair. They were standing by a cliff with a big house in the background. "So… who are these people?"

"This is me," she pointed to the smallest figure. "And that's Mommy and Daddy."

"Is this your house?" she asked.

"Yeah," Em nodded enthusiastically. "We have a big big house in the woods!"

"Wow, it must be really pretty," Dr. Chance said.

"It is," Emily emphasized. "Can I draw the rest of my family?"

"How many are there?" Dr. Chance asked.

"Well my Aunt Lexie and Uncle Mark, and my Aunt Izzie and Uncle Alex, and my Aunt Callie and Aunt Zona, and my Aunt Cristina and my Uncle Owen, and my Uncle George, and my Aunt Bailey, and my Uncle Richard… oh, and the baby in Aunt Lexie's tummy!" Emily giggled. Meredith and Derek gulped from behind the glass, there was no mention of his family, and she hadn't seen them since the last Christmas in New York.

"That sounds like too many people that they wouldn't fit on the paper, don't you think?" Dr. Chance said.

"Um… yeah," Emily sighed. "Then what?"

"How about you draw someone you used to know," Dr. Chance said, seeing what she would do. A shadow crossed Emily's face and she grabbed a yellow, purple, blue, and black crayon. Slowly and carefully she began to draw a blond girl with blue eyes that had purple where her skin was supposed to be. When she was finished drawing the girl, she surrounded her with blackness. Dr. Chance looked at it, concerned. Her other picture had the girl smiling, this one had her frowning.

"Emily, who is this?" she asked softly.

"Rachel," Emily murmured.

"What's on her arms and legs?" she asked.

"Bruises," Emily said.

"What is the blackness?" Dr. Chance continued to ask.

"A dark room," Em whispered.

"Who is Rachel Emily?" Dr. Chance finally asked.

"No," Emily began to shake her head.

"No what?" Dr. Chance said.

"NO!" she began to sob and shake. "No! No! No! RACHEL!"

"Emily honey, calm down," Dr. Chance told her.

"MOMMY! DADDY!" Emily sobbed. "MOMMY! DADDY!"

"They are right outside, they are still here," she reassured.

"WANT THEM!" she cried. "MOMMY! DADDY!" The door burst open and both Mer and Der flew inside.

"Emily sweeties, its okay, Mama's here," Meredith said, folding Em's shaking body into an embrace. "I'm here, you're okay, and I'm here."

"Mama," she sobbed into her hair as Mer lifted her onto her hip.

"Dr. Chance, I am sorry but this session needs to be cut short," Derek said. "We'll come back next week, but, it's too soon."

"You can't let her dwell on it for too long," Dr. Chance whispered. "She needs to open up. There's a lot of trauma, more than any of us can imagine."

"We need more time," Derek murmured, kissing Emily's forehead, placing his hand on Meredith's back and walking towards the door. "We need more time."

* * *

Emily wanted to sleep, she was tired, but when she slept he was there.

She felt safe in between her parents in their bed, with the bear her parents said she named Beary tucked under her arm; but when she slept she was in a whole other world, one that she didn't feel safe in.

Unfortunately, Emily was exhausted, and she had no choice but to succumb to sleep.

"_What did I tell you?" he hissed. "I told you if you told anyone about what I am doing or what I did I would kill you and your whole family!"_

"_I didn't say anything!" Emily wailed. "I pwomise!"_

"_I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" he exclaimed, hitting her with an extreme amount of force that sent her flying over a cliff, one she didn't even see before he hit her. That was when she saw the woods, and the top of her house floating away from her._

"_NO!" she screamed. Suddenly, her parents flew passed her, faster than her. Plummeting to their death. Then came Aunt Lexie, then Uncle Mark, then everyone else, even Aunt Lexie's baby who wasn't even there left. They were all going to die because of her. Suddenly he appeared at the top of the cliff._

"_Hope, Amber, Erin, Rachel are dead," he laughed menacingly. "And now Emily is too!"_

"AHHHHHH! HELP ME! NO! PLEASE NO!" Emily sobbed as her eyes flew open. Her parents were hovering over her, concerned. Their eyes filling with tears as hers did as well.

"Mama, Daddy," she shook her head in fear, and allowed them to hold her tightly, burying her face into their arms as they wrapped their arms around each other too.

She was in the middle, folded safely in their arms. She was with her Mommy, and her real Daddy; but in the back of her mind, she wondered what her other daddy was doing and if he could get to her again.

It terrified her completely…

* * *

**Therapy is the first step to healing I guess, and Em at least talked to Dr. Chance, that's a start right. However, the nightmares shall be a problem for a little while longer… hope you liked this chapter; chapters will continue to be this format for a little while (approx. 4 chapters) but that is nothing compared to how long it took me to get here, I am almost done If Only I Knew so the sooner that is done the less you will have to bear with my 'angstiness' :)**

**Please R&R! Thank you! The response is continually making me so happy and so excited (:**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily, nothing else!**

**I do not want to dwell on the angst of the aftermath of Em's first experience with Dr. Chance and also the fact that all they would be doing with her is reintroducing her to everything; so the next chapter and several after that will be Em's morning and then visits with Dr. Chance and her therapy. Yes, it is still angsty like I said, but this angst is the type of angst that leads to not angst. This is very hard for me to write because I want Em to be happy and live a better life but at the same time keep in realistic.**

**Okay, sorry for the rant! Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you can!**

* * *

"So what do you want for breakfast Em?" Derek questioned.

"I dunno," she shrugged as Mer placed her in her booster seat. Her highchair no longer fit her now usual sized body and they had to go and get a booster seat. Besides, as Em became more comfortable to her old life, she grew her independence again. With that came constantly declaring that she was not a little girl and needed big girl stuff. Whenever she went in her room again, Meredith and Derek could imagine what she would say about it. Most likely it would mean redoing her room, what they had to do just three months before she had been kidnapped; this time they would welcome this change with open arms.

"Pancakes?" Mer smiled. "I'm sure daddy will make your favorite."

"Mommy," Em whispered.

"Yes baby," Mer said.

"What's my favorite?" she stared at her blankly.

"Blueberry sweetie, you like blueberry pancakes," Mer told her, running her hands through her short hair. They finally made it to the hairdressers without people recognizing them and got her hair to one length. It had even begun to curl like it used to. Outside Emily was coming back.

"I think I member," Em nodded. "May I have some pwease?" Derek smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Coming right up my lady," he teased and Emily giggled. Meredith contently placed a glass of apple juice in front of her daughter and sat down at the table, grabbing her own cup of coffee. A smile played on her lips. Right now, it felt like nothing ever happened.

"How many pancakes Em?" Derek asked. "10? 20? 100?"

"Daddy silly," Emily told her mother.

"Really?" Derek questioned. "So you don't want 100 pancakes?"

"Three daddy," Emily giggled.

"Of course," Derek nodded while Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You're a silly man Derek Shepherd," she told him.

"It worked didn't it," he smiled and nodded towards his daughter who was still giggling and sipping her apple juice happily. Meredith suddenly realized that she was drinking the apple juice. She had given it to her on instinct and forgot that the other day the question about her favorite pancakes had been the same as the question of what her favorite drink was. Meredith had given her apple juice and Emily didn't drink it at all.

"I love you," Meredith smirked and kissed him.

"I'm very lovable," Derek teased and suddenly smoke hit his nose.

"DADDY!" Emily shrieked. Derek spun around to find a cloud of black smoke surrounding the griddle where the pancakes were.

"Crap," he hissed and immediately grabbed the spatula and filled off the three now burnt pancakes off the griddle.

"Pancakes," Emily whimpered.

"Don't worry Em, your daddy can make you more," Mer reassured.

"Smell," she cried. Meredith closed her eyes. How else had that man tortured her that she was terrified of the smell of smoke? Suddenly she remembered the burn scars they had found on her little body and Meredith fought the urge to slam her full coffee mug against the wall.

"It's okay honey," Mer murmured. "Daddy just burnt the pancakes, he'll make you more." She lifted Em out of her booster seat and sat her on her lap. "Do you want to stay here now?" Emily nodded against her chest.

"Still want three Em?" Derek said quietly as he scraped the burnt remnants off the griddle. The stoic expression he had on his face indicated to Meredith that he realized what set of this minor setback.

"Two," she whispered.

"Do you want some more apple juice Emi, you finished yours?" Mer asked.

"No," Em said. Meredith pressed a kissed to her head and thanked god that this had not been a bad one.

"No burnt ones this time," Derek said, placing the plate in front of Meredith. "Better sweetheart?"

"Mhm hmm," Em nodded. "Mama can I sit in my booster seat?"

"Of course you can baby girl," Meredith said, picking her up and putting her in it gently, then proceeding to butter and cut up her two pancakes. Like everything that seemed to remind Emily of the seven months she was gone, her mood didn't return for the duration of breakfast; so the Shepherd family spent it in silence.

* * *

"She seems better today," Dr. Chance nodded as she observed Meredith 'breaking' the rules of the room with Em and allowed her to show her all the crayons that she got to use.

"We had a good morning until I burnt the pancakes," Derek muttered.

"Mr. Shepherd-" Dr. Chance began.

"Please, call me Derek," he insisted.

"Derek, there will be triggers; and sometimes they come from your mistakes; but you shouldn't blame yourself," Dr. Chance said.

"I try telling him that, he won't listen," Mer shook her head, kissing Derek's cheek. "She's ready for you."

"Do you know what trauma caused it today, did she tell you?" Dr. Chance questioned.

"She didn't tell us, but we figure that it is from the circular burn scars they found on her," Meredith whispered.

"Yes, I remember reading that in her chart; that could do it," she nodded. "Is there anything else you want me to discuss with her today?"

"We want her to talk to us," Derek said.

"Is she having trouble communicating?" Dr. Chance said, worriedly.

"No, she talks to us about things she doesn't remember, she talks to us about things a normal three year old should talk to us about… but not what…"

"It's only been two weeks, we know for a fact that he brainwashed her, and that it was a miracle that she remembered you… these things take time," she told them. "What have you done this week?"

"She knows the house again; everything but the playroom, her room, and the living room rug," Meredith told her.

"And are those three places significant?" she questioned.

"I was attacked on the living room rug while she was in the playroom; her room was where he got her," Meredith explained.

"Anything else?" she asked.

"We took her to the park where our friends met us, we had a nice day and she talked to each of them at least once," Derek explained.

"Good, good… you guys are doing exactly what you should—you are better than most of the parents who come in here. You should be proud of yourselves," Dr. Chance congratulated.

"I wish we could feel like that," Derek muttered.

"That will come in time too," Dr. Chance smiled, nodded towards the window, and walked into the door. Meredith and Derek assumed their positions at the window in each other's arms. "Hi Emily, remember me?"

"Dr. Chance!" Emily smiled. "You never tolded me you had a doll house!"

"I do, with lots more dolls than that," Dr. Chance said. "I'll show you them later, but I think I want some more of your wonderful artwork. You are a very talented little girl."

"Otay," Emily said and ran over to the same table as before. "What should I draw?"

"Your Mom and Dad said that you went to the park the other day with your family…" Emily's eyes lit up and immediately went over to the crayons to begin drawing.

"Can I draw all of them this time," she questioned.

"How about just a few of them," Dr. Chance suggested and Emily nodded and began working. Dr. Chance watched as she drew four large circles and one smaller. Three of them were women and one of them was a man. One of them women had something floating near her stomach. The other two were close together, one a blond, another with dark hair. The man was close to the woman with something near her stomach. The smaller circle was simply drawn as a stick figure, the hair only a line on the head. Everyone else had detail, except the small one.

"Can you explain this picture?" Dr. Chance asked her.

"This is my Aunt Arizona and Aunt Callie, they together," Emily explained. "And this is my Aunt Lexie and Uncle Mark."

"What is this floating next to your Aunt Lexie?" Dr. Chance said.

"It's the baby in her tummy, she gonna have a baby," Emily said.

"Emily, who is this?" Dr. Chance pointed to the small circle. "This person doesn't have a face, and doesn't have anything like the rest of them."

"That me," Em said darkly.

"Why don't you have hair, or a smile like the rest of them?" she questioned. Emily didn't answer. "Is that how you feel?"

"I don't have hair," Emily told her. "My hair short."

"Yeah, but it's still very pretty, not like in this picture," Dr. Chance pressed. "Who made you feel like this Emily? Is it Rachel who makes you feel like this?"

"Rachel did nothing wrong… and neither did Hope, Amber, or Erin," Emily closed her eyes.

"Then who sweetheart?" Dr. Chance said. Emily grabbed another piece of paper with her now trembling hand. She watched in silence as Emily drew two men, both of them very large, ugly, and for a three year olds drawing scary to even her. "What are their names Emily?

"Howard and my other daddy," Emily murmured pointing to the largest man and the smaller man respectively.

"Your other daddy, the man who took you away from your real Mommy and Daddy?" Dr. Chance commented. Emily turned away with a whimper. "I'm sorry… can you tell me about Howard?" Emily got up with a haunted look on her face before retreating to the doll house. She began to play with a Barbie and Ken doll. Dr. Chance sat down next to her and watched her closely.

"Howard was meaner than my other daddy," Emily said darkly. "He broked my arm not by accident like my other daddy did before. He didn't hit me in places where other people couldn't see so I couldn't go outside. He- My other daddy never- I-"

"Emily," Dr. Chance put her hand gently on her arm and said softly. "Can you show me with Barbie and Ken exactly what Howard did to you?" Her lips trembling, Emily shoved the two dolls together and closed her eyes. When she opened them again she was crying.

"He punished me for running away from him… I ran away lots."

"FUCK!" Derek growled as he began to shake his hand out, surprisingly a few cracks in the brick wall that was parallel from the wall with the two-way window. Meredith buried her hands in her face before turning to her husband.

"We knew Derek that bad things happened to our baby girl, but doing this is not going to help her at all," she hissed at him.

"That bastard touched my daughter," Derek growled. "He touched her… he—oh god!"

"Derek stop it, what is this helping," Meredith said. "I'm upset and angry too but-"

"If Jason hadn't already killed him I'd do it myself!" Derek exclaimed, wincing as he touched his hand. "A gunshot in the head is not enough for him!"

"Derek, wanting vengeance is not going to help our daughter's trauma for what he did in any way," Meredith snapped. "And hurting yourself is not either! Now we have to go to the hospital and worry about YOU, not Emily!"

"Shit," Derek growled and leaned against the wall. "I-"

"Are you okay?" Dr. Chance asked. "That was a lot to take in at once but this was a very good session… what happened?" She looked at Derek's hand.

"He punched a wall," Meredith told her.

"I expected it… that's why there is no drywall there," Dr. Chance told them. "Things are hard, that's what therapy brings about… especially with cases such as these."

"This is normal," Derek spat out.

"Emily is not the only one who has to go through therapy, this is some of it—but you guys may want to see one too," Dr. Chance said softly. "I imagine you did not see what Emily did after she told me, clearly because you punched the wall… but she hugged me, for no reason, she hugged me. This is hard for her to get out, for her to remember, and she's only three years old; which in turn makes it harder for you two. And its undoubtedly challenged with the fact that the man who left her in the care of the man who did that to who and the man who took her away from you is still out there, somewhere, not caught… but I feel like your family is one of the strongest that has ever walked through my doors. You have such a support system just around you and she hasn't even mentioned her other side of the family." Meredith nodded before looking at Derek's swelling hand.

"I feel as though it might take more than two weeks to finally make it through the hour session, Emily is waiting for you… I suggest taking him to the hospital; I am not doctor but that looks like it might need a cast," Dr. Chance said.

"More time with Em I guess," Derek shrugged as Meredith went to get Emily. "Thank you Dr. Chance."

"I'm just doing my job… see you next week," Dr. Chance said before retreating into her office. Emily was crying when Meredith came out with her, and got scared when she saw Derek's hand. They calmed her down enough by the time they got to the hospital that when Callie got to the ER, Emily comfortably sat with Izzie who offered to sit with her.

"So Em, are you hungry?" Izzie asked.

"No," Emily said quietly.

"Do you want to draw or-"

"No," she shook her head.

"Then…" Izzie broke off as Emily whimpered. "Em honey, what is wrong?"

"My daddy got hurt," she whispered.

"I know, do you know why?" Izzie asked her, pulling her onto her lap. It felt right to have her niece there again, she missed it so much and this was only the second time she got to spend time with her since she got back home. Izzie wanted to cherish this moment.

"Daddy got angry cause he knows," Emi cried.

"Knows what?"

"What Howard and my other daddy did to me," she buried her face in her shirt. "He knows and he's angry."

"He's not angry at you, you know that right?" Izzie reminded her. "He's mad at them."

"I am sweetie," Derek said, coming out of a room with a fresh cast now on his right hand. "You know that Aunt Izzie is telling you the truth, right?"

"I know," Emily said, hopping off Izzie's lap and going to Derek's feet. He picked her up. "I love you daddy."

"I love you too princess, so much," Derek murmured, kissing her head. He tried to put out what she said from his mind. Unfortunately it was impossible and he knew he'd never forget it, and Emily wouldn't either. But he also knew that Dr. Chance was right; he and Meredith need a therapist too. The cast was reason enough and they'd do that at a time when Emily is finally stable. Maybe when she goes in her room. The rest of the day the family went home. Emily began to draw on Derek's cast and talked to them about the fact that the next time she had pancakes, she wants to try syrup. When Emily was younger, she refused to have syrup and said it was yucky. It was just another indication that maybe things would be okay, despite today's revelations.

And in spite of that, the second they walked past her bedroom door to go to bed, she cringed… but this time bad a little noise in her throat that caused Meredith to question, "What is it honey?"

"Why do doors lock?" she whispered.

"What?" Derek asked. She pointed to the handle on their doorway.

"Why do doors lock?" she asked again. "And why do our doors lock backwards?"

"Honey, we are confused," Meredith told her. Emily wiggled out of her mother's arms and touched the inside lock of their bedroom door.

"Doors are supposed to lock on the outside, right?" she tilted her head innocently. Derek and Meredith looked towards each other in a new realization. Besides the fact that her bedroom was where Jason had got her, there was another trauma associated with it.

She didn't want to be locked in there.

* * *

**Put your pitch forks away, I beg of you! I feel like I am a very evil person for even just writing this but… I implied it before and I felt that I could not make things realistic if I do not deal with it now so for the sake of the story I included that. I promise I won't flashback and make it even more traumatic for Em and you all loyal readers! This kind of experience will bring the Shepherd's together more than they think possible and I hope it turns out as good as I hope!**

**It was also not be as repetitive as you think it will, it moves the story faster, forward, and you will feel the impact when there are less chapters with Dr. Chance in it ;) The more Dr. Chance, the less angst that will follow!**

**Please keep reading and please keep reviewing! Thank you!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily Shepherd and Jason Hartley (who will finally be mentioned in this chapter in more depth…)**

**This chapter is more of a family chapter/filler and breaks away from the routine in which they have been living. Derek is now going to be able to stay with his daughter when Mer goes back to work and they will begin discussing stuff as a family. And more than just their Seattle family ;)**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

"So Em," Mer said. "You know what tomorrow is right?"

"You're going back to work," Emily nodded and drank the apple juice from her sippy cup. A smile grew on her face as she watched her father try and balance a plate on his casted hand. Despite trying hard not to, she let out a giggle. Derek turned towards that.

"What was that?" he questioned.

"Nothing," Emily said innocently.

"It didn't sound like nothing," Derek said. "What was that little sound I heard?"

"Not me, it Mommy," Em giggled.

"Are you sure?" Derek questioned. "Because that sounded very familiar…"

"Daddy you silly," she said pointing at him. "But you like me!"

"How so?" Derek said.

"My casted look like dat," Em mumbled.

"Do you wanna talk about your cast sweetie?" Mer asked.

"No… I want food," Em said. "But daddy too silly."

"I'm too silly?" Derek questioned. "You wanna know what _sounds_ silly?"

"What?" she tilted her head.

"That little noise I heard before," Derek said. "It was very silly and it made my hand feel better. Do you know how I can make that sound come again?"

"Dunno," Em squirmed, shimmying down her seat.

"I think I know Derek," Meredith said.

"No," Emily squeaked as both Meredith and Derek attacked her with tickles. "No!" she giggled and began giggling uncontrollably. "Mommy, Daddy, dat tickles!"

"Does it?" Derek said. "Maybe that's why it's called tickling, what do you think Mer?"

"Mama!" Emily squealed as Meredith nodded and continued to tickle her.

"Oh my Emi bear, you're the silliest of us all," Mer laughed before picking her up and throwing her over her shoulder.

"Me no bear," Emily informed her.

"Are you sure?" Meredith questioned.

"Yes!" she frowned, crossing her arms. "No bear, me girl!"

"I know silly goose," Mer teased and Emily let out a mock cry of indignation at another animal name. Meredith spun her baby girl around and closed her eyes. These moments were a blessing and she liked the savor them. She never knew when they would come next but she wrapped her mind around the fact that they will hopefully come every day soon enough. "Don't worry baby, I know you're not a bear or a goose."

"You can call me a goose if you wanna," Emily stuck her thumb in her mouth.

"How about I just call you Emily," Meredith kissed her nose.

"Mommy… why did my other daddy change my name?" Emily suddenly said. The dish in Derek's hand dropped to the ground but did not break and a lump formed in Meredith's throat.

"Because he didn't want other people to know who you were Em," she whispered.

"Oh," she nodded and began squirming to be let down. "What we doing today?" Meredith and Derek's eyes locked, those were the moments they actually wanted to have. The nice moments were amazing, yet they wanted to answer all her questions, they wanted to help her feel better. These moments however hardly came and when they did, they were sporadic and unplanned, always a shock to both of them.

"We're going to the park," Derek told her, too lost in his wife's pleading eyes to see Emily's smile turn to a frown.

* * *

Meredith and Derek had no idea about the many things that were running through Emily's head. A lot more than a three year old should be thinking. They simply thought she was marveling at the outside, a nice day. Today was the first full sunny day since she has been home and as Derek told her, they were going to the park. Their thoughts were only on a great day, not what kind of trauma going to the park could do, it was the park…

"We're here sweetie," Mer smiled, grabbing the picnic basket she had packed and blanket, handing them to Derek before lifting Em out of her car seat. Emily nodded and looked around. She recognized nothing. The park had once been her favorite place besides her house, but now she was only confused and scared as she saw the yellow slides and red swings.

Meredith and Derek were scared for another reason. Just before they had taken Emily in the car, Officer Martin called to tell them that the trail of Jason had still run cold. The last people to see him had to be Emily and the people he got information out of in the Tunnel. Somehow he had escaped without a trace and no one knew where he was. For all they knew, he was in Seattle, watching them, ready to kidnap Emily again or worse.

The reassurance of several other families taking advantage of the gorgeous day allowed Meredith and Derek to get the courage to advance further. Taking the advice of the police by not hiding in their house waiting for something that might never happen. They were never sure if they meant Jason coming back for her or Jason being caught in general. Both options scared the crap out of them.

Emily began to concern them as she simply clung to Meredith's hand as they settled down in the grass. They had made her promise that she would eat before she got to play and Derek observed as she purposely ate slowly. Even slower than Meredith and Derek combined.

"Mama, go home now?" she asked quietly.

"Don't you want to play outside baby?" Mer questioned. "On the swings, on the slide, what about the sand box… you love the sandbox." Emily's eyes shifted towards what Meredith pointed to as the sand box and took several steps forward. Derek and Meredith abandoned their blanket to follow her as she sat down at the edge. Another little girl was also playing as Emily's hand grasped a wad of sand and let it fall through her fingers.

Maybe the mother of the girl recognized Emily and Meredith and Derek from the news, or just had a foreboding feeling; but the second she picked up her daughter and brought her over to the swings, tears began to leak out of Emily's eyes slowly.

"Em," Derek began, reaching out for her. She flinched and suddenly began sobbing.

"Emily," Meredith said concerned. "Emi what's wrong honey?" Em shook her head and latched onto her.

"Please baby," Derek begged.

"I-I-I missed the sun," she cried. "I missed the rain. I missed being outside!"

"We know sweetie," Derek told her, stroking her hair. "We know, that's why we brought you here. We want you to know that now you'll get to know the sun again, the rain, you can go outside whenever we can take you."

"When I used to ask to go outside I'd get hurt," Emily whispered. Derek's fist clenched tightly and he closed his eyes.

"You will never get hurt by him again," Meredith stated, pulling away to look her in the eye. "And you'll never get hurt for asking to go outside again."

"I know," Emily said.

"We love you so much Emily, we love you so much that we hate him for hurting you, and continuing to hurt you," Derek told her. "You're safe now. He won't find you. He won't get to you. And you can ask for anything you want and Mommy and I will try as hard as we can to answer you or let you do it."

"I love you too," Emily nodded. Meredith pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"We won't punish you for trying to be a kid, because that's all this is," Mer motioned around the park. "Maybe you're not ready for it, and maybe if you're never ready for it, it just means you're getting older."

"Never," Emily gasped and Meredith and Derek smiled, as tragic as this trip to the park was, their daughter continued to amaze them.

* * *

One day, Meredith and Derek realized, this would all be in the distant past, a distant memory. The things they did, they would not remember, but the fact that Emily was finally home would be what they remembered and small things would fade into oblivion. Eventually PTSD would become less apart of their lives and the statement, 'She was kidnapped as a child' would become something they just said and no longer talked about.

"Mama, more mac n' cheese please," Emily smiled, her face already smeared with cheese sauce from her father's special recipe, more like her grandmother's.

"Coming right up Em," Derek chuckled as Meredith reached over to wipe her face and she let out a cry of anguish of not wanting to get cleaned up. This moment would not be one easily forgotten, although it seems nothing special, it was. Emily had initiated the mac and cheese dinner, once her favorite. This means she remembered what her favorite food was, but this was not the special part. When Derek pulled out the Kraft box, Emily had screamed, 'No! I want Grandma's mac and cheese!' Derek had almost burst out crying and Meredith had to sit down. Emily remembered her Grandma.

The rest of dinner was uneventful, other than the fact that Meredith and Derek need to take Em up for an early bath to get all of the cheese out of her hair. Once that was finished, they got her into her new pajamas, the ones Mer just bought the other day because she finally outgrew the ones she had been wearing, and brought her downstairs for a movie until bed time.

"You pick it out Em," Derek said and Emily nodded happily. Immediately she took her detour around the living room rug to the tv cabinet. Derek undid the child safety lock and allowed her to choose, she wanted Cinderella.

"RELLA!" she squealed as Derek started it. Without even realizing it, Emily sped across the living room rug, hopped up onto the couch, and into her mother's arms. Meredith gasped and her eyes widened. "Mama, what wrong?"

"Nothing sweetheart," Mer shook her head, remembering what Dr. Chance said at her last appointment. 'Sometimes, things will just come back naturally to her. She won't even realize she's not avoiding doing it anymore.'

"Who's your favorite character Emi?" Derek asked her.

"Cinderella daddy, duh," Emily giggled and put her little legs out to prevent her father from sitting down.

"So daddy can't sit?" Derek said.

"Nope," she said with a mischievous smile.

"So not even if I go like this," Derek said, sweeping her feet to the side and sitting down quickly.

"No fair, you too big," she pouted.

"I don't like to see that face," Derek tapped her nose. "Can I see your pretty little smile?"

"No," Em said.

"Please."

"No."

"I bet Rella wants to see your smile," Meredith whispered in her ear.

"Rella on TV, not here silly Mommy," Emily informed her.

"Really? I didn't know that," Mer shrugged.

"Acourse, you did," she giggled. "You and daddy are smartest people ever!"

"We are?" Derek said.

"Yepp," Em nodded.

"Why thank you princess, but I don't think so," Derek said.

"Dat okay, I still love you," Emily teased and with smiled.

"There it is," Derek said, tapping her mouth. Emily wrinkled her nose at him before she buried her head in her mother's shirt and turned towards the TV. Meredith and Derek were suddenly reintroduced to the world of Cinderella. The last time Mer had watched it was the day Emily was kidnapped, the last time Derek had watched it was probably the day before; because back then Em went into fads of movies and watched one every day for a week and then switched.

Suddenly, before Cinderella even made it to the ball, Emily's soft snores were heard. She had to be tired because even though they had not gone to the park, they took a walk in their woods to remind her of several paths they wanted her to remember if she ever got lost.

Gently, Derek lifted her up and brought her upstairs to their room, placed her on their bed, and went into the bathroom with Mer.

"I think I should sleep, I'm not used to getting up at 6 anymore," Mer mumbled through her toothbrush.

"I should go to sleep because I get to watch my beautiful rambunctious three year old all day tomorrow with a broken hand," Derek said with a mix of enthusiasm and sarcasm.

"You're the one who punched the wall," Mer reminded him softly.

"Well, the next time I hear my daughter was raped, back when she was two, I'll remember to punch a pillow," Derek said.

"You know that's not what I meant," Mer sighed.

"I know, it's just," Derek looked into the room where Em was curled up comfortably amongst their pillows and comforter.

"Justice will be served when that bastard it caught Der," Mer smiled sadly.

"If."

"I didn't say that, I said when. I believe there will be a when Derek, you should too." Leaving a kiss on his cheek, Meredith climbed into bed and wrapped her arms around her daughter. Derek joined her, left a kiss on both of their heads, and succumbed to sleep.

* * *

"Mama, Daddy," Emily's wail in their ears made both Derek and Meredith jump up.

"What is it baby?" Mer asked.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Derek questioned.

"No," she whimpered. Meredith brushed her sweaty head, what she usually had during a nightmare, and she gasped.

"Em honey, you're burning up," Mer told her.

"Mama, I no feel good," she sniffed.

"I'll get the thermometer," Derek said as Meredith pulled Em onto her lap.

"Does anything hurt princess?" she questioned.

"My head," she whispered, pulling Beary close to her chest. "My stomach feel icky." Before Meredith could do anything, Emily emptied the content of her stomach on her comforter as well as the bear. "BEARY!" she wailed. "MAMA!"

"Shhh Emi bear," Meredith said. "It's okay honey." Emily started crying hysterically, shaking her vomit covered bear. "Emi, I have to wash Beary."

"No!" she cried, shaking her head.

"Daddy's here now," Derek said coming in, turning on the light and immediately seeing the vomit which luckily missed both Meredith and Emily.

"Daddy," Emily whimpered.

"I gotcha baby," Derek said, picking her up. Derek sat on their window seat and placed the thermometer in her mouth, Em still having her tiny grasp on the bear. Meredith changed their sheets on the bed while Derek read off the thermometer.

"101.4," he announced. "Should I get the Children's Tylenol?"

"I got it," she reassured before she exited the room, returning seconds later with the medicine. Clearly Emily was feeling too sick to complain or didn't remember she hated the taste of medicine because she took it without a fight. That lasted up until Meredith tried to take Beary away from her.

"ME WANT BEARY!" she screamed.

"I know sweetheart," Derek said. "But Beary is all dirty and you don't want him to stay dirty do you?"

"Beary," Emily whimpered.

"What if we get you something else for you to sleep with tonight, and tomorrow Beary will be all clean," Meredith suggested.

"Where?" she tilted her head.

"From your room," Meredith said hesitantly. Emily pressed her back against Derek's chest and went rigid.

"My room," she whispered.

"I know it's been a while," Derek said. "But I'll go in there with you, I won't leave your side until your out."

"Promise."

"Cross my heart," Derek said. With a shaking hand Em let go of Beary and hopped off of Derek's lap. Sluggishly she walked towards her bedroom door and looked up at Meredith and Derek. The encouraged her forward and held their breaths as Derek creaked it open and turned on the light. They were greeted with the pink walls of her room and immediately Emily shut her eyes.

"Do you want me to close it?" Derek asked her.

"No," she whispered shakily. Meredith and Derek weren't sure if it was because she was scared, so sick, so tired, or a little bit of all three.

"There are your stuffed animals Emi, on the bed," Meredith told her. She held out her hand from Derek and walked straight for the bed, her eyes not straying towards her closet or anything else, besides the door which she kept making sure was open. When she reached the bed, her eyes came across a stuffed hippo that was closest to her. It had been a random stuffed animal that Derek had once won at a carnival for her but Emily smiled and grabbed it happily.

As quick as she could she ran out of the room, momentarily forgetting she was sick and suddenly letting out a moan.

"Let's get you back into bed princess," Derek said scooping her head and placing her amongst the newly made bed. Meredith was sure to grab a bucket from the hall closet in case she got sick again. Before her head even hit a pillow Emily was asleep, clutching the Hippo as if it was Beary.

"Derek I need to call in and say I can't go to work tomorrow," Mer said worriedly.

"I've handled her sick before Mer, you need to go into work," Derek urged.

"But not…"

"I'm not taking no for an answer Mer," Derek said. "You're going into work because I am on medical leave and we can't take months upon months of vacation."

"We didn't care before," Mer sighed.

"But that was different," Derek said."Em and I will be fine, I promise. Her being sick will change nothing. We just won't be going outside, we'll spend time together, I get to take care of my little girl even more, and tomorrow night we'll be reunited and do what we did tonight."

"I guess," she whispered.

"Stop worrying, we'll be fine," Derek reached over his sick daughter and kissed Meredith on the cheek. "Goodnight."

"Night," Mer mumbled. Somehow they forgot they were not falling asleep at normal time but in the middle of the night. Only two hours went by when the alarm went off, Emily, most likely exhausted from their ordeal last night, slept through it; but Meredith and Derek were forced to get up. Derek stayed in the bedroom while Meredith took a shower. It almost felt normal to do this stuff again and fall back into the swing of things that once were. Derek placed his hand on Em's forehead and felt she still had a fever but did not feel as hot as she was last night. The fever could help them both get through the first day back at work and the first day alone with them. Meredith will be focused on getting home to her sick daughter and not her scared one, while Derek can take care of her, but she'll be less likely to have a tantrum or have another PTSD episode.

Meredith brought her coffee and a bagel upstairs to eat while she got ready and talked to Derek quietly.

"Are you really sure you are okay with her alone Derek?" Mer asked. "I can go back-"

"Meredith, if we can't go on, we never will," Derek said softly. "If Em had not been taken, you would never think twice of leaving her alone with me."

"I'm calling you every hour," Meredith said.

"And I expected that, you woukd have done the same thing months ago," Derek smiled, kissing her on the lips. "Now you better go or you'll be late."

"Emily sweetheart," Mer murmured, rubbing her sick daughter's back gently. "Mama has to go into work."

"Mhmmm," Em mumbled.

"Still feeling sick?" Meredith questioned.

"Yeah," she croaked out.

"Feel better princess, Mommy will be home later and Daddy will be with you all day," Meredith kissed her head.

"Love you," Emily said, looking up at her with a weak smile on her face.

"I love you too angel, I'll talk to you later," Meredith whispered and watched her eyes close. She turned to her husband. "Derek... I- it's not even because she's sick."

"I know Mer... every half hour if you want," Derek reassured.

"I- only if I think she needs me," Mer gulped.

"I love you Mer," Derek said.

"Love you too Der," Mer said, settling into his arms for a brief moment before turning tearfully out the door, down the stairs, and out of the house.

"What are we going to do today Emi girl?" Derek asked his baby girls sleeping form. "I like that idea." With a smile, Derek crawled back into bed, wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, and fell asleep. That was until 10am.

"Daddy," Emily's whimper was heard.

"Morning Em," Derek said softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Otay," she sighed.

"You don't sound okay, I am going to get you more medicine and then I'll make you breakfast," Derek knew that he was right because she did not protest, even as he lifted her out of bed and into his arms. Derek bit his lip and tried to remember back to the last time Emily was sick. It had to have been more than a year ago, before she was kidnapped, long before really. Emily had not even been two yet and she had a stomach bug and both Meredith and Derek had stayed home constantly cleaning up after her. It had been a one day thing, and Em had cried continuously. Today was different. He was alone, Emily was a lot older, and he didn't have to only worry about her getting sick, but her remembering back to when she could have gotten sick while with Jason.

"Not hungry," Emily mumbled.

"Princess, you need to eat," Derek told her.

"No eat, Tramp!" Emily told him.

"Lady and the Tramp, at 10 in the morning?" he questioned. "No food?"

"My tummy feel too icky," she mumbled.

"Do you need the bucket?" Derek asked.

"No, I need Lady and the Tramp," Emily giggled.

"After your medicine," he said. "I'll be right out okay."

"Fine," she huffed and climbed onto the couch. She was still clutching the hippo she took from her room that night. Just as Derek had the medicine measured out, the phone rang.

"Hello," he answered.

"Dr. Shepherd, this is Officer White," the man on the other end said.

"Officer White... I may have said before to call me Dr. Shepherd, but that was when I was being a jackass. You helped us so much and... call me Derek," Derek said.

"You call me Dan then," Derek could swear he could hear him smiling. "We just wanted to call and inform you that your mother has helped us tremendously in helping us track down Hartley. We've managed to discover how he got out of the tunnel. He managed to car hop towards the front, a place that was already checked. The second they were bringing in the ambulance for Emily, he made his escape on foot into New Jersey according to a witness who recognized him from a sketch your mother helped us with. After that, he stole hair dye and around 700 dollars from a CVS, changed his look before hopping on a bus to Delaware. He took a plane out of Summit Airport to Wisconsin. From there..."

"They lost him," he choked out.

"The FBI is keeping us in the loop, but it seems he is currently off the grid," he let him know. "But not completely. The one place no one will let him get is here in Seattle. I will personally makle sure of it."

"Thanks Dan," Derek nodded. "And thank you for keeping us in the loop."

"How is she doing?" Dan asked.

"Sick today, but... it's..."

"Taking a while."

"Amazing," Derek smiled. "She surprises me everyday."

"I have to get back to work, another case, I will keep you updated," with that Dan hung up and Derek ran his fingers through his hair. He completely forgot about the reason Emily was found in the first place. _His mother_.

"Daddy! Tramp!" Emily exclaimed.

"Coming Em," Derek nodded, placing the DVD in the DVD player and handing Emily her medicine. This time she was a little more reluctant, but complied anyway. As he saw the opening scene come on and Emily bury her head into the hippo looking as happy as possible for still having a fever. Seeing her content, Derek went into the kitchen and sat down. It had almost been a month since Emily had come home. One and a half months since he last talked to her mother. He never called her, even if she and his sisters were the one who helped the police and FBI track down Emily. But they didn't call him either. He was sure that his mother was undoubtedly beating herself up for hiring him as a plumber for months, but he still wasn't entirely sure she hadn't called. He wasn't sure why he or Mer hadn't called her. Derek wasn't even sure why he hit *67 before dialing his mother's number.

"Hello," she answered calmly.

"Ma," Derek choked out.

"Derek?" she questioned.

"Hi," he mumbled.

"So- so how have you been?" Carolyn stuttered.

"Mom, I- how've you been?" Derek hardly knew how to carry onb this conversation.

"I asked you first," she muttered.

"I called you," Derek argued.

"But I-"

"We're acting like children Ma... why can't we carry on a conversation. I haven't talked to you in forever," Derek informed her.

"I... you know just wanted to give you space," Carolyn sighed.

"Space from what, my mother?" Derek questioned. "Why would I even want that?"

"Because of Emily," Carolyn said.

"I admit that's why I hadn't called you... because I have been spending as much time as possible with her. But that's thanks to you," Derek reassured.

"How can you say because of me. I knew him for months, I was inches from my granddaughter and I kept her there in his custody," Carolyn spat. "How could you or Meredith ever even forgive me?"

"Mom, how were you supposed to know... he changed his identity, his looks... I thought I'd know him if I saw him, but apparently he went to the funeral we had for Em, that bastard was there and I never saw him," Derek said. "You cannot blame yourself, not ever."

"But Em-"

"He was trying to leave and we got her back because you let them know in time... if anything, our lack of communication is Mer and I's fault because we never called to thank you for giving us our baby back," Derek said. "And what better woman to get that honor than my mom."

"Then she's okay... Emily is okay?" Carolyn asked, ignoring what he just said.

"There's PTSD, and Stockholm syndrome is still taking place where she calls him her other daddy, but otherwise... we're good, things are going good," Derek told her. "I'm happy, Mer's happy, and Emily's home, happy, and healing."

"I... why do I feel like the roles are reversed?"

"Because I've been forced to grow up and become responsible for a million things at a time in the past month while you've had this past month to remember and sit on everything that you think you overlooked," Derek said.

"When will I get to see you, her," Carolyn questioned. "It's been almost a year Derek since I last saw her."

"Thanksgiving is coming up... then," Derek said. "We'll have it at our house because Emily can't go on a plane yet."

"She's afraid?" Carolyn asked.

"She wasn't with the social worker, but she was scared and confused, still partially brainwashed and not remembering who we were," Derek explained. "I want to wean into her first plane trip with us."

"Am I the only one coming up?" she said.

"Absolutely not," Derek smiled. "We need Em to get to know all of her cousins, aunt, and uncles again. She's gotta remember the craziness she comes from."

"She doesn't remember?"

"Sometimes she needs reminding. But I have to go Mom, it's my first day home alone with Em because she is sick and Mer is at work," Derek informed her.

"Of course Derek... send Mer and Em my love and I'll talk to you later about Thansgiving. And Derek. I am sorry," Carolyn said.

"No need to be," Der shook his head. "I love you Mommy, and thank you so much."

"No need to be thankful baby boy, she's my granddaughter, your my son," Carolyn smiled. "Bye."

"Who dat?" Emily piped up from the couch.

"Your grandmother," Derek answered warily.

"Oh," Em said. "I think I remember her." Derek's chest all but burst open.

"That's good baby," Derek said, running his hand over her cooling head. "That's good."

* * *

**And here comes the return of the Shepherds. They won't be coming up from New York for a while but when they come, they'll come ready to take on Emily's trauma(with the help of Kathleen). Emily will need more than the crash course of the Shepherd's she just had but it will come with both sadness and comedy when it does. And… Emily made several new steps in her healing. There are so many more steps, but they are coming together and more frequent! **

**You are all going to be wondering what's going on with the investigation of Jason Hartley… I may give you tidbits once in a while but right now this is the focus of the story. You'll see what I have planned for him…**

**PS: I finished this chapter at my dance competition and I am exhausted too so I will fix any mistakes later. I just wanted to get this chapter up (:**

**Please R&R! It makes me update faster!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: I only own Emily Shepherd and Jason Hartley!**

**I hate to say that I am practically done with Grey's Anatomy. I will finish this fic and Running Into Love but, honestly, I do not care for the show and I will not write any more Grey's fics after they are done. I will continue to watch Grey's only to find out what happens in the end of all of this crap...**

**FINALS ARE OVER AND DONE WITH! I AM OFFICIALLY A SENIOR! (:**

**So this chapter falls back into my pattern again, home, therapy, back home, something monumental. It's going to stop soon which is obviously good ;) This story is actually winding down, but don't worry, I am not finished with it yet…**

* * *

Meredith smiled as she pulled down the mirror in the car and caught a glimpse of her daughter in her car seat. A more frequent occurrence around the house was spread across her face, a smile. In her hands she clutched Beary and her hippo that she has not let go even since getting Beary back.

Her first day back to work, Mer had been a wreck. She called Derek thousands of times and every time Emily was asleep. She was not going to ever forgive herself for leaving her baby girl on the first time she was sick since coming home. When she came home she was presently surprised. Dinner had been lain out for her, a note on her chair drawn by Emily. Derek had written 'hope you had a great day at work' and Emily had a picture of her in blue scrubs. It brought a waterfall of tears to her eyes.

The next day, she was yet again surprised when downstairs; Emily with a broken fever had been already downstairs and waiting for her. Derek was going to do paperwork while Mer worked and she could see Em whenever she wanted. Things were easily falling back to where they once were. Of course that was until Wednesday came, the day they were all off and they went to Dr. Chance. Emily didn't mind going to Dr. Chance, but it constantly reminded them why they had to go to her in the first place.

"Mama I hungry," Emily announced.

"You know how to speak like a big girl, don't you Emily Elizabeth," Meredith warned, smiling to herself. She was getting back to the point where she could speak to her daughter such as this, correcting her, etc.

"Mama, I am hungry," Emily fixed.

"You know our deal Em," Derek said. "After Dr. Chance, what do you get?"

"Ice cream!" Emily squealed.

"Or-"

"Ice cream!" Emily giggled. Derek and Meredith's eyes met lovingly before they turned into Dr. Chance's office. Once Emily was out of the car seat she ran towards the doors and at the elevator, ready to push the button to the third floor. Just a few weeks ago Emily had to be curled up in her parents arms in order to ride an elevator, let alone come here.

"Hi Miss Janice!" Emily waved to the secretary. Miss Janice waved back at her before returning to er phone call. Meredith and Derek chastisized her for still talking in her outside voice and took a seat. The other parents in the waiting room were Kent and Laura Meyers, their son Julian went to Dr. Roberts. They started around the same time and both Meredith and Derek were shocked but sympathetic to find that Emily was improving a lot quicker than Julian.

A couple minutes later, Emily was sitting comfortably in her favorite chair working on a drawing.

"We're going to do things a little differently today, does that sound okay Emily?" Dr. Chance asked.

"Okay," she shrugged and moved both Beary and her hippo closer to her.

"I'm gonna ask you some questions and if you feel you can, you answer them," Dr. Chance began. "Now first… I recognized Beary. But who is this?" she pointed to the hippo.

"That's my hippo, I got him from my room when I was sick and throwed up all over Beary," Emily said.

"What's his name?"

"She don't gots a name yet," Emily said.

"Well that's not good, all stuffed animals need to have a name," Dr. Chance said.

"I haven't thought of one yet," Em told her. Dr. Chance continued asking her about the past week and what she did. She told her about going to the park and how she got sad. She said she the had what her daddy called a 24 hour bug, but didn't know what that meant but it had to be icky because bugs are icky. Then she explained how she went into work with her parents and spent time in her daddy's office and with her Aunt Izzie and Aunt Zona.

"You like going to work with your parents, hanging out with them," Dr. Chance confirmed. "Now this one is a little harder. Emily, what did your other daddy say about why you were no longer with your Mommy and Daddy?"

Emily looked up in shock. The questions had been easy, and she was right, this was a lot harder. With a whimper her face buried deep inside the fur of both Beary and her hippo which she now clutched tightly in her hands.

"You can tell me, right Em? You trust me," Dr. Chance said softly, placing a hand on her arm with care. Emily looked up.

"H-he said they gave me to him," Emily whispered.

"Did he tell you why?" Dr. Chance questioned.

"He said they didn't want me anymore, he said that they didn't love me and that this was punishment for being a bad daughter," Emily wailed. "But that was a lie!"

"Very good Emily, it was a lie," she nodded.

"I know my Mommy and Daddy love me! They wouldn't call me Emi Bear, or Em, they wouldn't take me out for ice cream, they wouldn't have kept me after everything that has happened if they didn't love me," she continued.

"I know," Dr. Chance smiled widely. "They love you very much, if they didn't love you, they wouldn't be bringing you to me. They wouldn't be helping you get better."

"Can I see them," she asked quietly.

"Do you mind if I speak with them first," Dr. Chance questioned. "You can make them a nice picture and then you are done early. You didn't very very well and I know I am so proud of you." Emily smiled slightly, sniffling.

"Okay," she nodded as Dr. Chance left her tissues and exited the room. She expected Meredith and Derek to be crying in each other's arms as they were.

"This is is, the first step," she told them. "She knows that he lied, and that he was bad, and that should make her realize that everything that happened was not her fault, or yours, just his, and that should let her open up to us more. There's still a long road, because she is still having nightmares, but once she lets us know how she felt when he was doing all the bad things to her, she'll start to let go of them. She'll never forget, but when she's older maybe the pain and the memories will fade."

"Th-thank you Dr. Chance, I didn't know how we'd do any of this without you," Derek gulped.

"No need to thank me," she said. "It's my job, now I think there is a little girl who wants to give you a picture." Just as she said that, Emily flung herself in their arms.

* * *

The rest of the day was a blur. Careful not to make her so upset again, Meredith and Derek waited until after dinner and ice cream to talk to her about what they heard. They found her eager to go upstairs on the couch.

"Em, can we talk to you," Meredith said softly.

"Acourse you can Mama," Emily giggled.

"We wanted to let you know how brave you're being Bear," Derek said, sitting down next to her. "But also that we heard what you said to Dr. Chance today."

"Oh," she whispered.

"Do you remember, a couple months ago," Mer said. "We got to talk to you on the phone."

"Mhm hmm, after I saw you on tv," Emily nodded.

"Did you forget about what we actually talked about?" Derek questioned and like they expecting, she burst into tears and hugged Derek tightly.

"I'm sorry," she cried.

"Why are you sorry honey?" Meredith said.

"I-I knew it wasn't true," Em sobbed. "It couldn't be true, it just… but I told my other daddy that it was, and I told Dr. Chance even though it was a lie!"

"We-"

"I didn't want to get hurt, that's why I did it, if I lied, my other daddy wouldn't get mad so I had to! I'm really sorry, please forgive me," she began to shake.

"Em," Meredith whispered. "We do not blame you for any of this."

"Y-you don't," Emily sniffed.

"No, not for a second Bear," Derek reassured. "Like you said today, your other daddy was a bad man and he was lying. It would hurt me more if you got hurt because you wanted to make sure you told the truth. We know the truth, and that is all that matters."

"We love you to the stars and back Emily, and we always will, and we know you feel the same way," Meredith told her, moving closer to her husband and daughter and placing a gentle kiss in her short wavy dark hair. They let her sobs of relief now leak out of her body and soon collapse against Derek in exhaustion.

"Stars," Emily finally mustered the strength to say.

"What?" Meredith said confused.

"The stars," she whispered. "When you talked to me on the phone. You said that in order to say goodnight to you, I had to say goodnight to the stars because God gave us a bright star so I'd know you were talking to me."

"We remember," Derek nodded.

"Now you can say goodnight to me in person, and I know you are in your room or at the hospital at night... but it's not really goodnight when I am just in your bed," she looked down.

"Em..." Meredith gasped.

"Can I sleep in my bed tonight?"

* * *

"How long do you think you will be staying with us Mr. Whitney?" the receptionist asked.

"For a few days," he grunted and took the key card from her outstretched hand. She looked at him with a shrug before turning back to her paperwork. Hunter Whitney walked towards the elevator with his suitcase and into room 249.

He plopped his suitcase on the bed and rummaged through the things he would need. Birth certificate, license, all of which he had to do with no help.

He was angry because he no longer had a way to go free if ever cornered or found, that just meant he might have to get someone else once he gets established. Now that she managed to escape him meant that the entire country was on the lookout for an abuser, kidnapper, and murderer who had no leverage and could be taken down with a gunshot to the head or chest.

With a scowl and glimpse at his now bald head and blue eyes, Jason Hartley walked towards the window of his hotel and watched as a bird flew by the Florida coast. Maybe if he was lucky, he could get to Mexico in a few days or hitch a ride to the Bahamas?

* * *

**And you all doubted chapters ago that this story would not end happy, if this is not the closest thing to happy in this story so far, I don't know what is ;) Anyway, amazing progress for our Emily today and it's going to continue!**

**If any of you read NCIS fanfiction, or even if you don't, please check out my poll on my profile, thanks (:**

**Please R&R!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: I own nothing about Grey's!**

**Okay, so I'm a cruel cruel cruel cruel person! ****All the way back in November I promised you an update and this is almost the end of April! I know I'm cruel but, here's an update about my life!**

**I've now committed to Pitt, I have AP exams coming up, I have graduation coming up, I have senior prom coming up, and have a PittStart to attend all the while I am begging for some scholarships that I have spent the last three months filling out (:**

**No excuse for no update though! But… here is one… and here's another good thing. After AP exams we don't have to go back to school for the day so that leaves me like hours to write and June 1****st**** is my last day of school. This fic WILL be finished before I got away to college in August! I will try hard to get a new update at least every couple of weeks until my life calms down (:**

**Without further ado… this chapter has a time jump of about two weeks.**

***Warning* This chapter explains several incidences of abuse towards a child, please read at your own risk!**

* * *

_Two weeks later…_

There are many reasons why Meredith is watching her daughter like a hawk. The most obvious would be that she was kidnapped and taken away from her for months. Going along with that was how fragile her daughter was. That even as she has taken to sleeping in her own bed again, Meredith and Derek have woken up night after night to soothe her nightmares.

But the most important is one that you wouldn't expect; watching her grow.

There is 7 months of Emily's life that none of them will ever get back, and it will be a feeling that will never go away. A feeling of anger, disappointment, and ultimately sadness.

And now, she wasn't just getting older. She was healing and growing at the same time.

Just last week, Meredith brought her to the dress shop along with Callie and Arizona. She laughed as Emily twirled in every dress she tried on. Begging for it to be pink and for it to have a flower. Of course, her Aunts could not say no to her, so she has both.

When Callie and Arizona were trying on their dresses, Meredith held Em, still in the dress and saw a scar on her neck she never saw before. Without think she ran her finger over it.

"Mommy, it's okay," Emily said. "Kiss it and make it better, I did that."

"What sweetie?" Meredith sniffed.

"I did it," her voice grew quieter but she still turned and looked at her mother. "I tried to unlock the door but it was too dark and I fell off my bed. That's when Jason decided to let me out sometimes during the day and took off the wood from my window. New York is a stinky place, there's lots of rats."

Arizona and Callie came out of the dressing room to finding Meredith quietly sobbing into Em's growing hair and Emily playing happily with the flower on her dress.

This was not the first time Emily had begun to talk about the abuse, outside of Dr. Chance's office.

"_Lex, what's wrong?" Meredith asked worriedly as she ran over to their house to pick up Em. Lexie was already on maternity leave and Mark was off, so when Derek returned to work the first time, they offered to watch her for the day._

"_Nothing," Lexie sniffled._

"_That's not anything Lexie," Meredith protested._

"_It's just, I don't know how much Em has talked but…"_

"_She told you something," Mer said hopefully. _

"_She did," Lexie nodded._

"_Wh-What about," Mer stuttered._

"_I-" Lexie began._

"_MOMMY!" Emily giggled and ran towards her before leaping into her arms._

Later that night, Meredith and Derek sat down with her on the swing on their porch. Emily was ready to play outside, but Meredith and Derek were hardly ready so they compromised to let her go as far as the porch which at least wrapped around the entire house. She was playing with Beary and the still unnamed hippo when she looked upset.

"_I made Aunt Lexie cry," she whimpered._

"_No Em, you didn't make her cry," Derek reassured her. She looked up at them and moved over to the swing and climbed on her lap._

"_But she started to cry when I tolded her," Em sighed._

"_What did you tell her," Derek questioned._

"_How Jason threw me down the stairs in Philphadelphia," she cried. "And then made me fall down the stairs in New York which was why I stopped going to day care."_

"_Why did you tell her?" Mer said._

"_Cause she tolded me to walk on the stairs but I don't like to, when I used to walk on the stairs, that's when Jason would get me, I was too fast for him," Emily buried her head into Derek's chest._

"_Aunt Lexie told that to you so you would be safe," Derek explained. "It's okay to walk on the stairs now. Sometimes if you run, you can fall and hurt yourself too."_

"_Okay," she sniffed. "Can we go for a walk in the woods?"_

"_Of course baby girl," Meredith smiled, picking her up and securing her hand in hers. She would never take this for granted again._

However, when they initiated the conversation from scratch, she would clam up. And Howard, was a forbidden topic unless they wanted to apologize for hours and promise her a special treat. Her nightmares were getting worse, not better, and it seemed to be getting harder, not easier as Dr. Chance said.

Tomorrow would be different; tomorrow's session would focus directly on the two weeks in which she was not in Jason's care. Hopefully this would help their baby girl.

* * *

_Emily whimpered as she hit her head on the cupboard which was Howard's latest hiding spot for her. It was locked on the outside and it was so dark, but she couldn't cry, she knew she couldn't cry. If she cried like she did before, he'd hurt her down there again. And he'd hit her again too._

"_ERIN! YOU BETTER NOT BE CRYING!" he screamed. "YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO IN THERE!"_

"_I'm not crying!" she whimpered._

"_It sounds like it," he growled._

"_Please, I'll be good!"_

"_I'm coming in."_

"_NO!" she screeched._

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" her screams echoed through the house. Her eyes flew wide open and she quickly sought comfort in Beary and hippo, her tears soaking through their fur.

"Emily," Meredith gasped, running in. "What's wrong sweetheart."

"Bad dream," she whispered, turning towards her mother. "It okay now."

"Would you like me to stay until you fall back asleep," she asked. Emily nodded. Her Mommy rubbed her back in small circles until she succumbed to sleep again. These nightmares were about the plane rides, they weren't that bad. The whole time she was simply frozen in fear, no need to scream.

When her parents woke her up, she realized since they were both not going to work, that it was Dr. Chance's day. She liked Dr. Chance but she made her talk about what happened. It felt good to tell someone, but her parents were watching, she knew that. Emily didn't want her parents to know too much, then they might not love her as much.

Her special breakfast for therapy days were blueberry pancakes, she loved blueberry pancakes so it made her love therapy days. And also, there was not a day that her Mommy would not make her laugh by offering to help.

The ferry ride still scared her slightly, she didn't remember it fully, but she was beginning to enjoy standing up on a bench with her father holding her tightly so she could look at the water.

Miss Janice was the cool secretary who would give her candy if they had to wait longer than ten minutes for Dr. Chance to invite her into her room.

Today, was different though. Miss Janice was still there, but Dr. Chance was ready for her immediately. And instead of having her color about her week for the first twenty minutes, it was only ten. Little did she know that Derek and Meredith gave her the go ahead to talk and push about Howard, the one thing that was holding her back from them.

* * *

"Hey Emily, we are going to put the crayons away a little early, that sound okay with you?" Dr. Chance asked, moving the white piece of paper Emily was about to start on away from her.

"How come? I didn't get to draw my pwetty dress for Aunt Zona and Aunt Callie's wedding yet!" she complained.

"Maybe you can color a little after," Dr. Chance reassured.

"Otay," Emily giggled.

"Now, do you remember how long you have been seeing me?" she questioned.

"Since I gots back," Emily answered. "I dunno how long dat was."

"It's been almost two months," Dr. Chance said. "And we have talked about a lot of things, haven't we."

"Yupp," Emily nodded.

"But there is something, or rather someone, we only talked about once; do you remember who that is?" Dr. Chance led on. Emily tilted her head innocently, confused.

"No, me know member," she said.

"Well, Jason had you for a while, but he gave you to someone else for a couple weeks, didn't he?"

"I wanna color again," Emily said immediately.

"Soon honey," Dr. Chance sensed how she was retreating. "Do you remember his name?"

"I wanna draw my dress," she whimpered.

"It was Howard, right?"

"No," she cried and got up, running to the door. Usually when she did this, her parents would open the door and take her home and out for ice cream. They didn't come quick enough so she ran into the corner.

"Emily."

"NO!" she screamed.

"Emily, why don't you want to talk about him?" Dr. Chance got up and walked towards her slowly.

"Because," she whimpered. Dr. Chance's heart broke as she looked into her emerald green eyes, sparkling with tears. Her body was trembling, her mouth trying to form more words that could scarcely come out.

"We don't have to talk just yet," Dr. Chance reassured. "I know you want to color more, so let's color." Dr. Chance led her back over to the table where the crayons were. Emily grabbed the paper.

"Can I draw my dress now," she whispered.

"I want you to draw Howard, do you think you can do that for me?" Dr. Chance asked. A haunted look crossed the three year olds eyes and she did not answer. Her trembling fingers picked up a crayon though. What she drew, was terrifying, it was scribbles and scary eyes, nothing like a human. "Why does he look like that Emily?"

"He was a monster," Emily whispered. "I called him a monster."

"Why did you call him a monster?" she pushed. Emily's lips pursed and she shook her head, looking as if she was ready to bolt again. "Emily, why don't you want to talk about it?"

"Because, I feel icky!" she finally exclaimed. It was either in anger or sadness, but it was finally coming out.

"Because of what he did to you?"

"He touched me... and made me touch him," her sobs bubbled over.

"I know sweetie, he was a bad man."

"Why does my daddy want to hug me and kiss me if he's done that to me." Dr. Chance's heart clenched.

"What do you mean?"

"Why would they still like me if I feel so icky!" The look in her eyes confirmed Dr. Chance's and everyone's suspicions. She blamed herself and didn't want anyone else to know what happened to her.

"They do not think you are icky honey."

"Why not? He did icky things to me! That makes me icky!"

"Because they love you. And if anything, it makes them want to hug and kiss you more. They hate that man even more, and Jason more for taking you away."

"Jason was never as bad, he let me take a bath by myself after he taught me. But he taught me while I was in a bathing suit is Philphadelphia."

"But you should have never had to live with him, you know that right?"

"Right."

"And you know everything that happened, was not your fault, right?" Emily didn't answer. "Emily, do you think this was all your fault?"

"I was bad," she cried. "When I was bad he did these things to me. If I could have been good…"

"Listen to me Emily," Dr. Chance said. "These feelings are scary, thinking it was your fault, right?" She nodded. "But it was anything but your fault."

"But-"

"Being good, in their eyes, made them win. It made it okay that they took you from your Mommy and Daddy."

"No," she shook her head. "It was bad that they took me away from them!"

"I know, and you know that too, and we can't let them win anymore by keeping you up with nightmares, making you think it was your fault. Right?"

"I guess not. How do I win?"

"By doing what you're doing. I am so incredibly proud of you, you have stood up to your fears and talked about the scary things. Do you feel better inside because you did?"

"A little."

"So that's all that matter," Dr. Chance hugged her tightly. "You did so good today, we are ending early. Now… I don't know about you, but I want to see a picture of that flower girl dress."

"I can draw it now," Emily looked at her, a light sparkling in her eyes as she wiped her tears away.

"Yes, I'm going to go talk to your parents and I expect to see it, okay?"

"Okay!"

* * *

"Are you okay?" Dr. Chance's voice broke the embrace that currently enveloped Meredith and Derek. They looked at her, their eyes puffy.

"She did so good," Meredith whispered. "Thank you."

"Your daughter has made leaps, not steps in her recovery. I have never been more proud of a patient in my entire life. She has endured more trauma then anyone has ever needed in their life and has made so many positive steps in the right direction," Dr. Chance praised. "Your little girl is the one to be amazed at, I did nothing."

"Your helping her, she won't talk to us if we initiate the conversation," Derek said. "But… now we know why."

"You take her out for ice cream after every session, talk to her then… and I will see you in two weeks," Dr. Chance smiled.

"What?"

"In the past two months, Emily has remembered her family, confronted the truth of how bad Jason was, returned to her bedroom, and now confronted the truth about Howard; the rest is up to you all," Dr. Chance explained. "There is not much I can do because as I just said, you have an amazing little girl there who is ready to only need therapy once every two weeks."

"No matter what you say," Meredith approached the doctor. "You have helped her significantly and we owe you a debt of gratitude." She hugged the doctor tightly before stepping back to smile at her daughter who was concentrating on the drawing in front of her.

"I think I have a dress to look at, and I think she's waiting for some ice cream," Dr. Chance squeezed her arm reassuringly before disappearing behind the doorway again. Emily came walking out a minute later, arms outstretched to Derek. He picked her up and she immediately began to play with his shirt.

"You know," she confirmed, knowing they were watching. She looked in his eyes seriously. For a second he forgot she was only 3; from the looks of her determination she looked about 30.

"We do baby girl," Meredith stroked her cheek. Emily looked at her. "And we're sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" she asked. "It's not your fault, it's not my fault… it's Jason and Howard's fault." Meredith let out a quick sob. Emily reached out to stroke her mother's cheek gently and wiped away a tear. "Don't worry Mama, we gonna be okay."

"I know baby girl," Meredith whispered, kissing her head. "I know."

"Now let's go get some ice cream," Derek said.

"STRAWBERRY!" Emily giggled loudly. And the Shepherd family left the psychiatrists office full of smiles for the first time, ever.

* * *

**Next chapter is what you have all been waiting for… the Shepherd's (:**

**Thank you all so much for staying with me! I promise that I will update this within the next two weeks! It all depends on how quickly iSeriouslylovegreys gets out her next chapter of Running into Love! Please R&R!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it, never will!**

**So I am updating at a regular pace now! Granted it's currently midnight so basically I am just updating as much as I can so that I can study for AP Calculus Exam which on Wednesday and then AP Bio next Monday!**

**This chapter is Thanksgiving with all of the Shepherds... Emily's Seattle family will be there but none of them have kids yet so, Emily will be thrown back into their world… how will it go?**

* * *

"Mama why you cleaning? You NEVER clean," Emily giggled as she followed her mother around the house, her hippo in her hands.

"Remember Em, today is Thanksgiving," Mer told her.

"It not Thanksgiving yet, no turkey," Emily informed her. "It only 7!"

"Well… there will be a turkey soon," Meredith told her.

"You no make turkey Mommy, house go vroom… up in flames!" Emily informed her, dramatically making her arms wave. Meredith was going to kill her husband for ever mentioning that to her daughter.

"I'm not gonna make the turkey Emi," Meredith began cautiously. "Your Grandma's making the turkey." Emily shrunk back from her mother immediately and Meredith's heart sank. Last week Meredith had informed Emily of their plans for Thanksgiving and she had yet to really grasp the concept that Derek had more family then the ones in Seattle. Meredith hoped that Emily's reunion with Derek's side of the family would be like the one with the Seattle family. In the airport, something had clicked and allowed Emily's to remember them, but unfortunately, the Shepherd's would not be people fresh in their mind. They had last seen them on Christmas, which was almost a year ago and before all of this happened.

"Oh," she whispered. Quickly she ran over to the couch and curled up on it.

"Em baby, what's wrong?" Meredith said, concerned.

"I member a little," she told her. "But does Grandma know?"

"Grandma knows," Meredith nodded. "And she has been waiting months to see you, and we wanted her and everyone else to be with us on Thanksgiving. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"Else?" she asked.

"Our Seattle family of course," Meredith told her. The little girl's eyes lit up immediately. "And remember what I said about daddy having sisters just like Aunt Lexie is my sister." Her smile fell slightly.

"Yeah, but I don't remember them," she whimpered. "I want to but I don't."

"Honey, remember what Dr. Chance said… you might not ever remember them from back then, because of what Jason did, but you will make new memories with them… that's what this Thanksgiving is about," Mer reassured. "I want to put the past behind us, don't you baby girl?"

"Yeah," she sighed. Meredith kissed her nose and Emily giggled.

"I love you Mommy," Emily sighed.

"I love you too my Emi bear," Meredith said. "Why don't you watch a movie until Grandma gets here? She's gonna get here before everyone else, would you like that?"

"Okay," she nodded. Meredith stroked her growing curls and turned on the TV. "What do you want to watch?"

"RELLA!" she exclaimed.

_Your forgiven princess," she said. "Now... you wanna go watch Cinderella."_

_"Rella! Rella!" Emily giggled and started jumping up and down. Meredith put the DVD in for Em and cleaned up from lunch before sitting down with her. It wasn't long until Emily was asleep, Meredith, not realizing it was her nap time. Instead of putting her upstairs she allowed her to sleep on her lap for the majority of the time. She was still upset about Amanda and was easily comforted by her daughters sleeping form. Of course, it didn't take long for Emily to wake up as soon as the hour and a half passed. Immediately she became the rambunctious two year old again._

_"Mommy what we do now!" Emily giggled. Meredith was about to suggest coloring but the thought of crayons and markers in the already messy living room made her shutter._

_"Em, why don't you go to your play room for a little and maybe we can go for a walk later," Meredith suggested._

_"Okay Mommy!" Emily giggled and grabbed Beary by the arm. Meredith shook her head as she felt the thump of her little feet through the floor on the way to the play room._

_"Careful Em," she laughed and began picking up some of Emily's toys and DVD's that were scattered over the rug in the living room, despite the fact that they had a play room. That is when she heard a door creak open._

_"Em!" she called. "Emily Elizabeth answer me!" There was no answer. All she heard was a door close._

_"EMILY-" she broke off as something struck her in the back of the head and she fell to the floor and everything went black..._

Meredith pushed those thoughts from her head, not today. Not until Emily needed her to remember, so she could comfort her.

"When's Grandma gonna be here Momma?" Emily asked as she relaxed comfortably, playing with the soft fabric of her pajamas still.

"Probably around the time Cinderella is over," Meredith told her.

"Huh," Emily gasped, and then let out a sly smile. "You NEVER gonna finish cleaning the house by then!"

"Oh Em," Meredith murmured, kissing her head before returning to her vacuum. She looked around the rest of the house, unfortunately her daughter was right.

"She's here," Derek breathed as he saw the town car from the airport arrive at the driveway. It was currently about 8:30. His mother came early for two reasons, one to cook the turkey and make everything else, and two because she was the only Shepherd Emily had the slightest memory of.

"She's gonna be fine Der," Meredith reassured. "We all will. We will take it slow. Let's see how she is with Mom first."

"Okay," Derek nodded.

"Momma, that Grandma?" Emily asked, suddenly coming out from behind them. "Rella's over!"

"Yeah, that's Grandma Em," Derek picked her up as the door bell rang. Meredith looked over at Derek confused and opened the door.

"Meredith," Carolyn breathed with a smile.

"Mom, why in the world are you ringing the doorbell?" Meredith asked immediately, giving the older woman a hug. "You don't have to."

"I just didn't… oh," Carolyn gasped. She looked at her granddaughter in shock. The little girl she had last seen on Easter was no longer a little girl. Her still slightly fragile frame aside, she had grown so much when she was with Jason height wise.

"Grandma?" Emily questioned looking at Derek. Everyone's heart sank; they hadn't shown her pictures, because they didn't want to get her upset. But maybe that was a bad idea. "Daddy down!"

"Ok princess," Derek put her on the ground. Emily ran towards Carolyn and hugged her legs, giggling.

"I 'member!" she said proudly. "Grandma I 'member you!" Carolyn exploded into a smile mixed with tears. She picked up one of her youngest grandchildren and pulled her into her chest.

"I'm so happy Emily," she sighed contently. "Because I remember you. And I love you very much and I'm so glad to see you."

"Me too," Emily said. "Where turkey. I want turkey now! Momma said you make turkey!"

"Well it takes a while to make a turkey; can I count on you as my special helper?" Carolyn asked.

"Yes! I can cook, me no make big fire like Mommy," Emily giggled.

"Emily Elizabeth," Meredith chastisized with a joke. "You better stop teasing me about my cooking skills."

"Why Mommy," Emily said innocently.

"Because this might happen," Meredith laughed and she scooped her up, immediately ticking her unmercifully.

"Grandma, Daddy, help me," Emily squealed in delight.

"Sorry Em," Derek chuckled. "I gotta help Grandma get her stuff from the car." Meredith carried her over to the couch to snuggle for a little while Carolyn got settled.

"Derek," Carolyn said. "How are you?" She looked at him seriously as he pulled his wallet out to pay the town car. He sighed and looked at her.

"There are good days and bad days," he told her. "Every day with her is a blessing. Like yesterday, she came running into our room at 6 o'clock exclaiming how she didn't have a nightmare that night. And then when we dropped her off at day care and she let go of us so quickly."

"It-"

"But then last week, at her appointment with Dr. Chance, god mom I wanted to punch someone I… she talked about Howard, the man who ra-who rap- I can't even say it," he growled. "And all she did the rest of the day was cry and ask if we were mad at her."

"Derek, she's doing well considering," Carolyn reassured. "She… she remembered me, didn't she? I haven't seen her since I came down here for Easter."

"Exactly Mom, she saw you at Easter. She last saw everyone else at Christmas," Derek said.

"Oh," Carolyn said. "She doesn't remember them then."

"No, and it kills me," Derek said. "She doesn't remember her family. And Audrey, oh god Audrey. Meredith told me what happened when she came to visit in May. Audrey remembers her and Em's gonna beat herself up because she doesn't remember her."

"Derek, we're gonna have to take it slow," Carolyn said. "Remind her of her Aunt's first. Then her Uncle's. Start with the older ones. They will help Audrey and Emily. All of them are just so excited to see her, they won't care and by the end of our visit, she'll remember us all." Carolyn stroked his cheek gently.

"I sure hope your right Ma," he mumbled. Picked up a couple of her bags, and walked into the house.

* * *

"Auntie Lexie and Uncle Mark are having a baby," Emily babbled to her grandmother. Emily couldn't help much, but Carolyn managed to find her a job of handing her all the small things that she needed. It gave Emily something to do and gave Carolyn time to connect with her again. "Mommy and Daddy says it's a boy, boys are yucky! I wanted a girl cousin!"

"Well Em," Carolyn said. "You know you have cousins on your daddy's side too." Emily looked down.

"I do," she whispered.

"Yes, and they are all very excited to see you and-" Carolyn trailed off as Emily retreated to get her hippo. "Oh, who is this?"

"This is Hippo," Emily told her.

"Does Hippo have a name?" Carolyn asked, thankful that she managed to get onto a different topic.

"Nope, I have thinked of one yet," Emily informed her. "He still Hippo. Daddy wanted me to name him Hippy cause I gots a Bear named Beary, but Hippy a silly name!"

"Your father is a very silly man, right Em," Meredith said, coming in. "Why don't you come watch the parade with me while we let your Grandma cook."

"No, I wanna stay with Grandma, I cook good, right?" Emily smiled.

"Yes you do," Carolyn agreed. "But I have to use the hot oven now, so I think you should listen to your Mommy." This was a lie, it was almost noon and that was when the rest of the family was set to arrive. They gave them about an hour so then the Seattle family would come.

"Okay," Emily huffed. "What happen in da parade?"

"Well there's-" Mer broke off by the sound of a car coming up the driveway. Derek walked into the foyer with her.

"This would be the one time they come early," he sighed. Emily started to play with her dress nervously.

"Who coming," she whimpered.

"Daddy's family," Meredith said as Derek opened the door just as Nancy looked to be about ready to ring the doorbell.

"Derek," she gasped. "You scare the he-" She trailed off as she caught eye of her niece standing in the middle of the foyer. Her eyes wide, scared, and curious all at the same time. "Oh… Em."

"Derbear!" Liz giggled running in to hug her brother, before she could; she stopped beside Nancy, in the same fashion. By the time Kathleen and Meg came to move beside them, Emily had rushed behind her mother's legs. She was thankful the rest of the family hung back and was still getting out of the cars.

"Emily," Meredith murmured, prying her off her legs and picking her up. Em buried her head in her shoulder. "Come on princess, don't you want to see them?"

"Mama," she whimpered.

"Please let us see your pretty eyes baby girl," Derek begged as tears pricked his sister's eyes when Emily finally looked up. "Sweetie, this is your Aunt Nancy, Aunt Kathleen, Aunt Liz, and Aunt Meg. Can you say hi?"

"Hi," Em whispered and nuzzled into Meredith again.

"Hi Em," Liz was the first to speak to her directly. "You have a lot of cousins who want to meet you too, would that be okay?"

"Cousins? Like Aunt Lexie and Uncle Mark's baby?" Emily turned to her mother. "I really do have more!" She turned around to Carolyn who nodded at her reassuringly.

"They all missed you just as much as we did," Kathy smiled at her.

"I sorry," she mumbled.

"For what sweetheart?" Meg questioned.

"I no 'member," she said almost incoherently.

"You don't have to," Nancy told her. "You might never remember everyone, you want to know why?"

"Why?"

"Because we're even bigger than your family here in Seattle," Nancy smiled.

"That's big!" Emily exclaimed. Meredith placed Emily on the floor and kept her hand firmly in hers as the Uncle's entered.

"That's your Uncle Tom, Uncle Matt, Uncle Sean, and Uncle Greg," Kathleen told her but even though Emily was talking to them, the second she took a step towards her, Emily retreated. Meredith silently cursed herself for not taking Em upstairs and gradually introducing them the second the kids piled into the house. The last one in, Henry, slammed the door shut.

Before anyone knew what was happening, Emily let out a scream and jumped into Derek's arms, fearing for her life. The last time she heard the front door slam, she was leaving her house for 7 months in the arms of Jason.

"No Daddy, no!" she sobbed. Derek, without pausing to think, ran upstairs with her in his arms. Meredith closed her eyes and let out a distressed sigh as the older kids quickly shuffled the younger ones who were rather confused into the living room.

"I knew she was doing too good," she said, turning to the stairs.

"Oh Mer," Elizabeth exclaimed and reached out to hug her sister-in-law. "She's doing so well considering, you should be so incredibly proud. She's beautiful, she's so big… it's so…"

"Amazing," Kathleen finished. "She talked to us, for a second but she did. She acknowledged us and since you all had to take a psych rotation I know you should realize how incredible that is. Especially with all that she's gone through."

"I… I should make sure she's okay," Meredith murmured.

"Derbear's got it Mer," Meg interrupted. "He's a good daddy. I've never seen him like this, even before this happened. He's so protective."

"Why don't you call your friends and sister and Mark they could come early," Nancy suggested. "People Emily is familiar with."

"They probably left already, it takes an hour to get here with traffic and the ferry ride," Meredith mumbled.

"Let's go into the kitchen Mer, we can talk and wait for Derbear and Em to come back down," Liz grabbed onto Meredith's arm. Mer smiled at them and nodded hi to all of the boys and kids who were paying attention to her.

They got her to sit at the kitchen table although she was still looking at the stairs.

"We now know how Em is," Nancy said. "How are _you_?"

"I'm… fine," she whispered. "And really _fine_ fine. Not Meredith fine." Mer looked up and laughed at their serious faces. "Every day I spend it her it's a miracle and it's a blessing. Things she says and remembers amazes me. And then… sometimes it's just…"

"Just what?" Megan questioned.

"She tells us things like, how she got the scar on the back of her neck or why she runs on the stairs. Things that happened when she was away from us and-" Meredith turned abruptly to look at Elizabeth, Carolyn, and Kathleen. "Thank you Mom, Liz, Kath… I don't-"

"It's nothing," Kathleen shrugged.

"Kathy," Meredith whispered, tears welling in her eyes. "If you didn't recognize her, she would have- she would have been gone again. He was leaving again and was caught all because Liz called Mom and Mom you showed him that picture of our family. Without any of you, somehow distracting me when Derek was in Nevada or simply being the family that shares Em's blood… I don't know what might have happened."

"Meredith we are yours and Emily's family, we would do anything for you all," Carolyn reassured.

"I would do it all over again," Kathleen nodded.

"I know, I love you guys," Meredith smiled.

"Mommy," Emily whispered from Derek's neck who was now standing in the doorway.

"Em, come here baby," Meredith outstretched her arms. Emily gratefully latched onto Meredith's neck as Mer sat back down. Emily refused to look up. "Emily's what wrong?" She didn't answer. "Sweetheart are you embarrassed about what happened? You don't need to be embarrassed, they are your family, and they don't care."

"Don't," she said.

"No we don't, your daddy's very used to getting embarrassed by us," Nancy smirked at the little girl.

"Daddy you 'barrassed?" Em giggled.

"When you are older, we will show you pictures," Liz smiled. "Your other cousins and mommy have seen tons."

"Speaking of other cousins," Meredith said. "Would you like to meet some of them?" Emily looked up at her.

"Not all at once," Carolyn promised.

"Otay," Emily sighed. Meredith stood up and Emily squirmed down. Her hand rested securely in Mer's hand and Mer watched in amazement as Em's hand reached out for Carolyn's hand as well, who came to her other side.

"Rebecca, Lauren, Kristen," Carolyn called over the three oldest of the Shepherd girls. With them they brought Alyse, Audrey, Sammy, and Amy; the youngest and closest in age to Em.

"Emily," Meredith said. "I know you probably don't remember, but these are some of your cousins, Rebecca, Lauren, and Kristen they are older. But Alyse, Audrey, Sammy, and Amy are all around your age. You used to play with them." Emily's wide and timid green eyes scanned over the group of girls.

"Hi," she said shyly. Meredith could tell she was trying hard, she was so proud of her.

"Hi Emily," Rebecca said. "I'm Rebecca, just call me Becca all the other cousins do." Em nodded.

"I'm Kristen," Kristen said. "And this is my little sister Audrey, she's your age." She pushed her little sister forward and both of the three year olds looked wary. "Aud, are you gonna say hi."

"Hi Emily," Audrey finally said and suddenly Emily smiled widely.

"Audrey," she whispered. She leaned into her mother's ear. "Mama, I might 'member her! Just like I might 'member Aunt Nancy and…"

"Say hi silly goose," Meredith chuckled, pressing a kiss to her head.

"Hi," Emily smiled tentatively to her cousin. Audrey smiled back as Sammy, Alyse, and Amy said their own hellos. Emily didn't remember them, but she was warming up to Audrey almost immediately.

"Wanna meet some of the other cousins Em?" Lauren asked her, holding out her hand for her little cousin. Emily looked at her hand warily.

"You have to meet my obnoxious twin Henry," Rebecca giggled. "I need one more little kid to annoy the heck out of him." Emily looked back anxiously at her Mom, Dad, Aunts, and Grandma.

"Go ahead Em," Derek urged. With a giggle Emily reached out for Lauren's hand and she led her over to the group of cousins. Immediately after Meredith collapsed gratefully into Derek's arms.

"I really think we are gonna be okay," Meredith smiled as her daughter branched out for the first time since being kidnapped. Everyone watched in awe as she met everyone, rather timidly, but she did not need her parents. Audrey was glued to her side the whole time. The cousins had always been close even before.

"I smell Mrs. Shepherd's turkey," a new voice exclaimed from the front door.

"UNCLE MARK!" Emily exclaimed. Her eyes widened as everyone else followed suit, but she charged head first for her godfather who scooped her up in one swoop.

"What's up munchkin," he said.

"Uncle Mark, no 'kin!" Emily pouted.

"Come on Em, we don't like that face," Alex teased from behind. Emily giggled and smiled at him.

"That's what I love to see," Arizona kissed her hello.

"Aunt Lexie," Em said. "It's okay now dat the baby in your tummy a boy, I gots lots a girl cousins on my daddy's side!"

"Well I'm glad," Lexie chuckled as Emily jumped down and allowed the Shepherd's to greet Mark and the rest of the family. Emily ran over to Meredith and Derek shyly. Derek picked her up and pecked her on the cheek.

"You okay princess?" he asked.

"I'm fine Daddy," she rolled her eyes dramatically, Derek and Meredith burst into laughter. That was their Emily.

* * *

"I think we should go around the table before we start eating and say what we are thankful for," Carolyn suggested.

"Carolyn," Sean laughed. "There are almost fifty of us."

"Counting the kids, which is why there is a kids table," she retorted. Meredith and Derek turned around, surprised that Emily was sitting over there for the time being.

"Still too many, I wanna eat," Mark complained.

"I'll start," Mer volunteered. "I am thankful for my baby girl. For, what we have achieved in these past couple of months." Meredith's hand twined with Derek's under the table. "I get to watch her grow up, and grow so much from all she has been through. I am thankful to all of you, who are supporting us and Emily through this time. And…"

"And everything else goes without saying," Derek added quietly.

"Perfect," Mark laughed, breaking the tension. "We all agree, let's eat!" Everyone shared a laugh, interrupted by a tiny voice.

"Mama," it was Em.

"Yes pretty girl," Meredith turned around.

"Eat with you," she asked.

"Of course," Meredith said, picking her up and placing her on her lap. Derek got up and grabbed her plate and apple juice from the kids table before placing it in front of her. While they were passing out dinner, Emily snuggled into Meredith but was no longer afraid of the Shepherd's. Even with her Seattle family she was being shy. Someone who didn't know Emily was usually bouncing off the walls by now at a family party would think that nothing ever happened. They would just think that she was a shy little girl.

Her family knew better, but it was a step. Maybe one day she would be as hyper as she used to be, although Meredith and Derek debated whether or not that was a good thing.

"What do you want Em?" Carolyn asked. Em looked up from her mother's shoulder and took a look at the food that spread across the table.

"Everything," she giggled slightly and smiled widely as it earned a smile from almost all of the adults at the table.

"You are a hungry little girl," Liz laughed.

"Definitely doesn't get her eating habits from her father," Nancy shot at Derek.

"Mama says Daddy eats like a bird, he likes muesli and it's yucky," Emily's eyes glinted as she looked at Derek.

"Be careful Em," Derek warned playfully. "The tickle monster might come to your bed tonight." Emily giggled softly before settling gratefully in Mer's lap again. Mer pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head before sighing contently as everyone began to dig in. Dinner went smoothly, to keep her talking, the adults alternated from the Shepherd's to her Seattle family, and Em enjoyed it. Although it almost seemed like she regretted leaving Audrey though, because she was, besides the children in the hospital daycare, one of the only kids she remembers meeting that is her age. After dinner, everyone was surprised as she ran over to her and began talking like they used to.

Meredith and all of the women insisted on helping Carolyn clean up in the kitchen while the men sat down and continued to watch the football game. From the corner of her eye she saw Rebecca introducing Emily to the recent additions to the family, Ryleigh and Andrew. Two of the cousins Emily wouldn't have ever known, so the little girl was excited to kiss Ryleigh's little nose. Ryleigh was Liz's baby who according to the doctor's was a boy, poor Sean was completely enchanted with his baby daughter but his poor son Keith was left as the only boy in the family. Andrew, Meg's son, was obviously loved because he was the first boy in a while. However, the fact that girls dominated the Shepherd's automatically made Emily love them.

"She seems to be doing much better," Carolyn commented. "Especially after…"

"After what?" Lexie said worriedly.

"After one of the boys slammed the door, she, she had one of her episodes," Meredith explained.

"But Mer, she's talking a lot more than she usually does, even with us," Izzie said.

"What does her therapist say Meredith?" Kathleen said.

"Leave it to the shrink to ask about the shrink," Meg teased.

"Mer, you never did say why she cut it back to only two weeks," Arizona pointed out.

"She's been growing so much, and, Dr. Chance is impressed with her progress and credits it to us and you all," Mer smiled softly. "But my Em's strong, there's times when I forget I'm the parent, she talks like she older than me sometimes."

"Are there any specific problems, like the front door," Kathy pressed.

"Goodness Kathy," Nancy rolled her eyes. "She has her own therapist for a reason."

"Technically Mer doesn't," she offered. "And besides she's my niece."

"Actually, Derek and I decided that we should start going to a therapist as well; now that Emily is getting better, we need to work on taking care of ourselves," Meredith sighed.

"That's so great Mer, why didn't you tell us," Lexie exclaimed.

"Because going into therapy in not something to celebrate Lexipedia," Cristina rolled her eyes. Lexie let out a dejected sigh and collapsed in a kitchen chair, exhausted.

"Sometimes it is," Carolyn said. "Lexie dear, you better stop helping. Mark is an adopted child of mine, so technically that baby is my grandchild too!" Lexie giggled.

"Mer, you never answered my-" Kathleen started.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! HE'LL GET YOU IF YOU GO IN THERE! STOP! PLEASE!" a distressed wail came from the hallway adjacent from the kitchen.

"Em," Mer gasped.

"I think that just answered your question Kath," Liz shook her head.

"But-"

"Her playroom," Callie finished for her. "Em won't go in it still. And if she's thinking about it she won't step on the living room rug either. She'll do it by accident sometimes." They walked out to see Audrey slumped in a corner sobbing and shaking from fear. Liz let out a gasp and ran to her daughter's side. Meredith and Derek had Emily in between them as her body convulsed in sobs.

"But Mer said on the phone she was sleeping in her room, that's where he actually got her," Nancy mentioned.

"We don't know why," Lexie came up more slowly, guided by Carolyn. Mark came over to her side and he helped her the rest of the way.

"You get used to it," Meg nodded, understanding.

"Kathleen, what's wrong?" Carolyn said as she looked at her second oldest daughter, staring intently at her brother, her sister in law, and the girl sobbing in their arms. Kathy stepped up.

"Em," she whispered, nodding at Meredith saying she had an idea. "You don't like your play room huh."

"Jason," she wailed. "He… he…"

"You were in here, when he came into the house right?"

"Yes!"

"And you walked out to find your Mommy lying on the living room rug, hurt," Kathleen led on. Emily looked up, her tear stained face turning towards Kathy.

"Yes," she hiccupped, trying to stop crying.

"Are you afraid that by going in there or stepping on the living room rug will make other people get hurt?" Kathleen whispered, reaching out to push a stray curl off her face.

"Jason," Emily gasped, her little body still trying to recover from the sobs that previously wracked it. "Would tell me, he'd k-k-kill you all if I no do what he say. If I 'member you all."

"He can't get you now, you know that princess?" Derek murmured. "I won't let him."

"But Mommy gots hurt when-"

"Em, I won't get hurt if you want to go in there and have fun with your cousins; I'll be with your daddy and he can protect me," she reassured.

"But," she whimpered.

"You don't have to sweetheart," Meredith rubbed circles on her back.

"But if you do Emily, we will be right there," Kathleen said. Emily squirmed down from her mother's arms.

"Let me see," Em whispered. She secured her hand in her mother's, like always; but instead of Derek, she reached for Kathy with a smile. Together, Kathy and Mer, brought Emily to all corners of her playroom; Derek reminding her of her kitchen, and her play box, and all of her dolls and other stuffed animals. Suddenly Emily ran out of the room.

Alarmed, they followed her only to see her standing in front of Audrey, reaching out to hug the girl.

"I sorry Audrey, I didn't means to scare you; I just… I forgot that I liked my play room, that it not always bad," Emily said.

"It otay," Audrey smiled at her. "Mommy said you didn't mean it and that you were just scared." Emily flashed a smile at her.

"Want to go play," Emily giggled and held her little hand out for her cousin. Audrey nodded.

"Can Sammy, Lysee, and Amy come too!"

"Acourse," Emily said, and together they all ran to the play room, though the adults saw Emily's still slightly scared eyes watch her parents closely.

Meredith and Derek sat back, and watched their daughter play with her cousins. They couldn't believe it, this was their daughter, she was here; finally.

"I'm so proud of her," Meredith sighed as Derek kissed her gently.

"You should be," Kathy said. And the whole family settled down, ready to face whatever came next.

* * *

"I didn't want to eat here anyway!" he boomed as the waiter threw him out of the Denny's restaurant. He was in Ohio now heading west. He had gone all the way south to Florida, thinking about trying to get to Mexico or somewhere in the Caribbean; of course he had killed Howard, he was the only one skilled enough to forge a passport.

For Thanksgiving, he went out hoping for a small comfort. Jason wasn't a fan of being on the run, he just always was and he was used to it.

He missed his daughter Amanda, his real daughter.

Last year she was with him, eating in a very similar Denny's across the country somewhere, he wasn't quite sure.

If that brat hadn't been staring at him, he could've ate. Instead he freaked out and was kicked out of the diner. Sometimes he felt like it would be easier just to turn himself in.

But Jason couldn't do that, he still had some unfinished business to attend to.

* * *

**Well, they couldn't be completely happy but, all in all it was a very cute chapter I think (:**

**Please R&R!**

**So… the finale… I'm pretty much in denial and all of my stories, present or future will always have Lexie in it because she was one of my favorite characters ever! Anyone else feel like this season her character was tossed aside? She had the one storyline with Meredith screwing up with the patient, she whined for several episodes about loving Mark and being too scared to tell her, and now she's dead!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: I still don't own it, because if I did, Chyler Leigh wouldn't have wanted to leave it and even if she did I wouldn't have killed Lexie Grey! **

**This was a relatively fast update (for me anyway) so thank the fact that I am five days away from graduating high school and am done school already (: YAY!**

**Anyway, this chapter is a filler in most parts and will be much shorter than the previous ones. It sets up a major plot point for next chapter and gives us even more insight of the life of evil Jason Hartley!**

* * *

"DR. CHANCE! DR. CHANCE!" Emily giggled as she burst out of the elevator of her therapist's office.

"Emily Elizabeth Shepherd," Meredith scolded. "Inside voice."

"You are not the only person here, other people would like quiet," Derek added. Emily looked up at her parents, clutching Beary and her hippo close to her chest.

"Fine," he gave an overdramatic sigh and sat down on a bean bag chair with a bump. Meredith and Derek shot each other an amused glance.

Today was about five days after Thanksgiving, Derek's family having returned to New York yesterday. The past couple of days had been strange bliss and they knew Emily was excited to share it with Dr. Chance. Other than her incident with the playroom, Emily had seemed like their old Emily. Unfortunately, their little girl had still not gained much of a filter when talking about her days of kidnapping. Although Emily had not been reduced to tears again, at least each of the adults had been.

However, the tears were worth it when they saw the joy on her face from their Black Friday shopping trip or the serious look she gave them, incredibly shocked that they didn't think Emily wanted to sleep with all the younger cousins in playroom like they always did.

The only time Em came close to crying was the day the Shepherd's left Seattle. Even Emily herself said she could not believe she forgot them, because she loved them so much and enjoyed her time with them. The older cousins were already very protective of her, and it was the kind of attention Emily adored.

But before she left, Emily clutched in her arms, Carolyn Shepherd made them vow they would come visit them for Christmas and Emily got excited.

"Emily, Dr. Chance is ready for you," Miss Janice said from the front desk with a smile.

"Yay," Em squealed and ran full speed towards the doctors 'office.'

"Emily Shepherd, walk," Meredith commanded and looked at Janice apologetically, however the woman simply had an amused but proud grin on her face. After all, she had watched Emily's journey too.

"Hello Miss Emily," Dr. Chance chuckled as they caught up with her. "It seems you are very excited today."

"Yes, you wanna know why?" Emily asked.

"Why?" Dr. Chance bent down.

"I named Hippo!" Emily smiled widely.

"Really," Dr. Chance gasped. "Can I know hippo's name?"

"Only you, it's a suprise fo Mommy and Daddy," Emily told her. She motioned for her to come closer and Meredith and Derek simply heard the muffled whispers. They got puzzled when Dr. Chance's eyes lit up.

Dr. Chance led Emily into her office and the full hour session was finally used. Emily talked about the Shepherd's, she talked about her playroom, she talked about how much fun she had with her cousins. Whatever Dr. Chance asked, she answered. This therapy session was, for all intents and purposes, perfect.

"Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd," Dr. Chance said at the end of the hour, Meredith and Derek were standing outside simply in awe. "You don't have to bring Emily back in for another month which honestly wouldn't have been much different because I know a little girl is about to be a flower girl in a wedding in two weeks and would have missed our session anyway."

"What?"

"Why?"

They said simultaneously.

"Emily, come tell your parents what you named Hippo," Dr. Chance laughed.

"CHANCE!" Emily exclaimed leaping into her father's arms. "My hippo's name is Chance!"

* * *

Jason looked distastefully around the hotel room he was now living in. He was ninety nine percent sure he just saw a roach crawl under the chair beside him and everything smelled of mold. Of course he couldn't complain, he was paying with cash and it was in Chicago.

"Why did I kill that bastard," Jason muttered as he looked at himself in the mirror. Ever since the Denny's incident he was in a disarray. His last pair of contacts dried up, his hair was going to fall out if he tried to dye it one more time, and he had no fake ID. It was going to cost him thousands to get one in the city, but in order to get one, he had to establish himself and it was hard to do when your real identity is wanted by the FBI for countless charges.

He grabbed his hat, put it on his head, and left the hotel room. Luckily he still had all the money in his ex-wife's bank account and his daughter's old trust fund, so he was able to go to the store to buy breakfast, not the complimentary crap the manager gave him.

It did make him a little nervous carrying around thousands of dollars on his person, but god forbid he need to leave in a hurry, the hotel was not at a very convenient place to stop by. Between that and his gun he was set to go on the run whenever he needed.

That day had been uneventful, Jason's days usually are spent people watching, to see the crime that goes down in the city and how he could take advantage of it.

He decided to take a cab back to the hotel because it was too far to walk to. Big mistake. Within five minutes of the ride, Jason and the poor cab driver got slammed into, and before Jason could protest, a large man jumped in and hissed in his ear.

"Drive," he growled pulling out a gun. The cab driver gasped and did as he was told and before Jason knew, the gun was being pulled on him too.

* * *

"Mommy lookeee!" Emily squealed and turned in a circle. The flower girl dress she had on flowed behind her, the curls in her hair bouncing right out of the bobby pins Izzie had just put in them.

"At least she's cute," Izzie muttered.

"Auntie Izzie, you sad, why?" Em pouted. They were sitting in the dressing room, getting ready for Arizona and Callie's wedding; they had no bridesmaid's because they figured there was enough girls on the altar already, but they wanted and needed Em as a flower girl. They had put off the wedding for so long, not wanting to have a wedding without one.

"Because Miss Emily, I just spent a long long time on your pretty hair and you spun right out of it," Izzie laughed.

"It's a lost cause Barbie," Cristina snorted and popped open a bottle of champagne.

"My hair not pretty," Emily shook her head and sat down with a bump. She looked at her mother and her mother simply smiled at her.

"Why isn't it pretty Em?" Lexie asked.

"It still messy from Jason," Emily muttered. The adults in the room shared a brief, sad glance. "But maybe if you try again, I promise not to spin too much."

"Your hair is very pretty Em," Izzie reassured. "But when I'm done with it it will be even prettier!"

"Otay," Emily sighed and sat in front of her Aunt again just as Arizona and Callie decided to walk out of their respective doors.

"Oh my god!" Izzie squealed.

"Aunt Callie! Aunt Zona! You both so pretty!" Emily exclaimed, both of them forgetting her hair. Cristina and Meredith looked at each other, amused.

"You are very pretty too Em," Arizona said to her. Her eyes traveled to Callie's. "Of course not a gorgeous as you."

"Little ears," Izzie hissed.

"She doesn't even know what's going on Izzie," Lexie rolled her eyes. They were right; Emily was bouncing around their feet happily, in her own little world.

"So she won't hear when I tell you that, looking at you in that dress is making me want to skip right to the honeymoon," Callie smirked.

"What's a honeymoon?" Emily asked and Cristina choked on the glass of champagne she was drinking in laughter.

"I'm gonna be sick," Meredith mumbled out of nowhere and ran towards the bathroom.

"Momma sick?" Emily whimpered.

"Jeez Grey, seeing as you were the first of all of us to get pregnant I'd think you could stomach this," Callie groaned. Tears pricked Emily's eyes as the sound of retching came from behind the door.

"Come on Emily, don't cry," Izzie said. "You're Mommy's okay." Cristina was too busy trying to open another bottle of champagne to go check on Mer so Izzie nodded to the very pregnant Lexie who got up a waddled over to the bathroom.

"Meredith Shepherd you better not make me squat down because I will never get up," Lexie hissed.

"Hey Em, do you remember what you have to do as the flower girl?" Arizona asked her to distract her. Em's eyes lit up.

"Yeah! I walk down the aisle before you and Aunt Callie and throw flowers! Then I go sits with Mommy and Daddy!" she giggled.

"Very good," Callie nodded as Meredith walked out of the bathroom.

"Mommy," Emily said. "Why you sick?"

"I think I just have a stomach bug baby, nothing to worry about," Mer reassured and picked her up.

"Pwomise," Emily said sticking out her pinky. Mer laughed and twined her pinky with Emily's.

"You are too cute," she kissed her nose. "Let's go find daddy. I bet he can't wait to see you. And then you get to go throw all your pretty flowers."

"YAY!" They exited the dressing room and Emily wiggled out of her mother's arms the second she saw her father.

"DADDY! DADDY!" Emily squealed. "My dress! I pretty right!"

"You are the prettiest little princess I have ever seen," Derek told her.

"Mommy throwed up," Emily informed him immediately.

"Em," Mer hissed.

"Meredith," Derek murmured, worriedly.

"Derek, it's nothing," Mer dismissed. "It came so suddenly, just a bug or something. Maybe I ate something bad last night."

"You ate a salad because you said you weren't hungry," Derek reminded her.

"The lettuce could be bad," Mer giggled.

"Just let me know if you throw up again, okay Mer," Derek said, kissing her head.

"Of course," she rolled her eyes and looked at her daughter. "Emily Elizabeth, if you think you are going anywhere near that fountain you are sadly mistaken." Mer ran to fetch her mischievous daughter and felt another wave of fatigue and nausea pass over her. Unwilling to let it phase her, she simply led her daughter towards the area towards the back of the aisle where Arizona and Callie were waiting with their fathers. Trusting her in their capable hands, they went to find their seats. After about ten minutes, the music cued Emily to walk down the aisle.

Meredith gasped as the dimpled smile plastered on her little girls face as she walked down the aisle. Her chubby fingers kept gripping the flowers in her basket and spreading them around her. As she passed George and Alex, they stuck their hands out for her and her high fived them with a giggle. Mark smiled at her but teasingly Emily stuck her tongue out at him.

It was really hard to imagine this wedding almost happened without a flower girl.

That the flower girl was really the little girl they saw before them and not the haunted girl they picked up at the airport months ago.

"WAIT!" Emily exclaimed as she got to the end of the aisle. "It needs to be longer! I no get rid of all my flowers!" Emily stomped her foot, upset.

A chuckle spread throughout those who were in attendance.

"It's okay Em," Meredith told her, reaching for the basket.

"NO!" Emily yelled and yanked it back. With a smile she quickly dumped the rest of the flowers out into a pile. This time, everyone openly laughed as she stuck her thumb in her mouth. "All better!"

At least she was distracting Meredith from the queasy feeling she had in her stomach. However, he boundless energy made her have to get passed to sit on Derek's lap during the ceremony because she couldn't sit still. Pictures went by quickly and the reception started. Meredith's stomach was just about to settle when a waft of onions hit Meredith's nose.

Thankfully George was looking after Em at the moment because Mer had to sprint to the bathroom. When she felt her hair being held back, she looked back to see the face of her husband who had mysteriously gone missing for the past twenty minutes.

"Derek," she breathed. "Thanks."

"Are you sure it's a bug Mer?" Derek questioned.

"Yes Derek, because otherwise I feel fine… it was just when I smelled the onions that I-"

"When you smelled the onions," Derek said knowingly.

"Shit," Meredith hissed. The last time that happened was about four years ago, the day she found out she was pregnant with Emily.

"Mer when was your last period," Derek asked.

"You honestly expect me to remember that Derek, with all that's been going on?" Mer sighed.

"You don't know?" Derek said.

"I'm not pregnant Derek, the stress of all that's been happening probably gave me early menopause… how could I have time to have my period when I am caring for a very scarred and scared little girl."

"But you aren't sure."

"Of course not Derek, we'll have to buy a pregnancy test on the way home," Mer snapped.

"Or you could take this one," Derek mumbled and handed her a paper bag.

"Really Derek?" Mer sighed.

"I had a feeling," he shrugged sheepishly. Grudgingly Meredith took the test and placed it on the bathroom sink.

"Derek, what if it is positive?"

"Like you said Mer," Derek sighed. "You probably skipped your period once because of the stress. And besides, the last time we even had time for sex was before we even got Emily back."

"Shit," Meredith breathed.

"What?" Derek asked.

"I haven't gotten my period… since then," she gulped.

"That was almost three months ago Mer," he gasped. The timer they had set went off.

"It's now or never," Mer closed her eyes briefly before walking towards the counter. She looked down.

"What does it say Mer?" he pressed.

"Positive," Meredith whispered. "It says positive."

"You sure," Derek murmured and moved next to her. The positive sign stared them in the face. "Shit… we're pregnant."

"Jesus Derek," Meredith whispered. "This is great."

"Amazing," he agreed. "But-"

"MCDREAMY!" Cristina exclaimed, opening the bathroom door. "This is the WOMEN'S room, you are not a woman!" Outside the door, they watched Emily dance on her Uncle Alex's feet. Her head was thrown back in a fit of giggles, she looked so incredibly happy. The happiest she has been since she was kidnapped.

"But what are we going to tell Emily?"

* * *

"Shit," Jason growled as the cab driver slammed to a terrified stop. As quickly as the man pulled his gun on him, Jason shot him in the forehead. One thing he forgot was that his silencer that Howard had acquired was left behind in the hurry to leave the New York apartment three or more months ago.

"Dumbass," he cursed himself and looked at the driver who was looking at him terrified.

"So because you won't live long enough to tell another soul," Jason smirked. "I'm Jason Hartley, the convicted murderer and rapist. The kidnapper too." Before he could even react, a bullet was between his eyes. People starting to notice, Jason slipped out of the car, and disappeared into the night.

* * *

**So this chapter in a nutshell. Emily is still one of the most incredible little girl in the world, Jason is still a creepy murderous bastard and Meredith is… PREGNANT (: I'll leave you all to ponder what this will mean!**

**Please R&R! **


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Grey's (:**

**So a lot of you are hesitant to the idea of a new baby, but at the same time, it is time and it makes sense. Before they found Em, Meredith and Derek were prepared to always remember Emily in their hearts but learn to love another child and move on. Now it's time for the whole family to move on, as a family, and grow…**

**Sorry for it taking so long, I tried to get this done before going on vacation but unfortunately that did not happen so the wait period extended another week :/**

**But anyway, here it is!**

* * *

Meredith and Derek lay in bed, their eyes staring at the ceiling. It had been exactly five days since they found out Mer was pregnant by the stick, and exactly a day that they confirmed it by taking a blood test and getting an ultrasound from their OB Dr. Greene.

"10 weeks pregnant," Mer whispered. This was the first chance they had real time to discuss it, at the reception Emily had begun to notice their absence, and at home Emily was always the center of attention. And that was what worried them the most.

"How could we have been so careless Derek," Mer whispered, rolling on her side.

"We were unofficially trying to get pregnant back then Mer," Derek reminded her, placing a single hand on her nonexistent baby bump. But the ultrasound currently in his wallet reminded both of them that he or she was indeed in there.

"But-"

"We thought we lost her Mer," Derek murmured. "We thought she was dead and we got back together. Both of us were sobbing afterwards because we were thinking about her. It's not as if we thought we were going to get pregnant."

"What are we going to tell her Derek," Meredith hissed. "Emily's still healing. She was great at the wedding but she still complains about how short her hair is compared to what it used to be."

"But think how excited she is about her baby cousin," Derek reminded her. "She keeps complaining that it's a baby boy and begging Arizona and Callie or Izzie and Alex to have a baby girl cousin."

"It's different when it's a sibling Der," she whispered. "It's a child that will need _our_ attention when she should still be getting it. That bastard took her away from us, we, we lost seven months of our baby girls life and now we are asking her to give up her undivided attention from us. It's selfish!"

"We'll take it one step at a time Mer," Derek rolled over to kiss her cheek gently. "We will never stop giving her our attention; it will be a learning experience for all of us. We will help her understand just as we helped her understand why it was so bad Jason kidnapped her. Plus, we can ask Dr. Chance the best way to approach the subject if she reacts badly."

"So you think she will act badly," Mer fretted.

"I never said that baby," Derek murmured, rubbing her stomach. "But, what I know is I love all _three_ of you very much, and I will fight to make all of this okay."

* * *

"Mommy! Daddy! Wake up," Emily giggled as she jumped onto their bed.

"Emily," Meredith mumbled. "What are you doing up it's the middle of the ni-" She broke off as she realized that sun was pouring through the windows. "Never mind." She felt so tired, she couldn't believe it was already morning; her and Derek had talked for hours.

"I'm hungry! Breakfast!" she exclaimed.

"Emily that is not a way to ask for something," Derek scolded.

"Sorry Daddy," Emily sighed. "Breakfast please?"

"Only because you're my princess," Derek kissed her head.

"I'll always be your princess, right daddy?" her eyes sparkled.

"Right Em, no matter what happens," he nodded, sharing a quick glance with Meredith who was turning green already. It was the morning, and in the morning came morning sickness.

"Now?" Emily asked. "Please."

"Yes now."

"Mommy you coming?" Emily asked.

"I'll be down in a second Em," Mer breathed. Emily giggled and ran out of the room, beckoning for Derek. Derek kissed Mer's cheek reassuringly and followed his princess.

"Walk on the stairs Emily Elizabeth, do you want a time out!" he exclaimed.

"No timeout daddy! No!" were the last words Mer heard before her urge to throw up overcame her and the only thing she could hear was her own retching. When she finally had the strength to go downstairs, Derek had a concerned glance to send her way before covering it up quickly. Emily was sitting in her booster seat, Chance clutched in her arms.

"Mama, why take so long?" Emily asked.

"No reason baby," Meredith kissed her head.

"We goin to the hopsickle today?" Emily asked.

"Yes, but for only half of the day," Derek told her. Meredith's head snapped up in shock, they both were scheduled for full shifts today; they had a craniotomy at 4. "I already called and told Richard. Nelson's taking the 4 o'clock."

"How come?" Emily questioned.

"You ask too many questions for your own good little girl," Derek teased and placed her blueberry pancakes in front of her.

"I no little," she frowned. "Right mommy, I big, I three!"

"Derek, how could you be so silly, our Emily is a very big girl," Meredith nodded, sitting next to her. "So big that she doesn't need blueberry pancakes anymore. She's ready for muesli." Emily's eyes widened in shock.

"No! I not that big, I still little enough for blueberry pancakes!" she exclaimed. Together, the family of three shared a carefree laugh as Emily stuffed her face with the pancakes as if someone was really going to take them away, clueless as to what the rest of the day would hold for them.

* * *

"Yes Lexie, I will make sure that Richard saves you a spot in the program, it's called maternity leave for a reason," Meredith rolled her eyes as she balanced her phone and Emily's stroller. "Stop being paranoid… that is not an excuse Lex I was not paranoid when I was pregnant with Em… just because it's a boy does not make it different…. I am at work, I am hanging up now!"

"Secretly, I am looking forward to those calls," a voice whispered huskily in her ear.

"Derek," Meredith hissed, looking down at their daughter who was luckily distracted by seeing her friends in daycare and struggling to get out of her stroller.

"A little boy would be nice," he admitted.

"One Derek, it's a girl, I can feel it," Mer smirked. "And two, I will not be acting like Lexie when I am at that point in the-"

"Why aren't you going to be like Lexie?" Izzie asked, coming out of nowhere. Meredith jumped.

"Izzie," she gasped.

"AUNT IZ!" Emily exclaimed.

"Hi baby girl," Izzie smiled down at her. "Now why are you not like Lexie?"

"I'm here at work," Meredith said quickly. "She's not."

"Obviously, she's due in two weeks," Iz rolled her eyes, waving at Emily as Derek helped her get out of the stroller and with a half-hearted hug ran over to her friends. "But you won't be here at work for long; I saw that the craniotomy on the kid that I was also scrubbing in on is now with Nelson? Chief said you took half a day?"

"Oh," Derek said as Mer tensed. They wanted to tell their daughter before their friends. "We figured that Emily needed a Mommy Daddy day that wasn't just all about going to the therapist. She hasn't had one for a while, since she was really bad and we just got her back."

"Okay then," Iz narrowed her eyes at Mer's reaction. "Sounds good enough… but if Shadow Shep botches this surgery, you're both dead."

"Of course Iz," Mer nodded. "See you at lunch."

"Bye!"

"That was close." The rest of their half day seemed filled with close calls. Arizona had all but blurted out Mer was puking like she was pregnant when they were explaining to the parents of the ten year old who they were supposed to be performing the craniotomy on at 4 why Nelson was now. Mark had come to them constantly, freaking out about his child that was on the way, that Mer eventually snapped at him and he sulked away saying something about hormones. Mer was exhausted by the time they picked up but was rather eager to tell her the truth.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Emily squealed running towards them at 2 o'clock when they picked her up. It was rather clear to Mer that Emily was not. "Why you picking me up early again?" Derek smiled and caught her in his arms.

"It's because Em, we are having a special day, just the three of us," Derek explained and stiffened when he saw a cloud pass over her face. She now looked upset.

"Em baby what's wrong?" Meredith asked.

"Nothing," she mumbled. She and Derek shared a quick, nervous, glance and brought her to the car. They rode to the ferry in silence and afterwards, both of them turned around.

"Why are you sad Em?" Mer pressed.

"We having a special day," Emily's lips quivered. "You only have special days with me when I'm upset about Jason and Howard! I gets upset about them!"

"Oh sweetheart, this is good news, not bad news… Mommy and Daddy just wanted to spend time with you, not for that," Derek explained.

"Oh… okay! What we doing!" she finally chirped excitedly.

"That's a surprise," Meredith teased her and chuckled as she pouted. The ferry arrived and they left to go home. It was Emily's naptime so as they put her down they planned how they would bring up the subject of a baby. They did not want to overwhelm her or distract her, however they didn't want it put so blunt that Emily felt she didn't have a choice to become a big sister, even though she didn't. They needed it to be perfect, they weren't expected her to be completely open to the idea, but they hoped she at least understood.

Emily awoke from her nap as hyper as ever and questioning what they were doing. Had it been summer, they would have had a picnic or a bonfire; but it was winter and due to snow or rain any minute, so the family had to settle with sitting around the fireplace. Roasting hot dogs and making s'mores. Which worked in two ways, Emily had never had a s'more and Meredith was craving chocolate badly.

Derek had burnt Emily's first hotdog, earning a playful outburst from his rambunctious daughter. She hated the smell of burnt food because of the events of the past 8 months. However, hotdogs were always something that she couldn't have burnt. Sometimes Meredith swears Derek would burn her hotdog on purpose, just to see her adorable face as it scrunched up to reprimand him. Secretly, Derek loved burnt hotdogs so he would eat hers and give her his. Tonight was no different.

"What's a s'more?" Emily asked. "What's a s'more? I wanna know what a s'more is?"

"Calm down hyper girl and we'll show you," Meredith grabbed her and sat her on her lap. Derek put a marshmallow on a stick and handed it to her. Mer led her hand to put it in the fire and smiled widely at Derek as Emily started to giggle. After her marshmallow was ready Derek showed her how to make the s'more. When she finally ate it, her eyes lit up.

"I LOVE S'MORES!" Emily giggled, smudging the marshmallow and chocolate all over her face and fingers.

"Em," Mer muttered and tried to wipe it off but to no avail, she already had more on it by the time she wiped it all off.

"They are good aren't they," Derek nodded. "Do you know why we made s'mores?"

"Cause I never had em?" Emily questioned, tilting her head inquisitively.

"Yes, but that's not the only reason… Mommy wanted them," Derek said.

"Acourse, they so gooooooood!" she emphasized.

"But there's another reason too," Meredith added. "Someone else wanted them too."

"Daddy?" Em guessed.

"No," Derek shook his head.

"Then who?" she asked.

"You know how Aunt Lexie has a baby in her tummy, and that means you are getting a baby cousin?" Mer asked.

"Mhm hmmm, but it's a boy, I wants a girl cousin like Audrey and Sammy and-"

"And you know, Uncle Mark and Aunt Lexie were trying to have a baby," Derek led on.

"Yup, Uncle Markie and Aunt Lexie wanted to be a Mommy and Daddy like you," Emily giggled and stuffed another s'more in her mouth.

"But sometimes, people can get a baby when they are not trying to," Meredith continued.

"How?" Meredith and Derek shared a scared glance and almost burst into laughter.

"That's something for another day," Mer excused.

"Another day in about 30 years," Derek muttered under his breath. "But, today, we have to tell you that Mommy and Daddy are having a baby too." Emily tilted her head, confused.

"But your already a Mommy and Daddy," she murmured. "You're _my_ Mommy and Daddy." They gulped.

"It's possible to have more than one baby Em," Meredith explained, picking her up and putting her on the floor.

"But you're _mine_," Emily whined.

"Emily, we will always be your Mommy and Daddy, but we will also be the Mommy and Daddy of another baby girl or boy, your brother or sister."

"Do you understand?"

"NO!" she wailed. "NO! I DON'T WANT YOU TO!" Meredith looked at her in dismay. "GET RID OF IT!"

"I can't sweetie," Mer whispered, it was true. She was too far along that no doctor, even her friends, would abort this child. She reached out to stroke her face. "But that doesn't mean we-"

"NO!" Emily smacked her hand away. "I HATE YOU!" Meredith choked back a sob as Emily sped away from them, her chubby legs carrying her away and up the stairs, Meredith and Derek too shocked to follow her.

"Derek," Meredith cried out to him.

"Meri, it will be okay, it's a shock, we talked to Dr. Chance and she warned us this might happen," Derek murmured. "This was how she told us to."

"I know it's just…"

"Emily might have even acted like this if this never happened," Derek pulled Meredith onto his lap and pressed a kiss to her forehead gently. She was shaking from distress. They loved this baby already, as much as their baby girl they had now, but was having this baby worth losing her trust?

"No… she- she-"

"Meredith calm down," Derek whispered. "Em just has to get used to the idea. When Kathy had Sarah, Mike was not happy. He asked if he could move in with me and Addison, but when Kathleen told him no and so did I, he acted out. But when he met Sarah, I have never seen him act so gentle and kind."

"I'm gonna check on her," Mer sighed.

"Calm down first, you are still gasping," Derek told her.

"Fine," she surrendered. Meredith settled into Derek's arms and took deep breaths. She desperately wanted to hold her daughter close that she made sure it did not take too long. After about five minutes, her face was no longer red and blotchy and, with Derek grasping her hand, Meredith walked upstairs and knocked on Emily's door gently.

"Em," Derek called. "Emily we are coming in okay honey."

Silence.

"Emily, Mommy and Daddy just need to ex-" Meredith froze. "EMILY!"

* * *

Izzie knew something was wrong just from Mer's behavior today. The police were here now but soon leaving, after her friends called her and they all searched the house, there was no way Emily was anywhere to be found. She had to be outside.

The police think she left on her own, meaning she ran away, but that was what made Meredith and Derek so frantic.

However, she didn't even know why her three year old niece would have the urge to run away from the only place she found safe. The fact that she was only three reassured them that she probably was not far but the fact that the sun was setting and storm clouds were looming said they had to find her soon, or the result could be catastrophic.

"EMILY!" Meredith wailed desperately outside. "EMILY PLEASE COME _HERE_!"

"Mrs. Shepherd, I am sorry," the police officer excused. Izzie wished it had been Officer White or Lynch who came out, they would have stayed and helped. "But because this is not a kidnapping we have to wait 48 hours…"

"She's a three year old girl," Derek boomed. Alex leapt to his side to pull him away, Owen following afterwards. Normally it would have been Mark, but Meredith and Derek had refused to let him or Lexie help, just because they wanted to make sure Lexie's baby was okay and Mark was there to care for her.

"Whatever," Meredith muttered to the officer and turned around. She snatched a flashlight she had gotten out and took off near the woods. Cristina, Arizona, Callie, and Izzie looked at each other briefly before grabbing a flashlight and heading off behind her. George was staying behind at the house in case Emily came there; the men were going towards the lake.

She hoped to God Em would be found soon.

* * *

"Emily," Derek called. "Baby girl, please answer us!"

"Derek why did she run away?" Owen asked.

"I-" he began. Should he tell his friends? "I have no idea. She… she got upset and ran to her room. We were too busy trying to figure out what to do before we went upstairs and she was gone… God! I am a terrible-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence man," Alex snapped. "A terrible father wouldn't be this worried."

"And a terrible father would not have been able to help his child through the ordeal that she has gone through," Owen added.

"But clearly this is not helping," Derek growled.

"EMILY!" he heard Meredith screech and he closed his eyes. The last bit of light was beginning to disappear behind the trees; they needed to find her fast.

"Em," Derek decided a softer approach as they approached the reeds that surrounded about two feet in front of the lake. With a gulp he hoped it was one thing his daughter remembered about their property, that the lake snuck up on you if you weren't prepared. "Emily." His voice was just above a whisper. "Honey don't be scared."

A couple of reeds shivered a few feet away from him. His heart leapt and he gently walked towards it. "Em?" Derek's heart sank as a rabbit scurried away.

"Not her," Alex hissed in his ear questioningly, he had been looking next to him.

"Shhh," Derek murmured. The rabbit wasn't startled by him, it was startled by the tiny rain boot that stuck out of the side. "Baby girl?" he said hopefully. The reeds shifted again and he breathed a sigh of relief as a second boot popped out.

"Daddy," she whimpered. He felt Alex and Owen back up from his side while murmuring thank god.

"Come here princess," Derek sighed as Emily suddenly burst from the reeds sobbing.

"DADDY!"

"Derek," he heard Meredith exclaim upon hearing Emily. "Derek you found her."

"Right here Mer," Derek called and scooped up his baby girl, suddenly letting himself realize how terrified he was, cried softly into her hair.

"I was scared," Emily cried into his chest. "I was angry… I was-"

"Shhh baby girl, we'll talk in a little," Derek stroked her hair, realizing how terrified she was.

"Emily Elizabeth Shepherd you can NEVER do that again," Meredith sobbed, running up.

"Mommy," Em called as Meredith embraced them as well. Twenty minutes of crying passed before they were ready to move and go inside, their friends had left almost immediately, realizing that there was something that the family needed to discuss. Now inside, Emily wiped her eyes and looked up at her parents.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Emily, you had a right to be upset," Derek told her. "But you need to realize how much your actions scared us."

"I didn't leave the property," she defended herself.

"But you left the house," Meredith told her desperately. "The last time you disappeared out of this house we didn't see you for 7 months! Don't you understand how terrified we were."

"I know," Emily said dejectedly. "Am I in trouble."

"We are more worried about what brought on your need to run away," Derek said softly. "Help us understand how you can be okay with this."

"I can't," Emily wailed.

"Why baby?" Mer said calmly.

"Because you will love this baby so much more than me!" she exclaimed.

"How can you ever say that Em, we love you so incredibly much," Derek gasped.

"Because," she wailed.

"Because what honey," Meredith pulled her daughter onto her lap. Seriously Emily turned to look in her mother's own tear stained eyes while Mer wiped Em's away.

"Because the baby will be perfect, they baby won't be like me, won't be taked away from you," she cried.

"Oh sweetheart, just because you are hurt and scared doesn't make us love you any less than before, we love you even more," Derek told her.

"But the baby won't be hurt or scared!"

"But he or she will cry a lot, and need us just as much as you," Meredith said. "The baby will be scared because he or she won't be used to living outside of Mommy's tummy."

"It will?"

"And we'll need you to help him or her not be scared, you get to be his or her big sister and you will get to teach the baby how to play and be a good little brother or sister," Derek reassured. "There is no way we could love you any less if we need you so much."

"Really?"

"Really," Mer kissed her head. "Is that okay with you?" Emily looked from her mother and father, finally settling her gaze on Meredith's stomach. Her face got determined and she nodded seriously.

"Okay."

* * *

_One week later… _

Meredith smiled as her daughter kissed her stomach in the morning. She was still not fully open to the idea of having a baby around the house or sharing her parents, but she was excited to be a big sister and Meredith and Derek figured they had another 6 months to prepare her.

The past week has been a challenge. They wanted the news to just be the three of theirs a little longer, but Izzie, Arizona, and literally everyone has been bugging them to know what triggered Emily's latest meltdown. But they couldn't explain without letting their secret out.

"PHONE!" Emily giggled as the phone rang.

"Let me get it silly girl," Meredith reached around Derek who was lazily getting out of bed because he had an early shift today. "Hello?"

"Hey Mer," Mark was on the other line. "I figured that it was close enough to waking hours to get you to come down here and meet your godson."

"Oh my god!" Mer exclaimed. "Lexie was in labor!"

"Lexie had the baby," Derek gasped.

"Contractions started at 10, the labor lasted only till about 4," Mark said proudly. "Lexie is asleep but she insisted that I call you as soon as the sun was up."

"We're coming right away!" Mer burst with pride. "If Lex wakes up before we get there, tell her I love her."

"Don't worry, she is out, she might not even be awake when you arrive," Mark said.

"I'll see you soon and oh yeah Mark… congrats!"

"Thanks."

"Let's get ready," Mer smiled.

"Where we going?" Em asked.

"Aunt Lexie had her baby, we are going to go meet your baby cousin," Derek explained, slipping on his shirt.

"Cousin here," she said excitedly. It took about another half an hour for the family to get ready, but they were on the road and at the hospital in record time. Lexie was already up and holding him, the rest of their family already gathered in her room.

"Oh my goodness Lex," Mer reached out to kiss her sister's cheek and gaze down at her nephew and godson. "He's beautiful… I'm so proud of you." Derek kissed his sister in law on the cheek as well, simultaneously clapping Mark on the back. The second he stood up, they embraced quickly.

"Baby?" Em gasped. Alex who was near her smiled and lifted her up to the foot of the bed to see.

"That's right Em; this is your baby cousin," Derek nodded.

"You have yet to say a name," Izzie complained, Arizona echoing her.

"Spit it out Lexipedia," Cristina snapped jokingly.

"Meet Benjamin Derek Sloan," Lexie said proudly. Derek looked at Mark gratefully.

"That's adorable," Izzie squealed too loud, Benjamin stirring and letting out a whimper.

"Shhh Aunt Izzie," Emily giggled. "Baby's need quiet."

"And how do you know that Miss Emily," George teased.

"Mommy and Daddy told me, getting me ready," Emily said.

"For your baby cousin?" Lexie asked, flashing a grateful glance at her sister and brother-in-law.

"No silly," Emily shook her head. "For my Mommy's baby. Speaking of, if you having a boy Mommy, is my baby brudda gonna look like this?"

"Emily," Meredith hissed.

"Guys," Lexie narrowed her eyes.

"We wanted to leave this day to you," Derek sheepishly said into Mer's hair, placing his hand on her stomach.

"So much for that," Mark shrugged. "Congrats dude."

"OH MY GOD!" Izzie squealed again, this time fully waking up Benjamin.

"Izzie," Lexie hissed.

"Mer I can't believe you kept this a secret!"

"How far along are you!"

"When are you due!"

"Aunt Lexie," Emily interrupted the questions.

"Yes Em," Lexie smiled weakly, she was growing tired again.

"How did the baby come out of your belly?"

And for once, no one in their family had a word to say.

* * *

**So everyone knows now, and Emily is warming up to the idea! So at least it ended fluffy (:**

**Please R&R!**


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